Bright side of the Eclipse
by AnEveningMoth
Summary: No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell. According to my grandmother, it was my duty to surpass the great Itachi Uchiha, but how could I see him as a rival when his eyes were far too deep, far too cold, far too gone for me to ever comprehend? Itachi x OC story.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** This story is just a fanfiction based on 'Naruto' by Masashi Kishimoto, the very same Naruto we love and hate for all the right reasons.

This is an Itachi Uchiha x OC story, OC being Fukuro Miyuki. Somehow, pre-massacre Itachi interests me and I think there is so much more to him than him being 'Sasuke Uchiha's elder brother.' I hope I can capture _that_ Itachi Uchiha but I know that he would be a hard character to write about. I will try my best though. Of course, this fic will be dealing with the Uchiha massacre and all its consequences as well so expect some 'heaviness'.

And also, Fukuro Miyuki is my own addition to the Naruto world and I will be exploring her history and her clan's as well. Maybe I just want to know what it feels like to be Kishimoto for a while –smirk- I will try to make her into a better heroine because mostly, I hate the portrayal of women in the Naruto world (Especially that insufferable Karin.)

 **CHAPTER 1**

" _You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water."_

 _-_ _Rabindranath Tagore_

It was always ' _those damn Uchihas_.'

I grew up hearing my grandmother grunting and hissing these words under her breath as she shuffled about in her apothecary, fingering the leafy herbs she was so fond of growing. Even when it rained so much that the ceiling of the old, dilapidated shrine we lived in started leaking, she would find a way to put the blame on those ' _Uchihas'_. When I was a child, I could never understand her derision and her almost irrational loathing for the most renowned and prestigious clan of our village, who also happened to be our immediate neighbors.

Uchiha manor was beautiful and well-maintained, with manicured hedges and sweet cherry and peach trees that would bloom in balmy spring and their petals would rain down dreamily over the crystalline surface of small ponds and lakes in the gardens. Our home was just the opposite though. We lived in Nisshoku shrine, an ancient, ramshackle building swallowed by wild weeds and encroaching lianas with huge oak and maple trees standing around almost dauntingly. My grandmother, however, claimed to 'love' this shrine that was our residence, probably because it was the only existing legacy of our clan. The once legendary _Fukuro_ clan.

Whenever my grandmother was feeling less irritable she would tell me enchanting tales of the Fukuro clan, the clan that was once highly revered for their wisdom and sophisticated, pacific ways in the land of fire. The clan that built many shrines to promote nonviolence when the desire for peace still existed in the people's hearts but all that changed when the warring clans took over the land of fire. Hyuugas, Senjus and worst of all, the vicious _Uchihas_.

Then there was only bloodshed and fires, skirmishes and conflicts and of course, the peaceful Fukuro clan was stripped off its power, its teachings forgotten. Most of them were killed and only handful of them, those who gave up on their peaceful ways, those who had learnt to master ninjutsu and their chakras to fight, survived. And now, my grandmother, my Uncle and I, who lived in the Nisshoku shrine, were the last surviving members of the Fukuro clan.

After she was done telling me such legends and tales, my grandmother would pat my head affectionately and with fierce, determined eyes, she would ask me, "What is your name, girl?"

"Miyuki," I would say, "Fukuro Miyuki."

"Good girl," she would cover my forehead with her ancient, wrinkled hand, "don't ever forget that."

...

It was the day before the start of my ninja academy when I first met him. Of course, Uchihas being our neighbors meant that I had seen him many times before around Uchiha manor; he had always seemed mysterious, aloof and rather forbidding to me, but that day was the first time I had actually talked to him.

It was a chilly autumn evening and the foliage of maples and oaks was on fire all around. That day was one of those days when I would feel a bit lonely, hanging around the big Nisshoku shrine all by myself, when those stone owl-shaped gargoyles around the endless staircase would stare at me with their unnerving, empty eyes and drive me on edge. Grandmother had shut herself in the apothecary, looking for an antidote to a rare poison assigned to her by Hokage and my Uncle was praying, as usual, being a nonviolent person who refused to learn any kind of ninjutsu.

I had entered the dense woods surrounding the Nisshoku shrine, throwing the kunais and shurikens randomly at the small squirrels and badgers who gazed at me with their doleful eyes like that of a prey. And then one of the rabbits decided to taunt me by clutching my fallen kunai in its mouth and scurrying off into the thick mesh of the trees.

"Hey!" I called as I ran after it. "Give that kunai back!"

When the rabbit refused to heed my humble request, I decided to be a bit more forceful. "Give it back, I need it!" I shouted, pushing back the claw-like branches of the trees. "Give the kunai back when I am asking you nicely, or I will impale you against a tree!"

"And here I thought that the people of Fukuro clan were supposed to be proud of their nonviolent ways."

I suddenly stopped at the unfamiliar voice, panting with the realization that I was standing in a small clearing and the woods had gone disconcertingly quiet, so much that for a second I thought that the voice must have belonged to a ghost of one of our 'peace-loving' ancestors. I immediately took a defensive stance holding out my shuriken just the way my grandmother had taught me. "Who is there?" I asked rather shrilly. "C-come out! I am warning you, I've got a shuriken."

"Oh really?" Now the voice sounded amused.

"Who is there?" I repeated.

"It is I," my eyes followed the voice to find him crouching over a branch of an oak tree. "Uchiha Itachi."

"Uchiha," I scoffed. "My grandmother told me all about you people!"

"Did she?" Now he sounded even more amused as he sprung up from the branch to land sinuously on his one knee, right in front of me, his midnight-black hair gently fluttering in the wind. "What exactly did she tell you?" He asked, standing up to face me at last. For a while, I was struck by the beautiful boy that he was, standing amidst of the gentle rain of the scarlet autumn leaves, with fiery sunlight filtering from the canopy of the trees, highlighting the side of his face.

"Nothing." I muttered, a bit innerved by his dark eyes too mature and too intense for a six year old, and also by the flawless display of his quick, fluid movements that could only belong to a full-fledged shinobi.

"You didn't tell me your name," he said a bit condescendingly. "It is considered rude not to give your name when somebody introduces himself."

"That is none of your business," I snapped as I turned around to look for the rabbit again, dismissing him.

"Fukuro Miyuki, isn't it?"

My eyes widened. "How... How did you know my name?"

He shrugged. "We are neighbors and I like to keep track of my surroundings."

"Well, if you already know that then stop wasting my time. I need to find that rabbit... I need to—"

"Is this what you are looking for?" To my surprise, he was holding up my kunai, the very same one the rabbit had taken off with.

"Give it here." I sprang at the kunai dangling from his index finger but he quickly wrapped his hand around it and with the flick of his wrist, it disappeared somewhere, like a magician's trick.

"First tell me what your grandmother told you about us." He was smirking now that he knew that he had me in his trap.

"Why do you want to know?" I glowered at him murderously.

"Like I said I like to keep track of my surroudings. In case you both are conspiring to murder us in our beds... It is only… _prudent_ for a shinobi to be on guard."

"We don't plan to do anything of that sort!" I snarled, incensed now. "Uchihas are the bloodthirsty monsters capable of anything, not us!"

For a slow moment, he said nothing and his eyes hardened into smoldering, black coals, blazing with some dark emotion I couldn't fanthom. I took an inadvertent step back, a bit intimidated with the intensity in his eyes, wondering if I had offended him somehow but then he had already composed himself, and corners of his lips lifted into a wry smirk. "Of course, that would be us, the _Uchihas,_ the _blood-thirsty monsters, as you say_."

"Give me back my kunai."

"Or what?" he challenged.

"Or... Or I will impale you against the tree!"

"Right." I could see that his eyes were laughing mockingly at me now. "That is quite convincing, coming from a girl who can't even hold a shuriken right."

"You—!" I was beyond indignant now. Words failed me as they always did whenever undiluted fury surged over me and I lunged forward, swinging a shuriken at him. To my extreme vexation, he dodged it effortlessly, fluidly, like it was nothing but an autumn leaf falling off a tree. Miffed, I took out few more shurikens from my ninja gear and flung them in his direction, savoring a small taste of victory when they actually hit him, only to find them stuck to a log with the great Itachi Uchiha nowhere to be seen. I blinked, bewildered, as I did know that no one could ever master a replacement jutsu at our age. And yet, he had, impeccably so.

I dropped down on my knees, panting; too exhausted to spar anymore with someone whose abilities obviously far exceeded mine. "Give it back," I whispered, hating the pleading edge in my voice.

"If you want it back," he had suddenly appeared right behind me and I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck, much to my astonishment and chagrin, "get it back yourself."

I whirled around, swinging my small legs, aiming at his torso but he had vanished once again in thin air. "Give it back!" I screamed out in frustration. "It is the only thing I have of my father!"

Suddenly, he appeared right in front of me, almost like a phantom, appraising me with his dark eyes that were no longer mocking and patronizing but soft, rueful. He held out his hand to me with my precious kunai sitting snugly in it. "I am sorry," he said, "I was only looking for a sparring partner. I didn't… mean to make you upset."

I snatched away the kunai and cradled it protectively to my chest, glowering at him with my eyes shivering with the unshed tears. "Find some other sparring partner." I told him coldly.

"Of course I have others," he said, "but I was looking for someone of my own age."

"You are just a bully!" I told him stiffly, "and all bullies are cowards, my grandmother told me so."

"I have never been called a coward before," he disagreed, scowling. I knew I had hit the nerve.

"Well, that is what you are!"

"I am not."

"Yes… yes, that is what you are." I slipped my precious kunai in my ninja gear in case he tried to put his hands on it again and stood in front of him defiantly. "All Uchihas are bullies and cowards. My grandmother told me all about it. You bullied our people and took away our lands!"

He opened his mouth, no doubt to deny it but right at that moment, my grandmother appeared with thunderous look in her eyes. "Miyuki!" she bellowed, "did this Uchiha boy harm you in some way?"

When I didn't say anything, she turned around and advanced on him like a lioness, her back ramrod straight even in her age. She waved her cane at him admonishingly. "What did you do to my granddaughter? Answer me, boy or I will feed you to wolves! They are everywhere in these woods and they listen to me, make no mistake. They will rip you apart."

"I—"

"He didn't do anything, Obaa-san." I said hurriedly, even though I would have loved to see him flinch and cower under my grandmother's piercing eyes. But he had gotten my kunai back for me and I decided to return the favor. "He was just looking to… to spar."

"That's right," said Itachi, a bit relieved.

"Well boy," my grandmother growled at him, relief flooding her eyes. "Are you taking the ninja academy tomorrow?"

"I am," he said politely.

"I am warning you, my grand-daughter is going to surpass you so look out for her."

"Obaa-san," I muttered a bit sheepishly because I already knew that that would be an almost impossible feat.

His lips twitched. "I will."

"Well then, off you go, boy and don't ever come back to these woods again. This land is our territory, you hear? Next time, I won't be this kind."

"I will keep that in mind and take my leave now then. Jan-ne." he said, his black, enigmatic eyes trained on me and then he disappeared in the smudgy shadows of the approaching twilight. The crickets were singing as they flitted about unseen in the dark bushes and owls were hooting, celebrating the coming of the night. Few bats started spiraling around as we climbed our way back to the exhaustingly long staircase to the Nisshoku shrine, lined by hundred lamps, glowing in the blue haze of dusk, gathering the dancing moths from all around. It was one of those hazy times of the days, when nothing seemed real, neither night nor day, as if everything was trapped in a cold, surreal dream.

"Listen, Miyuki," my grandmother said, her eye-sockets in shadows seemed as empty as those of gargoyles. "I wasn't bluffing. You need to surpass that boy at all costs, you hear?"

"But… but Fukuro is the nonviolent clan."

She scowled. "And you are one of the most violent children I have ever come across, my dear. And it doesn't even matter. I already know that if we remained docile and 'nonviolent' like the way we used to, we will disappear altogether from this land and no one will ever remember us. If you want to stop a bee from stinging, you need to sting it back. We need to take control. And you, my grand-daughter, you will help us restore our clan to its original status and prestige. You will change this rotten ninja world."

"But… but how?" I asked with bated breath.

She smiled then, a smile that scared me more than anything else, because it was insane, because it was vengeful and yet so kind. "You will become the hokage. That is how."

...

'Fukuro' means 'owl' in Japanese which seemed a plausible name for the clan since that clan was once known for their wisdom.

'Nisshoku' means 'Eclipse.'

'Miyuki' means 'deep snow.'

...

Please let me know what you think!

- **-AnEveningMoth**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

" _It is not light that we need, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake."_

 _-Frederick Douglass_

* * *

Needless to say, Itachi Uchiha and I developed a mutual dislike for each other right after our unfortunate first meeting. He was more subtle about it than I was, though. When we came face to face on the first day of the ninja academy, he gave me a curt nod of recognition and just appraised me coldly. Although his eyes were impassive, I could perceive hints of mockery in them, almost as if he was measuring me up with that penetrating gaze of his. I promptly went a bit red, remembering my grandmother's embarrassing declaration about how she expected me to surpass him and then glared at him, silently demanding him to free me from his stifling scrutiny.

In the end, he was forced to break the eye-contact by a commotion of fan-girls that surrounded him like a riptide, clasping their hands together and squealing pathetically. I almost gagged with disgust and stomped away. What did they see in him exactly? Couldn't they see that behind those dreamy black eyes and long eyelashes, he was just a bully who derived pleasure from tormenting others?

 _Apparently not_ , I thought as some girl shrieked "Itachi-kun!" loudly in my ear.

It was unthinkable, that all he had done was to sit broodingly in the corner of the classroom and yet, he had successfully managed to capture attention of every kid and every instructor within thirty miles radius. The instructors couldn't seem to stop singing praises of the 'prodigious Uchiha Itachi', the 'great Uchiha Itachi', the 'well-deserving heir to Uchiha clan' whose skills far exceeded even those of the chunins. Worst of all were the hordes of fan-girls that couldn't seem to stop eyeing him and then giggling stupidly whenever he was nearby. Nobody seemed even remotely interested in the plain, old, gloomy me, sitting there in my best apple-green dress with my chestnut-colored hair tied in a ponytail. If anything, everybody seemed to be avoiding me, probably because I was too busy glowering at everything in distaste. And it was all ' _Itachi-kun's'_ fault who was sitting there smugly on his desk, acting oblivious to all the attention he was getting.

"It is annoying, isn't it?" Someone said. I turned around to find girl with wild, dark hair sitting beside me with three little gray canines. She had unusual red pattern painted over her cheeks and was petting one of the dogs absently.

"What is?" I asked.

"For these girls to fawn over that Uchiha over there." The canine under her hand began growling at Itachi Uchiha and she scratched it under its ears affectionately. "I think only dogs deserve this kind of attention, not some random _boys_! After all, dogs are the most loyal to you!"

"Of course!" I agreed fervently. "These dogs certainly deserve way more attention than that Uchiha! What is your name, by the way?"

"It's Hana Inuzuka, from the Inuzuka clan and these canines are the Haimaru brothers, my companions for the lifetime."

Since we were both somewhat more unruly than other girls and shared the same eccentric, unfeminine interests, it was only inevitable for us to become inseparable from day one. Of course, our mutual dislike for Itachi Uchiha played a big role in that. And besides, her canines seemed to like me as well and would start barking with displeasure whenever Itachi Uchiha was around; Hana seemed to trust their judgement a lot. Living in the remote Nisshoku shrine meant that I hadn't been able to interact with many kids of my age and so I was, of course, really glad to have made the very first friend.

"Fukuro Miyuki!" The instructor bellowed one day, "Stop daydreaming and pay attention!"

Several people snickered as I woke up from my reverie of socking that insufferable Itachi Uchiha in the face. "Yes, Yagari-sensei?"

"You will engage in the sparring match with Uchiha Itachi. Now on your feet!"

Half self-conscious and half excited, I went over slowly to stand right in front of Itachi Uchiha, who looked too nonchalant for my liking, almost bored, with his arms casually bound across his chest. "Would you," he drawled as he executed a seal of confrontation, "quit glaring at me like that? It is like you hold some vendetta against me."

I glowered at him even more in response and raised my fingers into my own seal of confrontation, secretly imagining gouging those haughty eyes of his out with them instead. "Last time, I went easy on you," I lied, "this time I won't."

Again that insufferable smirk. "Hn. I am looking forward to you surpassing me then."

"Now then, start!" Yagari-sensei shouted.

It was even more humiliating than the last time and ended with me groveling in the dirt and him sitting on my back, holding both my wrists prisoners. All the boys burst into applause, the fan-girls started cheering and hooting and those instructors immediately began applauding his legendary Uchiha taijutsu prowess, much to my indignation and mortification. I began struggling under him. "Let me go now!"

He released me slowly, almost as if savoring his victory and then sprung into standing position, without even a scratch on him.

As if in red haze of shame, I too stood up, not even bothering to brush the dirt off my clothes. "Now make the seal of reconciliation!"

Itachi held out his two fingers, waiting for me to grab them with a patronizing smirk, his eyes unrepentant. Quickly, I hooked my two fingers around his and wrenched them with all my might until I heard a satisfying crack. "You—" He grunted softly, more in surprise than in pain and glared at me, holding up his throbbing fingers.

It was my turn to smile at him cheekily.

"Fukuro Miyuki!" Yagari-sensei cried out admonishingly. "Would you kindly refrain from acting like such a sore loser? You lost fair and square!" He went on and on about the importance of seal of reconciliation for the shinobi of the leaf village and how I needed to take it seriously and how I was dishonoring the most revered gesture. "I am simply _appalled_ by your behavior! To think that you belong to a peace-loving and honorable clan such as Fukuro! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"But you said that a ninja must strike when the other least expects it!" I countered hotly. "It is his fault for dropping his guard!"

"That's right," Itachi said who seemed a bit impressed now, albeit against his will. "I shouldn't have dropped my guard at the last moment, not with _her_ at least."

Everyone booed at me and some even went as far to threaten me for doing something like that to their precious ' _Itachi-kun'_ but Hana beamed at me approvingly, flashing me a thumbs-up, her three canines jumping up and down, giving me congratulatory _woofs_. "Honestly, that was the best thing I have seen out there in the sparring matches," she chattered on as we made our way through the crowd at off-time. "I mean the look on that stuck-up Uchiha's face! It was priceless! I hope you snapped his fingers into half. And I don't think you should pay any heed to that horse-faced Yagari sensei. He's just—hey, where are my Haimarus?"

"There they are!" I muttered, pointing. "Those traitors."

Sure enough, the three Haimaru brothers were now wagging their tails happily around Itachi Uchiha who stood there in the middle, giving them dog-biscuits.

"Don't call my dogs traitors!" said Hana sharply. "He… He just bribed them into accepting him, that conniving jerk. That's all."

"Still," I scowled at them. "That still makes them traitors."

"That Uchiha is cleverer than we thought."

"You have no idea."

…..

It was half an hour trek from ninja academy to the Nisshoku shrine and usually, I enjoyed that time of the day, walking alone through the grove of spruce trees with golden sunlight trickling down from the mesh of branches and washing over me. The air was always fresh and crisp up there, away from the bustling village of Konoha and skylarks and mockingbirds were always a welcome company as they sang and twittered on my way up. The trail meandered over the hills, through the thickets and trees with full view of the valley of Konoha on one side where our founders Madara and Hashirama had probably once sat daydreaming about the village they would create one day. Being just six years old at that time, I was, of course, still unaware of what went through in creating the village. The village was just there and everybody told us that it would be our duty to protect it in the future. Why and for what reason, I had no idea.

That day, I was walking back home as usual, without paying any heed to my surroundings, too busy humming a song and thinking of the ways I could defeat Itachi Uchiha, which seemed to be my favorite pastime those days. I didn't even realize that the woods had gone ominously silent. No cicadas, no sparrows, even the gentle rush of the Naka River seemed to have quietened.

And then, suddenly, the woods were filled with shrill, obnoxious sounds, so loud that I had to cover my ears in panic. The cheery sunlight abruptly disappeared and I looked up to see a huge murder of crows descending from the sky, like a dark thundercloud. "No!" I screamed as hundred crows started pecking at my flesh almost vengefully, _cawing, cawing, cawing_ incessantly all the while. I started thrashing my arms desperately, trying to free myself from their sharp talons, their beaks, their ugly wings.

"No, get off!" I cried out, almost on the verge of tears. I have always had an irrational fear of crows. "Get off now or I will... I will _pull all your feathers out_!"

Just then all the crows stopped their pecking at once and left me abruptly almost as if they were called off by someone. I lowered my bruised arms slowly from where they were wrapped around my head, shuddering violently and cracked open my eyes, to see a familiar figure standing eerily with the black halo of crows surrounding him. Itachi Uchiha.

"Y-You!" I choked out, violently rubbing my arms, panting. As I stared at him, I felt like I was trapped in a dreadful, inescapable nightmare; his eyes seemed so callous as he stared back at me, imprisoning me in that terrible moment, with black crows all around him like a dark cloak. "You!"

He gestured to the murder of crows behind him, murmuring something to them softly and to my astonishment, they disappeared into the woods, leaving us alone. He stepped forward then, his face inscrutable. "You alright, Fukuro?"

"Did... Did you call these crows on me?" I sputtered out, my eyes burning with tears.

He took another step, holding up his hand in an almost placating gesture. "Calm down."

"No, stay back!" I yelled, taking up a defensive stance. I was terrified of his black, black eyes like smoldering coals, of what he was capable of. "Is this a payback? You did this to harm me, is that it?"

His eyes widened for a moment as he assimilated my words and then narrowed menacingly; I could feel the waves of quiet fury emanating from him. "You think I sent these crows to attack you in spite?"

I gave a stiff nod.

"Is that what you think of me?" Now he sounded almost hurt as he took another intimidating step forward, his eyes swirling with intensity.

"I…" Suddenly, I wasn't too sure.

"You know nothing about me."

I hung down my head abashedly and said nothing, feeling as if someone elder was chastising me.

"I called them _away_ from you. It is because I have always been able to talk to the crows. I didn't send them to attack you. I would never..." His voice trailed off.

So now he was a freak who could talk to _crows_. Go figures.

"Then why… why would they attack me?"

"That is what I would like to know." He stepped right on the edge of the hill overlooking the valley and gazed down, his midnight-black tresses billowing around his face in a gusty wind. "The animals in the woods have been...restless lately. It's almost like a premonition of some storm."

His words sent icy chills slithering across my back. "But there are no clouds." I said rather meekly.

"Which is even more suspicious," his dark eyes, too mature for his age, narrowed. "Like calm before the storm."

Uncanny silence filled the heavy air between us as I stared at the back of his head. Even as I desperately searched for something in my mind to dispel the sudden tension, I couldn't utter a single word. I wished I was warm and snug in my bed and not standing here, having this strange conversation with him.

Suddenly, he tilted his face over his shoulder to look at me, his eyes like calm lakes at midnight, compassionate and reassuring, almost as if he understood my deepest, darkest fears. "Come on," he said, "I will take you home. We are neighbors after all."

"I don't need your company, Uchiha," I snapped, smoothing my hands on the goosebumps over my arms.

"Yes, you do," he sighed as he reached towards me with his hand. "You look terrified."

I slapped his hand away. "I said I don't—"

Unfazed by my rebuff, he took firm hold of my wrist and began dragging me along with him. "Let go, Uchiha. I can take care of myself!"

"What would you do," he said, never relinquishing his vice-like grip, "if the crows decided to come back? Don't you need me to protect you against them?"

That shut me up and even though I should have taken umbrage at the note of amusement in his voice, I grudgingly let him lead me through the suddenly unfamiliar, ominous woods and slithering shadows in silence. Even now I remember that though he was just a kid like me, I had never felt safer than I did then, almost as if no harm could possibly come to me when I was with him.

We stopped in front of the large red gate of Nisshoku shrine. He looked a bit distracted and kept glancing at the lurking shadows as if expecting something. "Stay inside today." He said with his eye boring into me. "Something is going to happen tonight."

"But… what?"

"I don't know." He admitted.

"You must be imagining things."

"Perhaps."

Just as he turned around to walk away, I asked him to wait. "What?" he said, almost wearily.

"Um…" I fidgeted with my hands. "I am sorry, for breaking your fingers earlier. I just—"

"Don't worry." He smirked over his shoulder. "You didn't break any finger of mine."

"I… didn't?"

He flexed his fingers which I had supposedly broken earlier. "You almost sound disappointed."

I was, but of course I didn't admit that. So, he really was as formidable as they all said. How annoying. "Well, then," I said stiffly, unable to keep the disappointment from my voice. "Take care."

He nodded and then disappeared in the trees, suddenly leaving me alone. I heaved a sigh and started climbing the endless stairs of the shrine, trying not to think about what could be lurking in the shadows of the woods all around. Those hundred owl gargoyles around me seemed even more eerie and unnerving than usual as they stared at me with their shadowed eyes, as if they were trying to speak to me, to tell me something, something dark, something I didn't want to know. Or maybe Itachi had just messed me up with his pointless warnings. Anyhow, I made a mental note of destroying all these stupid gargoyles the first thing after I inherited the shrine from my grandmother, although she would _kill_ me for it even if she had to rise from the grave.

As usual, she started nagging me as soon as I reached home, thrusting a mortar and pestle in my hands.

"How do you expect me to surpass Itachi Uchiha if I keep doing errands for you?" I grumbled. "I am pretty sure that he is training right now, not grinding some stupid herbs!"

"Shut up!" she said crossly. "Your tongue has been getting really long lately. You are begging to be caned."

"How can you even think of caning me when my parents are dead?" As always, I decided to guilt-trip her. "Don't you have any conscience?"

And as always, it didn't work. "Such impertinence. Sometimes, I think have spoiled you too much, Miyuki." she sighed in dismay. "If our ancestors saw your insolent, shrewd ways, they wouldn't be able to believe that you are their own descendent. They would think—"

Suddenly, her words were swallowed by an earth-shattering explosion and the shrine shook as if with some catastrophic earthquake. "Obaa-san!" I yelled, flinging the mortar down and reaching out for her wrinkled, yet firm hands. "What's happening?"

Suddenly, air was ringing with a crescendo of horror-struck screams, the reverberations of which settled in my bones chillingly. I clung to my grandmother, whose eyes too were wide with fright and panic as more explosions shook the world. "Calm down, Miyuki!" she kept saying. "Don't let go of me, understand? Just—"

She slid the old window open and stepped outside, dragging me with her.

The sky was ablaze. It was burning and melting with blood, so much that we could not even see the blue of twilight. Embers fluttered all around, almost beautifully as if they were fireflies, but I knew that they only represented devastation, doom, death. The whole valley of the village was shrouded in haze of putrid smoke. Few trees had caught fire and the tongues of flames danced in the darkness to some terrible melody. The world was ending.

" _Something is going to happen tonight."_

"Obaa-san!" I whimpered.

"Don't you worry, child," she said fiercely. "I am with you."

Suddenly, a masked ANBU appeared in front of us. "You need to evacuate this area immediately. Lady Fukuro, you have been summoned by Hokage. You can leave Fukuro Miyuki in my care."

"What's happening?" Grandmother asked urgently.

"The village is under attack," the masked man said. "It is the nine-tail fox."

Far off in the distance, I heard a deep, loud, blood-curdling roar.

* * *

Please review!

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

 _And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. But when you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about._

 _-Haruki Murakami_

* * *

Far off in the valley of Konoha, I could make out a sinister silhouette that was the nine-tail fox, the monster bent on destroying our village. There was an undeniable thrill in watching something so immense, so evil and so devastating, so much that with a single movement, it could reduce hundreds of houses to dust. For a moment, I couldn't keep my eyes off the giant beast, standing there almost majestically amidst of fluttering embers and clouds of ashes.

Soon, the Anbu member had ushered me into the endless maze of the tunnels situated in the mountain and I immediately felt a small sense of relief to have some cover above my head. Nevertheless, my hands were still pale and clammy as I clung to the masked man beside me, trying not to cringe whenever I heard an explosion. "Uncle!" I gasped out suddenly. "Where is my Uncle?"

"He can take care of himself, kid. My only orders were to take children to the safety. Your uncle might be in some other civilian hide out."

"But—" I bit my lips to swallow the hysteria bubbling inside of me as we entered a cave full of other children, ranging from babies to the kids till age of ten. Most of them were sobbing at the top of their lungs, calling out their parents who were shinobis, probably busy defending the village.

I sat down and wrapped my trembling arms around my knees, trying to remember the words of prayers my uncle had taught me but I was too petrified to even do that. I knew that my grandmother was practically an honorary member of the council and was much needed by the village in the dire situation such as this but I still couldn't help wishing that she was there with me to hold my hand.

By chance, my eyes fell on a baby that lay there right beside me, wrapped in blankets, bawling his eyes out. "Shh, it's alright." I cooed to the baby, "don't cry. Your Kaa-san will be here soon."

The baby promptly went quiet and started gawking at me with his watery, vaguely familiar eyes, like two glittering obsidians. He extended his chubby, dimpled arm and wrapped his tiny hand around my index finger. Slowly, his pale, lavender eyelids began to droop and for a while, he stared at me with those slumberous eyes. Then, out he went like a candle and began snoring serenely.

Strong, unprecedented waves of peace and warmth washed over me, evoked by this gentle contact with a sleeping baby and for some reason, I no longer felt scared or hopeless. I myself drifted off a bit in the middle of the calamity, holding the baby's tiny hand all the while as if there was no tomorrow. When I woke up, though, the baby was nowhere to be seen. Groggily, I looked around and found his pacifier at the entrance of a small hole in the wall of the cave. Had the baby crawled his way out of the hole without anyone noticing it?

Without pausing to think about it, I squeezed my body out of that tiny hole and found myself standing in the night, away from all the wailing children. The sky was tinged with luminous, murky red, almost as if it was oozing with blood and I could not see even a hint of the flickering stars. Breathing heavily, I immediately commenced my search for the baby and heaved a huge sigh of relief when I found him beside a bramble bush.

For some reasons, he burst into tears when he saw me and I snatched him away from the thorns of bramble. "There, there," I said a bit awkwardly, not having dealt with the babies before, "don't cry, baby, you're all right now."

"Leave the baby on the ground," said a cold, chilling voice. "And step away."

I gasped, startled. My eyes fell on the sandals of the ninja who was standing few yards away from me and then slowly, tremulously, I raised my eyes to his face. His lips were twisted into a sick, malicious smile and in his hand he held a long, gleaming sword. "Run away, little girl, because if you don't, I intend to kill you and then drink your blood."

"W-we were just g-going back in." I stammered, almost incapacitated with fear. "W-We will just go and—"

"You are not taking that baby anywhere, little girl." he intoned. "After all, I lured him out here for a reason."

"You… You lured him out?" I sputtered, automatically clutching the small form of the baby to my chest. My eyes went to the enemy's forehead protector. "You are n-not from this village?"

"You are perceptive for your age, girl, I'll give you that. You are lucky that I am feeling a bit charitable today. Now run away before I kill you or worse, take you with me. After all, my master could do just as well with two hostages rather than one, even if you don't belong to some interesting clan."

 _Hostages?_ I swallowed. He intended to take the baby somewhere as a hostage and use him against our village? Unforgivable!

 _Run away_ , a voice whispered in my mind. _Why should you risk your life for a baby who is not your own brother, or even a close relative? Go save yourself. Surely it is the only prudent thing to do._

Just then the baby laughed unexpectedly in my arms and his mirth sent overwhelming jolts of some unfathomable emotion in my chest. He was _laughing_ , so enchantingly, so _innocently_ , even when an enemy was standing there with a sword raised to his neck. Moreover, he had fallen asleep holding my hand. How could I leave him alone?

 _Run away, you fool._

Slowly, I placed the baby on the ground and stood up, taking up a defensive stance. Though my legs still trembled violently, I felt a lot braver now that I had made the decision. I was a kunoichi-in-training so why was I even having such cowardly thoughts to start with? It was utterly disgraceful.

"Interesting," said the enemy ninja with vindictive relish. "You intend to fight me?"

 _Run away. You cannot possibly fight this ninja. He is an adult and moreover, he is frighteningly evil. What can you do in your situation when you are not even a genin? He will tear you to pieces. He will…_

"Hai!" I said with conviction, sealing my fate and without waiting for him to use that terrifying sword of his, I took out few kunais from my ninja gear and flung them at him. But the tremors in my hands refused to abate and the kunais glanced off the ground a foot away from him.

He laughed cruelly, uproariously at that. "How pathetic. You can't even aim at me. You are even more pitiful than most kids at your age."

Suddenly in my mind, I saw those haughty, confident onyx eyes I so abhorred and a feral wave of anger washed over me like a wildfire. _Itachi Uchiha_ … he would not just stand there like me and cower. He would do something. _He would…_ I flung a combo of Kunais and shurikens at him wildly and when he successfully managed to dodge them all, I lunged forward. Just as I attempted to punch him in the face, he kicked my abdomen with such force that daylights were knocked out of me. I went hurtling in the air like an arrow and landed in the thorny bramble bushes, coughing out blood. In daze, I extricated myself from the branches only to find that loathsome ninja creeping towards the little, helpless baby.

 _Run away now when he is distracted…_

"Don't go near the baby!" I snarled, coughing out some more blood. "Stay away from him or I will _impale you against a tree!_ "

"Empty threats. I think I need to teach a lesson to a stubborn brat like you after all." He began advancing on me now, slowly like a predator, enjoying my fear and misery. He grabbed me by my hair and twisted my head up until I was forced to look into his cruel, malignant eyes. "You don't seem to understand, you little squirt. I was giving you a way out but you are asking for it now. I have always hated the kids with the eyes like yours. Those stubborn, fierce, defiant eyes… It is very unbecoming." He slammed my face down on the ground and I coughed, dizzy with the blinding pain in my forehead. He wrapped his huge, hairy hand around my mouth and nose and began smothering me. "N-no!" I dug my teeth in his palm with all my might. " _Get off_!"

"That hurt, you brat!" He released me momentarily and I immediately scuttled away from him.

The ninja had stood up now and had finally decided to use his deadly sword that I had so feared. His eyes were no longer playful but pure evil.

Sobbing, I moved over and curled my body around the baby's little, delicate one, feeling his birdlike heart thrumming against my chest and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable. A sound of metal clanging against the metal filled my ears and I winced, waiting… waiting… But that infinitesimal moment seemed stretched too long and the impact never came.

" _Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu!"_

Suddenly, a blast of searing wind washed over me, making my hair flutter violently. I tightened my hold on the baby and cracked open my eyes to see an enormous ball of golden flames roaring in the night. The earlier ninja sat crouched on the other side of the flames, hissing furiously, with his arms crossed in front of him to block the fire. Finally, I raised my eyes to our savior, standing two feet in front of me, his familiar dark form silhouetted against the intense brightness of the fire, the fire that slowly abated and then flickered into the dark, heavy night.

The enemy ninja lowered his arms and greeted the newcomer with another odious grin. "It's an honor to meet you, the precocious heir to the Uchiha clan, Uchiha Itachi."

"You took advantage of the village's plight," responded Itachi in a strong, unwavering voice as he took out a kunai and raised it in front of him, "and tried to kidnap my little brother and hurt my friend." Suddenly, his expressions changed and became thunderous, promising revenge, "I will _kill_ you for this!"

"Clever, isn't it, to come after you when your parents are away?" the ninja drawled, "even if I say so myself. Well, mark my words, little dragon, your flames cannot harm me and no matter how big of a prodigy you are, you cannot take on a jounin such as me all alone. Kill me? Don't make me laugh. This arrogance of yours will definitely be the death of you someday. But I think I will kidnap you along with your little brother. After all, two Uchiha hostages are better than one, don't you think?"

Itachi ignored his rambling and turned to glance at me from over his shoulder, his eyes fierce, dark and sinister, as if there was a storm hidden inside of them. "Take my little brother and get away from here. I will _kill_ him and catch up with you."

"But…" I swallowed.

" _Go_!" he ordered.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," the ninja said in an annoyingly playful tune. "Earlier, I had made sure to implant explosives all over this place in case somebody decided to interrupt me and now that you have, I have just activated them all. One wrong move and _boom_ , you die."

I made a movement to stand when suddenly Itachi appeared right beside me and grabbed my shoulder in almost painful grip. "Don't move!" he hissed in my ear. "He is right. I can feel his chakra all over the place. Just stay still and take care of Sasuke."

"I…I didn't know he was your brother." I admitted.

The baby Uchiha Sasuke started laughing yet again, delighted as he took in the face of his elder brother. I watched, in wonder, as some of the ice melted from Itachi's eyes and warmth entered those dark, glacial orbs. "Don't worry," he said softly. "I will protect you, otouto. I will protect you both." As I looked at him, I thought that he was too young to be saying something like this. Nevertheless, I felt much more secure in his presence.

"I will help you fight," I declared and when he started to protest, I glared at him. "I won't just sit there and be protected by you, Uchiha."

"You are too injured to be proud right now," he intoned. "And if you joined me, it will leave Sasuke open to attacks. Stay with him… _Please_." There was pleading edge to his voice now which surprised me and I found myself relenting. He maintained a prolonged eye-contact with me until he was sure we understood each other and then disappeared, only to reappear in the same place where he had initially stood. With movements like lightning, he took out kunais and jumped in the air, throwing them at the enemy ninja with such speed that they seemed to disappear in the air. The enemy ninja, however, managed to dodge them except for the last one that got lodged in his shoulder.

Itachi smirked, pleased with himself as he flipped through the air but the moment he landed, there was a huge explosion. "Uchiha!" I yelled, anxiety trickling thickly into my voice.

"I am alright," he said quickly, holding his shoulder but I could see blood trickling down the sleeves of his shirt. He was injured. Taking out more weapons, he took another step, readying himself to fling the kunais, only to step into another hidden explosive tag in the ground. I winced as there was another loud explosion and after the smoke cleared, I was immensely relieved to find him still standing, albeit badly wounded. He was panting now. The foreign ninja started laughing maniacally.

"See, I told you, little dragon, you cannot evade my explosives if you can't see them. How many more attacks will survive until you drop dead? I, however, know exactly where I have placed my trap and so, you are at a great disadvantage right now. Can you see it now? You're finished, the so-called heir to Uchiha clan! You're weak, pathetic like any other."

Suddenly my heart was pounding heavily against my chest and my whole body was shaking with irrational fury. "Shut up!" I hissed, suddenly surprised to hear my voice under the given circumstances. "You shut up! He is strong. He is a prodigy! You know nothing about him!"

"And what are you, his little girlfriend?" the ninja sneered. "Perhaps, I should kill you and make him watch? You are unneeded anyway. My master just wants the Uchiha alive, not you."

I immediately regretted standing up for that insufferable Itachi Uchiha I had professed my eternal dislike to just the other day and suddenly felt alarmed to have hostile ninja's attention fully directed at me. _Stupid, stupid_ , I berated myself. Why couldn't I just keep my big mouth shut? How did it end up this way?

"Stay away from them!" Itachi growled and promptly stepped into another explosive.

"Stay where you are, idiot!" I screamed at his now barely standing form. "Don't move! Do you want to die? I will… I will think of something so just stay put."

But I knew we would all die in the end if this keeps up, unless one of us sprouted wings by some miracle and learnt to fly to escape the web of explosives beneath the ground. I didn't dare to move because even if I survived the explosion somehow, the baby in my arms wouldn't. I was also painfully aware of the fact that everybody else was busy fighting the nine-tail fox and that nobody would come to our rescue. We were doomed.

"Call those crows or something! Just stop moving around!"

"I haven't learnt to summon crows yet," he replied. "And just because you are afraid of crows, doesn't mean everyone else is as well."

As he spoke, I saw Itachi surreptitiously retracing footsteps of the foreign ninja and couldn't help admiring his ingenious mind. Now, if only… "That won't work, kid. I neutralize my explosives wherever I go and then activate them again with my chakra. So that means…"

As if on cue, there was another explosion and Itachi fell down on the ground with blood pouring down from the side of his forehead. "No!" I shrieked, no longer scared now, but angry, lividly angry. After all, I could not see him battered and defeated like that, the very same conceited, aristocratic, formidable Itachi that I had always hated and grudgingly acknowledged as a rival. **B** ut at the same time, I couldn't possibly just dump the baby and charge on the hostile ninja.

The said ninja was now standing right in front of me with his sword raised. As the last resort, I threw some kunais at him but he brushed them off easily, as if they were some mosquitoes. He was jounin, for heaven's sake! Of course we were no match for him… I stared helplessly at his sword glinting softly in the night...

And just then, the familiar figure of Itachi appeared between him and us. With a loud clang of metal against metal, his kunai met the enemy's sword. "How…?" hissed the foreign ninja. "You were supposed to be blasted off the face of this earth…" Suddenly, his eyes widened as he took in something on Itachi's face and lurched backward, completely withdrawing his sword now.

"It-achi…?" I whispered softly, fearfully.

He turned to look at me from over his shoulder and I gasped. Under his raven hair, his eyes were glowing red in the dark night, swirling with quiet intensity and rage, almost as if they were the eyes of some monster, terrifying and somehow ethereally, beguilingly beautiful at the same time. "Don't worry," his lips twisted into a disturbing smirk as he raised his hand to partly cover his face, his glowing eyes peeking at me from the space between his fingers. "I will finish up soon now that I have these eyes."

"Impossible," the ninja breathed out, his eyes full of fear. "How could you have awakened your sharingan at your age…?"

"I can see all your explosives now." Itachi declared dispassionately. "You will pay for hurting them."

There was no uncertainty in his movements now. Itachi moved gracefully, fluidly through the shower of hundred kunais and shurikens that glinted in the night like stars and soon had the enemy ninja pinned, held down by strings. "Fool!" the ninja snarled. "You might be able to evade the explosives now with those eyes of yours but say, what do you think will happen to your little brother and your girlfriend if I exploded them all together?"

Itachi froze.

" _No Itachi, don't do it!"_ I screamed with all my might even though I already knew there was no other option left.

He moved without hesitation then, quickly like thunder, gracefully like a panther and then slit open the throat of the enemy, letting his dark blood spurt out and tarnish the ground, his eyes gleaming crimson all the while. His aura was dark and his bloodlust was almost tangible. Were those eyes even of a human to begin with?

Little Sasuke began to cry loudly in the aftermath. Itachi sunk down to the ground, panting loudly, exhausted. I was still teetering over the edge, having narrowly escaped the death and having witnessed almost the impossible. Right in front of my eyes, a six year old child had killed a full-grown ninja who was probably in his late twenties and a jounin at that. Was this why Uchihas were so overwhelmingly feared? Was this why their kekkei genkai considered almost diabolical? Was this the infamous power of the sharingan?

I approached his shuddering form slowly, cautiously. "Are you alright?" I murmured, wondering why I was speaking so softly. Was it because his bloodlust was still reverberating in my bones? Or was it because the boy in front of me looked on the verge of shattering as well?

"Yeah," he responded. "What about you?"

"I am alright!" I said quickly with a bright smile. "I didn't do much so of course I am alright! And your baby brother is unscathed as well so you don't need to worry-"

"Don't do that." He said quietly, turning his face away.

"Don't do what?"

"Smile," he elucidated. "Don't smile if you don't mean it. You don't have to do that in front of me."

"I meant to smile, idiot!" I argued even as my lips quivered. "You saved me and your little brother. Of course, I am happy, and…"

Slowly, he lifted his face and his black tresses cascaded aside to reveal those still glowing, ominous eyes the color of blood. I couldn't help taking an inadvertent step back, tightening my hold on the baby Sasuke.

"You are terrified of my eyes, aren't you?"

"Of course not!" I declared emphatically and as I looked into the depths of those red orbs, I realized I meant it. I could see myself as an island in those crimson seas, a safe and secure island, protected by ardent and sincere tides by all sides. And no matter how he had done it, he had still saved his little brother and me and also protected the village altogether even if it meant sullying his hands at a tender age of six. He was true shinobi through and through, flesh and soul.

Of course, at that time, I wasn't able to comprehend the depth of his sacrifice and his selflessness but there was something in his red eyes that made me feel safe. "Actually, I am not terrified at all." This time, my voice didn't waver and my smile was earnest. "I am glad you have those eyes."

I stood right in front of him this time and then held out my two fingers. For a while, he stared at them, blinking dumbly and then, his eyes dissolved into tranquil, comforting black and the corners of his mouths lifted into barest hints of a genuine smile. "Can I drop my guard now?"

"Up to you."

He lifted his two fingers and hooked them lightly around mine into a seal of reconciliation.

* * *

 **A/N:** I am sorry if the fighting scene was too long but it was necessary for their development. Also, I had to drive Itachi on edge to have his Sharingan awakened and that was why his 'foolish, little brother' had to be there at the scene.

Please tell me what you think!

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

 _We were like astronauts,_

 _Dreaming on the moon,_

 _Telescoping the stars_

 _Exploring the blue skies, and_

 _Searching for the moments_

 _That took our breath away._

 _-R.M. Drake_

* * *

A dark lull of aftermath shrouded the village like a gray, evening fog. The medic teams arrived and quickly began patching up the injured. Itachi's parents also reached the scene soon and instead of being horrified that their six-year-old boy had killed a jounin single-handedly, Itachi's father slapped him on his back and smiled proudly. "That's my boy."

Itachi's mother, Mikoto Uchiha, however looked at him sadly. "I am glad you all are alright," she said tentatively, holding her baby to her chest. She crouched down in front of Itachi and engulfed him in a hug. "I am sorry… so very sorry we weren't there to protect you both and you had to…" she gulped. "You were forced to take life…"

"And such a clean kill it was!" Itachi's father exclaimed, obviously impressed as he observed the corpse of the enemy ninja. "Well done, boy. You didn't spill that much blood and you look so calm right now even after…"

" _Fugaku_!" Mikoto said admonishingly.

"And not only that, you managed to activate your kekkei genkai as well. You have already surpassed every Uchiha, perhaps even your ancestors. Needless to say, I am proud of you."

I couldn't keep the repulsed expressions off my face, unable to believe what my ears were hearing. If I had come home with somebody's blood splattered over my face at this age, my grandmother would probably have a cow. But then again, wasn't that what being a shinobi was all about, to be a silent killing machine? To be able to kill cleanly at such young age did call for celebration, I guess.

"I don't deserve all your praises." Itachi said modestly, his eyes impassive. "Sasuke wouldn't have been alive if it wasn't for Fukuro Miyuki."

I glared at him darkly, not wanting attention of his parents directed at me. I wasn't sure if I would be praised for 'assisting' Itachi in his kill or if I would be held in contempt for not having killed anyone at the same age as Itachi's.

"Of course," said Mikoto. "I am extremely indebted to you, Miyuki-chan. I think it is about time I pay a visit to Nisshoku shrine with a basket. How rude of me not to…"

Fugaku Uchiha was looking at me oddly. "Fukuro Miyuki, is it?"

I nodded jerkily.

"Your uncle is dead, girl. He was killed earlier by the nine-tail fox."

…..

It took a month for Konoha to recover from the nine-tail attack and for our classes in the ninja academy to recommence. I was glad for the return of some semblance of normality, to fall back into routine as I donned on my usual cobalt-blue hakama that morning along with a white shirt with distinctive Fukuro crest at the back. A blue hour-glass in a circle My eyes were still washed out and looked more dull-brown instead of the usual green as I looked myself in the mirror. Scowling, I vigorously brushed my unruly dark waves and pulled my hair up in a ponytail, letting few loose bangs frame my face.

"Hurry up, Miyuki! You are going to be late."

"Coming, Obaa-san."

As I slid open the wooden door, the familiar, repulsive smell assailed my nose and I almost gagged. "I am not eating that again!" I grumbled. "Every morning it is cabbage! It makes me retch!"

"Ungrateful brat!" My grandmother thundered. "Stop this insolence at once. Cabbage is good for your mental health. You will eat what I prepared for you or you will go to academy empty stomach."

"I will go empty stomach then!"

"Come back this instant and eat your cabbage!"

"Not happening!" I quickly slipped out of the kitchen's door and slammed it shut as grandmother's nagging droned on in the background. When my uncle was alive, he would prepare me delicious breakfast of miso-soup and onigiri, but he wasn't there with us, not anymore. I felt bad whining about food to grandmother when her own son had died just a month ago, but the thing was, I missed my uncle too, terribly so and besides, my grandmother was far stronger than I could ever be. During the funeral, she had sat, wearing black with her back ramrod straight, her eyes fierce and unyielding, even though I knew she must have been breaking from inside. When Itachi's parents had approached her to express their condolences, she had just glowered at them, almost as if she wished to slay them with her eyes. "Don't say you are sorry for that fool's death if you do not mean it!" She had all but hissed at them. "I detest hypocrisy and pretense above all us."

I had always been an untreatable eavesdropper, thanks to my unbridled curiosity about everything in general and decided to utilize my skills of snooping yet again.

"You are right, Fukuro-sama." Fugaku Uchiha was saying. "I hardly knew your son but nevertheless, I can understand what you must have been going through. You see, I also have two sons…"

"Bless you!" My grandmother had leered at that, her green eyes, so much like mine, were acidic and sharp like blades, unlike mine. "Well, Fugaku Uchiha, I am warning you. You won't get away with what you did, not for long. I will dig out all the necessary evidence and I will make sure you and your clan is held accountable for it, even if it kills me."

"I do not understand what you are talking about."

"You know exactly what I am talking about. Now be gone!"

I had no idea what she had been talking about but I also knew that she would never bother enlightening me even if I asked her so I had decided to forget about their strange conversation for a while.

Presently, I stood in front of my late Uncle's portrait, trimmed with black ribbon, next to my father's and my mother's. I stared at the kind contours of his face until the scent of incense became too thick and then wiped off the tears from my eyes. After all, ninjas weren't supposed to cry. My Uncle used to say that humans should cry whenever they felt like it but then again, he hadn't been a ninja. So could ninjas be even considered humans? Suddenly, Itachi red eyes flashed in my mind. Was I training to lose my humanity?

I climbed down long staircase of the shrine, pondering this.

"You are late."

The familiar voice startled me and I looked up to see Itachi looking back at me lazily from where he was perched over the top of the enormous torri-gate of the Nisshoku shrine. _What a show-off_ , I thought. "What are you doing all the way up there?" I asked dryly, ignoring him and resuming my walk.

"Waiting for you."

"Why would you be waiting for me, Uchiha?" Before I had taken a single step, he appeared right before me, much to my bemusement. _Show-off_.

"Back to the surname base, are we now?"

"I don't remember calling you by your first name."

"But you did," he argued smoothly as he fell into step next to me. "I can still recall you saying it and not only that, I remember you defending me quite fervently as well."

"I think," I said, blushing for some reason, "that your ears were playing tricks on you."

"I think not."

"Look," I whirled around to face him now. "I called your name in the heat of moment so that doesn't count."

His eyebrow arched up. " _Heat of moment_ ," he repeated, smirking and it did sound a bit ludicrous coming from his mouth.

"What I am trying to say is," I said hotly, blushing even more, "that just because you saved my life and I saved your brother's, doesn't mean we should be friends."

"Of course not," he agreed, completely unperturbed. "We can't be friends just because you feel entitled to be my friend."

I was a bit mystified by how talkative he could be. I had always thought he was not the one to indulge in useless chatter but here he was, not only instigating conversation but going as far as to annoy me to coax some response out of me. "I thought you had agreed not to force me into becoming your friend," I said out loud, trying to keep my voice as polite as possible.

"I am not forcing you into anything."

"Then why are you following me?"

"We both happen to be going the same way," he pointed out wryly, "I can't help following you."

"You have an answer ready for everything, don't you?" I grumbled, kicking a pebble.

"Very much so, I am afraid." I could almost feel him grinning and resisted an urge to turn around and stick out my tongue but I knew I shouldn't encourage him. We didn't speak after that but his quiet footsteps in harmony to mine, over the crunching autumn leaves were strangely comforting and filled me up with deep sense of contentment. It was almost ironic how peaceful the presence of a murderer could be. Sparrows and skylarks twittered all around us as they looked at us curiously from the branches of the spruce and larch trees. Soon we had left behind the frilly canopy of trees over the mountains and entered into the premises of the bustling village. "Uchiha," I said sharply. "Is there any reason for you to be following me into the Dango shop?"

He stared back at me with those innocent black orbs. "You are already late from the academy."

"Yeah, but I haven't had my breakfast." I muttered. "You go ahead to the academy. I wouldn't want to make the 'perfect' prodigy late from the class."

When I got out of the shop, holding my delicious-looking dangos on the stick, I was more than just miffed to find him casually leaning against the wall, apparently waiting for me. "What are you playing at?"

"I just don't understand," he confessed, looking genuinely nonplussed now. "Shouldn't you be _craving_ my company?"

I choked on my Dango and began coughing violently. "Are you ok?" He asked and I glared at him in response with my watery eyes.

"Why should I be—" _cough_ "craving—" _cough_ "your stupid company?"

"Because you are mature for your age too." He shrugged. "We both are. In your case, it is probably because you belong to the Fukuro clan, known for their early wisdom. So shouldn't you want to be in presence of someone who can actually hold, shall we say, ' _intelligen_ t' conversations with you?"

"Are you calling yourself _intelligent,_ Uchiha?" I deadpanned. "Just how arrogant can you get?"

"I didn't mean that," he said quickly.

"Oh I forgot, you probably meant to call yourself a _genius_ or _legendary_. How stupid of me to assume that just 'intelligent' could apply to you when…"

"I meant that I thought you were somewhat _intelligent_ for your age," he clarified as a flicker of annoyance flashed in those dark eyes. "Although, now I am having second thoughts."

"Well, I have friends I can hold 'intelligent' conversation with, thank you very much." I bit on my dango angrily and quickened my pace, pointedly dismissing him but he caught up with me.

"That Inuzuka girl?" he said. "I didn't know you were holding 'intelligent' conversations with her. I thought you both were always busy plotting useless ways of defeating me."

"I _will_ defeat you, one day!" I declared emphatically, finally facing him. I knew I didn't sound very convincing, chewing on the dango but I hoped that my eyes conveyed the message. "You will see. Just wait."

"I _am_ waiting."

His eyes were laughing. He was making fun of me yet again. I whirled around dramatically and stomped away, imagining smashing dangos all over that flawless, conceited face of his.

"If you want to defeat me, you should observe me closely and look for my weaknesses so that you can use them against me." He ignored my dumbfounded expressions and continued. "You can pretend to be my friend while looking for the opening at the same time and when you finally catch me off-guard, you attack. That is the ninja way after all. Don't look so surprised."

"You—" I sputtered out, gawking at him, wondering if my ears were hearing right. "Is that what you are doing right now, pretending to be my friend and trying to catch me off-guard?"

"Of course not," he said smoothly. "I have no need of doing all that just to defeat you. If I had wanted to defeat you, I could do it any time, without any preparations beforehand."

"You—!" This time I could feel the familiar fire building inside a pit of my stomach, a feral urgency taking over me like a hurricane, a strong desire to smash his nose into his face and punch out all his teeth and.. _. Walk away_ , I told myself. With as much dignity as I could muster, I deliberately quickened my pace, flushing with indignation.

"Sorry." He sounded genuinely repentant. "I just meant to show you that I don't have any ill-intention towards you. You are always so groundlessly distrustful of me, even now, even when I saved your life..."

"Shut up!" I said through gritted teeth. "Or I am going to _pulverize_ you."

"I said I was sorry, Fukuro, though I have to admit you are quite impressive at giving threats—"

"I am not going to do it that way."

"Do what?"

"I am not," I clarified, still clenching my teeth, "going to pretend to be your friend and then backstab you. This is not my ninja way. I am going to defeat you fair and square. Just wait and see for yourself!"

He looked surprised at that and stared at me with those searching eyes. And as I stood there glaring at him defiantly, those fathomless black orbs of his softened and he laughed softly. That was the first time I had seen him laugh and the effect was mesmerizing, like drops of golden sunlight after an extended cloud-cover, so much that I could only gawk at him dumbly. "Just as I thought, you do surprise me, _a lot_ , way more than anyone else."

I wasn't sure whether to take it as a compliment or to take offense. "Just what do you mean?"

"Most people have been predictable and so tedious for me so far, but you are not one of them."

When I still continued to scowl at him uneasily, he said, rather wearily, "I meant it as a compliment so stop looking so hostile."

"You suck at giving compliments, you know that?" Surprisingly, I couldn't stay antagonistic towards him for long but that meant that my antagonism was now directed at myself for my ability to forget his obvious overconfidence just because he had given me some lousy compliment that didn't even sound like one. Nevertheless, I let him follow me to the academy that day without further disagreements.

It sort of became our daily ritual. Most days, I would find him sauntering next to me with his hands in his pockets on the way to academy and then back home and although I had found his presence almost grating to my nerves before, I slowly began to warm up to the music of his calm, yet decisive footsteps beside me over the fallen leaves. He was not that terrifying and intense Itachi with the eyes color of blood that I had seen on the day of the nine-tail attack. He was a different Itachi, compassionate one, almost kind under his tough, aloof exterior. I had misjudged him terribly; he was not a bully and certainly not a coward. It came to the point that I began looking forward to seeing him every day.

One day, I even offered him the dango I had been eating for breakfast almost every day to escape that atrocious cabbage. I immediately regretted it though when he looked positively repulsed. "You expect me to eat that?"

"I already said that I won't backstab you so don't worry, it is not poisoned." I took a bite. "See?"

"I know it isn't." he snapped.

"Then what is your problem? Are you on some special diet? Are you worried that it will make you fat?"

"Hardly."

I was getting tired of his antics. "Just eat it, Uchiha. I assure you, your tongue won't shrivel off and fall to your feet."

"But it is _sweet_." He looked almost thunderstruck.

"Fine!" I snapped, fuming up. "Have you ever even tasted it before?"

"Of course not. Why would I want to—"

"Then you have no right to act like that." I almost shoved the dango under his nose then. "Eat it first. If you still disliked it after a bite, you can go on acting all disgusted of my favorite food. I won't mind then."

"Fair enough." He scowled at the dango stick in my hand almost murderously before wrapping his hand around mine and taking one in his mouth. For some reasons, I was acutely aware of his hand on mine.

"Too... _sweet_." He gasped out, wrinkling his nose and flashing me a deathly glare almost as if I had force-fed him wolfsbane from my grandmother's apothecary.

I couldn't help it. I found myself laughing out loud, much to his annoyance. For some reasons, those expressions on his face were priceless and too comical not to be laughed at. Silently, I vowed to break him out of his distaste for the sweet things.

The distance between us was gradually becoming smaller although I knew that a certain distance would remain no matter how much we bickered or no matter how many 'intelligent' conversations we held. We both were introspective and had a space where we wouldn't let anyone encroach on and moreover, he was an Uchiha and I was a Fukuro. We were destined to never meet, like two parallel rails of the railway track, even if we kept running in the same direction for eternity.

Meanwhile, my grandmother remained blissfully unaware of my liaison with Uchiha Itachi. " _Uchihas_ ," she growled one day standing in the ancient Fukuro library hidden away in the Nisshoku shrine, "are the blood-thirsty monsters who only know how to fight. For generations, they have been rearing children who would grow up to be heartless assassins someday."

I yawned, having heard her ravings against the Uchihas many times before.

"What was that?" She removed her gaze from some scroll to glare at me. "Why are you slouching all over the place? Do you think your classes with me are not important? Who, do you think, will teach you all the secret Fukuro jutsus? You won't learn them at that academy, girl, so pay attention!"

"But you haven't taught me anything, Obaa-san." I complained. "It's been an hour and you are still busy cursing those _Uchihas._ "

"Oh well, forgive me for that." She said, waving her hand. "I tend to get a bit carried away when I start talking about our mortal enemies. It is just that they make my blood boil… On well, as I was saying that unlike Uchihas, Fukuro techniques are not always about harming someone. That is what makes us different from most if the clans in the land of fire."

"How?" I forced my heavy eyes to stay open and bit back another yawn lest she started nagging me for being so sleepy.

"I am going to teach you how to preserve memories."

I repressed another yawn. "Preserve me-memories?" I repeated huskily. "How is that going to help me in my ninja missions?"

"Watch it, girl!" Grandmother's glare was hot enough to instantly melt a mountain of a glacier. "You are sounding more and more like those damn Uchihas day by day. Didn't I just tell you that we Fukuros do not only live to fight and kill? We have lots of other things we need to concern ourselves with. There is much more to life than fighting and killing."

"Yeah, yeah." I was exhausted from my earlier shuriken training and she expected me to listen to her dreary lectures attentively?

"Miyuki!" she snapped dangerously, making me jump. "Do you want to be caned? I am pretty sure that Uchiha boy is exhausting himself right now, learning his clan's nonsensical jutsus and look at you! At this rate, you are never going to surpass him let alone become a Hokage. It is bad enough that he has already activated his kekkei genkai… and I don't see you activating yours any time soon."

"But learning a jutsu to preserve memories isn't going to help me defeat him!" I argued hotly. "I need to learn some jutsu that will take him down in one go and—"

"Shut up! Do you even understand the importance of the jutsu I am going to teach you? Look around you, Miyuki. All these thousand scrolls around you have thousand memories hidden in them, those ancient secrets and legends long forgotten; secrets that hold so much power that it will addle those narrow, power-thirsty minds of the Uchihas. Don't you know our clan's slogan?"

" _Wisdom is the mightiest sword and the time is our greatest ally_." I recited automatically, probably having being forced to memorize this sentence the moment I had innocently started saying 'Okaa-san' from my crib.

"Exactly!" Her eyes were now alight with a mad gleam, her salt and pepper hair almost wraithlike in the dim lantern light. "No matter how physically powerful your opponent is, you can overpower him if you are more knowledgeable than him. Never forget that."

I looked around the library now with newfound interest. Eerie, golden lantern-light casted deep shadows here and there, like dark phantoms sitting in ambush and millions of the scrolls seemed to be whispering at me, almost seductively. Millions of secrets surrounded me, I realized suddenly, feeling almost light-headed. Millions of secrets waiting to be divulged, millions of memories, the truths centuries old, in the same air I was breathing in… It was too much for my forever curious mind to take.

"Now then, I think I need to show you this certain memory as an introduction to spark your interest." She took out a certain scroll and unrolled it very meticulously as if it was something invaluable. There was a single rune etched over it. She made complex series of hand-signs and the rune began to glow and waft off in the air. I watched with bated breath as the rune dissolved completely into thin tendrils of smoke. "Breathe in it," she was saying softly. "Yes, deep breaths. That's it."

And then I was floating in the memory, in the time when I was still a baby. It seemed to be my father's memory. There was sunlight, so much sunlight, so much warmth… I could barely recognize the Nisshoku shrine's garden in this memory, filled with those resplendent roses and jasmines and freesia. My mother was laughing but her eyes weren't green like mine… She was holding me and I was so little, like the baby Sasuke, with dazzling emerald-green eyes and few wisps of hair over my head. It was too beautiful to be a memory. Perhaps, it was a dream… Yes, that's probably what it was.

And then I was back in the Nisshoku library with torrent of tears streaming down my face. That intense longing to see my parent's faces just _once more_ was shuddering through me like waves of the oceans. It had been too cruel to show me a glimpse of that memory, of what could have been, of the time that would never come again.

"Rule number 25," my grandmother enunciated softly, "A shinobi must never show his tears."

"Easy for you to say!" I shot back. "You never cry, not even when your own sons died!"

She stared at me plaintively with those large, green eyes and for the first time, I realized that there must be an ocean of tears hidden in their depths. How many times have shinobis cried without tears? What happens to all those unshed tears?

Finally, I stopped hiccupping and wiped off the tears. "I am ready, now." I said. "Teach me the Memory-preserving jutsu, Obaa-san."

* * *

Please let me know what you think and big thanks to all those who took their time out to read, review or favorite this story! ;)

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

" _She felt like the moon; terrified of the sky, but completely in love with the way it held the stars."_

 _-R.M. Drake_

* * *

Itachi graduated from my year a month later, thanks to his prodigious skills, which meant that we no longer could see each other in the same classroom. But that was alright since I still had our walks to look forward to along with our occasional training sessions together. I avoided interacting with him in front of others, mainly because I still found the prospect of associating with the much feared Uchiha clan a bit daunting. Not only did it catch too much attention, I also didn't want to deal with Itachi's crazy fan-girls who had threatened to pull out my hair if they ever saw me with him. Naturally, I could have easily scared them off by beating the daylights out of them, but as I said, I didn't like catching too much attention. Itachi had, after all, gotten really famous after the nine-tail attack. All the instructors, especially Yagari-sensei couldn't seem to stop singing praises of him, much to my annoyance, especially when he yelled in the class one day, "Fukuro Miyuki! Would you kindly refrain from sleeping and drooling in the class? Learn something from Uchiha Itachi. He would never..."

Of course, people knew that I had been present at the scene too but since I hadn't _killed_ anyone, I didn't get as much glory. But that was alright since I didn't want my grandmother to find out about my friendship with him.

"You haven't been training with me all that much, Miyuki," Hana complained one day.

I immediately felt guilty and having to lie made me feel guiltier. "That is because Obaa-san is supervising my training and she expects me to be home early every day."

"Poor you. I really feel for you but— Hey, Haimarus!"

And her three dogs had once again run off to meet their friend Itachi Uchiha, ditching the training in the middle. "Those traitors," she said bitterly. "Dogs are supposed to be loyal and all of them are, except mine!"

I couldn't help laughing out loud. "Maybe their loyalties lie with Itachi Uchiha."

"Oh well, even at his age, he has already become the village hero after all," she said. "Why would they like the old boring me?"

...

"My mother wants you to have dinner with us tonight, Fukuro," he said once as we were heading back home.

"Are you sure?" I asked a bit warily, remembering how my grandmother had lashed out on his parents at my Uncle's funeral. "I mean, doesn't she hate me?"

"Hate you?" He looked surprised. "Why would she hate you? You saved my brother's life."

"Yeah, well, I kind of did, didn't I?" I gave out a sheepish laugh.

"So?"

"So what?"

"So are you coming or not?"

I heaved a sigh. "Of course, I will come since you asked so _nicely_ and all. Also, I don't think I can go home and eat grandmother's horrible cabbage again for another night. It will be a nice change."

"Fine." Suddenly his dark eyes were alight with a mischievous gleam, the very same one I had come to know and fear because it always led to dangerous consequences.

"What?" I asked, a bit anxiously. "Stop smirking like that. It is creepy. What is on your mind?"

"Nothing."

"Spit it out, Uchiha."

"You will see."

"Are you…" I swallowed. "I hope you are not planning to poison the dinner and murder me tonight." Uchihas and Fukuros were, after all, considered mortal enemies.

"Please. I will find some more creative way of murdering you."

"Good. Because I would like to be stabbed in the front, not in the back. I hate backstabbers."

"Then you must hate all the shinobis," he said suddenly; earlier lightness from his eyes was gone, replaced by icy somberness.

"I…I just don't like the idea of killing someone when they least expect it," I admitted, suddenly a bit intimidated by the intensity in his eyes. "I think everyone should be able to see death when it comes their way."

"You have got high morals," his voice was sardonic now with undertones of something I didn't comprehend, "for someone who is training to become a kunoichi. Essence of being a ninja is to be able to let go of your morals to protect the village at all costs."

I was scared of his dark, dark eyes, so much that I would have even preferred the sharingan over them, anything but those black eyes with no pupils, like eye of a maelstrom, something I couldn't read or fathom. Yes, he was a shinobi first. He would always be a shinobi first and then a family member or a friend. I understood that, standing there in the cold, wintry afternoon, looking at him, with our breaths steaming in the air in front of us. "Whatever," I said, hating the direction this conversation was taking. "Just… Just don't backstab me. Tell me beforehand, ok?"

"Why so serious?" That lightness in his eyes was back, much to my relief. "Why would I backstab you? I have no reason to. You are my… _ally,_ are you not?"

I sighed. He thought just like a shinobi whose world was divided only into enemies or allies. I would have preferred the word ' _friend_ ' but you didn't always get what you wanted, especially not with Uchiha Itachi. "Yeah," I said. "I am your ally."

The Uchiha manor looked as forbidding and beautiful as ever when I entered through its gates. Those tastefully manicured hedges and koi-ponds and Uchiha symbol engraved over every wall—it was a bit too fancy, impersonal and rather cold for my liking. I had come to like wildness of the Nisshoku shrine and the freedom it represented. For some reasons, it felt like it would be suffocating to live here in the Uchiha manor and I couldn't help feeling pity for Itachi.

As I entered the premises of the kitchen, I suddenly realized why Itachi had been smirking secretly on and off then. "Miyuki-chan!" Mikoto sang happily as she took in my awkward form, standing there in my usual, old-fashioned hakama. " _Irasshai_! Do come in and take a seat."

I let her lead me towards the seat and surreptitiously sent a deathly glare in the smirking Itachi Uchiha's direction who was already sitting at the table.

"I swear you have grown since the last time I saw you. I think you are taller than Itachi-kun…"

"By two inches," I told her, savoring the small victory. At least I did surpass him in the height department.

He looked unfazed by that.

"I prepared all your favorite food," she said, all the while wearing that bright, affectionate smile. "Itachi told me that you are quite fond of _cabbages_."

I almost gagged but forced my lips into a big fake smile. "Yes. Yes, I am," I said faintly, gritting my teeth as I saw Itachi smirking from my peripheral vision. So, he was still the sadistic bully that I had initially thought he was _. Wait till I get him alone_ , I thought. _I will knock all his teeth out_.

"So I made you _cabbage_ pancakes, _cabbage_ soup and _cabbage_ -stuffed onigiri," His mother went on brightly over the clattering of the dishes in the kitchen. "I am pretty sure you will _love_ them all. I don't mean to brag but I have been told that I am a great cook."

"I am sure it is true," I said politely as I took my seat in front of that intolerable Itachi who was radiating waves of smugness now.

"Okaa-san," he said, holding my murderous gaze. "You forgot to make her _cabbage juice_. It is her favorite"

"Oh silly me!" She immediately looked a bit apologetic. "I will whip it up right away…"

"That," I choked out, "won't be necessary. I think any other fruit juice will do, thank you."

"You are very kind, Miyuki-chan," she sighed and then went on chattering in her bright, chirpy voice. "Itachi's father is not home today. I am afraid he is on a classified mission."

"That is alright, Mikoto-san." I didn't like Itachi's father much anyway. Itachi's mother was however, another story.

"But he and I—we both are very grateful that you saved our little Sasuke's life."

"Err, you are welcome."

"I had thought about inviting your grandmother too but I was afraid she wouldn't want to come. That is a shame, really. We are neighbors, after all."

"Please don't mind her. She is like that with everyone."

"No need to say that. I understand, Miyuki-chan. Here, have some cabbage onigiri."

I forced myself to swallow the hideous cabbage onigiri and as I looked at mounds of cabbage rolls and cabbage pancakes waiting there for me to eat them, I couldn't help but wonder why I was being tortured like this. That Itachi Uchiha was utterly heartless but thinking of the most painful ways to pay him back cheered me up to an extent as I chewed on the cabbage.

Itachi, however, didn't seem to mind the cabbage and even took second helpings.

Just then little Sasuke appeared, all dimples and pink cheeks. He had grown a bit, his hair was already spiking up at the back of his head and he was holding a small plastic toy shuriken with rounded edges that he kept sucking at. "Bad Sasuke," Mikoto chided him softly. "Don't put it in your mouth. You will catch germs."

In response, Sasuke began to stuff the whole toy shuriken in his mouth frantically, blinking at his mother.

"Bad habit, Otouto," said Itachi as he casually pulled out the toy shuriken from the baby Sasuke's mouth, heedless of the drools.

" _Nee-Nee-shan_!" Sasuke uttered as he happily clung to his brother's leg.

A smile of genuine affection touched Itachi's face and he reached out with his index-finger to poke Sasuke in the forehead.

Mikoto smiled fondly at her sons. "You would think that your baby would say 'Okaa-san' first but the first words that came out of Sasuke's mouth were 'Nee-san'. Sometimes, your mother feels jealous of you, Itachi-kun."

For a while, I could only gawk at Itachi sharing this precious moment with his little brother and his mother and couldn't help feeling like a trespasser. Finally, I understood the reason behind the ferocity and bloodlust in those red eyes of his I had seen on the day he had valiantly killed the foreign ninja. If I had a family like this, I would want to protect them too, at all costs, even if it meant tainting my hands as well.

Vaguely, I remembered my father's memory that my grandmother had shown to me the other day. Could my life have been the same as Itachi's too? If my mother was alive, would she be like Itachi's mother as well? Who would wait for me to come home and say ' _Okaeri_ ' to me with that gentle, affectionate smile? Although I appreciated my grandmother's efforts in raising me, she was never too affectionate the way my Uncle had been. Perhaps, I was just starving for affection. Perhaps, I would have liked to be a part of this family, even if it was an _Uchiha_ family… No, what the hell was I thinking?

"Miyuki-chan, are you ok?" I could see the concern lurking in Mikoto's eyes.

"Of course!" I surreptitiously forced away the tears that were clogged in my throat and smiled at her.

"Oh," she looked unconvinced but thankfully decided not to pursue it, "here hold my chibi-Sasuke. It will make you feel better."

She dumped the baby in my laps and before I could respond, little Sasuke had already taken fistful of my hair and began tugging at it relentlessly. "Ow!"

He gurgled, letting out a delighted laugh at my obvious pain and after a while, had me laughing too with his endearing antics.

For a long time we sat there teaching the baby how to say "Miyuki" but the only words that came out of Sasuke's mouth were "Nee-shan." Finally, exhausted Sasuke fell asleep in my laps again. I never felt as tranquil and warm as I did then, talking with Mikoto about anything and everything and Itachi adding his quirky remarks to the conversation every now and then. I was almost sorry when it was time to leave.

"I will walk you home."

"I don't need you to walk me home, when my home is just few meters away."

"Yes you do. What if the crows came and attacked you? Who will protect you then?"

I sighed. He was never going to let me forget that. "You have guts showing me your face after what you did, Uchiha."

His eyes widened with sham innocence. "What did I do?"

" _Cabbages_ ," I growled. "Now run away before I gouge those eyes of yours out."

My threat seemed to fall on deaf ears. "Well, I just did that to teach you empathy."

" _Empathy_?" I said incredulously.

"You force me to eat dango every day. Well, that is how I feel when you do that."

"Dango is not same as cabbage!"

"I happen to like cabbage," he countered stubbornly.

"Fine, then you can come to my home and eat all the cabbage my Obaa-san makes every day."

"Tempting," he said dryly, "but I don't think I would like to be torn apart by the wolves so I'll pass."

"I won't come to your home again if you are going to feed me cabbages!"

"You will." That confidence and surety in the inflection of his voice irritated me a bit but I knew he was right.

We lapsed into comfortable silence after that. The pearlescent orb of the moon was bright and whole that night, not unlike the way I felt. It shone with subtle majesty and pride as it spilled its silvery moonlight over the ink-painted world. There was another moon, there floating in the koi-pond and then another one, shimmering there in Itachi's eyes. Everything had their own moons at night, I realized. I wondered if he could see the moons in my eyes too. His moon was peaceful, but at the same time enigmatic, hiding many secrets. I wondered how my moon looked like.

"Why were you crying earlier?" Itachi asked suddenly, bluntly, holding my gaze with his penetrating one so that I couldn't look away.

"I wasn't," I said too quickly. "Your eyes must playing tricks on you."

"Don't lie to me." Who was I kidding? He was too perceptive.

"It wasn't anything really," I forced myself to laugh. "Just that... I suddenly missed my parents when I saw your family. You see, they were killed three years back in the third shinobi world war. And I missed my uncle too." I wondered why I couldn't stop myself from talking; his eyes seemed to hold strange authority over me which was pathetic since he wasn't even using Sharingan. "But I am alright now. You don't need to worry."

He didn't say he was sorry or that he understood my pain and I was glad for that. He was just telling me silently that he was there for me. I could read those unsaid words swimming in his eyes. "You can come to my home whenever you feel like it."

"To eat that cabbage?" I laughed and then suddenly sobered up. "Say, how did you feel when you killed that ninja?"

He didn't reply for a while and looked a bit perplexed, as if surprised by my directness. "I... only felt relief. I thought that now that he is dead, he won't be able to hurt Sasuke or the village, or you."

"That's all?"

Silence.

"Do you regret it... taking a life?"

"No."

His voice was dispassionate and his eyes chilling, defiant even as if he didn't care if I thought bad of him or judged him for that. He wanted me to accept him the way he was, without any pretense.

"I understand," I said at last. "Sometimes I want to kill them too, those who took lives of my parents and my Uncle. You are very lucky to have a family like that."

The moons in his eyes were warm and sincere now. "Let's go," he said. "Your Obaa-san is waiting."

….

He graduated from the academy when he was seven years old, with flying colors. Everybody seemed to be in awe of him, everybody that is, except for me. Although I was secretly really proud of him, there was a competitive streak inside of me that made me feel a bit envious. I was a bit sad that I still wasn't even close to surpassing him. Also, I was disappointed that our walks together would have to end.

"Congratulations, for graduating before me!" I told him with a big smile on our last walk back home from academy. "Naturally, I have a present for you."

"Not again," he muttered.

"And here it is, the delicious Dangos from Konoha's most renowned Dango shop!" I shoved the three sticks in his face. "Eat them with relish! You deserve them!"

"That is my _punishment_ for graduating before you, isn't it?" He took a long-suffering sigh.

"Of course not!" I declared emphatically, still smiling vibrantly. "I have already surpassed you a long time ago." He looked baffled. "See, I am _taller_ than you!"

"Not anymore," he said smoothly as he took one dango in his mouth.

"What?"

He scooted closer to me till he was standing an inch away from me, shoulder to shoulder. "See, we are of the same height now."

"No way!" I exclaimed, horrorstruck. When did that happen? Had I stopped growing? I stared at him; he had changed a bit, no doubt, grown taller and his hair was longer. But the biggest difference was the sparkling new Konoha's headband that sat proudly over his forehead and that immediately made him look a lot more mature, well, way more than me.

"What?" he said.

I just smiled wistfully. "Nothing. It just suits you. This headband. You look cool."

He smirked. "Work hard so you will get one too."

"Oh I will. Soon."

Just then the gray clouds that had been surreptitiously gathering on the sky decided to pelt us with unprecedented rain. "Let's go!" Itachi grabbed my wrist and started running.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"To find some shelter."

But we could find no shelter over the mountains against the rain. Unexpectedly, I began to laugh, inhaling in the heady scent of wet soil, loving the feel of muddy water sloshing against my feet, the cool, fresh wind that washed over my face as I ran with my hand in Itachi's. There was a bizarre urgency in the air then, as if the whole world had suddenly come alive, as if it was getting reborn.

"Stop!" I called to Itachi.

"Why are you laughing?" Itachi asked, half scowling, half amused as he heeded my request.

"We are soaked anyway now," I told him. "Might as well enjoy the rain."

"But why were you laughing?" he pursued.

"Oh, that is because I love sudden rains."

"That's… weird."

"I know."

"Because you seem to share this interest with me."

We stood there under the rain for what seemed like an eternity even if it was only for an hour. It was strange how the children always assumed that the happiness lasted forever and under that heavy, moonstone sky, I really thought that I could stay with Itachi like that forever _._ Time didn't matter as the rain continued to descend down from the sky with each of our cherished memories trapped in every sparkling raindrop. They surrounded us and washed over us and we smiled and we were happy.

"I lied," I told Itachi when the rain finally lulled to a soft drizzle.

He blinked the raindrops off his eyelashes and ran his hand through his disheveled wet hair. "When?"

"Those Dangos were not your present. That was your punishment."

"I figured that much."

"I will now give you your real present for graduating from academy." I smiled wistfully as I said that and then reached into the folds of my bag to take out a scroll.

"A scroll?" he said, a line of bafflement forming in his forehead as he took the scroll from me.

"Not just any scroll, _idiot_." I bound my arms over my chest and blushed a little, hoping the rain would hide it. "It is a special…. _memory-preserving_ scroll."

"…I see." He was smiling now, half teasingly, half earnestly. "May I ask which memory is preserved in this scroll?"

I blushed even more. This was more embarrassing than I thought.

"Why are you blushing?" He asked bluntly.

"I am not! Oh, just take the scroll home and open it there. You will see!"

I ran away then in the soft drizzle, leaving him standing there, grinning triumphantly.

The Nisshoku shrine looked even wilder than usual in the rain, with green tendrils of woodbine and ivy slithering all over its wooden ancient walls. The misty greenness was refreshing and for once, those forever grumpy owl-gargoyles looked a bit less grumpy, having drunk the rainwater from the skies. I slipped few times over the slippery wet staircase as I made my way up, thinking about Itachi's expressions when he opened the scroll. Grandmother was busy shouting instructions to Azami-san, her martyred-looking assistant who was running amok in the garden, covering the sensitive herbs to shield them from the rain. "Miyuki!" she bellowed furiously. "You are late!"

"I was enjoying the rain!"

"Well, go and get changed, or you will catch cold."

I would have liked to enjoy the rain more but it wasn't worth having to drink grandmother's ginger tea so I took a warm bath in the shrine's bath-houses and then changed into my little spring yukata.

When I came to my room, grandmother was sitting crouched next to my futon with his lips pushed into a hard line. In her hands, she held the memory-preserving scroll, the copy of the same one I had given to Itachi earlier. My heart began to thud loudly in my chest.

"So!" she said at last, making me jump. "That is why you were late every day."

Though her voice was modulated now, I knew she was hiding an avalanche of anger underneath, waiting to be unleashed on me. There was no point of lying to her now so I sat in front of her, bowing my head slightly although my eyes remained defiant. "To think that my own grand-daughter has been fraternizing with our worst enemy… I knew I had spoiled you too much. I knew that you lied to me all the times but I never thought that you were prancing around with that little monster…"

"Itachi is not a monster! He—" I started to say and then reeled backward as she reached forward and slapped me across the face. Hot tears started to flow down my cheeks. Never before had she raised her hand on me.

"You know nothing, _nothing_ about them, those damned Uchihas!" she wailed. "Do you even know what they did? Not only have they taken away all our lands and killed all our ancestors, they called and _made the nine-tail fox attack Konoha!_ "

I immediately stopped whimpering. "But… But that can't be…"

"Only Sharingan can control a beast such as nine-tail fox!" she went on relentlessly, almost spitting with anger. "You are a fool if you think that Uchiha is an honorable clan with morals. Uchihas have always wanted to dominate Konoha alone. They have always been bitter and vengeful… it's in their nature and when they realized that they can't ever own Konoha, they made nine-tail fox attack it in spite. But I knew their plans… I anticipated them and that is why I sent your uncle to keep eye on them. I thought they wouldn't suspect your uncle because he was not a ninja but… They found out and they _killed_ him, in cold blood. They sent me back his dead-body as warning that I shouldn't interfere with their matters. Do you understand now? _They killed your uncle!_ "

Suddenly her bony arms were around me in a fierce hug. "Stay away from them, at all costs. They are nothing but enemies. That Itachi boy is nothing but a son of a monster, an heir who would grow up to be just like his father, power-thirsty and cruel. It is in their nature, their blood, their kekkei genkai. They _thrive_ on the pain, their own and of others. Their history is drenched in blood… I promised your father that I will protect you no matter what and I will. You will _not_ walk into that lion's den again. You will stay away from _them_. Do you understand?"

Silence.

" _Do you understand_?" She shook me vehemently; her eyes had enraged, almost insane look to them.

"Hai," I whispered.

* * *

" _The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies... It always comes from your friends and loved ones."_

 _-Anonymous_

* * *

 _ **A/N:** _ Don't tell me you didn't see that coming. X) There was simply too much happiness.

Please let me know what you think.

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

" _Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire."  
\- Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld._

* * *

 _Say, Itachi._

 _Do you still sometimes think of those times?_

 _My beautiful Halcyon days._

 _My grandmother always told me that the time waits for no one except for a Fukuro, that time is my ally. But the truth is, time is not my ally at all. It is just a web of tangled illusions, those endless threads of deception I am trapped in, forever. But even if I live in this time, doesn't mean I exist here. And that cruel world around you is not real either._

 _You exist with me, in those happiest moments of my life. In that far-off time, over those hazy, purple silhouette of the mountains trimmed with the lacy spruce trees. You exist in the chirpy birds of those old blue mornings; you are trapped in those twinkling constellations of the stars we used to gaze at from the top of the Nisshoku shrine's torri-gate. You exist in our morning walks, those sudden drizzles of the mid-summers. You exist in the first silver snowflake of the winter that was swirling around when I caught it in my palm and held it out to you._

 _So much has happened since then, but know this._

 _You do not exist in the hell you are living in. Neither do I exist in this hell, my so-called life._

 _You exist with me and I exist with you._

 _In our infinite, happy days._

* * *

Thunderstorm raged on outside the whole night as I sat near the window, my eyes fixated on the lightning that occasionally crisscrossed against the skies and lit up the whole dark world to reveal everything, the pathetic truth, if only for few infinitesimal moments. That night, this lightning didn't scare me; I reveled in it. I wanted it to strike down on earth and burn down the Nisshoku shrine and the Uchiha manor altogether until everything was reduced to ashes. Until nothing remained. Neither me nor _him_.

Next time, he met me with that same usual, winsome grin, with his hands in his pockets as if nothing had happened. I almost gave out a bitter laugh. It was almost funny how much could happen in one night. "Hello, Fukuro," he said.

I gritted my teeth, trying to make sense of the whirlpool inside of me and then turned away from him, not wanting look into those familiar eyes for the fear of coming undone. "Fukuro?"

Then I was running, wanting nothing else but to escape his stifling presence, to disappear into thin air. I knew I was being a coward, that I was just running away from the inevitable confrontation but I just never wanted to see him again. _Ever_. Suddenly, his hand was on my wrist, tight and unyielding. "No!" I tried to wrench my arm away but he tightened his grip. "Let go of me."

"Miyuki."

I stopped struggling immediately at the sound of my name in his voice, and that hesitant, soft undertone to it. This was the second time he had ever said my name and it was pathetic how much power he held over me just by enunciating that one word. My name.

"What's wrong?" His grip on my wrist was firm and his dark eyes were smoldering, bold; I knew he wouldn't let me go anywhere until he had his answer.

"You are asking me what's wrong!" I spat out, the volcano inside of me finally erupting. " _Your father killed my Uncle! Your father made the nine-tail fox attack Konoha_."

He immediately let go of my wrist and looked away, those midnight bangs of his covering his eyes.

I knew I was still pathetically clinging to that small, almost insubstantial thread of hope. I desperately wanted him to deny it; I wanted him to tell me that my grandmother was mistaken, that it will be alright, that he was the same Itachi I always knew. But when he continued to stand there silently, I felt like my whole world was crashing down. "Your father is a murderer…" I said bitterly, desperately trying to evoke some response out of him. "And you are in the same boat as him. You yourself said that you didn't even regret taking a life…"

Suddenly, he straightened his face and I took an involuntary step back when I realized that his eyes were swirling red with his deadly Sharingan. "I was protecting you and my brother!" he seethed.

I took another step back. Did I even know him, this boy with the eyes color of blood?

"And Uchihas _never_ attacked the village!" he went on, lividly angry now under his cold exterior as he took a menacing step in my direction. "Are you questioning my loyalty to Konoha?"

"Maybe they didn't tell you about it but Uchihas were behind the attack—"

"Almost ten of the casualties from that attack were from Uchiha clan," he clipped. "Do you still think we were behind the attack? That we would kill our own people? That is some serious accusation."

For the first time, those crimson eyes off his were being directed at me and it was overwhelming; I wanted nothing but to escape them.

"After all this time, are you telling me that you never trusted me?"

My eyes widened as I took in the barely concealed hurt in his voice but then I remembered his father's words loud and clear. _'Your uncle is dead, girl. He was killed earlier by the nine-tail fox.'_ "I know one thing for sure, you Uchihas backstabbed me. I… I really liked your mother and your brother but…"

"I never backstabbed you!" he interjected, no longer composed and calm like he usually was. The icy vehemence in his voice was startling and his red eyes seemed like they hid a thunder inside of their depths, waiting to be unleashed on me. "Are you saying that Uchihas are traitors, that _I_ am a traitor to Konoha?"

I knew I had hurt his pride as a Shinobi but then again, I was sure of one thing. "I know your father killed my Uncle. Obaa-san—"

"Your grandmother knows nothing."

I didn't bother forcing back my tears then. "Just shut up! Don't say a word about my Obaa-san and… _Stay away from me_."

Loneliness.

That's what he gave me. That's what he taught me.

Of course, I was no stranger to loneliness. When my parents were killed in the shinobi war, I had experienced fair share of it in undiluted form but at that time, I had always believed that my parents were lonelier than I was, in the Fukuro cemetery, under the wet soil, in that perpetual darkness, where not even a sunray dared to penetrate.

But this time, I was lonely all _alone_.

I had realized that two years later when I came face to face with him on the familiar trail on the mountains. Of course, I would often catch glimpses of him; it was inevitable since he was, after all, my neighbor but since he had become a genin, he had been too busy going on missions with his team or training which meant I didn't get to see that much of him, thankfully.

But on that cold day, he suddenly appeared beyond the bend in the road, like harvest moon in autumn. I was going back to Nisshoku shrine after an extensive training session of transformation jutsu, the one, I thought bitterly, he had mastered at the age of five probably. His hair had gotten longer; his eyes had gotten more mature and he was now taller than me. On his shoulders sat Sasuke, a little over two years of age, who kept chattering about something unimportant. Itachi's eyes were impassive, inscrutable as he saw me trudging my way over to him from the other side and his face betrayed no emotions whatsoever, even as he trained his piercing, dark eyes over me. That coal-black hair framing his face moved gently with every step he took.

My reaction was not as calm. In fact, I let out a small gasp and halted my movements entirely, berating myself for reacting. Then I immediately broke off the eye-contact and looked away evasively, resuming my walk. He brushed against me a little as we passed without exchanging a word, my heart thudding all the while with a strange longing to just talk to him again. _He is an Uchiha,_ I reminded myself firmly. _Get a grip_.

" _Yuki_?"

I froze. It was Sasuke who had said that and it wasn't even my full name but perhaps… was it possible that he was trying to call my name? It took me a moment to realize that I could hear no footsteps on the other side and knew Itachi had entirely stopped as well. I desperately wanted to look over my shoulder but resisted the temptation, even as the tension between us grew tangible. Why had he stopped? Was it because Sasuke had somehow remembered me, and was trying to talk to me? Was Itachi in the same predicament as I was in?

Just then I felt something small and icy brush against my cheek and looked up to see several other silvery wisps of snowflakes descending from the pearlescent white sky.

 _Yuki_.

First snow of the winter.

Not _Miyuki_.

Suddenly, I shivered, weighed down by disappointment and yearning, wondering why I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. I strode forward then without looking back, gritting my teeth as the wind grew sharper and more snowflakes filled the air in my way. They shimmered and sparkled, and danced and swirled, like our memories, trapped in the scroll that rested in a drawer of my nightstand. Itachi, however, had probably thrown away its copy. After all, he didn't need it.

He had Sasuke, his father, his mother and a best friend in equally prodigious Shisui Uchiha. He had his team, his clan and the whole Konoha at his feet. He was probably the most talked about shinobi, a _prodigy,_ capable of impossible feats while I was… _nothing_. I had _nothing_. I was lonely all alone which was even lonelier.

"Channel your sadness and loneliness into something positive," my 'wise' grandmother would say, "you can either build a boat to take you away from your shipwreck or you can watch yourself sink. Your choice."

So, I trained hard.

...

I sat down on one of the long rows of the desks of the classroom on the graduation day of my academy, trying to ignore the butterflies of nervousness in my stomach. I was one of the handfuls of nine-year-olds along with Hana Inuzuka and most of the kids sitting around us were twelve-years-olds who stared down at us patronizingly.

"I will now announce who would be graduating at the top of the class this year," Yagari-sensei stated, standing in front of the class with a clipboard in his hands. He had been quite dismal and rather irritable since his favorite student Itachi left but this particular day, he looked fresh and excited. Needless to say, he now had everyone's undivided attention. "Come forward and collect your certificate, _Fukuro Miyuki_!"

For a while, I couldn't move, wondering if my ears were playing tricks on me.

"She scored 3 in ninjutsu, 3 in taijutsu, 1.5 in genjutsu, 3 in intelligence, 2 in strength, 3 in speed and 2 in stamina. Grand total, 20.5! Congratulations!"

Hana was jabbing her elbow in my ribs and beaming. "Go, idiot or someone else will get it!"

As if in dream, I stumbled forward to collect my certificate with sound of applause loud in my ear. I couldn't help gloating a bit because not only was I genin now at the age of nine, I also had beaten all those older bullies who had tormented me all through the final year. I could almost feel their envious eyes boring into my back but I didn't care. I was soon out of this place anyway and God knows that Hana and I had tolerated them enough throughout that terrible last year.

My glow however was temporary because I suddenly remembered that no matter how far I had come, I still wasn't even close to Itachi who had not only graduated from academy at the age seven but had also scored the legendary total of 28.5 marks nobody had been able to beat. I sat there sullenly then, with my face in my hands, thinking of intensifying my training. I _had_ to catch up with him, at all costs.

"Team 9 would comprise of," Yagari sensei was saying in the background, "Inuzuka Hana, Fukuro Miyuki…"

We both beamed at each other.

"And Hyuuga Ryusei!"

We both groaned.

"And you will be put under the jounin instructor, Nara Shikaku."

It was like our worst nightmare; we were being put together in a same team as the leader of our tormentors, haughty and arrogant Hyuuga Ryusei. But I was a bit thankful of Hana scoring the lowest in the class which had consequently led to her being put in the same team as me to attain balance, despite the fact that it was unusual for two girls to be in the same squad.

"Move over!" Ryusei growled at both of us, his opal-white Hyuuga eyes disgusted. "I can't believe I have to be in the same team as a dog-peasant and a crazy bumpkin."

"Did you just call me a crazy bumpkin, Hyuuga?" I hissed stubbornly. I knew I was considered a bit old-fashioned because of the hakama my grandmother forced me to wear everywhere but calling me _crazy_ _bumpkin_ was a bit too much.

"You dared to call me a _peasant_?" Hana snarled and her Ninkens started growling at the conceited Hyuuga in response. "Watch yourself, Hyuuga, or my Haimarus will tear you apart!"

" _Hmph!_ " He turned up his nose snootily and took seat next to us. "I would suggest you both to watch yourself. I already have low patience and trust me; you won't like it if I turned my Byakugan on you both."

"Why?" Hana snapped, challenging him. "Do you think I am scared of those freaky eyes of yours—?"

He leaned towards her with a disturbing smirk. "Because it can see through _clothes._ "

"You pervert!" Hana raised her fist to slam it down on his head but he ducked away smoothly.

"But don't worry; I am not interested in two _flat-chested_ kunoichis."

"You—!" Hana was standing up now, seething with fury.

"What in the world is going on here?" Yagari sensei demanded testily. "Would you three keep it down? I am trying to make some important announcement here."

"First get this perverted Hyuuga out of our team!" I barked at him, jabbing a thumb in sneering Ryusei's direction. "He is unneeded!"

"Be quiet, Fukuro Miyuki," Yagari sensei chided sternly, taping my head with a clipboard. "Just because you graduated at the top of your class doesn't mean you have the right to kick people off your team. You Hyuuga Ryusei, would you kindly act as befits the noble status of your clan and _behave_? And you, Inuzuka Hana, sit down and _control your dogs_."

The three Haimarus were currently busy tugging at Ryusei's slacks with their teeth, snarling angrily and slobbering all over Ryusei's feet, much to his obvious revulsion. I sighed with exasperation, blowing on a stray strand of my hair that was hanging in front of my eyes. I could see that my genin days were going to be long ones.

...

"Congratulations once again, Miyuki," Yagari-sensei said as he affectionately covered my head with his large hand and smiled toothily. "When you first came, I thought you were a trouble child, wild and temperamental, with little respect for authority, but you have come a long way since then."

This was the first time he had actually acknowledged me. I couldn't help feeling a bit surprised and fidgeted with a shiny new Konoha headband over my forehead. "But I thought you were too blinded by that Uchiha Itachi to see anyone else."

He laughed. "Oh, Itachi is another story. But that doesn't mean I never saw you guys. I have always been watching all of you." He gave me a thumbs-up. "So, should I expect to see your face on that Hokage Mountain sometime in the future?"

I followed the direction of his finger and found myself staring at the big faces of Hokages chiseled over the mountain, the handsome face of Minato Namikaze standing out somehow, probably because of his victory against the nine-tail fox that had led to his tragic, yet heroic death. "No," I said at last, smiling wistfully.

"Why not?"

"My grandmother wants me to be Hokage but I don't want that. I want to find my own way."

"I see." His smile remained unaffected. "Well, to tell you the truth, I never really thought of you as a Hokage material anyway. I have never seen a tantrum-throwing Hokage before."

"That's mean, Yagari sensei!" I scowled at him. "I know you're saying that because you probably want the Hokage's seat to be vacant for that… that great _Itachi Uchiha_!" To my horror, I could almost see Itachi's huge, smug, intolerable face sculpted next to the fourth Hokage's. I gulped. I didn't think I would be able to bear it if Itachi became Hokage and would go mad if I had to look up to see that insufferable face of his wherever I went in Konoha, reminding me of all my mistakes. No, that would be my biggest nightmare.

"Oh well, don't tell Obaa-san that I don't want to be a Hokage or she will _skin me alive_."

"Don't worry it will be our little secret."

...

Shikaku sensei turned out to be a tall, well-built man from Nara clan, dressed in a flak jacket, slacks and that eccentric-looking deer skin. He had lazy, almost lethargic expressions over his face as he raked his tired eyes over us and for a moment, I found myself doubting his competency. But those scars marring his face were testament to how great he probably was. "What a drag," he sighed at last as he slumped down in a chair in front of us. "Two young, prepubescent girls in my team. This is going to be troublesome."

Ryusei immediately flashed both of us a superior smirk while Hana and I puffed out in anger. Last thing we needed was a chauvinist instructor to complete our already messed-up team.

"For your information," Hana said primly, "Miyuki graduated at the top of her class even though she is a _girl!_ "

"Girls usually are on the top of their classes," he yawned. "Well, I suppose introductions are in order. My name is Shikaku Nara and I will be your sensei. Things I hate… well, getting up early in the morning for the brats like you and things I like… hmm…" he seemed to think about it with a finger under his goatee, "playing shogi and watching clouds and you guessed it, _taking naps_. Oh and also, my wife's occasional smiles. And my plans for the future? Well, to die as an old man, reading a newspaper."

An awkward silence followed this extraordinary introduction. Hana gawked at him as if he was insane and I immediately began doubting his abilities once again. Even Ryusei frowned a bit, looking troubled with the lack of motivation our so-called-sensei displayed. Just which shinobi wanted die reading a newspaper?

"Now it is your turn," he gestured vaguely to Ryusei whose pale orbs immediately filled with determination.

"My name is Hyuuga Ryusei and I belong to the Main house of the Hyuuga clan," he started off haughtily, pausing to see if he had everyone's attention. Shikaku sensei seemed to be dozing off, much to his chagrin but he had to choice but to continue, "Things I dislike are poverty and hunger, and the things I like are, well, _nobility_ and _aristocracy_. And my plans for the future are to eradicate poverty and hunger from the land of fire."

I stared at him as if for the first time. He was dressed in flawless, probably extremely expensive white shirt that clipped at one side, over gray slacks. His headband sat proudly over his forehead, under his short chocolate-brown bangs that fell into his aristocratic white eyes. He held himself quite proudly and his whole countenance dripped with _nobility._ I had always known his dislike for poor people but I never thought he had 'noble' intentions of eradicating poverty from the land of fire. This immediately raised my opinion of him although only marginally.

"My name is Inuzuka Hana," she started, "My hobbies are taking walks with my Haimaru brothers and things I hate, or rather people I hate are those who act all high and mighty just because of their noble birth and then look down on others. (Ryusei sent a scornful look in her direction which she ignored) And my dream for the future is to become the greatest veterinarian in Konoha."

The three Haimaru brothers nodded their heads fervently in response to their master's speech and _woofed_ , waking up Shikaku sensei from his reverie. "Right," he yawned, still disoriented. "And now it's your turn, Fukuro."

"My name," I said, "is Fukuro Miyuki. I like dangos from Konoha's dango shop and the things I hate are…" Itachi's sharingan eyes flashed in my mind, " _cabbage_ and the color _red._ My hobbies are training and taking walks in the woods _._ As for my dreams; I am going to take back all the lands Uchihas stole from us and reestablish my clan as one of the noble clans of Konoha. And also… I am going to surpass a certain _person_."

* * *

 **A/N:** I needed to focus on Miyuki's development for now and so, it is imperative that she develops by herself, away from Itachi's influence. You see, I have to make her strong enough for Itachi, because she can't just be 'ordinary' or 'weak' and still able to keep up with a prodigy such as Itachi. I am trying not to make her into a Mary-sue though.

Once again, thank you for reading and drop in to leave a review or some suggestion. It is always good to hear from you!

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

" _Some steps need to be taken alone. It is the only way to really figure out where you need to be."_

 _-Mandy Hale_

* * *

Shikaku sensei led us through the Nara forest while we followed after him warily through the slithering roots of the ancient oak and beech trees. Every now and then, Hana—the animal-lover that she was— would squeal in delight whenever her eyes fell on some exotic animal, such as deer or antelopes who would look at us with their dewy, strangely intelligent eyes. Some of them even came forward to greet Shikaku sensei who caressed their necks absently.

"Right," he said when we were deep inside the forest. "So you three are going to try to get this deer-horn from me before the noon. Even if one of you gets it, the three of you pass. But if none of you got it by the noon, all three of you would be going back where you came from, got it?"

"You mean back to the academy?" Hana asked incredulously.

"That doesn't seem so hard," Ryusei smirked, those confident eyes of his riveted on the small deer-horn that hung by Shikaku sensei's belt.

"Your time starts _now_!"

I immediately took an offensive stance, my muscles tensing with anticipation. Ryusei and Hana mirrored my movements.

"Now if you will excuse me," Shikaku-sensei yawned and then stretched, "I need to catch up on my sleep. I slept only for five hours last night and then had to wake up for the brats like you…" He retreated to the corner of the clearing, reclined his head against one of the beech trees and was soon asleep.

We blinked at him disbelievingly, too shocked and perplexed to even make a move. "What the—"

"Is he making fun of us?" Ryusei said darkly, looking absolutely thunderous with those dilated veins around his eyes. "What the hell is he playing at? I will teach him a lesson for ignoring _me_ like this and going to sleep in the middle of the battle with a _Hyuuga_."

"Wait, Hyuuga!" I snarled but he was already charging forward, glaring with his Byakugan, his hand raised in a distinctive Hyuuga style of taijutsu. But he came to abrupt halt about eight meters away from the sleeping form of our sensei, with one his hands still raised offensively and his legs incapacitated by some unfathomable means. "I…I can't move at all!" he stammered, gritting his teeth.

"Serves you right!" Hana spat out. "Well, Haimarus?" The three Haimarus began to roll at high-speed, heading like bullets towards the sleeping sensei but they too were suddenly rendered unable to move and began whining softly. "What, you can't move either? Oh, don't worry; I will free you from whatever it is." That was Hana's mistake and she too was soon caught in that mysterious paralysis.

I stood where I was, desperately scraping at the corners of my mind for some kind of strategy. My two team-mates were now paralyzed entirely and I needed to do something drastic… My eyes trained over the perimeter of the clearing. Yes, the trees. After all, ninjas always felt way more at home in shadows than in open. I quickly pulled myself up a branch of a tree and opted for the long-range attacks, taking out my kunais and shurikens. My eyes widened as the kunais seemed to meet some unseen barrier around sensei and just fell to the ground innocuously. Frustrated as I was, I couldn't help but feel a grudging respect towards that lazy, sleeping man; he clearly knew what he was doing even when he was asleep… Or at least, was pretending to be.

I decided to put my taijutsu to use and sprung down from the tree but as soon as my feet hit the ground, I was foolishly caught up in that mystifying paralysis as well. "No!" I hissed out and tried to put power in every muscle of my body, clenching my teeth with effort but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't even move the little finger of my hand.

"Can't you… can't you do something with that useless Byakugan of yours?" Hana asked Ryusei, her neck muscles straining. "Is it only good for the perverted reasons?"

"I can't do anything if I can't _move_ , peasant," he shot back, looking mortally offended. "I don't have the damned sharingan that can cast genjutsus, you know!"

It was beyond ridiculous now. It had already been two hours and we hadn't even moved an inch. In frustration and aggravation, we could do nothing except for glowering murderously at our sensei who seemed to be sleeping blissfully. As if to taunt us, he started snoring.

"Wake up!" Ryusei growled crabbily at him. "And get us out of here!"

"As if he will listen to you," I snapped at him. "Stop wasting your breath and think of something!"

"If he didn't wake up soon I will _kill_ him!" he declared with vehemence.

Just then Shikaku-sensei opened his eyes and stretched. "Oh," He grinned at us, "So I see that you three still haven't broken free of my shadow-possession jutsu yet, which means that I can still continue on taking my nap."

"Damn you!" Ryusei roared as the sensei promptly went back to sleep and started snoring again.

I was panting now, probably even more so than the Haimaru brothers. My muscles were extremely sore from all the straining and the sweat covered every inch of my body. Time was ticking away quickly. Undiluted bleakness was surging through every corner of my body and I knew that if this continued, we would be going back to the academy. And I would never be able to catch up with Itachi like this. I had to do something… _anything_.

I had to concentrate. I had to force my mind to open, like an elastic band… The time was going away fast and only fifteen minutes remained till noon. I was extremely aware of the fact that every second was taking us nearer to defeat. And I couldn't allow that. _Never._ I was remembering my grandmother's words. ' _Remember, time is your greatest ally.'_

Yes, time was my ally. I didn't need to be afraid.

And then, suddenly I felt as if the time itself had stopped for me. The leaves falling all around us stilled in the air, as if in a dream and for that surreal, infinitesimal moment, I was in some other dimension… And then I could move. I was free.

 _What just happened? Did I really just..._ No, I had no time to dwell on it.

Still reeling from the shock, I lunged unceremoniously towards the sleeping sensei whose hand slithered out and grabbed my wrist effectively, arresting my hand an inch away from the deer-horn at his belt. "Impressive," he drawled, suddenly wide awake. "You did manage to break free of my shadow-possession jutsu. It is probably due to your unique bloodline, I assume. However… you still fail. Without teamwork, that is."

I glared at him fiercely.

"For example, if you had broken free of paralysis, you should have tried to help your comrades break free as well instead of attacking me or jumping towards the deer-horn. Did you want to get it for your own selfish reasons? Or was it because you wanted all the glory to yourself?"

"But I was trying to get the deer-horn for all of us," I protested. "You said that even if one of us gets it, you will pass all three of us."

"Yes I said that, but that was to test you," he said in bored tone of voice. "I was going to see if you three would launch your individual attacks or if you will make use of teamwork. Well, I have to say, I am disappointed."

"Well, let go of me now." I grumbled with chagrin, trying to wrench my wrist free. "You have made your point."

"No."

"Let go of her!" It was Ryusei's voice. To my surprise, he appeared right beside me and delivered almost twenty blows in quick succession with his open hand on Shikaku-sensei, or rather on a log since Shikaku sensei had already used the replacement jutsu and had disappeared. Only to appear where Hana was waiting for him with her three Haimaru brothers, who were now able to move once again much to my astonishment. Sensei was forced to use replacement technique once more to evade the combo attack from the Haimarus and vanished, leaving the three of us alone for a while, exhausted yet relieved.

"Hyuuga?" I exclaimed in surprise. "And you too Hana! You both are free now!"

He nodded, his opal eyes suddenly seeming a lot more focused and intelligent than they usually did. "I was waiting. You know shadows get smaller at noon. I realized that his shadow possession must have a range and that range was growing smaller as we neared the noon. Since I was the furthest away from him, I got free earlier than either of you. But I was pretending to be still caught up in the Shadow possession, waiting for the right time to attack. And just when sensei dropped his guard with all those boring lectures of his, I attacked. By that time, Inuzuka had gotten free as well."

I couldn't help being surprised, looking at him in new light. So, this was why all Hyuugas were considered geniuses? Against my will, I was impressed.

"Congratulations!" Shikaku sensei announced as he appeared once again, with one hand in his pocket and a small grin over his chiseled, scarred face. "You passed!"

"What? But…" Hana breathed out incoherently. "But we… we haven't gotten the deer-horn from you yet."

"That you didn't," he agreed, his small eyes warm and light. "But your last attack was to free your team-mate, not to obtain the deer-horn which means you understood what I was trying to say. In ninja missions, it is very important to trust your comrades and move in harmony with them because if you abandon your comrades, your chances of succeeding in the mission decrease by considerable amount.

"So now then, welcome to the team and say hello to your genin days."

…..

Sometimes I trained until I couldn't even feel my legs. My hands were no longer soft and childish but were always covered with bruises that I would attain during my strenuous training. What was I even training for? I asked myself that sometimes when I was kicking a trunk of a tree for the hundredth time or learning to focus my chakra. Sometimes, it all seemed foolish. Did I secretly want to become Hokage? Did I really want to help my clan? Did I truly want to protect the citizens of Konoha? Was it patriotism, altruism, devotion to this land? Was it to avenge my Uncle and my ancestors against the Uchiha clan? Or did I just want to surpass Uchiha Itachi who had probably forgotten that I even existed?

But no matter how much I thought about bleak things like my motives and my dreams, I never failed to find myself on the training grounds. Sometimes I couldn't help pitying myself which was probably the most dangerous thing, according to grandmother. "A strong person never pities himself," she would say, "The moment you start pitying yourself, it means you are already on your way to slow destruction."

 _Slow destruction_.

It didn't sound like a fun trip.

Despite the fact that I had graduated at the top of my class, had cleared most of my genin missions effectively and probably trained more than the most kids my age, I knew I wasn't strong. I was still weak. I had come a long way since then but at the same time, I was still stuck there.

…..

This time it was Mikoto Uchiha.

She was holding grocery bags, wearing a small, vague smile on her face as if daydreaming about something. She was probably returning from the market. Usually, I would go out of my way to avoid her but this time, I wasn't fast enough. I felt too tired. _Exhausted._

"Miyuki-chan?" she asked, "I haven't seen you since forever! Did you have a fight with Itachi? Even though I asked him about you several times…"

And then she was so far away. I was no longer in my body; I couldn't feel it. I was falling down, probably even hurtling off the cliff, into the timeless chasms of abyss. Like blue sand in the hourglass that rested on the mantelpiece in the main-hall of the Nisshoku shrine. There was a floating memory trapped in grandmother's memory-preserving scroll in Nisshoku library. It mists rose up like an apparition and surrounded me in my haze. I saw my mother again, her smiling eyes. " _Kaa-san_?" I murmured.

"You will be alright, Miyuki-chan," said a quiet voice nearby. A cool, soothing touch to my forehead and eyes fluttered open. "You trained so hard that you caught a fever. Or perhaps, you were training so hard while you had fever. It made you faint but don't worry, you will be alright soon."

"Where am I?" I mouthed.

"Oh, you are at Uchiha manor. I was going to call your Obaa-san but she was called by Hokage. You can rest here for a while, dear, until the fever breaks. Come, Sasuke, we should let Miyuki-chan rest."

I squeezed my eyes shut because she wasn't my Kaa-san even though her voice was like honey, sweet and pure, that called to the butterflies. I forced myself to drown deeper in the memories of my past then, into that bright, nebulous corner of my mind where my Kaa-san and Oto-san and my Uncle resided. They shone bright like a spray of stars, a galaxy that burnt bright while collapsing. I was collapsing. I was falling. Again. Even as those ruby-red eyes watched me and protected me from the deepest, darkest phantoms of my fears. " _Ita-chi_?" I whispered in delirium.

"I am here."

A soft pressure to my hand. A gentle squeeze. I desperately wanted to open my eyes to see if it was just another dream or not, but I was pulled under, in the whirlpool from which I didn't resurface.

When I woke up, bright sunlight was pouring in from the window, lighting up those aimless dust particles that seemed to dance in the galaxy of their own. "Kaa-san, come, she is awake!" Someone exclaimed loudly and I blinked away the last vestiges of sleep from my eyes to find little Sasuke gawking at me with his large, curious eyes as if I was some specimen in a lab.

"Oh, you are awake!" It was Itachi's mother. Her gentle hand slipped over my forehead, then around my neck. "You don't have fever any more, thank goodness. But you shouldn't be so reckless, Miyuki-chan, training like that when you are sick! Your health comes first, doesn't it? How are you feeling now?"

"Alright," I mumbled, feeling a bit uncomfortable but at the same time, her fussing felt a bit… nice. It was so evocative of my own mother when she used to fret over me that for a moment, I could only blink at her with a tight knot in my chest.

"I made you some chicken-rice porridge, the same one I always make for Itachi whenever he is sick," she smiled. "You will be up in no time."

Itachi's name brought a sudden wave of panic over me and I hesitantly began looking over her shoulder… No, no, this was one encounter I wanted to avoid at all costs even if I had to dissolve into thin air. "Oh, are you looking for Itachi?" Mikoto asked, mistaking my anxiety for eagerness, "He had to leave earlier this morning with his team on some urgent mission. It's a shame that he couldn't say goodbye to you. You were asleep."

I immediately relaxed, reclining back in the pillows, looking sadly at the compassion and concern lurking in those dark eyes of Mikoto Uchiha, the wife of the man who had ordered my Uncle to be killed. Did she know? Did she feel guilty that her husband had killed my uncle? Was that the reason behind her kindness, that pity in her eyes when she looked at me sometimes? _Maybe she doesn't know anything at all,_ I thought. Perhaps, Itachi and her—they were both oblivious to all those dark and corrupt things Uchihas did. Perhaps they were both innocent… But that didn't seem possible. Itachi was the heir and she was the wife of the leader of Uchiha clan. How could they be innocent?

As I took a spoonful of the porridge, I couldn't keep my eyes from straying at the Uchiha crest engraved proudly over the wall of the room. The porridge was delicious but scalding hot, so much that it almost burnt the roof of my mouth.

…..

When we told Shikaku sensei that we wanted to take part in Chunin exams, he had reacted with surprise and was, for once, widely awake. "But you are only ten years old," he had protested, blinking up at me.

 _So is Uchiha Itachi_ , I wanted to snap. "I think I am strong enough," My voice was without even a trace of reluctance that could give away the turmoil hidden inside of me.

"So am I," Ryusei piped in, not wanting to be left behind.

"Well, I think I can survive that too, if I am with these two," Hana smiled.

"Very well then," Shikaku-sensei grinned; that same, familiar grin that made his eyes crinkle at the corners as he straightened up from where he was leaning against the bridge railings. "You three have come a long way since you first became genins, after all. If you three are confident enough then who am I to say no?"

* * *

 **A/N:** Another chapter done! I know there wasn't much Itachi-Miyuki interaction here but persevere! He is going to be there in the next chapter. Please review because your feedback is like GOLD for an author!

Osnapitzlivia, spirited curiosities, Marvel 18, KonekoKat and my other readers- Thank you for sticking up with me till now. ;-) I am glad you like the way I am developing Miyuki.

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

 _"Sometimes I'm terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts."_

 _-Edgar Allan Poe_

* * *

I kept curling and uncurling my fingers, trying to tell myself for the thousandth time that I wasn't nervous but for the thousandth time, it proved to be futile. The elephants rampaging in my stomach refused to go away. The tension in that small, stifling waiting-room was almost palpable; hundreds of genins from all the villages had gathered and were waiting to proceed to the first stage of Chunin Exams. Several had already emptied out the contents of their stomach and the stench of vomit and sweat in their air, mingling with other body odors was making me even more nauseous. Ryusei stood next to me, leaning against the wall, with his arms folded across his chest and his eyes closed, almost as if he was meditating, but I knew he always did that whenever he was agitated; Hyuugas were too proud to display their nervousness. Hana, however, had no problem displaying it and kept jumping whenever the door opened and some new team walked in.

"Control yourself," Ryusei chastised her, "or they are already going to mark you as easy target. They are looking for the signs of weakness."

"Do you even know who just walked in?" she snapped. "It is… It is _that_ team."

Of course, ' _that_ ' team was the most notorious team, the team every other contestant wanted to avoid at all costs and it comprised of thirteen-years-old Sumiko Aburame, twelve-years-old Shisui Uchiha and the third member was no other than Itachi Uchiha.

There was a sharp intake of breath and everybody grew silent as the three of them glided across the room, as if they were already the victors. Shisui Uchiha was wearing a self-assured, easy smile as he strutted forward through the sea of parting crowd, with Uchiha symbol proudly displayed at his back. Sumiko Aburame was unreadable with her dark glasses while Itachi merely looked… _bored,_ apathetic even with his hands in his pockets, but I knew that the moment he had entered the room he had already analyzed each and every one and everything. I had felt his penetrating eyes swoop over me and for that fleeting moment, a flicker of recognition had entered those onyx irises, and then his gaze had moved elsewhere. I started breathing again. For the first time, I realized that I was standing at the same level as him. That immediately made my nervousness ebb away.

"This," I said to Hana and Ryusei, "is the team we are going to defeat in these exams."

Ryusei looked a bit taken aback but then a grin flitted across his lips. "I like that."

"Are you two _insane_?" Hana squealed, looking horrorstruck and dumbfounded as if I had just asked her to strip in a room full of people. "Are you even listening to yourselves? _That_ team has got an Aburame and two Uchihas, I repeat, two _Uchihas_ in their team which means two _Sharingans_." She gave out a shudder. "And not only that, these two are _prodigies_. Now, let's have a look at our team. There is this arrogant Hyuuga who can't use his Byakugan to save his life except for looking through the girls' clothes with it and then there is Fukuro girl who is just good at giving threats but never actually carrying them out and then, there is _me_. How in the world did you even entertain the idea that we could be a match for _that_ team? If anything, you should be asking us to run in the opposite direction if we ever encountered them."

A prolonged silence followed and I immediately blushed with mortification as I realized that everybody within the ten mile radius had probably heard her outburst. Then few people started sniggering, calling us idiots and weaklings and all the girls started eyeing Ryusei as if he was some old lecher.

"Congratulations, you dumbass," he seethed, glaring at Hana. "You all but _proclaimed_ all our weaknesses. Now nobody is going to take us seriously, all because…"

"Excuse me," said a voice nearby and I raised my flaming face to see Shisui Uchiha himself grinning down at us in amusement. "I couldn't help overhearing your – _ahem_ \- conversation or rather a rant. So does that mean that you are marking us as your rivals?"

"No," Hana choked out and seemed like she was going to pass out any moment.

"Yes," I said quickly although I was feeling lot less confident now as I felt Itachi's piercing eyes on me who was standing silently behind Shisui's shoulder with that Aburame girl, looking vaguely nonchalant.

" _No_!" Hana said again a bit more forcefully and flashed me a furtive glare before smiling sheepishly at Shisui. "She is just babbling, don't mind her. Does that all the times. You see, she is not meant to be taken seriously—"

Shisui ignored Hana and her Ninkens that were barking at him and locked his searching gaze instead with mine and then with Ryusei's who stared back at him unflinchingly. A slow smirk dawned over his face as if he liked what he saw. "Fine then," he drawled. "We accept your challenge. In fact, we are looking forward to it. But just don't regret it later on because I am warning you; going easy is not in our nature."

"Neither in ours," Ryusei said.

I thought I saw a hint of grin over Itachi's lips just before the three of them left. If he had done that to shake my resolve, it was working, much to my vexation. The elephants in my stomach were back.

"Oh no," Hana moaned, her skin glowing hundred shades of green as she lurched on her feet. "We are _doomed_." Her canines whimpered at her feet in assent.

 _Probably_ , I thought silently. What had I gotten myself and my team into?

"Don't worry, Hana," I told her with more confidence than I felt. "We will all get through this. _Trust me_."

…..

We passed the first stage of the Chunin exams without too many difficulties which gave a tremendous boost to our confidence. Even Hana looked a bit less green now as she stood in the row with us, waiting to proceed to the second stage of the exams.

Forest of the death was unlike any other forest I had ever seen, with looming, monstrous trees, their branches outstretched menacingly like claws; they looked like the kind of trees that would come alive in the middle of night when all is silent and rip everyone apart. Few beams of sunrays managed to penetrate the thick canopy and fall on the forest-floor but other than that, the whole woods were swarming with the ominous shadows that constantly kept shifting due to the dancing wind. Every now and then, screams of terror or deep, bloodcurdling roars of tigers or hyenas would echo through the trees sinisterly, making us all jump. The wind that sighed and moaned against the rustling leaves sounded like a dirge of the dead. I gulped involuntarily as I felt all the courage drain from me. I didn't think I felt brave enough to face Itachi or his team here.

The Earth scroll we had been given before the start of this round rested in the satchel Hana was wearing for the safekeeping. "Make sure not to lose it," Ryusei told her patronizingly.

Hana swelled with anger. "I know how to keep things safe," she snapped.

I sighed as their bickering droned on in the background. The two of them just didn't know how to shut up and of course, that made it extremely easy for one of the teams to find us. Our first encounter was with a team from Kirigakure, whose water-based jutsus made them challenging opponents but both sides lost interest when we realized that we both had the Earth scrolls. We needed only a Heaven scroll before we made it to the building in the center of the forest, so why waste our time on them?

The first night was the hardest. I sat on the third watch, hidden under leaves to camouflage myself, trying to fight away the talons of sleep that kept coming for me. I huddled closer in my arms, trying to keep my teeth from chattering, knowing that we couldn't possibly make a fire no matter how tempting it seemed because that would be like beckoning to all the other teams. Sullenly, I gazed up at the heavy sky visible from the cracks in the canopy of the trees. The clouds were insidiously swallowing all the stars and the lonesome, almost ethereal moon, against all odds, still struggled to shine on the dark realms of the skies. An unnervingly heavy darkness descended over the woods, sprinkled over by the faint, silvery moonlight. Shadows were darker than the blackest ink and I was trying not to think about what could be lurking in their cradles, unseen. Few crickets were singing here and there, but other than that, the silence reigned, absolute and complete.

Beside me, Ryusei kept swatting at the mosquitoes in his sleep.

"Quit that," Hana said at him, "I can't go to sleep because of you clapping in my ears."

"How can you even go to sleep with all these mosquitoes buzzing in your ears anyway then?" he hissed back.

"Because I am not a snobbish brat like you who has never slept with the bugs before."

"Shut up both of you!" I whispered to them harshly but it was already too late. I stared in horror, as three, shadowy figures arose like apparition from the fringe of darkness and began slithering their way towards us. My eyes narrowed. How could I not have sensed their chakras at all? They were like ghosts. "We've got company."

Hana and Ryusei had already pulled themselves out of their sleeping bags and had assumed defensive positions.

" _Oh no_ ," Hana whispered when the three figures were close enough that we could make out two pair of orbs glowing blood-red in the dark night. _Sharingans_. An icy chill slithered down my spine. Against my will, my chakra spiked and my heart began hammering against my ribcage with anticipation and dread.

"Hey there," came a cheerful voice that unmistakably belonged to Shisui Uchiha. "We were just passing by and dropped in to say hi."

A tense silence followed and then, Hana in her tremulous voice, said, "Hi _._ " _And now go away_ , she seemed to be saying with her wide eyes.

"See this," Shisui continued in his genial voice, as if he really was talking to some old friends. "They gave us a Heaven scroll. May I ask which scroll might you guys be having?"

"What a coincidence!" Hana said in a high-pitched voice. "We happen to be given a Heaven scroll too! Now if you will excuse us—"

"No, we have the Earth scroll," I found myself saying.

" _Miyuki_ ," Hana hissed.

"Well, that changes things. I am afraid I can't let you pass, even if we both teams are from Konoha."

"So you are willing to attack people of your own village?" Hana asked incredulously. "I mean, shouldn't we be helping each other out? Oh, I know, if we managed to find another Earth scroll, we will be sure to give it to you. Wouldn't that solve all our problems? In fact, we should form an alliance…"

"Alliances," Shisui interrupted pleasantly, "can only be formed when both parties benefit from it. I am afraid; I just don't see what benefit we could possibly obtain by becoming your allies."

"You are right," Ryusei said, imperious as ever. "We also have nothing to gain by the likes of you."

Hana flashed him a what-the-hell-are-you-saying-we-are-doomed look. Her Ninkens kept growling pathetically, sensing their master's fright.

Again, I could feel Itachi's intense eyes on me but I refused to acknowledge him. He and his other silent teammate had yet to say anything. I wondered if Shisui ever felt bored by their silence and that was why he was picking on us.

"Enough pleasantries," Shisui said at last. "You have got the Earth scroll and we have got the Heaven scroll. I say we should get started, right Sumiko, Itachi?"

"Do what you want," said Itachi, sounding utterly bored. "I will take myself out of this fight. You two can take care of these three and get the Heaven scroll, I presume?"

"Sure we can," said Sumiko, speaking for the first time. "This won't even take a second."

I could barely conceal the gasp that almost escaped my mouth as I heard Itachi's voice, the voice I hadn't heard in ages. I didn't know why it bothered me—was it the new, deep cadence, maturity to it or was it the deliberate indifference in the way he spoke? Was it because he utterly refused to even acknowledge me when I had been training myself to death thinking of surpassing him? Whatever it was, it sent a wave of fury over me like a riptide that completely submerged me in and I found myself hissing through my mouth like some enraged hound. So was I not even worth his time now?

"Hyuuga and Hana, you two take care of Shisui Uchiha and Aburame," I barked at them, holding out a kunai. " _I_ will take care of this 'cowardly' Uchiha who is so adamant on stepping out."

The clouds rolled away and a single, silvery moonbeam lit up Itachi's face, making his sharingan glow almost enthrallingly as his eyes narrowed at my remark. Then I saw that same, familiar smirk sneaking furtively across his face before a big globe of Shisui's fireball blocked my line of vision. I jumped back to evade it, startled, only to find Shisui standing in front of me, smiling. "Don't be so stingy, Fukuro Miyuki," he said amiably. "Fight me first. If you win, you can go and fight that 'cowardly' Uchiha as well."

I blinked at him. "How do you know my name?"

"I know all your names," he chuckled, "I have got to know the names of my so-called-rivals, right?"

I immediately made a clone of myself which I sent after Shisui while I myself charged on Itachi, only to be blocked again by Shisui who had already gotten rid of my clone. When I realized that he wasn't going to let me fight the Uchiha heir, I got desperate and so, my attacks got predictable. I realized that I was angry at Shisui even though my anger did seem a bit irrational and misdirected, even to me; but I couldn't get over the fact that he had somehow taken my place in Itachi's life and that was enough reason for me to dislike him with considerable vehemence. That, and the fact that he was an Uchiha, my sworn enemy. Shisui effectively parried, dodged and blocked all my punches and kicks, all the time wearing that insufferable grin, much to my indignation. "Is that all you have got?" he taunted as he smoothly dodged my kunais. "All bark and no bite?"

I smirked as I found him nearing the explosive tag I had planted over a tree but to my dismay, he evaded it effortlessly, grinning as he did so. "There are few things Sharingan can't see."

Cursing, I surreptitiously began pulling at the web of strings I had carefully implanted all over the forest floor, hoping to trap him by his legs but suddenly, his crimson eyes were on me… Everything, the dark forest, dissolved out of my sight and I was suddenly rendered unable to move.

I recognized this place; Shisui's famous Genjutsu. He stood on the other side of that strange, distorted realm, smiling genially as he approached me with a kunai in his hands while I struggled. No matter how hard I tried, I still couldn't break free. Talons of fear gripped me as I realized that I was going to stay here forever, unless I didn't do something drastic…

"Snap out of it, Miyuki!" I heard Hana shout, as sharp pain bloomed in my calves. And then I was back in the night, in the forest of the death, with Haimarus barking at my feet. "Sorry," Hana was saying, her eyes frantic. "I had to make them bite you to make you snap out of it. You just stood there in daze… you already know that Genjutsu is your weakness, so stay back, it is my turn now."

I wanted to protest but my legs hurt where Haimarus had bitten me and my knees were too wobbly. Was this the power of Uchiha's genjutsu?

"So, you were the one who sent those mosquitoes to pester us?" Ryusei was saying to Sumiko Aburame, sounding thoroughly disgruntled. The protruding veins around his eyes were visible even in the dim, murky moonlight.

"Of course," she admitted. "I sent a swarm of mosquitoes to tail after you and listen to your conversations. That made you all pathetically easy to find. Well, it is time to get serious now, I suppose." She bit her thumb to draw out blood and made series of hand signs. "Summoning jutsu."

To our combined horror, a gigantic, scuttling spider appeared in between her and Ryusei with eight eyes like huge beetles that seemed to be looking everywhere. "Say hello to Jasmine."

"You… you named that thing _Jasmine_?" Ryusei asked disbelievingly as he stood there with wide eyes, paralyzed and petrified.

"Don't just stand there," I chided him. "Don't tell me you are afraid of spiders!"

"No, but I just _hate_ spiders," he moaned, flinching visibly as the spider raised one of its big, hairy legs, preparing to attack. I shot Ryusei a look of disdain before I sent a rain of kunais over the spider. The giant insect, however, remained completely unaffected by it and in one great, swooping movement, it had already scooped up Ryusei in its pincers. Beside me, Haimarus were rolling at high speed, trying to hit Shisui who kept jumping out of the way, teasing Hana. That 'cowardly' Uchiha Itachi was sitting over a branch of a tree, apparently resting and seemed downright uninterested in joining the fray. It was utterly hopeless.

They departed as the dawn began to break, with our Earth scroll, leaving us bloodied and injured and scroll-less on the forest floor. It was ludicrously pathetic, laughable even; they literally wiped the floor with us. "Happy now?" Hana said as she raised herself up with some effort. "I won't say I told you so."

"You better not!" I growled irritably.

She began rummaging through her satchel. "I have got few bandages, disinfectants, salves and painkillers… Even though I use these salves for my Haimarus but I guess they should work for humans too."

"In case you didn't notice," Ryusei bit out, "we are not covered in _fur_."

"Do you have a better option?" she shot back. "And you should work on being more 'friendly' towards me. I am the only one in this team who knows a bit of medical ninjutsu."

"But you are a vet!" he protested.

"Exactly," she snapped. "I don't see any difference between you and an animal."

I put my arm over my eyes and closed them, trying to ignore their obnoxious voices as the pain of defeat rippled over every inch my body. Disappointment came in waves and was much more intense than any physical pain; despite the fact that I had trained so hard, _so hard_ , I was nowhere near the power of Uchihas. It was _… ridiculous_! Unfair. Unjust. Unacceptable.

"I think they were going easy on us," Hana murmured contemplatively as she worked on bandaging Ryusei. "None of us have any broken bones or some serious injury. Only flesh wounds that heal easily. Maybe they aren't as bad as we thought before, but I am pretty sure that is because we all belong to the Konoha."

"I beg to differ," said Ryusei dryly, "I think I am permanently scarred by my wonderful meeting with that _Jasmine_. I don't think I will be able to recover ever."

In the end, we ambushed few other teams and did manage to salvage some dignity by acquiring both the Heaven and the Earth scrolls and making it to the third round of Chunin exams. "Oh, look who made it through," Shisui chuckled with mock delight as he came forward to greet us with the same, charming smile I hated so much. "As expected of our so-called rivals. Congratulations!"

"You too," Hana said, beaming, no longer scared of him while Ryusei and I glared at him witheringly. He might not have hurt us that much physically but he had inflicted deep wounds on our pride.

The preliminaries went without any event, except that Hana lost her battle to a freaky ninja from Sunagakure and was knocked out of the Chunin Exams. "It is not like I wasn't prepared for this," she sighed, her lips trembling dangerously. "I just didn't expect… well, I am still really disappointed in myself."

"Well, what were you expecting?" Ryusei said. "That guy from Sand was extremely strong and you never train hard enough. You should be happy that you haven't been knocked out cold."

"Well done, you! Thanks for being so _tactful_." My voice dripped with sarcasm as I put my arm around Hana whose shoulders were now dangerously shaking with silent sobs.

"Well, I am doing it for her own good!" he retaliated gruffly. "I'll make sure that she trains harder so she wouldn't have to go through this again."

We were all standing in front of the screen that was going to announce who our next opponents would be for the third stage of the Chunin Exams and needless to say, my hands had gone all clammy. I wanted to succeed and to be able to do that, there were many ninjas I wanted to avoid; that freaky one from Sunagakure, that green, scaly one from Kirigakure who looked more like a chimera than a human and I definitely didn't want to fight the sadistic-looking one with a Glasgow smile from Iwagakure… Just as I was pondering this, the battle flowchart appeared over the screen.

 _Hyuuga Ryusei from Konohagakure_ **vs** _Aburame Sumiko from Konohagakure._

 _Uchiha Shisui from Konohagakure_ **vs** _Kemono Harushi from Kirigakure (aka the chimera guy)_

 _Fukuro Miyuki from Konohagakure_ **vs** _Uchiha Itachi from Konohagakure_

For a while, his name and his picture blurred in front of my eyes as overwhelming waves of anticipation mingled with terror washed over me. I realized that my mouth had gone all dry. Through the crowd, I could feel his obsidian irises trained on me now and I turned around to meet his gaze. He looked a bit taken aback, as if he hadn't seen this coming, but then his surprise flickered away just as quickly as it had come. He nodded at me, finally acknowledging me for the first time since the start of the Chunin exams.

"Looks like I have got to fight that _Jasmine_ once again," Ryusei moaned. "This is just great."

"You have to face your fears at some point in your life," I told him mutedly, although my words were probably more directed at myself.

"You should hardly be lecturing me," he retorted. "You got that prodigy _Uchiha_. You have finally run out of luck and your fate is already given. There is no way—"

"I am not out of luck," I said with quiet resolve. "In fact, this is just what I had wanted _._ "

* * *

 _"A man that flies from his fear may find that he has only taken a shortcut to meet it."_

 _-J.R.R. Tolkien_

* * *

 **A/N:** Another chapter done! And I am excited for the next one already.

Once again, thank you for reading this chapter and please let me know what you think! I would love your feedback on where this story is going.

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

" _I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what."  
-To kill a mockingbird, Harper Lee_

* * *

No matter how many times Ryusei told me that it was hopeless, that I could never possibly win against Uchiha Itachi, that I was just wasting my time, I kept training, if only just to rile him. "You should go and spend more time with insects and spiders instead of nagging me," I told him heatedly. "Get over your phobia."

"I don't have any phobia of spiders," he declared.

I laughed. "Sure you don't. Do you need my help? I will be happy to transform into your _Jasmine_ for you."

"I will pass on that," he replied dryly. "What exactly do you have against Uchihas, by the way? You lose all your reason when it comes to them."

"How very observant of you."

"Why do you hate them so much?"

Why, indeed.

…

"I need you to activate your kekkei genkai," Shikaku sensei said as he leaned against a tree, his one knee drawn forward. "If you activate your kekkei genkai, only then do you stand a chance against Uchiha Itachi. Understand?"

"But… But Fukuro kekkei genkai is not as common as the Sharingan," I replied a bit irritably. Here I had come to meet him with high hopes of learning some new jutsu and that was all he had to say? "It used to be really common back then but not so much anymore. It has already skipped three generations and has almost become a myth. Even my Obaa-san doesn't have it and she is one of the strongest Fukuros to ever live."

"Her element is Earth," Shikaku sensei said, acting oblivious to my frustration. "She has her feet planted too firmly on the ground and nothing can shake her views once she has established them. She is implacable, like a cliff." He broke off, looking a bit wary. "By the way, whatever is said here, stays here. You won't go and rat me out to your Obaa-san, would you?"

"I might," I grumbled, "if you didn't teach me some good jutsu, that is."

He heaved a sigh. "Troublesome, I shouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning after all."

"Your wife would have thrown you out anyway."

"Right." He stifled a yawn. "Well, as I was saying, though you have inherited many of her qualities, your element remains different; Wind. People with wind element are supposed to open-minded and peace-loving." He looked a bit dubious as he said that. "Now, I am sure that you are well aware of the fact that Wind release is weak against Fire release, which, unfortunately happens to be Itachi's element…"

My eyes narrowed. "What are you getting at?"

"Patience, Miyuki," he said dryly. "I am saying that there is still hope. You can turn this weakness into strength by activating your kekkei genkai. Fukuro's kekkei genkai…"

" _Teishi Jikan,"_ I said. "It is called _Teishi Jikan_."

"Yes, all your ancestors who managed to activate _Teishi Jikan_ had Wind release as their elements. Lady Fukuro was kind enough to allow me to do some research." He smiled beatifically. "This means that Fukuros with Wind release seem to have special affinity for _Teishi Jikan_."

"B-But why?" I sputtered out.

"First recite to me the basics of Teishi Jikan, and then we will proceed."

"Teishi Jikan is the bloodline power that allows the user to stop the time," I said in a monotone. "Time is the greatest ally to Fukuro, after all."

"Exactly."

"You are sounding like Obaa-san day by day, sensei," I muttered.

"Teishi Jikan allows the user to enter a specific dimension where time halts for few moments. In these few moments, the user is able to move and so, is able to do anything while all the other people remain oblivious and so, would have no idea that the time has actually stopped. It is rather a very formidable power, I should say. Invincible even, if it is mastered and honed correctly."

"And rare too," I added pointedly. "But if that is what it will take to defeat Uchiha Itachi, I will do it."

Shikaku sensei looked at me oddly then, scratching his hair. "Somehow, I think you have already entered that dimension once before. So it won't be that hard."

" _What?_ "

"During the deer-horn test, the first time you graduated from the academy, when you broke through my Shadow possession. One moment you were standing there paralyzed and the next moment, you had not only broken free of my jutsu, you had also covered a distance of three meters in a blink of an eye."

"But it is probably because I was moving so fast," I said, still uncertain. "And weren't you asleep at that time?"

"You are fast," he conceded, "but you are not _that_ fast and also, that doesn't explain why you broke free of my jutsu when you were still within the range. And yes, I was asleep but that doesn't mean I was unaware of my surroundings."

"What kind of sleep is that," I muttered and then sighed, a bit skeptically. "Sensei… do you think I can do it?"

The corners of his eyes crinkled in a kind smile. "Of course."

…

"We meet again, _Jasmine_ ," Ryusei said with an apparently confident grin that wavered pathetically at the edges. He was trying to act all brave, but Hana and I could tell he was still terrified of the giant, scuttling spider.

"Did it have to be a spider?" Hana moaned.

"Good thing it isn't a flying cockroach though. Just imagine."

She shuddered. "You are right."

We were sitting at the bleachers of arena and the finals of the Chunin exams had just begun. I had caught glimpses of Itachi few times before and he had seemed just as unperturbed and undefeatable as ever which, of course, had made me even more anxious. I tried to swallow the lump of unease in my throat and focused on our teammate Ryusei instead who was finally gaining an upper-hand after getting thrashed around by Aburame Sumiko and her _Jasmine_ for a long time.

"You _idiot_!" Hana shouted at him when he barely avoided Jasmine's deadly pincers. "Are you trying to get yourself killed? Get up and fight like a Hyuuga!"

"You shut up and let me concentrate!" he yelled back.

I sighed. These two could never stop bickering.

Finally, Hana and I gave a loud whoop of delight when Ryusei was finally declared a winner after an intense battle. He was wearing a poised smile as he limped his way towards us on the aisles, looking vaguely suave and more like a Hyuuga than ever, even when he was battered down. But as soon as he was close enough, I could see that his face was dangerously green.

"Way to go, Ryusei!" Hana slapped him on his back. He immediately retched in response and then emptied out the contents of his stomach at the side of the wall. "Gross!" Hana let out a repulsed sigh before handing him the napkins.

"You can't even look cool even though you won the match." I shook my head. "That's pathetic."

"Shut it!" He growled, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "I could barely stand being so near that big spider and those big hairy legs of that… that _Jasmine_. It seems like a miracle that I won… And besides, I look forward to seeing how _you_ will look after your battle with an Uchiha prodigy."

That shut me up and I pursed my lips in a hard line. He had a point. "Well, at least you won. Even though you look like such a grand loser right now, puking your guts out but still, you won."

"Yeah, he was great," Hana agreed.

Now, Hana always had a knack of embarrassing us in the public but this time, she outdid herself when it was time for Shisui Uchiha's and Kemono Harushi's match. I cringed with mortification when she cheered on Shisui, sounding like she belonged to that annoyingly eccentric cult of fan-girls Shisui seemed to have in Konoha. I knew that Shisui Uchiha was turning out to be notably handsome and attractive even at twelve years of age with his easy, gallant smile, laidback personality and impeccable social skills that had earned him quite lot of admirers. But I hadn't realized that Hana was one of them.

"Keep it down," Ryusei snapped. "You are embarrassing us."

Hana flashed him a look of utter disgust before continuing to swoon over Shisui who was now obviously showing off out there in the arena for the benefit of his fans. "I thought you hated all the people from the noble clans," I choked out.

"Yes, but Shisui-san is different," she said primly. "He is really nice. Not arrogant at all and doesn't think he is above talking to others, unlike that _Itachi Uchiha_."

"So while we were busy training ourselves to death," Ryusei said, his opal-white eyes scornful, "you were busy getting acquainted with that Uchiha Shisui?"

"It is not my fault that I was knocked out of the Chunin exams," she shot back, holding up her chin defiantly even as red bloomed in her cheeks. "And I did train… Shisui-san was kind enough to show me some moves."

My mouth dropped open. When had _that_ development happened? How come I hadn't noticed it? Oh, right, I was busy training myself to death, just as Ryusei had said.

"What kind of ' _moves_ ', may I ask?" Ryusei drawled, twisting his eyebrows at her contemptuously. "I have heard that he shows these ' _moves_ ' to lots of girls."

That immediately earned him a whack on the head from indignant Hana. "Shut up! You are just jealous of him because even though you both are of the same age, he is way stronger than you could ever be!"

I gulped. One must never address the rivalry between Uchihas and Hyuugas, the two most notable and influential clans of Konoha and Hana had done exactly that. I knew both of them had crossed the line and were now sitting on either side of me, sulking and glowering into space with their hands bound across their chests. It wasn't the first time I would have to act as a mediator between them but I was too apprehensive of my upcoming match with Itachi to offer them any words of consolation. When Hana didn't even crack a smile when Shisui won the match, I knew that this pointless banter of theirs had already escalated to something serious.

I heaved a sigh. "Just don't try to kill each other when it is time for my match."

….

Those red eyes again.

Involuntarily, I shivered; not because I hated the color red and not because those eyes were the color of blood. It was because they were beautiful. The color red was beautiful, the color of the lifeblood, of the sun when it was dying at the purple-streaked horizons; in a way, it represented death. But then again, it was also the color of sun when it was reborn after an extended dark night, the color of the eyelids against the placid, warm sunlight.

But just because it was beautiful, didn't mean I hated it any less.

For some reasons, I found myself remembering the incident of the nine-tail fox attack when he had committed murder for the first time with those same enchanting, crimson eyes. These orbs now glowed even more sinisterly than they had at that time, probably because he had three tomoes in his irises now. Just like all the dangerous things were attractive, his eyes too, were beguilingly beautiful, although this beauty spoke of surreal darkness I couldn't fathom. Had he killed even more people after that time? As he stood in front of me, I couldn't help but notice how his dark aura screamed of an impenitent killer and an icy finger of fear stroked my back. But I knew I couldn't let that intimidate me now.

" _Uchiha Itachi_ ," I greeted with as much venom as I could inject in my voice.

" _Fukuro Miyuki_ ," he said almost silkily and then inclined his head to one side, as if measuring me up. "You caught up fast."

"I told you I will."

There was a hint of smirk over his face and I could tell that in his own way, he approved of me. "But I never thought we would face each other like this. Fate has strange way of working."

"It sure has."

"Forfeit this match now."

I wasn't sure if my ears had heard correctly. " _What?_ "

"I said forfeit now," he repeated patiently and then a small furrow appeared in his forehead as if he was having a debate with himself. "I don't want to hurt you."

I tightened my fist until all my tendons stood out as a wave of fury submerged me in. Was he trying to mock me? Was he trying to shake my resolve? "Funny," I spat out sardonically. "You didn't seem to care about that when you left me on the forest floor to die earlier."

"You were hardly dying."

"I could have," I pointed out.

"But you didn't. I made sure."

I scowled and my fists shook. What was he saying? I stared at him warily, looking for the signs of weakness, anything that could betray what he was thinking but found none. Those coal-black locks of his had gotten even longer and were tied behind in a ponytail with few strands billowing gently in front of his face. His posture was gracefully serene and he looked almost bored, as if he wasn't standing there for a battle but to observe something tedious. But I knew his guard was up. He was like the breeze, silent and complacent, but at the same time touching each and everything with his eyes and that was what made him a terrifying opponent.

"What do you—" I started and then shook my head. I decided it was better to put an end to this small, pointless chitchat because I knew he was doing this just to make me unsteady on my feet, whether intentionally or unintentionally, I knew not. "I don't care if you hurt me physically," I said through gritted teeth, taking up my stance, "I can forgive you for that easily, but quit asking me to give up. I am not as weak as you think. I won't forgive you if you tried to hurt my _pride_ as a shinobi!"

And then I lunged forward.

"If that is what you want." He smirked and raised his arms, getting ready to meet my attack headlong with a grace of a shinobi who had obliterated his opponents countless times before.

We engaged in taijutsu first. My fists collided with his with considerable force but he blocked all my moves sinuously and dexterously, not faltering even once. "You are angry," he noted, blocking my kick and holding my ankle a prisoner with his strong fingers. "That is why your moves are so predictable. You can't win from me if you let your emotions guide your attacks."

"Don't patronize me, Uchiha," I said through gritted teeth, straining my leg to free it from his vice-like grip. "I will defeat you in my own way!"

"I would like to see that." His grip on my ankle tightened.

Anger coursed through me at the challenging lilt in his voice but no matter how hard I struggled, he showed no intentions of releasing my ankle, so I decided to put my hands to use. He maneuvered my fists away from his face swiftly and confined both my wrists in his one hand with surprising strength. "You are fast enough to keep up with me," he drawled, pulling me forward, "but you lack strength."

So, he had already pinpointed my weakness.

I glared at him, clenching my jaw, a bit disoriented to find that his face was now only few inches away from mine and his soft, raven hair fluttering in the wind was tickling my cheeks. For a while, our proximity had me incapacitated and I could feel the familiar heat rising on my cheeks; he saw that and it made him smirk, much to my mortification. If he was using this tactic to sidetrack me, it was working marvelously. Also, I could hear the crowd cheering on Itachi in the background, much to my chagrin.

" _Are you crazy_?" Hana yelled at me from the sidelines. "Break free already! You look like a chicken standing on one leg."

That does it! "Let go—!" I growled at Itachi.

"Break free yourself, if you can, that is."

"Or I am going to _disembowel_ you!" I snarled, flailing my limbs to no avail.

"Again, those empty threats," he said with that insufferable, sardonic grin. "You haven't changed much, I see."

"I am no longer the same Miyuki you remember," I bit out. "I have… gotten stronger."

"Prove it then."

He was challenging me; I could see it in his eyes. He was deliberately provoking me. _Well, if that is what he wants_ , I thought furiously. "I was saving it for later but…" I trailed off and immediately began summoning my chakra, to unlock the gate to that specific dimension... " _Teishi Jikan_!" I shouted and just like that, I was free.

Not only did I get the time to free myself from his grip, but also in that infinitesimal moment, in which the time had stopped for Itachi, I managed to land a kick on his face before the gate to the time-dimension closed and everything returned to normal. To my extreme, almost vindictive satisfaction, I saw Itachi flying in the opposite direction and falling to the ground.

Whole arena had now gotten awfully quiet with daze and incredulousness; they had probably not expected their beloved prodigy to take a direct hit like that. I almost had to resist an urge to laugh evilly like some maniac and allowed myself a smile of victory instead. Yes, I was never a terribly humble person, not in front of my nemesis of lifetime at least.

"…I see." He wiped off the trail of blood from the side of his mouth as he raised himself up to the standing position once again, smirking as he did so. Even from where I was standing, I could see approval and acknowledgement in his eyes. "So, you managed to activate your kekkei genkai. You are full of surprises, _Miyuki_."

I was a bit unsettled to hear him use my first name so casually, as if he had been doing it countless times before but I wasn't about to let that get to me in my small moment of glory. I could tell that he had done that deliberately to make me drop my guard; everything he did on the battlefield was a tactic. So I returned his piercing stare with a smile of my own. "And you were asking me to forfeit," I said. Yes, I was looking for an apology.

"Forgive me; I underestimated you," he said. "So, as it turns out, you are a challenge for me after all. I won't go easy on you now."

"Good!"

Next time I used the _Teishi Jikan_ , I sent him flying yet again but to my dismay, that conceited look over his face never went away even though he was obviously surprised by my abilities, which led me to think that he definitely had some kind of strategy worked out.

His hands moved rapidly through the series of hand-signs and then the signature blast of fire emerged from his mouth, which I dodged promptly using the replacement jutsu. But I could tell that my movements were soon slowing down as I tried to keep avoiding his successive fireball jutsus. "Just as I expected, this _Teishi Jikan_ of yours has taken too much of your chakra. Isn't that right?" He was teasing me now. "Let's see how long you can keep this up."

Just how much chakra did _he_ have anyway? I wondered as he relentlessly sent one fireball after another in my direction. Finally, at one point I couldn't dodge them at all and had to use _Teishi Jikan_ once again. When the time halted, I immediately looked for Itachi but he was standing there frozen, a good twenty meters away from me and there was no way I could reach there in time… But I tried anyway and just as I was running in his direction, everything returned back to normal.

"So!" he said smugly, smiling slightly. "Your limit to stop time is three seconds only."

I dropped to my knees, panting heavily with sweat dripping from my forehead.

"Get up right now and fight, Miyuki!" Hana shouted, pumping her fist in the air, embarrassing me yet again. "Don't let that get you down!"

"I know," I muttered and then turned to Itachi. "How…How did you figure my limit out?"

"Judging from your speed and the distance you covered in blink of an eye, I calculated your limit. Arithmetic has always been my strong point, I am afraid," he drawled. "I deliberately stayed out of your way and forced you to use your kekkei genkai to check its limit. Not only that, I also know that it takes tremendous amount of your chakra. So in conclusion, it won't be a problem for me after this."

A wave of desperation washed over me as I raised myself up to stand in front of him again on my trembling knees. I glowered at him then, hating those confident, detestable red eyes. I knew he wasn't called a genius for nothing but this demonstration of his analytical skills only served to make me hate him with even more ferocity than before. Also, I was deeply aggravated by the uselessness of my own kekkei genkai. Why couldn't my bloodlines bestow upon me something as splendid as Sharingan? " _Dammit_!" I whispered.

"Are you an _imbecile_?" Grandmother bellowed from where she was sitting near the elders, making me wince. "How _dare_ you let him figure out your limit and dishonor the name of Fukuro? Wait till you get home!"

Several people in the crowd snickered at that but I ignored them all and focused on Itachi instead.

As he stood there scrutinizing me, I could take some comfort in the fact that he was not unscathed either. He was panting slightly too, exhausted by the constant use of his fireball jutsus and the side of his cheek was swollen and bruised. I knew that it was a big achievement, considering he was an Uchiha prodigy and the crowd seemed to appreciate this, but it was nowhere enough for me. I had already trained so hard _, too hard_ to be satisfied with just this, to give up now.

Taking out my shurikens, I darted forward once again with renewed determination but suddenly, I realized that the three tomoes in his eyes were spinning ominously. The aura around him had shifted to a more foreboding one and the tension emanating from his form was almost tangible.

 _Genjutsu_!

But it was already too late to break the eye-contact now.

"I wasn't going to use this on you," he was saying in a soft, menacing voice, "but you leave me no choice."

The world around me dissolved away and two-dimensional world replaced everything. I watched in horror, as my hands turned into papers. _It is just a genjutsu_ , I told myself frantically, trying to dispel it the way Shikaku-sensei had taught me to but my hands were too light… I couldn't put them together into a seal. Genjutsu had always been my weakness and also, I knew it was quite impossible to break free of it alone. But I _was_ by myself; I had no one. I was alone.

In front of me, I could see those cruel, callous, crimson eyes of his but I could expect no help from them. He was telling me that through this genjutsu; perhaps he was the one who was intensifying these feelings of sheer loneliness exponentially because no matter how much I tried to tell myself that I had my grandmother and friends now, I couldn't break free from the shackles of these terrifying feelings. Perhaps these sentiments had always resided in the deep recesses of my mind and he had just dug them out.

I felt suffocated, as if I was buried under an avalanche, as if the stifling pressure over my chest would never abate… To my horror, he had already turned his back on me and was walking away.

And no matter how much I wanted to run after him, I couldn't even move an inch with my papery feet. "No!" I choked out desperately. "Don't leave me here, _Itachi_!"

But his receding figure disappeared, along with the Uchiha crest and perpetual darkness engulfed me.

When I woke up again, I could see the sky, the vast, endless azure sky with tinge of vermillion and purple at the western horizon. The sun burnt red as it silently approached the western horizons and I wished it would take me away to wherever it went in the nights, to hide me away from all these people who were now cheering for Itachi. I realized I was lying on my back in the arena and probably few minutes had elapsed since Itachi had been declared a victor.

"You okay?" I heard a voice nearby. It was Itachi and his eyes were no longer malicious red but comforting obsidian, like a kind, night sky full of stars. I didn't know why looking at him now like this filled me up with overwhelming longing, so much that I almost wanted to embrace him, to hold him tight, to prevent him from walking out on me ever again. But for now I felt too exhausted and emotionally drained to even move an inch and wistful tears filled my eyes instead.

 _No, I am not okay._

"I apologize," he said, sounding genuinely repentant. His eyes widened slightly with alarm at the sight of the tears swimming in my eyes. "That kind of genjutsu was uncalled for. I shouldn't have done that… It was a dirty trick."

 _Stay with me this time._

"Go away," I muttered, turning my face away from him. Couldn't he just leave to let me cry in peace and wallow in my despair? Yes, it was all his stupid, _stupid_ genjutsu's fault anyway that I was a pathetic, emotional mess right now even though I knew that he had not, by any means, fabricated those feelings; they had always been inside of me.

Still, I wanted to shout at him, to pull his hair out but I knew I had no right to hold the fact that he had actually played with my emotions, against him because that was what real shinobis did anyway; he had every right to exploit my weaknesses in the battlefield. Also, he had given me clear warning beforehand… But yes, maybe I hadn't expected him to be quite that ruthless.

He didn't move from where he was crouched down beside me and I could sense his obvious reluctance before he reached out and touched my wet cheek gently with his knuckles. "Did I hurt you?"

 _Yes, but I probably hurt you more three years ago._

"No," I said in a hoarse voice, holding myself stiffly away from his soothing, feather-light touch, "I am… I am glad you didn't go easy on me. This is the way I had wanted it to be."

"Then why are you crying?"

"I am not crying."

"Yeah right," he scoffed, running the pads of his fingers over my cheek and then showing me the glistening wetness there. "Then what is this?"

I sighed. "Maybe it is raining."

"Stop looking so defeated and get up," he ordered, grabbing my arm and tugging me up in a sitting position. "This kind of look doesn't suit you. You didn't lose entirely… Not yet."

I blinked the teardrops off my eyelashes. "What are you saying? Do you want me to admit defeat in public and pronounce you the victor? Do you plan to humiliate me even more than—"

"Hardly. Everybody knows I am already the winner without you admitting defeat." He gave me an ironic look before holding out his two fingers in front of me. I recognized the gesture immediately after a brief moment of bewilderment. A seal of reconciliation.

 _You remembered._

He grinned then, making my heart flutter like wings of butterfly for some unfathomable reason. "But I feel guilty," he went on, "so I will let you take out your frustration on me."

This time I made sure I broke his fingers.

 _You remembered. But it doesn't change anything._

* * *

" _It is very easy to defeat someone, but it is very hard to win someone."_

 _-Anonymous_

* * *

 ** _AN:_** I am really sorry for the lateness of the chapter. College is catching up on me; I had loads of tests to give and wards to attend... But I am glad I got to write this chapter in the end.

Oh well, I debated over letting Miyuki kick Itachi's ass in this one but then again, I am not trying to turn her into some sort of prodigy. I want her to be someone strong yet relatable and honestly, one prodigy is more than enough... 'Teishi Jikan' means _halt the time_ in Japanese and although it is not something really unique or extraordinary, I have my reasons for giving her this power as you will see later on. X) I hope I didn't mess this chapter up though.

Also, I am not exactly sure how Hyuuga's classification into main-house and branch-house works out, but consider this: Ryusei's dad is probably Hyuuga Hiashi's first cousin and the elder sibling in his family, which makes him and Ryusei belong to the Main-house, according to my logic at least.

Once again, thank you for all those who reviewed and read this story. I appreciate it! Also I really need your feedback on this chapter as well.

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

" _We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."_

 _-Oscar Wilde_

* * *

Hyuuga Ryusei was unbearable.

In the last few days, he didn't even once let us both forget that fact that he was the only one who had won the third stage match in the Chunin Exams. He kept bragging about how he had splendidly tackled his phobia of insects by meeting it head-on, even though he would still throw a fit whenever we 'accidentally' put a beetle in his stew. "I will be a Chunin way before you two," he told us, presumptuous as ever. "I do feel a bit bad for you two though. We might not even be in the same team after this so tell you what, let's go to Ichiraku's ramen shop after this ceremony is over. It will be my treat."

"Don't be so sure of that!" Hana glared at him. "You were lucky that your opponent was easy."

"Fighting with _Jasmine_ was not at all easy," Ryusei contradicted huffily. "And Sumiko Aburame happens to be a very capable Kunoichi, unlike some."

"You think that only because you have Entomophobia," she shot back. "You are mortally afraid of all the insects and that was why you had such a hard time beating Sumiko Aburame."

I heaved a sigh of exasperation, but I was secretly relieved that Hana and Ryusei had decided to forget all about their fight during the third stage Chunin exams and both were back to their usual, harmless bickering. We were standing in the Village's square along with all other genins who had appeared for the Chunin exams and were waiting for the Hokage and the elders to make their appearance on the stage ahead and to announce who had qualified as the Chunins.

"Oh, if it isn't our _rivals_!" We turned around to see Shisui Uchiha approaching us through the crowd with his usual, disarming smile. Sumiko Aburame followed close behind and I immediately took a breath of relief when I didn't see Itachi anywhere.

"Shisui-san!" Hana said breathlessly, quickly fidgeting with the sleeves of the lemon-yellow qipao she was wearing, obviously happy to see him.

Ryusei's eyes, however, narrowed to slits. "What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded rudely.

"Well, I am here to be announced a Chunin, of course," Shisui replied without batting an eye and then added with sham modesty, "or at least, I hope I will be."

"I am pretty sure you will be!" Hana said enthusiastically to which Shisui responded with a genial, almost diffident smile.

"Your confidence in me is duly appreciated, Inuzuka-san, although I am still a bit nervous. Let's wait and see what happens."

This time Ryusei and I, both glowered at Hana and I couldn't help feeling a bit betrayed by her; she hadn't expressed this much confidence in either of us and we were both her team-mates, for crying out loud. Though I had decided to get rid of my prejudice against Shisui, I still couldn't bring myself to like him. For one thing, his charming smile that had dazzled so many people just seemed fake and insincere to me; he was, after all, an Uchiha, a part of a clan that might or might not have attacked the village with the nine-tail fox and killed my Uncle.

"Oi Itachi, over here!" My eyes widened and I shot out of my reverie to find Shisui gesturing over my shoulder. Just as I was about to slip away surreptitiously, I felt _his_ tangible presence right behind me. My shoulders stiffened but I refused to turn around. For some reasons, I was unable to move, not even when his forearm whispered against my sleeve.

"Hello," Itachi said in a flawless voice, appearing in my right peripheral vision. "Hyuuga-san, Inuzuka-san, Fukuro, Sumiko, Shisui."

Ryusei, Hana and I gave him a curt nod.

"You should hang out more with the people of your age, Itachi," Shisui told him chidingly, grinning. "It is hard to imagine what you like in the company of those old geezers anyway."

"It is not like I seek out their company by myself," Itachi said dryly. "They can't seem to leave me alone."

"Oh right," Shisui chuckled. "How can they leave a prodigy such as you alone?" He swung an arm around Itachi, who looked faintly irritated. "So tell me, O' cousin of mine, what did that creepy mummy-guy say to you? Was he telling you which grave he crawled out from hundreds of years ago?"

We all exchanged uncomfortable glances with each other, wondering if we being intrusive by just standing there but then Sumiko flashed us a rueful, don't-mind-them-they-do-that-all-the-time smile. From Shisui's description, I had a slight hunch who they were talking about, even though others looked completely clueless about it. I had seen this 'mummy-guy' visit the Nisshoku shrine once; Danzo Shimura.

"He wants to recruit me to the Root," replied Itachi dispassionately. "Now remove this arm from my shoulder before I do it for you."

"Aw, don't be such a killjoy, Itachi." Shisui tightened his arm around Itachi's neck, almost strangling him with his chokehold and smiled impishly, obviously enjoying Itachi's aggravation. "Even if you became a big, bad ANBU member of Root, you will always be my little cousin to me. But I will suggest that you watch out for that mummy-guy... Before you know it, you will start looking like you walked out some grave too if you spent too much time with him." Though his tone was still light-hearted, I could tell that Shisui's eyes were dead serious with unseen implications of something grave, almost as if he was furtively giving a hidden warning to Itachi.

A moment passed between them before Itachi merely scoffed and then shrugged nonchalantly. "Remove that hand this instant," he ordered again although I could sense that they both had both reached some kind of mutual understanding without having said a word about it. For some reasons, it made me feel a bit uncomfortable. They were obviously very close.

"Geez, stop acting like I have got leprosy." Shisui smirked as he dragged away his arm with agitated slowness, probably to piss off Itachi even more. "Tell you what, let's have match right after this. We haven't sparred in a while. And also keep in mind that you owe me a dinner if I became a Chunin. I already have my eyes on fancy restaurant that just opened and I have heard that their Dangos are particularly delicious."

 _Dangos_? I gulped. Of course, he liked Dangos as well. I had seen him dragging Itachi to Konoha's Dango shop on numerous occasions before in the past years, but I had always found a way to leave the shop whenever that happened to escape the awkwardness. And that was exactly what I was feeling right now; _awkward_. Just when I was about to duck away into the bustling crowd, Shisui, the insufferable brat that he was, stopped me. "Speaking of which, Fukuro Miyuki," he exclaimed, reaching forward to grab my hand and pump it ardently. "I would fervently like to thank you for giving Itachi such a good thrashing and making him lose the bet against me."

" _What_?" I said with feigned politeness, a bit crestfallen that my plans of slipping away unseen had been thwarted. Also I had no idea what he was talking about. I had certainly not given Itachi any sort of thrashing; on the contrary, Itachi had been the one who had given _me_ a thrashing.

"Before Chunin exams, we had made a bet," he explained. "If someone managed to bring Itachi down to his knees just once throughout the duration of Chunin Exams, Itachi would have to buy me special Dangos from the Dango-shop, the ones with raspberry syrup and roasted peanuts."

"I am… I am glad you won the bet," I deadpanned, as my hand struggled in Shisui's grip like a fish.

"Let go of her hand, Shisui," Itachi said in a dry voice. "She can't stand Uchihas, if you are too dense to notice."

I quickly snatched my hand out of Shisui's hands, still stubbornly pretending as if Itachi wasn't standing there right beside me even though I was hyperaware of our proximity.

"You know when you disappeared in the arena," Shisui went on, ignoring Itachi, "and then reappeared to deliver that kick on Itachi's face, I literally laughed out loud. You should have seen the look on Fugaku-sama's face as his precious prodigy went flying. It was priceless!"

I quickly decided that Shisui wasn't that bad after all and managed a genuine smile this time, flushing for some inexplicable reasons. I just didn't know how to take compliment, probably because I got them so less often. "You… you don't have to flatter me, you know."

Hana scowled at me, shaking her head.

"No, I am not just flattering you," Shisui said seriously. "Literally, it was amazing how you took Itachi off-guard and made him see the stars—"

"That," Itachi finally decided to intervene in a dangerous tone of voice, "is enough, Shisui. Fukuro Miyuki just took by surprise. I hadn't foreseen that she would manage to awaken her kekkei genkai."

"Well, that was surprising," Shisui conceded. "Her kekkei genkai is pretty interesting, isn't it?"

"Aa," agreed Itachi. I could feel his piercing eyes on me now. I desperately wanted to turn around to see what lurked in their depths but I was too embarrassed of my earlier humiliating defeat by his hand to do so. After all, I had cried, actually _cried_ in front of him, dammit! I almost cringed in shame once again as I remembered those most unfortunate, disgraceful moments of my life that had led to Obaa-san's endless tirade after they were over. Thankfully, my attention was diverted when Sandaime Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi appeared on the stage, followed closely by the elders and my grandmother. For some reasons Danzo Shimura, aka, the mummy-guy stood out.

Sandaime made a usual, long speech about the will of fire passed on from generations to generations and the honor of a shinobi, which I slept through, although I could tell that Itachi was obviously paying attention as he stood beside me. I couldn't help feeling a slight disdain towards him; his ambition to be a perfect shinobi (if he wasn't already one) was a bit pathetic, in my opinion. But was he really the perfect shinobi though? Did he really think only for the betterment of Konoha, even when Uchihas seemed to hold a strong grudge against Konoha itself, according to grandmother? I decided I didn't really know anything about him.

"We have carefully observed the techniques and strategies of each and every contestant who took part in these Chunin exams and by our unanimous decision," Sandaime stated, "the council and I have chosen four shinobis from Konoha who would be promoted to the Chunin level. These include Shisui Uchiha from the Uchiha clan, Akiko Senju from the Senju clan, Kotomi Nara from the Nara clan and finally, Itachi Uchiha from the Uchiha clan. Congratulations! It is the matter of big honor and the will of fire lives on in you!"

There was a loud round of applause which I joined in, albeit half-heartedly. Of course, I had already known that I would never be able to become a Chunin like this but I couldn't help feeling a bit disappointed. Beside me, Hana was fervently congratulating Shisui who was obviously gloating, while Ryusei stood there with dumbfounded expressions over his face. "I… didn't make a Chunin?" he stammered in daze, his white eyes incredulous and full of disappointment. Though his endless bragging had been really irritating, I couldn't help feeling a bit sorry for him. He had even won the match and he was clearly still unworthy of being a Chunin. Also, I knew that Hyuuga clan had high expectations from him and there would probably be a hell to pay once he went home.

"Don't worry," I told him, squeezing his shoulder. "Looks like we are in the same boat, after all."

"I know you both are disappointed," Hana said, smiling brightly, as she swung her arm around both of us, drawing us towards her. "But aren't you happy we get to be in the same team as genins for a bit longer?"

Ryusei didn't respond and looked as if he was still in that perplexed state of denial. Then his shoulders sagged and he sighed. "You are right," he muttered at last.

"Don't worry; we will try next year again together, Ryusei," Hana said as she turned us both around with her arm still around our necks. To my surprise and horror, I came face to face with Itachi and suddenly, I was filled with the realization that he was a Chunin now while I was still stuck being a measly genin. And here I was supposed to surpass him.

He held my gaze a prisoner, drawing me in with the gravity of those enigmatic, obsidian eyes and I was unable to look away. The celebrating crowd around us seemed to disappear into a blur of colors and indecipherable sounds and for that surreal, fleeting moment that seemed so long, I felt as if two of us were the only ones standing in the Village square, as if in an eye of hurricane. Suddenly, it all seemed stupid and irrational that I had been avoiding him like a plague earlier and slowly, a smile touched my lips. After all, he had to beat _me_ to become a Chunin; he wouldn't forget me after this. "Congratulations," I told him sincerely.

For a while, he just stared at me and then a small smile graced his lips, like a caress of moonshine over the night sky. "Arigato… Miyuki," he said.

…

We no longer pretended as if the other didn't exist. Whenever we would come face to face, which happened rather often at Hokage's office, Itachi would give me slight nod of recognition and say hello or occasionally ask me how I was doing, although his words were always civil and a bit impersonal. Perhaps it was because he had now become a bit more laconic and concise with his conversation and didn't like to indulge in mindless chatter, the way he used to when we were both children. Needless to say, he received same kind of response from me. Perhaps, we had both become more 'mature' now.

For a while, I was glad that we had abandoned our childhood grudges but then it began to bother me a bit. It seemed like Itachi didn't really care at all; he was treating me like he treated everyone else. But wasn't it better this way? It had always created awkwardness whenever we acted we didn't know each other even when we obviously did; at least, I didn't have to care about those cringe-worthy scenarios any more. Truthfully, I didn't really have much time to dwell over it since I was always busy training with my team or going on the missions.

I had also started thinking a lot. I was in that stage of my life when I was discovering that many of the things adults (namely my grandmother) had told me were completely pointless and the sentences like, ' _I must protect the village_ ,' and ' _the will of fire lives in heart of every shinobi of the Leaf village,_ ' that I had been hearing since I was born, just didn't make sense to me anymore. Just what did it mean to be a ninja anyway?

I used to brood over it a lot as I took walks through the woods in the outskirts of the village in contemplative silence. I had hurt many people on the missions and I wondered if I would have to face retribution for it someday, even if I had done it for the good of the village. Was it alright to abandon the humanity for patriotism?

Apparently, it was alright for Itachi. He had joined ANBU at the tender age of eleven. Whenever I passed him, I would look searchingly into his dark, fathomless eyes. How many had he already killed? What were his eyes saying? How many people had looked into his eyes with intense hatred and cursed at him as he sent them to hell? Didn't that all come back to haunt him at nights? Was he sleeping properly? How many enemies had he already made? Was it all even worth it?

He always looked so unruffled and sure of himself, as if he never regretted anything in his life but sometimes, I could see profound oceans of loneliness in his eyes, as if he had already seen—and experienced—too much. I couldn't help but think that his eyes were too mature for his age; it was sad that he probably never really got to enjoy his innocence, having killed at the age of six. It was sad that we were both growing up too fast. It was all very sad.

…..

I became Chunin at the age of twelve, at the third try, along with Ryusei although Hana still had to catch up with us. The limit of my Teishi Jikan had extended to six seconds, after endless training sessions with Shikaku-sensei who had been quite taken by my progress. He beamed at us proudly when we came to him with our Chunin flak jacket and gave us a treat at Ichiraku's ramen shop even though he said that it was 'troublesome' for him since his wife had refused to give him an allowance for the month. I had been quite pleased on becoming a Chunin although there was a strange shadow of darkness lurking in the back of my mind that kept me from feeling completely happy.

"You better catch up with us fast, Hana," Ryusei told her, taking a bite of narutomaki from his ramen. These past two years had made him grow out of the worst of his arrogance and he had clearly gotten a bit more considerate, if not nice.

Hana smiled bravely as she slurped her noodles. "It is good to see you both wearing these flak-jackets even though it doesn't suit you at all, Ryusei."

"What?"

"It makes you look like a scarecrow."

I choked on my ramen soup, snickering. Why was it that everyone seemed to find Ryusei good-looking except for Hana?

"No, it doesn't!" Ryusei argued hotly.

"Che, what a drag… Now both of you," Shikaku-sensei covered both their heads affectionately with his heavy hands. "Start acting mature, especially you, Ryusei. Chunins aren't supposed to react to slightest provocations."

Hana stuck out a tongue at him, smiling superiorly. "Next year," she vowed, "I will catch up with you both. Mark my words." Haimarus _woofed_ and wagged their tails excitedly, nibbling on the _menma_ Hana had given to them from her ramen.

Suddenly, a silver-haired ANBU member, Kakashi Hatake appeared to our right and nodded at Shikaku-sensei. "Fukuro Miyuki, is it you?" he said, eyeing me above his mask with his droopy eye. "Danzo-sama wishes to see you now."

I choked on my ramen again. " _What_?"

"Why?" Ryusei demanded, aghast.

"I don't have anything to do with him," I said almost defensively, my voice slightly shrill. "I have never even met him before!" I was looking pleadingly at Shikaku-sensei, willing him to say no to Kakashi Hatake but sensei stared at me warily and then finally, he nodded.

"Be careful, Miyuki," he said in my ear just before I left. "I know it is troublesome but stay on your guard and remember what is important to you. Whatever you do, _don't_ get swayed by him, understand?"

I gulped. "Hai."

I followed Kakashi Hatake's swift and focused movements, anxiety ricocheting in my stomach. Of course, I had heard many whispered things about Danzo Shimura, and none of them were ever good. "Relax, Fukuro," Kakashi Hatake said with an unexpected kindness, coming from an ANBU member. "He can't do anything to you unless you agree to it."

"I know."

…..

"I will be blunt with you, girl. I want you to join the Foundation," Danzo Shimura said, appraising me with his single cold eye that appeared like a beetle set in his bandaged head. It gave me shivers and a wave of revulsion washed over me which I forced myself to suppress, as I sat there on one knee in a respectful manner my grandmother had taught me. Shisui was right; he really did look like he had crawled out of some grave.

"Why?" I rasped out.

"Your kekkei genkai, Fukuro Miyuki," he said with relish barely hidden in his emotionless voice as he held me with that intimidating gaze of his, "can be put to a great use in the Foundation. It will be such a shame if you wasted it in some other field."

"…I see," I said. Of course, my grandmother had warned me about this. "You are saying that my kekkei genkai can be put to a great use in assassination missions, right?"

He didn't even have decency to deny it. "Yes, I believe that is what you were born to be. An assassin."

My eyes narrowed and my chakra spiked, reacting to my anger. How dared he suggest that I was born to be something as heartless and immoral as an assassin?

"With the right incentive, you can make an invaluable member to the Foundation," he went on, ignoring my fury. "You have what it takes to shoulder the darkness; it is there in your eyes. We will train you and you will become stronger, Fukuro Miyuki, stronger than you had ever hoped to be. Even though you are quite weak right now and your skills are still unpolished."

"I am sorry," I bit out, "but I don't think I would like to become a _Zombie_!"

Silence. " _A what_?" he enunciated at last; his single eye showing a hint of surprise for the first time.

"A living dead," I elaborated, no longer afraid of him as my anger had already chased away the fear, the way it always did. "I would like to be a real shinobi, not _a zombie or an assassin, who lives to kill others!_ "

"How, may I ask, is a shinobi different from an assassin?" he intoned coldly. "Why would you like to be called a shinobi and not an assassin, even when you will be doing the same thing either way? Konoha wouldn't be standing on its feet right now if it wasn't for the Root, even as Hokage takes the whole glory. Even if we do operate from the darkness. We are willing to sacrifice our morals, our honor, our glory, all for the sake of the village and this is what being a real shinobi is about."

His words sent an icy tendril of unease slithering down my back and involuntarily, I shivered. "I…I don't want to join the Foundation," I said at last, trying to keep the tremors from my voice. "Forgive me for my insolence but I just don't think I am capable of it."

He scrutinized me for a long time, making me feel like a small ant he was going to crush under his foot. "Fine," he uttered at last. "You may leave, girl, though I am warning you; you _will_ regret rejecting my offer."

The Root's entire building was bathed in eerie darkness as I escaped Danzo's chambers. Several Root members were walking around, and seemed to be observing me rather circumspectly through their unreadable ANBU masks. It could be because I was just getting paranoid with Danzo's words of warning rebounding heavily against the corners of my head, but I could feel someone's eyes over me. I quickened my pace, longing to be in the safe confines of the Nisshoku shrine.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I stepped outside the building, inhaling in the cool breeze to calm down my distraught nerves. Just as I was about to trudge off in the dark night, a gloved hand wrapped tightly around my mouth and my back was slammed hard into someone's chest. I whimpered, quickly reaching for my ninja gear but the assailant's reflexes were faster and he already had both my wrists captured in his free hand. I immediately tried to bite off his hand but my teeth clanged off the metal-guard over his glove. "Be quiet and follow me," he whispered roughly in my ear and it was hard to tell whose voice it had been, even though there was a peculiar familiarity in the tone. Also his chakra was dexterously concealed which meant that he was probably a very skilled shinobi.

My heart was thudding heavily against my chest and I continued to struggle in vain as the assailant dragged me into an alleyway behind the building. Had Danzo already ordered this person to kill me for refusing his offer? I couldn't afford to die like this, not like this…

I was just about to use Teishi Jikan when the assailant slammed me against the alley's wall, still holding my arms behind my back. "Let go!" I hissed, trying to summon my chakra.

"Conceal your chakra!" he ordered, with a cold kiss of kunai at my throat. I could feel his breath on the nape of my neck and it sent tendrils of chills creeping over my skin.

"Are you insane?" I gasped out. "Do you think I will just stand here and _help_ you abduct me—?"

He released me completely. "It is me."

With adrenaline surging heavily through my muscles, I turned around to see an ANBU member standing there close behind me, still holding a kunai at my throat. He lifted his mask over his left ear to reveal his face with dim, murky moonlight glancing off its familiar contours. Itachi Uchiha.

I just gaped at him with my whole body shuddering, unable to comprehend what was happening. For a fleeting moment, undiluted relief washed over me at the sight of his face but then it was quickly replaced by fear once again when his kunai dug slightly, menacingly into my skin. "Conceal your chakra, Fukuro," he hissed urgently. "They are keeping an eye on you."

"Who?" I choked out.

"Danzo's men."

"Did he… Did he send you to kill me?" I stammered, panting heavily. " _Are you going to kill me_?"

His midnight eyes widened fractionally before he quickly removed the kunai from my throat and slipped it back in his ninja gear. "Of course not," he said, looking slightly baffled.

"Then is there a reason why you should be holding a kunai at my throat?" I spat out, glaring at him witheringly as I resumed my breathing and rubbed my sore wrists.

"I merely threatened you so that you would comply with me without any questions," he replied calmly. "I didn't have time to explain since Danzo's men were keeping tabs on you. I didn't mean any harm."

"Good to know," I sneered. I had already concealed my chakra the way he had instructed although I continued to glower at him suspiciously. "Well, what do you want, _Uchiha_?" I demanded irately.

He leaned on the other wall of the alley, his arms folded against his chest in a nonchalant gesture as if he hadn't been holding a kunai at my throat just a moment ago. "I want to know why you met up with Danzo."

"That," I said through gritted teeth, "is none of your business."

"Are you refusing to answer me because you are angry?" he asked, lifting a brow inquiringly and appraising me with his dark, piercing eyes. "Or is it because something happened with Danzo that you don't me to know about?"

"I am refusing to answer you because it is none of your business!" I snapped, whirling around and was in the process of making a dramatic exit when Itachi's hand snaked out and wrapped around my arm. He pulled me back and I realized that my face were just inches away from his swirling black eyes that were even more intense and alarming than the Sharingan somehow. "What do you think you are doing?" I sputtered.

"I know I am being nosy," he said slowly, acting completely oblivious to our stifling proximity, "but I want you to tell me what Danzo wanted from you. I can be rather persistent, you see." There was inherent authority in his tone with underlying insinuations of threat, as if he expected me to obey him without questions. I wondered if it was because he was an ANBU now.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked stiffly; he was too close for comfort.

"Are you going to tell me or not?" he retaliated coldly. I could sense the barely concealed impatience in his voice and something about it annoyed me. What right did he have of acting all domineering and menacing? Granted, he was ANBU member now but that didn't mean he could order me around like this.

"Danzo and I are best friends," I exclaimed deliberately with mock happiness, just to annoy him, "we talked about our good old times while having a Jasmine tea. It was—"

"Quit joking around, Fukuro," he clipped, pulling me even closer. "Do you have any idea how dangerous Danzo is?"

I slammed my elbow hard in his ribs and breathed a sigh of relief when he finally released me. "He wanted me to join the Root if you must know," I told him curtly.

His eyes narrowed as he assimilated my words and then he just sighed. "I suspected it… right from the start."

"Excuse me?"

"Fukuro," he said almost wearily, his smoldering eyes boring into me. "Perhaps you shouldn't have awakened your kekkei genkai after all."

His words were like a slap to my face and I sent him a dark glare as a wave of unadulterated fury washed over me. "Are you jealous of me?" I snarled even though I already know that it wasn't possible or even plausible for him to be envious of me in any way. I knew I was acting childish but I didn't care. "You are jealous of my kekkei genkai, aren't you? And that is why you are acting like this. Admit it!"

"Hardly," he bit out sardonically, looking at me as if he found me utterly ludicrous. "Sometimes, you act even more immature than Sasuke. I said that because I know that people like Danzo are going to try and take advantage of you because of your kekkei genkai."

Tense silence followed. "Why do you care?" I asked softly. "It is my problem, not yours. You have nothing to do with it so just stay out of my—"

He ignored me. "Danzo is going to ask you to join the Foundation again," he said tersely instead. "He is going to ask you after every six months and he will threaten you in his own, subtle way until you have no choice but to join him. And when you do, he will brainwash you, brandish you with a Curse-seal so that you will never be able to betray him or get out of the Root in one piece. Do you understand? Now that he has his eyes on you, he won't rest until he has you."

"Well then," I said dully after an extended pause. "Maybe I should go and commit _Seppuku*_ , because I will _die_ before I join the Root!"

"That's the spirit," he responded sarcastically, showing a hint of a smile for the first time. "There is another way out, however, that doesn't include you disemboweling yourself."

"What other way?"

"Join ANBU under Hokage," he replied. "Danzo won't be able to interfere with you if you are under Hokage's direct protection."

"But I don't want to join ANBU!" I exclaimed emphatically. "I don't want to turn into a _zombie_!"

His elegant eyebrow rose in amusement. "A zombie?"

"And besides," I went on, "it's not like ANBU under Hokage is any different from ANBU under Root. Danzo, Hokage, what difference does it make? Both of them want to use me. I… I don't want to become an _assassin_. I want to be a real shinobi with an honor!"

A dark, twisted smirk touched his lips and his raven tresses covered his eyes. "Are you suggesting that I am not a real shinobi?"

I shook my head, resisting an urge to take a step back from his sudden implacable, forbidding aura. "That's not what I—"

"You are right though," he went on inexorably. "I am without honor, am I not? Once you join ANBU, you can hardly care about the things like glory and honor. These are merely… _luxuries_." I could perceive latent fury in his voice, like a destructive maelstrom brewing under the tranquil, still waters of the lake.

I swallowed. "That's not what I meant," I amended in a soft voice.

"Regardless of what you meant, Fukuro," he intoned acerbically. "I just gave you a way out of the Root. I already told you that you cannot just sit and lead a life of a normal shinobi with an extraordinary kekkei genkai such as yours. Konoha _will_ use you, because you are a _shinobi_. You should try and curb these morality issues you seem to be having. Get over it."

Again, I felt like I was being chastised like a child and scowled at the ground. "I don't think you are without an honor," I told him. I didn't know why it mattered to me so much that he believed in me.

"Like I said, I don't care either way."

"Well, you should!" I raised my eyes to direct my vehement glare at him. "I believe you are honorable, even if you are an ANBU member, dammit! Why can't you believe in me?"

His eyes widened at my ferocity and he shook his head, almost wistfully. "You probably don't know how many lives I have taken."

"Even then, can't you believe more in yourself?" Abruptly, it occurred to me that this whole situation was hilarious. I let out a laugh of mirth. "Are we arguing over how _honorable_ you are?"

His eyes lightened. "So it seems."

I heaved a sigh. "I just meant that I don't have what it takes to be in ANBU," I said. "I am not as fearless or determined as you are and I am not someone who can do without some appreciation or glory, these _luxuries_ you say? I cannot hide behind the mask and do everything from the shadows. I am not that selfless, you see. Also, I don't want to kill people indiscriminately… I am not ready to lose myself, not even for the village. I don't…" My voice trailed off. "I am just a human, you see."

He stared at me for a long time, as if trying to unravel me with those intense eyes of his and I felt exceedingly vulnerable and almost stupid under his relentless scrutiny. "Fine, if that's what you think," he said at last. "I won't force you into anything. But you will have to make that decision yourself soon. And also… It is just my opinion but I do think you are strong enough to handle it."

* * *

 **A/N:** A long chapter but finally, it is done. I would really like to thank you all who reviewed. It meant a lot to me and I really, really appreciate it. I am glad that you like Miyuki's development. Although I don't want her to be a Mary-sue, I don't want her to be completely boring either (which can happen if an author is too worried about his character being a Mary-sue) But she will have her own realistic flaws.

Also, I might have probably messed up Hyuuga's branch and main-house system. Sorry for that! But since it isn't of much importance in driving the plot, I will just leave it like that, I guess... Thanks for pointing that out though!

Please review!

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

 _"Pain in inevitable; suffering is optional."_

 _-Haruki Murakami_

* * *

In the shinobi-life, there was always one mission no shinobi has ever been able to forget. A mission that questions all he has ever known and stood for, and leaves an eternal scar in its wake. It is that one changes a shinobi forever.

My one mission as a Chunin was that kind of a mission. I was fourteen years old then.

They patched me up real quick; they said I had fractured arms and ribs, some contusions and other injuries that were relatively nonlethal but the mental lacerations this mission left on my soul were never recorded anywhere in Konoha's hospital. I drifted around in daze after that, as if my feet were never quite touching the ground, as if I had turned into a zombie without even having joined ANBU.

My grandmother offered no words of comfort and with those fierce, shimmering eyes of hers, all she could say was, "I am glad you returned, Miyuki."

But that wasn't what I wanted. She just didn't understand.

I climbed down the endless stairs of the Nisshoku shrine and back up again. Up and down, I went with those owl-gargoyles appraising me sinisterly, derisively, as if mocking me, calling me the biggest failure to ever walk on earth. " _Did you think you would suffer no retribution_?" they seemed to be saying.

Up and down, I went. Back and forth. I kept replaying the events of the mission in my mind until they were etched in there, like inscriptions in a metal and no matter what I did, there was no relief. Up and down. Back and forth. No relief. No escape. No solace.

I walked around Konoha listlessly in silence and then when the night dropped down its slate-black veil, I sat down on the stone bench under a weeping-willow tree and gathered my knees to my chest, watching the languorous moths that danced around the glowing lamp, as if it was their sun. Slowly the moths and the lamp-light blurred away as the tears fell, for the first time after that fateful mission and I allowed myself to indulge in the fake relief they brought. _Just a minute more_ , I promised myself. After all, ninjas weren't supposed to cry. But did I even deserve to be called a ninja after this?

"Fukuro," I heard a familiar voice and froze with my forehead on my knees as I felt someone slide on the stone-bench next to me. "What are you doing here so late at night?"

"Go away, Uchiha," I croaked out in response and slowly, raised my head, allowing my dusky-brown hair to cascade down and cover my face to shield it from his penetrating eyes. But he was relentless.

From my peripheral vision I could see his fingers making their way towards me and I slapped them away. "I said—"

"I heard what you said but I choose to ignore it," he declared smoothly, unfazed by my rebuff and reached forward again to sweep aside the curtain of my hair to look at my face, his inexorable eyes boring into my skin. Suddenly, I felt extremely exposed, as if he was the sunlight, divulging all my pathetic weaknesses and secrets to the world; I could feel all the walls of my fortress crumbling down to dust. Why did he always catch me in the bleakest and most vulnerable moments of my life? It wasn't fair!

"Go on, say it," I said bitterly through clenched teeth. "You must think I am so weak, crying like this."

"I don't think you are weak."

"Yeah right," I scoffed, trying to force my tears back in. I could feel his gentle fingers over my temples, still holding the strands of my hair away. "You probably never shed a tear whole your life."

I couldn't even dare to look at him and he didn't say anything for a while but his fingers moved soothingly in my hair, his touch gentle and cautious, as if he was touching a fragile dandelion that could crumble away any moment. "I am a good listener," he said.

"I don't want to talk to you," I lashed out on him. "You could not possibly understand me. You are always _oh_ _so damn perfect_! You never make mistakes. You have never been through this…" But I knew he was too perceptive and too wise to not understand what I was going through. I was not giving him the credit.

"Try me," he responded dryly and I gritted my teeth at his never-ending patience as another fountain of tears spurted out from my eyes. Yes, I wanted to _hurt_ him, almost. No, I wanted him to hurt _me_.

" _You would probably never let your whole squad die right before your eyes!_ " I snarled at him. "I let them all die. They were all genins, _children_! I let them all be slaughtered right in front of my eyes! They were all crying and looking at me with those pitiful, pleading eyes. I was their captain; they wanted me to rescue them and I…" I was crying without restraint now, my shoulders heaving with sobs. I knew I was getting hysterical but I didn't care. "I couldn't save anyone. One by one, they all were killed before my eyes, _horrendously_. My Teishi Jikan was useless. I was useless… All because I was too weak. All because…"

"Miyuki—"

"Why am I even alive? I can't believe I even have the _audacity_ to be alive after this! How could I be so shameless? Why didn't they just let me die on the forest floor with my squad? Can't you punish me or something? _Hurt me_ , dammit!"

"Miyuki—"

"Don't you dare look at me with eyes full of pity like everyone else does and don't you dare tell me that there was nothing I could have done. If you… If you did, I will impale you against the tree and then commit _seppuku_!"

Suddenly, his hands were on both side of my face and he pulled me closer until I was looking helplessly into his crimson eyes, his tomoes swirling dangerously. "So you want me to hurt you?" he said, "Fine then."

My eyes widened as the world around me dissolved away in a Genjutsu.

I saw their dead faces again, their screams as they called out my name for help. And I was there helpless, unable to do anything, using my Teishi Jikan repeatedly to appear before them until I fainted from chakra exhaustion. And then the enemy left, thinking I was dead… What was Itachi doing, reopening my wounds like this? But hadn't I told him to be cruel to me, to punish me in the first place? But this pain was so unbearable, too unbearable… And then it was all over.

It took me a long time to realize that his strong arms were wrapped around my shuddering form and his hand was in my hair, his fingers ghosting over my scalp gently, tenderly. I clung to him desperately, like a skiff anchoring to shore in the vicious oceans; like he was my harbor. I wondered why I felt so protected like this, with my ear against his steady heartbeat when I shouldn't even be feeling this way. He was supposed to punish me, dammit, not make me feel all secure. It was all wrong. "Itachi…" I whispered, extricating myself from his arms but he held on tighter.

"I am not asking you to forget what happened in that mission," he was saying and even though his tone was harsh, his fingers in my hair were gentle. "In fact, do not _ever_ forget it. Preserve it in a memory-scroll and look at it every day."

I squeezed my eyes shut.

"If you forgot all about it and moved on, you will still be weak. But if you remember everything and just live with it, you will be stronger than you were before this happened. So stop whining and get stronger for the future so that something like this would never happen again, alright?"

" _Alright?_ " he asked again until I meekly nodded my head against his shoulder.

"When did you become such a coward?" he went on tonelessly. "Death is just an easy way out. Live with your guilt and remorse."

I thought he would release me the moment I had calmed down but he didn't. I could feel his warm breath on the roots of my hair and his pulse against my forehead. He smelled of rain and fire, a strange combination, the essence of which was so pure and calming and made me feel so secure. He was so kind, too kind and I didn't deserve any of it.

I opened my wet eyes to the starlit world, feeling strangely light and so tired. Perhaps all the week of sleeplessness was finally catching up with me. "Thank you… Itachi," I whispered just before I lost a long battle to unconsciousness.

When I woke up, I realized I was on the familiar futon in my own room in the Nisshoku shrine and the sun was streaming in from the window. Baffled and disoriented, I raised myself, feeling my hair tickle my elbows as I blinked owlishly against the dazzling sunshine. The events of the last night swam vividly in my head and I groaned, cringing almost.

"Miyuki, are you awake now?" The wooden door slid open and my grandmother barged in, along with the strong whiff of cabbage soup that made my nose wrinkle, but even so on that particular day, I didn't hate it as much as I usually did. At least, I could always associate this atrocious stench with home. Normality was always welcome.

"Are you alright now?" she asked gingerly, placing a bowl of cabbage soup on the small kotatsu-table next to my futon.

"Hai, Obaa-san."

"When did you return last night? I didn't hear you come in even though I waited by the door."

I gulped and heat bloomed in my cheeks involuntarily. So, it hadn't been just a dream as I was hoping it would be, after all. Had Itachi carried me home through the window? Moreover, how could I have fallen asleep in his presence anyway? How could I have let down my guard in front of an Uchiha, my sworn enemy? My fingers curled tightly in my blanket as I fully remembered the incidents of the last night in lucid details… How could I have _cried_ in his presence, dammit? How could I have allowed myself to act in such a disgraceful and inappropriate manner in front of him? I was a kunoichi, for heaven's sake! Had I completely lost it?

"Why are flushing? Do you have fever?" She raised her palm to my forehead to gauge my temperature but I brushed it off.

"I am fine," I muttered.

"If you are fine then drink this soup this instant!" she huffed, back to her usual, austere tone that she was so notorious for. "What do you think you are playing at, girl? You haven't eaten anything in the whole week. What are you starving yourself for anyway? It is bad enough that you are already so thin and scrawny… Do you intend to disappear altogether from the face of this earth? There is no need of punishing your stomach."

Suddenly the said traitor stomach growled, almost as if in response to grandmother's chiding and I realized that for the first time in a whole week since the mission, I was actually hungry. "But I am _not_ drinking that cabbage soup!" I declared, throwing off the covers and stretching myself. "I am going to make breakfast for myself, preferably something sweet... You can drink that horrible cabbage soup yourself!"

"Such impertinence," she growled but the intense relief in her eyes belied her irritation and as she looked at me, a soft smile appeared on her thin lips. "Well, if you are back to yourself, then come down to the apothecary after breakfast. I am working on a concoction against the mysterious Mountain Spotted Mushroom plaque that causes mushrooms to grow all over your body. There has been a massive epidemic in a small town south of the Land of fire—"

"But I need to train today," I protested.

"Nonsense!" she declared, flashing me a quick glare and then heaved a long-suffering sigh. "It is bad enough that you refuse to be my apprentice, even though you are my own grand-daughter. Who, do you think, will inherit all this knowledge of the medicine and antidotes I have gained, studying and working so hard for so many years? What about the legacy of Fukuro clan?"

I was getting really annoyed by her persistent nagging; the last mission had taken a great toll over my patience. "Obaa-san," I said, modulating my voice lest I started shouting, "you already know that I have no talent whatsoever in Medical ninjutsu or drugs."

"It is only because you never even tried," she retorted adamantly.

"I told you that Hana is more than willing to be your apprentice."

"Well, she is not a Fukuro," she argued. "How can I hand over the clan's legendary and confidential techniques of brewing potions and medicines to a person who is not even of my own clan? She is an outsider! Keep in mind that I would never dare to disgrace or betray our ancestors by—"

"All those ancestors," I said pointedly, "are already _dead_."

" _Miyuki!"_ she bellowed, incapacitating me with her legendary glare that had allegedly scared off the entire platoon from Iwagakure once. "How _dare_ you?"

I bit my tongue and forced myself to calm down even though she had already driven me to the pinnacle, but I knew that there was no point of taking it all out on her or our ancestors. "I am just saying that if this knowledge can help millions of people, why not pass it on to a person who is more capable of utilizing it the right way? You already know that I have neither the motivation nor the patience required to practice medical ninjutsu or to create the curative potions. I know how to heal minor injuries and create simple antidotes but that is just it. Hana has the right ambition you are looking for and moreover, she actually wants to learn it. She would be way better at it than I could ever be."

For a while grandmother didn't say anything; her green eyes were severe yet beseeching, as if she was desperately trying to make me grasp something. "I just don't want you to be a ninja who lives to harm others, Miyuki," she said at last. "I want you to have something else. Whole your life, you will have to go on several missions like your last one. It will slowly… it will start eroding your spirit. I never wanted to raise you like Uchihas who just live to kill. I promised your father… I want to protect your spirit."

I realized that I was squeezing my fists so hard that fingernails were digging into my palms. She was right, though. I already knew that the last, fateful mission had already taken a big chunk of my soul but what she didn't know was that I was already past the point of no return. I could feel it, sometimes… Nothing could change the fact that I had chosen this shinobi path myself, even though I could have followed after the footsteps of my Uncle and stayed out of this all. But there was already no going back now. "This last mission… I won't repeat the same mistake twice so I need to get stronger for that. That is why I can't let myself get distracted. Please let me train in peace, Obaa-san."

She let out a defeated sigh and turned her face away but before that, I had already caught the barest signs of an approving smile that had bloomed over her usually stringent lips. "Sometimes, Miyuki, you remind me a lot of him. Your father."

Usually, I was always on the cloud nine whenever somebody compared me to my father but this time, I only managed a grimace. This remark only served to make me feel more miserable than I already did; my father would never fail the mission as badly as I had and to think that I had once believed that I was just like my brave, valiant father… It should be a heresy to compare me to him.

"Fine then," my grandmother said, finally relenting. "Bring that Inuzuka girl tomorrow. I will see if she is capable enough to be my apprentice."

….

After that, I avoided Itachi as if he had caught that mysterious Mountain Spotted Mushroom plaque. Whenever I saw him walking my way from some corridor or the road, I would slither out of his sight as quickly and surreptitiously as I could with my face glowing scarlet. I hated my habit of blushing but it was one thing I had no control over even though kunoichis should usually have complete control over all the aspects of their lives.

"Why are you always avoiding him?" Hana asked me once when I had just darted behind the bush, concealing my chakra and dragging her with me when I had seen Itachi and Shisui on the cobbled-stone pathway.

"I am not avoiding him," I denied a bit too defensively.

She scowled at me suspiciously, chewing on a lock of her hair, speculative look on her face. "Do you, you know, like him or something?"

My eyes widened and to my chagrin, I blushed profusely. "Of course not!" I said vehemently. "How could you even entertain the idea that…?"

"It's only normal," she said, ignoring me. "I mean, he is handsome and charming. If you didn't hate Uchihas so much, for whatever reason it is, I am pretty sure you would have fallen for him a long time ago."

"N-No, you are wrong!" I sputtered out. "I don't like anything about that Uchiha. In fact, I hate him!"

She rolled her eyes. "Keep denying, but no girl can resist Shisui Uchiha!"

I blinked at her, dumbstruck. " _What?_ "

"You are having some sort of crush over Shisui Uchiha, aren't you?" she prattled on. "Don't deny it; it is written all over your face. Whenever he is there, you get flustered and hide yourself and then you watch him with those eyes full of longings. Do you think I don't know you by now?"

Did she think I had feelings for Shisui? Was it because Shisui was always seen with Itachi? "Hana," I growled in an _awful_ voice. "I do not like any of those two Uchihas. You are being absurd!"

"These _two_ Uchihas?" she shook her head. "Well, surely nobody could really like Itachi… He is too cold and doesn't speak much even though he is usually polite and is definitely more handsome than Shisui. But he is hard to approach and is a bit intimidating… and personally, I think he thinks that he is above everyone else. He is always observing people with those penetrating eyes, almost as if he is x-raying them. It seriously gives me the creeps. No girl can like a guy like that, in my opinion. I don't know what half of the population in Konoha sees in him."

"True," I agreed, a bit amused by her evaluation of Itachi.

"But Shisui is another story," she sighed, almost dreamily and started rolling her hair around her finger in an unconscious gesture.

"Hana, I think you are the one who has a crush on Shisui, not me," I couldn't help pointing out triumphantly. "I don't like anything about Shisui. In fact, I think he is a bit… _fake_."

" _Fake?_ " she repeated incredulously. "Are you serious? Then who are you running from anyway? Could it be… _Itachi Uchiha_? Is he the one you like?"

My eyes flickered away evasively as I angled my face away from her, feeling exceedingly uncomfortable under her expectant and almost disgusted gaze. It was way worse for her to assume that I liked Itachi; it would have been better if I had let her get away with the misconception that I had somehow developed some sort of feelings for that obnoxious Shisui Uchiha, even though the idea of it was ludicrous. "Hana, leave it!" I exclaimed, dismissing her. "You are just imagining things. I just avoid Itachi because it is embarrassing that I lost the battle to him in the Chunin Exam. That's all."

"Fine," she said though she still looked thoroughly unconvinced.

And despite my tongue's emphatic denial, even my heart seemed unconvinced. Just what the hell was happening? Maybe I had caught the malady of the Mountain Spotted Mushroom Plaque too after all… Was I really developing feelings for a boy who was a part of Uchihas I was supposed to detest with unbridled passion?

Yes.

I could at least, admit it to myself, because despite all the people I had in my life, he had been the only one who had gathered up all my pieces and reconstructed me when I thought all was lost.

* * *

 **A/N:** I imagine that 'guilt' and 'regret' must play a very important role in Shinobi's life realistically, especially when they have to confront death on daily basis so I didn't want to 'conveniently' skip this part, especially when this story would be focusing on 'guilt' and its implications a lot later on, which is to be expected with Uchiha massacre and all, I guess... because this story is going to darken at some point. You can say, I am preparing Miyuki for it beforehand haha. Also it was a good way of building a bond of trust between Itachi and Miyuki before romance comes. (which will soon) :-)

Once again, thank you so much for reading and drop in to leave a review.

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

* * *

The spring in the village was always beautiful sight, especially around Nisshoku shrine and Uchiha manor where little bluebells would knit together another azure sky over the mountains slopes. The air was always fresh with the scent of blooming chrysanthemums and honeysuckles, with whimsical florets of dandelions floating around in the cool, placid wind.

But the thing that fascinated me endlessly were the beautiful wisteria blooms that would cascade down in dreamy, purple waterfalls from the walls of the Nisshoku shrine. A cloud of mysterious melancholy always climbed over grandmother whenever they bloomed and sometimes I could see her sauntering near those purple waterfalls, deep in thoughts.

Once she told me an old folk tale of the Wisteria maiden, an ancient tale in which a woman from a painting had fallen in love with a man and had entered the three-dimensional world just for him. But no matter how much she had loved him, he just never liked her back. Then tired of the unrequitedness of her love, she had to return back to being just a painting. A sad painting of a woman holding a wisteria branch in her hand. A wisteria maiden.

"She was a pitiful woman," Grandmother had stated when she had finished telling me the tale. "She should have never left her painting. But that is what love does to you; you think you can fly when you are in love, even when you most certainly cannot."

"Were you ever in love, Obaa-san?" I had asked her, my interest piqued.

A faraway look crossed her face. "Yes, I was once," she sighed almost pensively. "And I have never regretted anything more than falling in love, my whole life. Remember Miyuki, love shows you a beautiful dream indeed, but the sad thing is, that it is, after all, just a dream and has nothing to do with reality. And when you wake up from that dream, it hurts. It hurts a lot more than you could ever imagine."

…

That spring, Ryusei invited us to a Hanami (flower-viewing festival) at Hyuuga manor for the first time. Even though Hyuugas had been holding these Hanamis every year, for some reasons, Hana and I had never gotten the invitation before.

"It is because Hyuugas don't invite _peasants_ ," Hana said sarcastically.

"It is not that," Ryusei contradicted heatedly. "It is because it is really boring. All the people from noble families come together to either gossip about you or to eye you judgmentally and label you. I thought it was not something you two would enjoy being subjected to but I will extend the invitation to you anyway if you are that curious. But I am warning you, you would hate it."

I studied him carefully; there was always thinly concealed bitterness and weariness in his voice whenever he spoke of his clan nowadays and I had a hunch that he was suffering from some sort of disillusionment. Even his legendary arrogance had toned down as well. "But I like flowers," I told him.

"Me too," Hana piped in.

He looked at us as if he couldn't quite comprehend what we could possibly find interesting in _flowers_ whose sole purpose to exist was for pollination. " _Girls,_ " he muttered under his breath.

"You are so _unromantic!_ " Hana laughed. "No wonder you don't have a girlfriend even though you are fifteen years of age."

"Probably," he said dryly. "Although it is hard to imagine that the girls as wild as you two could possibly like something as delicate as flowers."

" _Women,_ " Shikaku-sensei said suddenly, jolting awake from his nap, "no matter how harsh and troublesome they are, will always have a sweet and tender side for those they love. You will learn that when you grow up, Ryusei, my boy."

…..

I had been forced to go to several _Hanamis_ by my grandmother before but never had I attended the Hanami quite as extravagant and ostentatious as this one. Though Uchiha clan was probably the most powerful and formidable clan in Konoha, Hyuugas were definitely richer due to their influential heritage and royal background, or perhaps, they just had no qualms about showing off their wealth. The Sakura and apricot trees stood there in the gardens mesmerizingly, wearing frilly dresses of spring, as if they were the brides. Small lights winked in these trees like glittering stars in the nebulae, their reflection rippling over the clear surface of the koi-ponds and lakes in the gardens.

As if to match the lavish décor, people floated around us like butterflies in beautiful kimonos and yukatas of several shades with intricate, spring-inspired patterns of embroidery. I was almost glad that grandmother had made me dress up for the occasion even though I was all for attending this Hanami in my simple, white blouse and the frayed, blue hakama I usually wore when I was not on the missions. That particular day, however, my grandmother had made me don on a chiffon ice-blue yukata with embroidered silver cranes that flowed around my frame like an upside bluebell. "Why must I dress up like this?" I had grumbled to my grandmother as she wrestled an intricate, silver dragonfly ornament in my riotous mahogany tresses.

"Because nobles from all the land of fire will be there, so you should look presentable at least. I will not have you going there looking like a tramp."

"Who cares? I am just going there to eat and look at the flowers!" I had complained.

"Shut up, Miyuki! This yukata and hair ornament had once belonged to your mother so wear them with pride. You will be representing the Fukuro clan after all, so could you act a bit more with grace and dignity?"

As I looked myself in the mirror, I couldn't help but notice that my eyes looked greener and my cheeks more vibrant than usual, although I couldn't help but think that this yukata would have suited someone taller with a fuller figure, namely my mother or even Hana. It was a pity that no matter how much I ate, I remained a bit on petite side with an unassuming, delicate stature, which was irritating because I could never be that physically imposing on the battlefield. It didn't help the fact that I had stopped growing when I had turned twelve so naturally, I used my notorious threats and sharp tongue to make up for the lack of my physical presence.

"But I don't look anything like a kunoichi."

"Well, because you are not going on the battlefield, you insolent girl!" Grandmother had thundered. "You are supposed to look like a lady and you would have even succeeded in looking like one in this yukata if you could just stop shuffling about awkwardly like a duck. Remember, a lady must always _glide_ lightly over the ground, as if her feet are not touching the ground."

I burst into a hearty laughter at the absurdity of the notion but immediately choked on it when my grandmother flashed me a deathly glare. "Keep that up and you will never be able to find a husband."

"I am not ever getting married. I am a kunoichi, remember?"

"That is just ridiculous! Miyuki, come back this instant! I would not have the Fukuro bloodline die with you—!"

But I had already slipped out of the Nisshoku shrine to meet up with Hana. She was wearing a carnation flower in her hair and a long, peach-colored silk qipao that hugged her obviously fuller figure impeccably like a glove and accentuated her newly developed curves which were the envy of every girl of our age, including me. Ryusei would probably never call her flat-chested again although the same couldn't be said about me.

Now as we walked around the Hyuuga manor with our eyes soaking in all the colors and the twinkling lights, I could feel several disdainful eyes on us. These nobles obviously didn't know how to smile wholeheartedly and were wearing tight grins instead as if they were constipated or something. But I knew it was worth coming here because the food was absolutely sumptuous; Hana and I couldn't help stuffing ourselves with wonderful Sashimi and tempura, which tasted like heaven against my tongue after all the cabbage I was forced to eat every day. Now, my grandmother had warned me against appearing too gluttonous. "A lady must eat like a sparrow," she had told me sternly.

Hell yeah.

Few girls kept eyeing us both critically for eating too much and I smiled at one of them, showing her a mouthful of chewed up sushi. She immediately gasped and whispered something sneeringly to her companion about us having no manners and both of them scurried off, leaving Hana and me laughing.

Just then Ryusei strutted through the crowd with aristocratic elegance to greet us, wearing a white yukata with purple hemlines, looking even more regal and haughtier than he usually did.

"I am glad you could make it." His formal tone of voice made us stare at him in bemusement; it was a bit disconcerting to see him like this since we were too used to of his constant barking and whining.

"Drop this tone," I told him, straight-faced. "It doesn't suit you."

"Right, I forgot you weren't one of the 'important' guests," he sneered and it was actually a relief to hear that familiar tone of his; he had seemed way too unapproachable and almost unrecognizable when he had first arrived. Ryusei introduced us to his father, Hikaru Hyuuga who was the first cousin of Hiashi Hyuuga, the patriarch of Hyuuga clan. Hikaru Hyuuga seemed like a typical Hyuuga noble and just stared at us condescendingly when Hana and I bowed to him; I couldn't help but feel a sliver of dislike for him. I knew that he blamed us both for Ryusei's lack of development.

Now, as Ryusei stood in front of us after his father left, surprise colored his otherwise white eyes. "You two look… _different_ ," he admitted and I could see that his appreciative eyes were trained on us, more so on Hana.

"You too," Hana told him, a bit awkwardly. Compliments were never exchanged casually in our team. I looked from Hana to Ryusei, trying to gauge the expressions in their eyes and almost wanted to step out to evade the thick tension that was suddenly brewing in the air; there was something definitely happening between them as they held each other's gazes.

But just then, Shisui Uchiha had to come and grace us with his insufferable presence. "Hey there," he exclaimed, as if genuinely happy to see us, much to Ryusei's and mine annoyance.

"Shisui-san!" Hana said breathlessly. She seemed to have forgotten all about Ryusei in an instant.

Ryusei's eyes however narrowed to slits. "Who the hell invited you?" he demanded in a tone that was dripping with rudeness.

"Hiashi-sama invited us," Shisui replied, without batting an eye. "In fact I just paid my regards to him. The Sakura trees here are exceptionally beautiful tonight, only to be rivalled by all these lovely girls. Don't you agree?" He winked at Hana and me as he said that, acting impervious to the lethal waves emanating from Ryusei. "You both look very pretty tonight, Fukuro-san, Inuzuka-san."

Hana blushed promptly at the cadence of deep appreciation in his voice while I just glared at him suspiciously, at that seemingly fake smile on his lips. He had probably said that to every girl that had crossed his path and I didn't trust him one bit… Wait, if Shisui was here, then it meant… _Itachi_!

My heart started thudding heavily against my chest as I looked around. Sure enough, I could see several dark-haired Uchihas in the gardens, over the pavilions, trying to mingle with the crowd but they stood out, probably due to the faint intimidating aura they seemed to radiate. Though Hyuugas definitely looked more like the stiff royalties, Uchihas exuded more confidence and self-assuredness as if they knew that they were the most powerful and capable in the whole gathering.

I was just deciding to run back to Nisshoku shrine with tail between my legs when I realized how cowardly I was being. I had already decided not to run away any more.

" _Miyuki-chan_!" I heard a familiar, chirrupy voice call my name and my heart almost dropped to my stomach. Slowly, I turned around to greet Mikoto Uchiha who looked ravishing in her sapphire-blue yukata. I almost fainted when I realized that Itachi was standing just behind her shoulder, appraising me curiously with those profound onyx eyes of his.

Why, oh, why had I decided to give in to Obaa-san and worn something like this? It was utterly awkward and embarrassing.

"Mikoto-san," I managed to croak out and bowed deeply to the Uchiha-matriarch who smiled radiantly, apparently not caring for the constipated smiles of the nobles she was supposed to mirror. As the manners dictated, I myself managed a brittle smile and bent down to greet little Sasuke who had visibly grown up into a scowling brat who disliked being treated as a child. Then I decided to stop procrastinating and finally raised my eyes to meet Itachi's briefly. "Uchiha," I said.

He nodded. "Fukuro," he intoned with equally chilling politeness.

Mikoto Uchiha looked between the both of us and then sighed. "I wish you two would make up soon," she chattered on. "You two are acting really immature in my opinion. You used to be such good friends."

" _Okaa-san_ ," said Itachi warningly.

"You look quite pretty today, Miyuki-chan," she went on, acting oblivious to the sudden waves of irritation emanating from Itachi's form. He obviously didn't like her meddling in his affairs. "Don't you think so, Itachi?"

Ok, now this was more than just mortifying. I silently vowed never to wear something like this ever again. There was something just so comforting in my usual tomboyish outfit; it had always given me confidence.

"Very," Itachi responded. It was painfully obvious that he was just being cordial but when I raised my hesitant gaze to his, I could see amusement lingering in his eyes.

"In fact, when I first saw you in this yukata tonight, you had reminded me of your mother," Mikoto continued delicately with a nostalgic sheen in her dark eyes. "It seems like yesterday when I had seen her in the very same blue yukata with cranes; she had come to me as if she had a blue sky itself wrapped around her. You look quite like her today, Miyuki-chan. I never really realized it before."

"Um, thank you," I said uncomfortably. "You knew my mother?"

"Of course," she beamed. "Your mother, Nagisa Fukuro, used to be my really close friend."

Suddenly, it explained so many things; the reason why she had always seemed to like me for some inexplicable reasons when so many women of Konoha found me unscrupulous and downright disagreeable. "But… But Obaa-san never told me that!"

Mikoto Uchiha just smiled sadly at that and didn't say anything. "Kaa-san," Sasuke started tugging at her hand. "Come, I want to eat tomatoes."

"First finish your dango, Sasuke. You cannot just live on tomatoes... It is not healthy. You will get kidney stones at this rate."

"But I _hate_ dangos!" he whined and I could see a tantrum coming. Apparently Itachi could see it too for he ruffled up his hair. "Listen to Okaa-san, Sasuke," he told him, "or you won't be able to get stronger like this."

Sasuke pouted but heeded his request; he obviously held his brother in higher esteem than his mother. I couldn't help noticing how different Sasuke was from Itachi at the same age. Perhaps it was his spoiled innocence; Itachi had never had a privilege to act like this.

I stood there awkwardly, thinking of the way to excuse myself when thankfully, a distraction came in form of a song, that a renowned singer dressed in an elaborate kimono, started singing from a pavilion in a lake, fingering the strings of a shamisen softly as sonorous, melancholy notes floated in the air.

" _Amidst the flowers, a jug of wine,  
I pour alone lacking companionship.  
So raising the cup I invite the Moon,  
then turn to my shadow which makes three of us.  
Because the Moon does not know how to drink,  
My shadow merely follows the movement of my body.  
The moon has brought the shadow to keep me company a while,  
The practice of mirth should keep pace with spring.  
I start a song and the moon begins to reel,  
I rise and dance and the shadow moves grotesquely.  
While I'm still conscious let's rejoice with one another,  
After I'm drunk let each one go his way.  
Let us bind ourselves for ever for passionless journeyings.  
Let us swear to meet again far in the Milky Way."_

I could see Mikoto's wet eyes shimmering with tears from the surreal beauty of the song, a wistful smile on her lips as if she was remembering a far-off memory that was beautiful and had meant a lot to her once. Even I had to admit that this song had enveloped me and had affected me strangely; it was strongly evocative of that lost time that would probably never come again. For some reasons, my chest felt tight and I had a desperate urge to escape this place.

Several adults were now drinking Sake, getting drunk on the music, the sights and scents of freesias, roses and jasmines that were blooming all around. I tripped over someone's foot and took off my uncomfortable, silver geta-sandals to avoid such mishap again. The freshly trimmed grass felt good under my bare feet as I made my way to the small hill away from the crowd, overlooking a lake.

To my surprise, I could see another familiar figure over the end of the lake's pier under Sakura tree, silhouetted against the silvery moonlight. So someone else had wanted to escape the stifling crowd as well.

The wooden planks creaked softly as I made my way over them to reach the end of the pier and then sunk down next to him, my slippers still dangling from my fingers.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him. "I think they would notice if the Uchiha heir went missing."

"Hardly," he said dryly. "They are used to of me disappearing during the gatherings. I find them tiresome."

I found myself looking at him closely for the first time that night. He was dressed in a midnight-black yukata trimmed with gray hemlines that clung to his well-built shoulders immaculately and that unusual necklace he always wore was winking like stars over his strongly carved collarbone. His coal-black hair was gathered up in a high ponytail rather than the low one he usually preferred, although he had allowed his usual bangs to frame the sides of his aristocratic, chiseled face. He exuded the effortless sort of elegance and tranquility. I could tell that the time had done a marvelous job on him (unlike me.)

" _What_?" Itachi said and I quickly turned my face away, blushing profusely.

He had obviously caught me checking him out. Ok, so I was out of my element here but then again, he always had that effect on me. More so now, when he looked almost _delectable_ in that regal yukata and… Wait, what the hell was I thinking? No, that won't do at all. He was an Uchiha, for heaven's sake.

"Nothing," I muttered abashedly and turned my attention to the clear water of the lake sprinkled over by the moonlight instead; small ripples bloomed over its crystalline surface whenever Sakura-petals from the nearby tree landed on it. "They have to be really rich, these Hyuugas," I said conversationally, trying to dispel the mounting tension in the air.

"So they are," he agreed. "Theirs is the only clan close to royalty in Konoha."

"What about the Uchihas then?" I asked with morbid curiosity and nothing else.

" _Uchihas_ ," he said, the word rolling over his tongue, "are more like bloodthirsty monsters. We don't value honor as much as we value power and that is what makes us stronger than the Hyuugas." There were hints of both pride and condescension in his voice and I wondered what exactly he thought of his clan. "So what are you doing here, Fukuro? I thought you were avoiding me after that night as if I had sprouted some illness." He looked at me meaningfully. "And after using my shoulder to cry on, no less."

"No, I wasn't avoiding you!" I snarled, blushing with indignation. I couldn't believe he was talking about the most humiliating moments of my life so nonchalantly.

"Right," he scoffed wryly. "You think I didn't notice?"

I couldn't believe it. I thought I had been quite discreet, but then again, he wasn't called the most perceptive and accomplished shinobi of Konoha for nothing. "I…I was avoiding you because I was still conflicted," I told him candidly. "I was trying to reach a decision."

"So now you have reached one," he observed. "Is that why you decided to confront me?"

"Yes, I have," I spoke with clarity and then took a deep breath, before my courage waned. "I have decided to join ANBU Black Ops."

Those intense obsidian eyes held my gaze for a long moment. "Something tells me that Danzo is not the reason behind that decision."

"Yes, he isn't," I agreed. "I mean, he called me in his office many times after that but I just ignored his ravings and silly threats. I realize I am not as afraid of him anymore as I thought I was initially. He just sounds like a senile, old lunatic who is too jealous of Hokage. Seriously, I don't even understand why you are so afraid of him."

His lips quirked at my observation. "Then why?"

"It is because I want to _atone_." I clasped my hands together in my laps. "You remember the last mission, when I failed and lost all my squad? It was because I was trying to protect _myself._ I hesitated in killing the leader of the enemy even though I should have when I had the chance… But I was probably trying not to taint my hands, thinking so self-righteously that I was showing him some sort of mercy. I was such a selfish fool. You were right. Things like morality and mercy just come in the way of the missions and because of that, I lost something much more important that day. That is why I want to join ANBU. I want to learn how to taint my hands for something that is much more important and precious."

"So basically you want to join ANBU because you want to learn how to _kill_ people?"

I shuddered. "Don't say it like that, you idiot."

Suddenly, in a blink of an eye—he had moved so fast that I hadn't even seen it coming— his strong hand, that had probably killed so many before, was wrapped around my neck in a universally threatening gesture. I could almost feel my pulse thrumming helplessly against the skin of his palm. " _What,_ " I choked out as pure fear in its unadulterated form washed over me, " _are you doing, Uchiha?_ "

His inexorable eyes, peeking from his bangs, were black, so infinitely black as they glinted cryptically in the moonlight but I could feel no bloodlust emanating from him even as his callused fingers dug menacingly in the skin of the most vulnerable part of my body. I knew that it would only take a slight twist of his wrist to break my neck for good or to strangle me to death so I held myself very still, trying to glare at him the best I could, because that was the only weapon I could use against him for now.

"Are you really ready to kill?" he asked in a soft, compelling voice. "Or maybe should I ask, are you really ready to _die_?"

"Let go of me, Uchiha," I ordered in a firm voice as I wrapped my hands around his wrist. I didn't feel that threatened because I still had Teishi Jikan up my sleeve.

"Only those who can truly understand what death is should be allowed to kill," he went on. "So tell me, are you really not afraid of death anymore?"

My eyes widened at his question. It was known fact that every ninja who entered the ninja academy was ready to consider the possibility of death. The ninja missions inevitably claimed the lives of almost all the shinobis in the end, but I also knew that only few really understood—and accepted— what it meant to die. Did I fear death, even at this point? Was I afraid that he could actually squeeze the life out of me this very instant? I stared powerlessly into the beautiful, dark ocean of his orbs as if they were the eyes of a death angel, both cruel and kind. Surprisingly, it didn't seem like it would be so bad to die from his hands.

"I don't know if I am afraid of death," I told him honestly. "I don't even know if I am ready to kill. But I am joining ANBU anyway. You can't scare me."

A small furrow appeared in his forehead. "Interesting, I don't sense any _fear_ from you even though you are completely defenseless right now."

"Because I don't sense any _killing intent_ from you."

"Fair enough." He smiled and it made my heart beat faster for some unfathomable reasons.

Suddenly, I was suddenly more than just aware of our proximity, with his face just few inches away from me and his hand still around my neck. Skin against skin.

"And I am not completely defenseless," I reminded him, if only to distract myself from my body's strange reactions. "I can use Teishi Jikan right now and rip your guts out so kindly remove your hand from my neck when I am asking you nicely."

"I was merely demonstrating what to expect in ANBU," he responded coolly as his palm shifted to cup the side of my neck instead, his caressing touch feather-light and his fingers soothing on my nape, almost as if he was apologizing for his earlier action.

But I stiffened even more. This new, novel touch of his was far more dangerous than before and could potentially prove to be lethal. Tongues of chills slithered down my spine and telltale heat bloomed in my cheeks as he leaned even closer. Suddenly those eyes of his were far too near, bold and smoldering; I could almost see my reflection in them and could feel his breath against my cheek. It made me shiver.

"Uchiha…?"

I almost breathed a sigh of relief when his hand fell away from my skin and he finally leaned away, allowing me the possession of my personal space once again. But I could almost feel the waves of smugness radiating from him as he sat there, wearing that mysterious grin. He obviously knew how much effect he had on me. "Do I make you _that_ nervous?"

"Of course not! I am not nervous!"

"Then why are you blushing?" he asked bluntly.

"You can't really tell if I am blushing," I challenged. "It's dark."

"I could use my sharingan," he warned, smirking with triumph. "Uchihas happen to have an excellent eyesight."

"You would use your sharingan for something so stupid?"

"And besides," he went on silkily, ignoring my caustic tone, "your skin was warm."

I had no ready comeback for that so I settled for lousy 'Shut up' as my witty rejoinder. Then I sat there, glaring at the wooden plank and trying to will away the permanent heat from my cheeks, silently fuming inside. _He is an Uchiha_ , I reminded myself firmly. _Get a grip. You need to cruelly crush any feelings you might have for him. You need to—_

"Do you know how to fight with Katana?" he asked suddenly.

"I haven't tried it yet," I admitted, blinking at the abrupt change in his demeanor; he was more focused now and looked every bit like an ANBU captain that he was. He was so unpredictable that it was disconcerting sometimes. "I usually use shurikens and kunais."

"I know what you use," he said dismissively. "If you want to pass the ANBU exam then start practicing with katana. This is the main weapon we use and are expected to be proficient in."

"Of course." Though kunais and shurikens were made to incapacitate the opponent, the sword was designed exclusively to kill.

"I can help you in training if you want," he offered, giving me a sidelong glance.

"No, I am good." I didn't want to rely on him too much after all. "You are too busy anyway being an ANBU captain and all. And also, you need to train yourself since you can't allow your skills to get rusty, right? Besides, I want to do it myself."

"Are you sure you are ready for this though?" he said softly, observing a delicate Sakura petal that had somehow found its way in his hand. "You do realize that the life of an ANBU is quite ephemeral, just like these Sakura blooms, right? You might die before you have even had a chance to live."

"I thought you were the one who wanted me to join ANBU in the first place."

"I just want you to understand what you are getting into."

"Don't worry about me," I said with quiet resolve. "I will be fine… if you can do it then I can do it too. And since you will be there as well. So, I am not afraid."

* * *

 **A/N:** The song I used is actually a poem from a Chinese poet Li Po.

Please let me know what you think.

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13**

" _They tried to bury us. They didn't know we were seeds."_

 _-Mexican Proverb_

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Ryusei asked almost warily. "I mean, I never thought of you as an ANBU material."

"Me neither," I admitted dully; then it occurred to me that his tone was a bit demeaning. "Are you, by some chance, implying that I am not strong enough? Is it because I am a _girl_?"

"I am not implying anything," he replied patiently. "We are team-mates, Miyuki, so of course I know how you fight by now. You are capable, but I also know that you always deliberately avoid hitting the vital organs. When you strike, you aim to immobilize and not kill, even when you have the clear advantage. I am not saying it makes you any weaker… It is noble, even, but this is just not something you can get away with in ANBU."

He was absolutely right, of course. "Don't patronize me, Ryusei," I huffed.

It was one of those times when I missed Hana's effortless, comforting presence because Ryusei was far too overbearing and exasperatingly perceptive sometimes. But Hana was always holed up in Grandmother's Apothecary nowadays, learning Medical ninjutsu and the ingredients to the curative potions. Sometimes I felt pity for her; grandmother had to be the most impatient and demanding teacher in Konoha.

Currently, Ryusei and I were sitting over an oak tree in the training ground 3, with our legs dangling in the air. We were exhausted after an extensive training session with our new katanas. Idly, I watched the new genins that were occupying the training grounds now, practicing the bunshin-no jutsus and learning how to walk on the trees. A nostalgic smile touched my lips. "This," I pointed at a round, chubby boy who kept falling off the trunk after two steps, "boy reminds me of you, Ryusei. You were just like that when we first learnt how to climb trees with our chakras."

"Well, it's not like you were any better," he said snidely. "Only Hana managed to climb all the way in the first try."

"But weren't we so carefree, back then?" I sighed, wrapping my arms around my sore knees. "You were so insanely arrogant that we couldn't help but hate you for it. Hana used to throw tantrums and I used to get us in trouble all the times with my big mouth."

"You are still like that," he pointed out but a soft smile was playing at his lips.

"That's mean," I punched his shoulder lightly. "Remember how both of us wanted to play the hero on our first mission? We were so eager that we charged on the target simultaneously… and then our heads banged together and we fainted."

He chuckled. "Don't remind me of that. I can't believe we missed all the action on our first mission. No wonder, Shikaku-sensei had found it all so 'troublesome'."

I laughed. "What action? We just had to capture a wild monkey that had escaped Konoha's zoo."

"That monkey was probably in heat."

"Now wonder it took Shikaku-sensei a whole month before he allowed us to go on some real mission after that." I perched my chin over my knees, lost in a wistful reverie.

"I had marked you as my rival right from the start," Ryusei said suddenly.

I looked up at him with some intrigue; he was never the one to just start talking about his inner feelings and motives but here was, admitting something I had always known, but I had never thought he would ever say it out loud. "You graduated at the top of our class," he went on in a flat voice, "and my father gave me a good thrashing that day. I hated you for it and vowed that I will defeat you."

"I… I didn't know," I admitted, suddenly feeling sheepish and a bit sad. So while I was busy looking at Itachi, someone had been looking at me the same way all along.

"Of course you didn't." He grinned then but I could still perceive the hints of lingering bitterness in his pearl-white eyes. "I knew it wasn't your fault… But I was from the Hyuuga clan and so, obviously everybody expected a lot from me."

"But I always thought you were strong," I told him candidly. "Why would your father disapprove of you? You graduated at the second from academy."

His eyes lit up at my acknowledgement but then he shook his head almost sadly. "That is not enough by Hyuuga standards."

"I see," I said, treading cautiously, not wanting to sound like I was intruding for the fear that he might retreat back behind in the shell he had finally crawled out from. "Is that the reason why you want to join ANBU now, to prove to your father that you are strong?"

"Yes." He nodded but his eyes flickered away almost evasively, almost as if he was embarrassed for finally opening up to me.

"Do you still hate me?" I found myself asking.

"Not anymore, Miyuki," he announced, smiling tightly. "We are both almost evenly matched anyway. Personally, I think I would have been stronger if it wasn't for your freaky kekkei genkai."

"You have a freaky Byakugan too," I reminded him. How could he conveniently forget that fact?

"I know," he sighed. "But I don't see you as a rival any more. These days, I want to surpass Shisui Uchiha."

"Is it because of Hana?"

His face jerked in my direction, his eyes incredulous and overly defensive. " _What?_ "

"You like Hana, don't you?" I wondered if I was being too intrusive but it wasn't every day that this certain Hyuuga felt like talking about feelings so I wanted him to get it all off his chest right now. "Don't deny it. I have known it from quite a while now."

"I d-don't," he sputtered out and then sighed. "Ok, maybe I do. Even I am surprised and confused myself. There is nothing likable in her and she obviously doesn't like me that way. Yet I…" His trailed off. "Don't rat me out to her on this, alright? I am counting on you."

"Don't worry about it, lover-boy. I won't," I said playfully. "But do something about it yourself, then. Seriously, it is a bit pathetic to see you with all your unrequited feelings. If you didn't do something about it soon, you are going to turn into that Wisteria Maiden painting."

"Wisteria _what_?" He looked thunderstruck now and was obviously regretting confiding in me but I just couldn't seem to help it; he was so much fun to tease sometimes. Feeling even more mischievous, I deliberately started staring at the spot just above his shoulder.

"Don't move! There is a Black Widow spider sitting right over your shoulder. I have heard that they are really venomous so, let me get rid of it for you."

" _What? Where_?" He immediately started cowering and looked absolutely ridiculous, slapping at his shoulder frantically, trying to get rid of the invisible spider, but then he stopped when he saw my shoulders heaving with laughter.

"Very funny," he spat, squaring his shoulders, swelling with indignation.

I buried my mouth in my fist to smother down the worst of my mirth. "Sorry," I said unrepentantly. "I just couldn't resist. But I can't believe you fall for it each time."

"Hmph!" He pointedly angled his face away from me in one of his famous huffs and proceeded to scowl at the ground sulkily. I sighed and turned to observe the genins who were still busy training. The aforementioned chubby boy had now collapsed on the ground with chakra exhaustion and was taking shallow breaths.

Suddenly, the scene in front of me transformed and in their place, I saw the genins of my own squad in that tragic mission, screaming my name. Screaming as the enemies slit their throats. So much carnage. So much blood. All because of me... Suddenly, I jolted out of my reverie with Itachi's words echoing loudly in my mind, rebounding against its rusty corners, asking me to never forget what happened on that certain mission...

"Hey, Fukuro? You ok?" It was Ryusei, with concern punctuating his urgent voice as his hand squeezed my shoulder lightly.

I realized I was panting now. "Ryusei, let's... let's do our best in these ANBU exams, ne?"

He stared at me for a long time, as if searching for something with those inscrutable snowy white eyes of his and then he nodded. "Good thing we are together in this."

I agreed with him.

"Who is going to convince you grandmother though?"

I sighed. "I will tell her after I have joined ANBU."

...

"Kill him."

I gaped in horror at the trembling man in front of me. His clothes were all tattered and stained as if he hadn't changed them in a while and his dirty hair was matted over his forehead, caked with congealed blood and sweat, as if he had suffered from a horrific torture before he was brought here. His both wrists and ankles were bound with chakra-ropes. He looked a pathetic sight, indeed, but the saddest thing about him was his eyes, those defeated eyes, as if whatever spirit they might have possessed once had been extinguished a long time ago.

I dragged my gaze away from his dead eyes to stare at the ANBU proctor wearing a llama mask. " _What?"_ I managed to choke out.

"In this last round of ANBU exams," he enunciated in an emotionless voice, "you are expected to kill this man before you without any questions or you won't be accepted in ANBU Black ops."

I swallowed. "But... But this man is defenseless." Even to my own ears, it sounded extremely lame, as if I was just making excuses.

"Nevertheless," the proctor intoned coldly. "When you are ordered to kill, you must do so without any questions or arguments. That is what makes an ANBU."

I squeezed the handle of my katana in my both hands which had gone all clammy. I had managed to overcome all of the obstacles with some difficulty in the other rounds of the ANBU exam even though I had almost died few times in the process. But I had never expected to come across something this in the last round; I had never thought that they would ask me to kill so blatantly. And a defenseless man at that.

I could feel several masked gazes of ANBU over me, along with the Hokage's, who stared at me unflinchingly from under the brim of his red and white hat, ignoring my beseeching glances. I settled my glare on the proctor, imagining poking senbons in the eye-holes of his mask.

Tension rolled off as they waited for me to slit the throat of this defeated man I had never known. I knew that they were getting impatient with my obvious reluctance and I also knew that there was no way for me to circumvent this. "First tell me why this man should die by my hands. I have a right to know."

"I already said it before," the proctor said, showing hints of annoyance for the first time, "you are not allowed to ask any questions."

"Be done with it, girl," the bound man before me spoke to me at last. I flinched at his vanquished tone, the hoarseness of his voice as he stared at me fearlessly, as if I hadn't just been ordered to kill him. "Kill me, and put me out of my misery. Death is not always the worst thing. Sometimes, living is way worse."

"But..." I bit my lips and then whispered. "Did they... Did we torture you so much that you want to die?"

"No torture can compare to the pain of being a failure," he said. "I failed my mission. I got caught and handed over integral secrets of my village to Konoha. There is no life left for me now so just kill me and be done with it."

"I will... I will try not to cause you any more pain." Tremulously, I raised my sword, but right before I could bring it down, the expressions in his eyes changed almost drastically and a dark, malicious smile twisted his lips.

" _Long live Kumogakure!"_ he bellowed so deafeningly that my eardrums almost burst. " _I hope you all burn in hell for what you put me, my family and my comrades through! I curse Konoha to eternal damnation! I curse your families, your children, all you have ever held precious! I hope you all suffer the worst kind of punishment where you won't even have a chance at redemption!"_

My blade froze just few inches away from his jugular, my eyes wide with fright. All the power suddenly drained from my arm in response to the unadulterated hatred and wrath in his voice and I knew I wouldn't be able to complete the deed. I was just about to lower down my trembling sword when somewhere close by, I felt another killing intent soar towards the sky, dark and dangerous, as it pulsated terribly through my entity.

I saw a trail of red amidst of the sea of those porcelain masks all around me.

And then, the expressions of horror cleared from my face. I raised my blade and almost mechanically slit open the throat of this man, unmindful of the blood that spurted out and marred my clothes. At least, that was what the Hokage and all the ANBUs saw me doing.

But I knew that I was under Itachi's genjutsu.

And his bloodlust was still reverberating in my sword.

…

I had decided to accost Itachi right after this was over but I had never expected to find him leaning casually against the wall outside the entrance of ANBU headquarters with his arms folded across his chest and his eyes cryptically obscured under his raven bangs. He had obviously been waiting for me because when I appeared, he straightened up. "I will wait for you at Naka river bank," he whispered in my ear and then disappeared.

Fuming, I strode my way to the place he had specified, with fury bubbling inside of me like lava waiting to erupt. Usually, Naka river bank was a very nostalgic place for me because this was where we had spent lot of time together, training and just making memories. But that day, I could only see it through red haze of fury with the rush of blood loud in my ears.

" _How dare you_!" I seethed as I felt him appear right behind me. "Who gave you the right to cast a genjutsu on me on the most crucial moment of my life? To think, that they call you the exemplary shinobi, the _epitome of perfection_." I gritted my teeth. "While you go and exploit your powers like this? Do you usually cast genjutsus whenever you feel like it?"

"You dropped your guard," he said smoothly, acting impervious to the waves of fury emanating from me. His unrepentant tone made me turn around in rage and I realized that his eyes too matched his tone and were impenitent as ever.

"You are so shameless!" I hissed at him through my clenched teeth. "Did it occur to you that I might have lowered my sword because I no longer wanted to join ANBU? You all have no regard for human's life… You all tortured him to brink of death. You all drove him to the point where hatred was the only emotion he could feel! And he was defenseless! He just wanted to retaliate—"

"He was about to obliterate you," he interrupted in a toneless voice, "along with all the Leaf's shinobis within fifty meters radius. I assure you, he was _not_ defenseless."

My fists shook. " _What?_ "

"He was gathering his chakra very discreetly, right from the start. A suicide explosion. He was going to take us all with him. He planned all this… Not only did you fail to notice his intentions, you dropped down your guard completely at the last moment."

I was rendered utterly speechless.

"A shinobi must see through deception," he continued.

" _Stop_!" I screeched out.

"You repeated the very same mistake from that mission," he interjected harshly even though I was already falling apart right in front of him. "Because of your lack of resolve and your misplaced mercy, you endangered the lives of Konoha's people yet again. Moreover, you were the closest to him and even if the others had survived the attack, there was no way you could have. You almost _died_ … right before my eyes."

"Stop, _please_ ," I begged him this time, wrapping my arms around my shuddering form as the tears of humiliations began to drip from my eyes.

Failure really was the worst kind of pain.

"I won't… _console_ you this time." His black eyes were extremely cold now, cruel and implacable as glaciers. That quiet wrath of his was terrifying. "I have no patience for the people who don't learn from their mistakes. Even if I did ask you to consider ANBU, don't forget that it was your own decision to take the exam. Also, I show no mercy to those who intend to do harm to Konoha in any way. Call me heartless or call it my disregard for human's life but that man had it coming."

He turned his back on me this time and started walking away as I sunk down to the ground almost pathetically. Just when I thought he had left, he stopped and turned to look at me from over his shoulder with his dark eyes so apathetic to my misery that it hurt to look at them. "Just so you know, they accepted you in ANBU Black ops, even though Hokage knew you were under my genjutsu at that time. But he still believes that you have a potential to be Konoha's one of the elite shinobis. So… don't let him down."

With that, he disappeared into thin air, leaving me alone and cold as the blood of sunset began to stain the western horizons.

Was it possible that I was ill-suited to be a Shinobi after all?

I didn't know what hurt me more. I wondered if it was my failure, my inability to learn from my mistakes…

Or if it was Itachi's sheer disappointment in me.

* * *

 **A/N:** Yeah, I know. Tragic, but I thought difference between their view-points is important because that's what is going to drive their relationship in the future. Let's hope they will make up soon. ;-)

I am sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes. Usually I get a bit lazy in editing...

Please let me know what you think!

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14**

" _If you cannot get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you may as well make it dance."_

 _-George Bernard Shaw_

* * *

Usually, Hokage's summons filled me up with great anticipation, but on that particular day when I found a messenger bird sitting on my windowsill with a scroll clutched in its claws, I felt nothing. Only exhaustion. My first ANBU day and I was already this exhausted.

I shooed at the bird flippantly after removing its burden and it casted me a look of pure displeasure at my ungratefulness before it disappeared into the vivid, blue skies. "What a drag," I muttered Shikaku-sensei's catch phrase. I was already missing him somehow; maybe that was how he felt every morning… so tired and unmotivated. Perhaps it was due to that long argument I have had with grandmother last night after I had returned home from Naka River bank.

"But you are not fit to be an ANBU!" she had said scathingly.

"I know," I had responded.

Her emerald eyes had widened. She had probably expected a vehement diatribe from my side but my apathetic tone had obviously taken her off-guard. "What do you mean you _know?_ " she had bellowed. "Then why, may I ask, did you take the ANBU exam without my knowledge? Have you completely lost it, girl?"

"It was a mistake," I admitted and then, "Maybe I will hand over my resignation soon. Or maybe I won't. I will see where the fate and _karma_ takes me."

Her eyes had narrowed to slits. "I don't like your tone, girl! You cannot possibly become an ANBU with this kind of half-hearted attitude! If you keep this up, you will be dead soon!"

"I am tired," I responded testily as I slid shut the door of my room. "I need to sleep."

But I had barely gotten any sleep last night and now the dark circles around my eyes almost made me look like a raccoon. With agitated slowness, I took a long shower and dressed up in my usual blue hakama along with my white, short-sleeved blouse and then I trudged my way to Hokage's office. "You are late!" several voices assailed my ears as soon as I opened the door.

"I apologize for my tardiness," I said listlessly as I bowed to Hokage. "I am usually quite punctual."

"Make sure that doesn't happen again," Hiruzen Sarutobi said simply from his desk as he propped his chin over his interlaced fingers.

"Hai." My eyes quickly scanned the room. There was Ryusei (who had made it to ANBU as well), Sumiko Aburame and another man with carroty hair whom I didn't recognize. But I was particularly aware of the Uchiha heir who was crouched on the other side of the room with inscrutable expressions over his face. His forearm rested casually over his raised knee as he appraised me impassively, eyes showing no hints of mercy. I immediately tensed, sensing something ominous. If he was there, then it probably meant that…

"I summoned you," Sandaime stated in an authoritative voice, "to welcome you two to ANBU Black ops, Hyuuga Ryusei and Fukuro Miyuki. You two will be assigned to ANBU squad number 4, which already comprises of Aburame Sumiko and Yamanaka Isamu. And you four will be put under the captaincy of Uchiha Itachi. Is that understood?"

"Hai!" everybody exclaimed in unison. Well, everybody except for me.

"Are there any questions?"

For a moment, nobody said a thing and then I dared to speak up albeit a bit tremulously. "Excuse me Hokage-sama, but may I be transferred to some other squad?"

Everybody pinned me down with their dirty glances; even Ryusei seemed downright furious at my defiance.

I felt exceedingly uncomfortable under the Hokage's continued scrutiny who had betrayed no signs of emotions at my sudden request, almost as if he came across insubordinate ninjas like me all the times. "Fukuro Miyuki," he said almost wearily, "you are well-aware of the fact that we demand complete obedience from ANBU members, right?"

"I am aware of that," I responded in a grudging tone of voice.

"Good, then there shouldn't be any complaints."

Well.

It was worth a try, at least.

"As it happens, you two will be issued codenames and masks soon, but before that, get better acquainted with each other. Learn each other's weaknesses and strengths so that you can cover each other in the future. Understand?"

"Hai!"

"Very well then. Dismissed."

Others exited the office quickly while I shuffled after them, dragging my feet with some agitation. I knew I wasn't making a very good impression even though I was well aware of the fact that first impressions were always the most lasting. Not only had I made them wait, I had even gone out of my way to make it known that I did not appreciate being in their squad. No wonder Sumiko Aburame and that carroty-haired Yamanaka were glaring daggers at me now, but it wasn't as if I had anything personal against them. It was only because I had decided to stay away from Itachi after what had happened yesterday. _Karma_ , I thought, gritting my teeth. It was finally catching up with me.

Itachi, our ANBU captain, who was in the lead (as always) suddenly halted and all of us looked up at him expectantly as he turned to eye us from over his shoulder. "Training ground eleven," he said and then disappeared. I blinked at the place he had just vacated.

The carroty haired Isamu Yamanaka groaned. "I hate it when he does that," he grumbled. "And here I had decided to stop by at Ichiraku's. He must have known that I haven't had breakfast yet and is just trying to torture me right now."

"Nobody has had breakfast yet, Isamu," Sumiko pointed out dryly.

"Yes, but none of you are _hypoglycemic,_ are you?" he shot back. "None of you faint when you haven't had something to eat every few hours, do you? Oh boy, I am already feeling dizzy."

Ryusei and I exchanged glances. We had never heard of a hypoglycemic ninja before. Yamanaka Isamu looked like in his late-teens with a tall, muscular frame even though his lazy slouch made him look two inches shorter. His sun-streaked, carroty hair fell haphazardly into his gray eyes, but few strands were tucked at the side to reveal the three ear-rings he wore in his left ear. His face was lightly peppered with freckles along with bright splotches of red as if he was badly sunburnt.

Sumiko casted an unimpressed look at Isamu. "You are not hypoglycemic. You are just an incorrigible hypochondriac. Now let's go to the training grounds before the Captain gets angry."

"Why do you call him 'Captain'?" Isamu grumbled. "He was your teammate since your genin days, wasn't he?"

"But he is my captain now," Sumiko said coolly.

"Well, I couldn't sleep last night," I announced, sounding like Shikaku-sensei as I yawned. "So I will just go and catch up on my sleep. I am sure _captain_ will understand."

I was just about to take off when Ryusei grabbed me by collar. "Oh no you don't," he said sternly. "I won't let you skip out on our first meeting as ANBU even if you do hate the fact that some _Uchiha_ is your captain. Get over it!"

I flashed him my best glare. "Quit nagging like a grandma and let go of me."

But he stubbornly held on.

Sumiko remained indifferent as ever but Isamu looked quite interested and amused. "So you hate the Uchiha too? Join the club! I believe from the bottom of my heart that _I_ should have been the Captain of this squad, not _him_. Well, I would have been one but this world just seems to be conspiring against the sick people. Just because I have a _fatal_ Systemic Lupus Erythematosus while that Uchiha is healthy as a horse—"

"You do not have Lupus or fatal _anything_ , Isamu," Sumiko said smoothly and then turned to us. "Like I said, he is just a very big hypochondriac and uses it to gain sympathy all the times. So don't take him seriously."

"Ah, like I said, conspiracy against the sick people." He gave me a meaningful look. "Well, let's go and get it over with before I lose my consciousness or something. Our _honorable_ captain has tendency to get irritated whenever we are late. It is not like I can expect him to empathize with the disabling pains of the ailing man like me anyway."

I followed after them unwillingly. I knew I couldn't, once again, give in to my habit of procrastination because whether I liked it or not, Itachi was my captain now and interaction with him was inevitable.

I could tell that Itachi was, by no means, amused by our tardiness but he was way above chastising us for it. He did, however, impale us all with those chilling eyes of his until we started fidgeting nervously under his unnerving gaze. Somehow, it was way worse than getting reprimanded.

For some reasons, I found myself remembering those words he had spoken yesterday and I tensed even more. _I have no patience for those who don't learn from their mistakes_. Since when did our relationship become like this?

"You made me wait," he said simply.

"Sorry, honorable _captain_ ," Isamu drawled, unrepentant. "I am sorry if you had to wait few minutes because of the complications of my chronic, _fatal_ illness..." Just before he could finish his sentence, Itachi tossed him something— a packaged onigiri, which Isamu caught, blinking.

"For your supposedly 'fatal' hypoglycemia. Now quit complaining and pay attention." Itachi's tone was authoritative and his words concise. I had never seen him like this before; it was almost surprising, although it shouldn't have been… He was an ANBU captain now after all. And a charismatic one at that.

"I want all of you to tell me your elements, your strengths and weaknesses. Aburame, you first."

"What, no likes or dislikes or hobbies?" Isamu drawled sarcastically.

"I know what they are," Itachi said dryly.

"My name is Aburame Sumiko and my element is Earth release," Sumiko stated dutifully. "My strength lies in battling with my companion _Jasmine_ and my weakness lies in dealing with the lightning based jutsus. I am also the medic of this squad."

"My name," Isamu started cockily, "is Yamanaka Isamu and I should have been your captain, if this world had any justice—"

"Yamanaka," Itachi warned.

"Just kidding. My element is Water release. My strength lies in taking over people's bodies and making them do the most humiliating, unthinkable things—"

"Yamanaka."

"Alright, alright, just taking over their bodies with my Mind Body Disturbance jutsu. I can control their bodies and make the opponents join our side temporarily. A very useful technique, even if I say so myself. And my weaknesses?" he gave out a theatrical, long-suffering sigh. "Where to start? Well, you see, not only do I have chronic Lupus, but also I am suffering from a rare case of autoimmune arthritis which makes me really tired during the battles. Also, I have a very bad case of asthma and sometimes, I tend to forget things due to my Alzheimer. Oh and—"

"That," Itachi interrupted, "would be it, Yamanaka. You next, Hyuuga."

"My name is Hyuuga Ryusei and my element is Lightning release. My strength lies in my eight trigram techniques and my Byakugan…"

"Your range?" Itachi asked.

"Twelve kilometers," Ryusei replied proudly with his trademarks haughtiness and then paused for the effect. "As for my weaknesses, well…um…"

"His overconfidence and his ability to underestimate his opponents," I provided helpfully. "Generally, his ability to believe that he has no weakness. Also his irrational phobia of _insects._ "

He shot me a glare almost as if I had betrayed him somehow. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Sumiko smirk. "I remember it all too well," she said.

"Well, then," Itachi looked at me directly this time. "Your turn, Fukuro."

"My name is Fukuro Miyuki and my element is Wind release," I started tonelessly. "My strength lies in my kekkei genkai Teishi Jikan which allows me to stop the time, only for myself that is."

"Your limit?" Itachi inquired.

"Six seconds now."

"And your weaknesses?"

"My weakness is genjutsu and my inability to learn from my mistakes."

An awkward silence followed. I could feel everyone's curious eyes on me now at my unusual announcement but I ignored them and stood there apathetically, refusing to acknowledge Itachi's penetrating gaze. Thankfully he didn't say anything about it and proceeded to enlighten us about his own strengths and weaknesses. His element was Fire release (my weakness.) His strengths were many (Genjutsu, according to him) and his weakness (I was _very_ intrigued by this discovery) was his lack of stamina.

We discussed several tactics, our formation during the missions, our approach to the enemy and some ingenious battle strategies which Itachi had probably designed all by himself. By the end of the session, everyone was staring at Itachi with their eyes brimming with the appreciation of his brilliant, awe-inspiring mind, almost as if they were beholding the divine, mythical Sage of Six Paths himself. Well, everyone, except for me. I just glowered at Itachi, secretly envious and even resentful towards him because I had finally realized— and accepted that he really was way out of my league. If he had noticed my antipathy, he didn't say anything about it.

"In the meantime, you two," he nodded at me and Ryusei, "will undergo special ANBU training until you catch up with us, understand?"

"Hai!" Ryusei said enthusiastically while I just nodded, sullen as ever.

"Dismissed."

"Aww _, captain_ ," Isamu quickly grabbed Itachi by his sleeve before he could teleport himself away from us idiots. "Let's go to Ichiraku's together. Now that we have found new members for our squad, we must spend some quality bonding time together. What do you think?"

Itachi just gave out a sigh as if he was used to of Isamu's theatrics.

"That won't be necessary…" My voice trailed off when I realized that everybody was already headed for the Ichiraku's, including Itachi and Ryusei (that traitor). "Well, I will just go to the Dango-shop, then," I said with almost childish stubbornness.

"Don't be a spoilsport!" Ryusei grabbed me by my wrist and started dragging me along with him, eager to join his other 'ANBU buddies'. "You cannot just live on Dangos alone. It is not healthy."

"As if ramen is any healthier," I grumbled but let him get away with it for now.

I almost shuddered when Itachi ordered a cabbage ramen and focused on the swirls over narutomaki of my own miso-ramen instead, trying to ignore others. For some reason, I felt too depressed and moody to eat. Just a stool away from me, a small boy, approximately seven years of age, sat slurping his ramen noodles boisterously as if he had no worries in the world. He looked like he had been dipped in the jar of sunshine when he was born for his hair was extremely golden and his cheeks were now flushed with all steam from the ramen. As I sat there looking at him, I thought about how innocent and how very happy he looked. Nobody would have been able to guess that he had a nine-tail sealed inside of him.

He caught me staring at him for he flashed me a wide smile that was so beautiful that I could only gape at him like an idiot. "I forgot to bring any money, _dattebayo_!" he leaned forward to whisper to me, not caring that he was spitting ramen soup in my face. "But I was _really, really_ hungry."

I immediately felt pity for him. He was an orphan after all and didn't even have a belligerent, old, cabbage-loving dragon of a grandmother like mine waiting for him at home. "Don't worry, I will—"

"So can you distract the old man Ichiraku while I escape? You are a ninja, aren't you?" He eyed the Konoha headband at my forehead with eagerness and obvious envy. "Just wait, I, Naruto Uzumaki, am going to be the biggest Hokage this village has ever seen, _dattebayo_!" he exclaimed so loudly and so exuberantly that every civilian in our vicinity turned around to flash him snide glares.

"Well, congratulations," I chided him lightly. "Weren't you just going to sneak away? Now Ichiraku knows you are here and you won't be able to escape without paying."

He immediately looked crestfallen, as if a candle had just been blown out and he scratched his hair sheepishly. "Oh no, what do I do now?" he moaned.

I couldn't help but smile. "I will pay for you," I told him.

"Really? You would do that? Nobody pays for me, dattebayo. But wait till I become a Hokage. I will kick their butts and…" he suddenly paused and his eyes widened. "Oh no! Bullies are coming this way. Gotta go!"

I almost wanted to ask him to stay but he had already sprinted away, taking whatever sunshine he had with him, leaving me alone to sulk with my 'ANBU buddies.' Belatedly, I realized that both Isamu and Sumiko had mysteriously disappeared, leaving me and Ryusei alone with Itachi. It seemed like they had already planned this so that they won't have to pay for their ramen.

"I would have paid," Ryusei said, standing up, "but I need to leave urgently. I just remembered that I had a training session with my father. Can't miss it, sorry. See you."

" _Ryusei!_ " I gasped out almost desperately. "Get back here this instant or I will impale you against the tree!" _Don't leave me alone with Itachi!_

But he had already lifted the flap of the stall and had disappeared. I gritted my teeth, unable to believe what had just happened. I realized that the chopsticks in my hands had just snapped into half. "Here." Itachi passed me another pair which I took gingerly, trying not to touch his skin by mistake.

"Thank you," I said stiffly and immediately started gobbling up my now cold, left-over noodles, eager to escape the suddenly stifling tension in the air. Neither of us spoke and after a while, I began to feel extremely self-conscious of eating in front of him while he just sat there, looking at me with his ramen bowl empty. "If you have already eaten, you don't have to wait for me," I said pointedly. "I am bit of a slow-eater, you see."

"I know."

That small, knowing smirk over his face sent a flare of annoyance through me. "Can't you take a hint?" I snapped at him, finally losing my patience. "I just politely asked you to leave! I will pay for everyone so just _go!_ "

"I will wait for you to finish," he responded coolly.

"I can't eat with you staring at me like this!" I blurted out.

"Why?" He raised a perfect brow almost as if he was amused.

"Because it is _creepy_! It makes me nervous and—" I quickly modulated my voice before the people started staring at us. I was not the one to cause scenes in public and I knew that it wouldn't do well for our reputation; Itachi was quite famous, after all and gossip tended to spread in Konoha like a wildfire. I certainly didn't want to have an entire herd of Itachi's infuriating fan-girls accosting me in some blind alley after this. "Look, I know you hate me, so let's just skip these pleasantries and this pointless chivalry. Just leave… I am pretty sure you have better things to do. I will pay for everyone so—"

"I already paid for everyone."

"Why?" I sputtered out. "You don't have to do that for _me_ — I am more than capable of paying for myself, thank you."

"It was my treat as a captain." He met my emphatic glare steadily. "Furthermore, you are wrong. I don't hate you."

"Could have fooled me," I muttered.

"I realize that I was a bit _… harsh_ yesterday. No, I was _unfair_ to you. Forgive me; I had something else on my mind and I took it out on you. Sometimes, I tend to get frustrated with people. You see, sometimes I have to remind myself that we all are just… _humans_."

I balled my fingers into fists until my knuckles turned white. "Actually," I murmured with my eyes downcast. "I am sorry… You were right. I should have thought over the possibility of a suicide attack. I know many ninjas do it and I conveniently…"

"There was no way you could have known for sure," he said quietly, reaching out with his fingers to extricate the new pair of chopsticks from my hand before I snapped it into half as well. "You didn't have Sharingan, unlike me. But still, what irritated me was that you dropped down your guard completely. That was a very foolish move; you could have been killed… And also, you just assumed that he was defenseless just because he was beaten down and bound…"

"But they were chakra ropes!" I protested.

"I can easily summon back my chakra even if somebody binds me with chakra ropes."

"Fine, _Captain_." I sighed as I took back my chopsticks from him, feeling like a child of five who had just been chastised by an adult. "You have made your point."

"Never trust appearances," he went on, pinning me down with a significant look. "They are almost always deceiving. In a ninja world, you cannot afford to see everything based on your own preconceptions. You must think— and see deeper. Everybody has an ulterior motive."

For some reasons, this made me feel even more morose than I already was. "So if you want to make one person happy, you have to hurt someone else for it," I concluded gloomily. "That doesn't sound like a happy world to me."

"No, it doesn't," he agreed. "But perhaps, one day things will be different. Maybe a day will come when we no longer would have to deceive people to keep them happy. When we no longer would have to kill someone to protect another."

I looked into his eyes, eyes that were so kind somehow, so compassionate, even though he held so much power in them. "Have you…" I whispered, "Have you ever thought about changing this world?"

He held my gaze evenly. "Have _you_?"

"More times than I can count," I admitted with a sigh. "But if it is _you_ , you can probably do it. You know, you give me that sort of vibe. You can change this world… I just _know_ it."

He smiled, but there was sadness in it, a kind of loneliness I didn't know how to interpret. "You give me too much credit," he said. "And besides, if you don't like the way this world works, change it yourself."

I rolled my eyes. "I can't even change _myself_ , how can I change the world?"

"I…" he said, a faraway look entering his eyes, "I wanted to change the world too once, but now I realize that it is not that easy, is it? It is easier to change yourself first."

"…I suppose you are right," I allowed.

"So will you quit sulking now and start taking your ANBU duties seriously? Don't forget, you chose this path."

"I wasn't sulking!" I contradicted heatedly.

"Could have fooled me."

Despite myself, I smiled at how he flung back my own words at me.

It wasn't a happy world, indeed. But it had its moments.

* * *

 **A/N:** Itachi is a more of a platonic sort of person, isn't he?

Oh well, I get quite busy nowadays, you know, college and endless ward duties and exams, so I can't always reply to your reviews but they are much appreciated! Thank you for reading.

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15**

" _In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."  
― Albert Camus_

* * *

Our first mission as an ANBU was supposedly an A-ranked mission.

"It is not that hard of a mission," Hokage had assured us. "Apparently there is a very powerful Daimyo by the name of Hiroshi Suzuki who has founded his stronghold in a town called Amewasa at the eastern border of the land of lightning. He is involved in human-trafficking and has abducted almost fifty civilians from Konoha to sell them at Kumogakure. All you need to do is free those civilians and assassinate Hiroshi Suzuki. But I am warning you, this mission can turn into a full-fledged S-ranked mission, because this Hiroshi Suzuki has a big influence on Raikage and intelligence has it that he is able to hire ANBUs from Kumogakure. So, that is the reason why I am sending you, even though I could have sent some jounin squad.

"Also I want it known that Konoha shinobis were the ones who defeated Hiroshi Suzuki so you won't be wearing your masks or using your codenames for this mission. Is that understood?"

"Hai!"

"Very well then, dismissed."

…..

I stared guiltily at my porcelain, owl-shaped ANBU mask that rested over the cupboard in my room. Despite the fact that I had intensified my training even more and had learnt many special ANBU techniques and tactics over the past month, I still felt severely inadequate and unconfident, as if I really wasn't cut out for this. I blamed it all on the ANBU exam curriculum— how could they choose someone like me as an ANBU anyway? It was one thing for me to so foolishly believe that I could make an ANBU and it was entirely another thing for me to actually get chosen.

I sighed as I gathered up my hair in a simple, high ponytail and buckled up my ANBU vest over my black, elbow-length sleeved blouse and slacks. My uniform made me feel a lot more restricted that I usually did in my hakama even though it was designed to enhance mobility. I had sheathed my katana in the scabbard behind my back and was about to jump out of the window when Grandmother barged in my room, looking absolutely disgruntled with my new outfit.

"Leaving without even saying goodbye?" she boomed. "Just tell me where I went wrong with you! You refuse to follow even the simple rules of courtesy now."

"Farewell, Obaa-san," I said coolly, ignoring her martyred tone of voice.

"I never thought I would live to see this day!" she went on crabbily. "I never thought I would see you in this inappropriate ensemble—no doubt your parents must be turning in their graves now!"

"My _parents_ ," I said testily, "would be proud of what I am, unlike you!"

"Your father," she shot back, "made me promise that I would protect you—not only from physical harm but your spirit and your morals as well but you are so eager to throw away all my lifelong efforts to join something as unscrupulous as _ANBU_! It is not something a respectable Fukuro would do. How many times do I have to say this—it will _destroy_ you!"

A wave of unbridled fury swept through me and I realized that there really was no one who actually believed in me—not even me myself. "Goodbye, Obaa-san," I managed to rasp out as I let myself out of the window and slammed it shut.

I could almost feel tears stinging my eyes. _Great_ , I thought as I hurtled down the staircase of the Nisshoku shrine. It was my first ANBU mission and I was already an emotional wreck.

I knew I was getting late but something stopped me. I took a detour through the dirt pathway shrouded in the grove of cypress and maple trees that led to the Fukuro cemetery over the hillside. The mountains were always quiet but the silence of the graveyard in the blue haze of morning was specially disconcerting and eerie as it enveloped me, almost as if it was something alive and tangible. Spider-lilies and late-summer irises were blooming all around from the soil that probably took its essence from the dead resting there. I ignored my ancestor's graves and silently crept my way to my where my parents lay. Haphazardly, I arranged the white chrysanthemum blooms— that I had plucked from hillside earlier— over their gravestones. I wished I had made them something more elaborate. A wreath perhaps, the way I had learnt to make in my flower-arrangement classes.

"Please tell me you are proud of me," I whispered to the silence.

There was no answer.

I sighed and turned around to walk away. As I passed through the cemetery gates, I was more than just astonished to find the Uchiha prodigy leaning casually against an old cypress tree with his hands in his pockets. He was also dressed up in the standard ANBU uniform minus his mask with Konoha headband displayed proudly over his forehead and ANBU symbol tattooed over his bicep.

I quickly wiped away any vestiges of tears from my eyes before I could fully face my ANBU captain. It really did seem like he always appeared in one of my most vulnerable moments. Was he doing that on purpose?

"Your parents?" he asked softly.

"Yes," I confirmed.

He didn't say anything else; nevertheless, his presence was comforting, almost reassuring as if I could really anchor my teetering boat to his calm, secure shores and I was almost glad that he had decided to follow me here.

"Let's go," he said, straightening up. "Others are waiting."

…

Our formation was just as our captain had specified, with Ryusei and Itachi in the lead because of their dojutsus and me at the center so that the enemy would be in the range of my Teishi Jikan from all sides. Isamu and Sumiko—with her sensory insects— were at the tail end.

The village hidden in the clouds was four days and three night away on the breakneck pace Itachi had ordered us to maintain, much to Isamu's resentment, who kept complaining incessantly about his arthritis and backaches throughout the first two days, even though these mysterious ailments of his didn't seem to be slowing him down at all. "My chest seriously hurt, man," Isamu moaned. "If I moved around too much, I will drop dead from the heart attack. Is that what you want, captain?"

"You can stay behind if you want, by all means," Itachi said from the front as he flitted sinuously from one branch to another with sharp precision and purposefulness of an experienced shinobi.

"That is heartless, captain, _heartless_!" Isamu cried out. "We have been travelling since twelve hours straight and you haven't allowed us _any_ break. It is bad enough that we have to rely on these food-pills. Do you even know how many side-effects—"

"I thought I was the medic-nin here," Sumiko said smoothly.

"How can you even call yourself a medic-nin if you can't even diagnose my illness?"

"Because you have no illness."

I sighed and resisted an urge to snap at him. Seriously, who made him an ANBU anyway? He seemed even more immature than the most genins. I had expected lot of professionalism on my first ANBU mission, not this circus. Ignoring him, I let my mind lapse into serene silence as the miles slipped away beneath my sandaled feet. Since I was not the sensory type of ninja, I could allow my thoughts to drift off a bit until Sumiko, Ryusei or Itachi informed me of the imminent danger. As much as I liked traveling, I realized that I was getting a bit tired and hoped that Itachi would cave in to Isamu's whining soon and allow us to regain our strength. Though I was proficient in ninjutsu, my physical strength wasn't something I could always rely on; Fukuros just weren't born with that much power in our muscles, the way Uchihas or Hyuugas were.

Finally, Itachi allowed us to rest and to even hunt and cook a decent meal on the second night, which I thought was very generous of him, until he warned us that he would allow us no breaks on the oncoming days since we needed to reach Kumogakure as soon as possible. "Slave-driver," I muttered, kneading my sore thighs.

He raised a perfect brow. "Did you say something?"

"No. Not at all."

To our delight, the woods were full of roosting pheasants which we snatched off from the branches and cooked over the campfire which Itachi had made with his fireball jutsu. This was certainly better than all the food-pills and badgers we were forced to eat most of the times. "Do you realize what day today is?" Isamu said brightly as he sat over the rock, his teeth ripping through pheasant's leg-piece and his eyes reflecting the campfire.

Nobody seemed even vaguely interested and I felt a bit bad for him. It probably wasn't very pleasant to be the only talkative person in the squad-full of silent, insipid zombies. "It is Tanabata today, right?" I cleared my throat and said.

"Right!" he exclaimed. "Isn't it a pity that we are away from Konoha on Tanabata?"

"Not particularly," Ryusei said, nibbling at the piece of his meat thoughtfully. I knew that the festivals like Tanabata were probably very tedious affairs at Hyuuga compound, especially for someone like Ryusei.

"Isn't it a pity that we wouldn't even get to make wishes today?" Isamu sighed almost pensively.

Yet again, nobody responded.

Suddenly, fire in his eyes lit up. "Hey, I know. Let's celebrate Tanabata right here!"

"Yamanaka," Itachi warned but he ignored him.

"But we don't have the paper-charm strips or the sacred bamboo tree to hang our wishes from!" I protested.

He rolled his eyes. "You people have no imaginations." He pointed at a distinctive willow tree on the edge of the clearing, shimmering surreally in the moonlight. "This will be our sacred wishing tree."

"Why?" Sumiko deadpanned.

"Because _I_ said so," he declared, standing up with resolution. "And we don't need the paper-charms. We can write our wishes on… these _bandages._ "

Everybody looked at him as if he had lost his mind. "Yamanaka," Itachi said sternly. "I think you have forgotten the fact that you are here on a mission."

Isamu visibly wilted under Itachi's severe eyes but remained defiant. "No wonder you are so lifeless, _captain_ ," he retorted. "One must always be able to find a way to mingle pleasure with the business. That is called _living_."

Itachi's eyes narrowed but he didn't say anything.

"Let's do it then!" I exclaimed, standing up before it all escalated to something serious. "It does seem a bit unfair… Every one back home is probably enjoying the festival, hanging their wishes on the bamboo tree at Nisshoku shrine. I do feel a bit left out. All we have to do is hang our wishes from the tree and burn them in the morning, right?"

Isamu beamed at me exuberantly while Itachi just sighed, finally relenting. Sumiko and Ryusei didn't seem all that excited about it either but at least Isamu looked appeased. In the end we had a good time, writing and rewriting our wishes on the thin strips of the bandages and trying to read each other's wishes over their shoulders.

" _Good health and long life_ ," Isamu had written. " _Also let me be the handsomest man in Konoha."_

"Fat chance," Sumiko had snorted. Her wish had been to find a mate for Jasmine.

"I think you should start wishing for finding a mate for _yourself_ ," Isamu had shot back albeit light-heartedly, "since that is going to be much harder. And I know I would have been the handsomest man on earth if it wasn't for my _scabies_!"

"But scabies doesn't usually affect the face," Sumiko pointed out. "It is just your horrible acne."

" _Let me be the strongest in the Hyuuga clan_ ," Ryusei had written.

"But wouldn't that be treason?" Isamu asked, wiggling his eyebrows impishly at him. "Aren't the clan-leaders supposed to be the strongest? Who knew that behind your innocent exterior, you were always plotting to murder your Uncle Hiashi and Hinata-hime in cold blood?"

"That isn't what I meant!" Ryusgei protested and snickering, I snatched away his bandage to write ' _let me overcome my fear of insects_ ' on it.

Writing my own wish was harder than I thought since so much had happened since the year. Usually I would always write inconsequential things like ' _Let me become stronger than every Uchiha_ ' or ' _Please make my grandmother stop nagging me for once'_ but this time, things were different.

Itachi's bandage held one word only _:_ 平和

 _Peace_.

…..

I sat over the wishing willow tree on the last watch with my legs dangling in the air. The nights were colder up here in the north than in Konoha. Heavy chill clung to the sleeping tree branches and even managed to permeate through the dark cloaks we were all wearing to ward off the cold. The waxing moon and the stars shimmered softly against the purple-black skies and in murky glow of the night, I could make out the figures of my sleeping comrades.

For some reason, I found myself looking at Itachi.

In the pale starlight that reflected off his chiseled face and darkened the ink of his smooth, fine hair, he looked like some sort of dark angel, almost as if he was a surreal figment of my imaginations. But the even rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed was the only thing that reminded me that he was just a human.

He was sitting against the tree with his katana clutched in his arms and his eyes closed, almost as if he was meditating and not really sleeping. I knew that he was very light sleeper because his eyes would snap open even on the softest whispers of the sounds. I wondered if the nightmares clawed their way into his sleep too like they did with me sometimes.

I realized that he had changed a lot since the last years, to the point that it almost scared me, because sometimes, I could no longer see the boy who used to be my best friend in him. His eyes were far too cold, experienced and mature, almost as if he was carrying the weight of the world over his shoulders. Mostly, he exuded the air of aloofness and self-confidence and so, people automatically felt the need to rely on him but I could sense that beneath his self-possessed, stoic facade, he was lonely.

So much that sometimes, I could feel his loneliness seeping into me.

"You were supposed to be keeping watch."

I gasped as I heard my branch creak under the added weight of someone else and immediately reached for my katana but a cold hand slithered out and grabbed my wrist. " _Uchiha!_ " I choked out and my breathing returned to normal as I took in his familiar, captivating midnight eyes. How did he move so fast? "You were supposed to be sleeping!"

He released my wrist and settled back on my branch. "And you were supposed to be keeping watch, not daydreaming."

"I wasn't daydreaming," I said stubbornly, recovering from the initial shock. "Why are your hands freezing? Where is your cloak?"

He pointed in the direction of Isamu Yamanaka who was now wearing Itachi's cloak as well as his own. Itachi's face twisted into expressions that could only be described as disgruntled. "He seems to have caught cold." He shook his head, thoroughly irritated. "I wonder why I don't kick that sniveling fool off my squad. Sometimes, he is just a liability."

I chuckled at his exasperation. "But I don't dislike him," I said candidly. "He has the strongest spirit of us all. We all know that we are going to die someday, sooner than others, but before that happens, he is trying to live the best he can. That's what intrigues me about him."

Itachi shrugged noncommittally. "Most shinobis are just expected to exist, not live. We are merely tools so that others may continue to live."

"You have become a cynic, just like an old man," I remarked chidingly. "Act a bit more your age, can't you? What is wrong with really trying to _live_ in the short lifespan we have? When I die, I don't want to have any regrets."

"But most of the times death comes when you least expect it," he pointed out.

"True," I said, rather curtly. "So if he is a liability, why don't you just kick him off the squad?"

Faraway look crossed his eyes.

"It is probably because he is so different from me," he admitted. "And in one way or another, he reminds me of Sasuke."

I found myself beaming as I remembered Itachi's bratty younger brother and then sighed. I could certainly see the resemblance. "But won't you catch cold yourself this way? I know you feel that it is your duty as a captain to look out for everyone but—"

"Fukuro." His tone was dark and menacing now, almost as if he was annoyed at me for even suggesting something so ludicrous. "Do I look like the kind of person who catches cold easily? I would prefer it if you don't count me in the same category as him."

This made me frown.

I reached out to surround his cold hands with my warm ones, ignoring the shiver that ran through me as some of the chill from his skin transferred into mine. "What," he asked, almost bemusedly, "are you doing?"

"You are not invincible," I said quietly, rubbing his hands in both of mine, trying to restore some warmth in them by friction. I realized that his hands were more masculine now, callused with long, aristocratic fingers, way bigger than my small ones with my spindly fingers; it made me feel strangely wistful… I knew that there were still some mornings when I woke up with these yearnings, wishing that we could both go back to those happy, carefree times when we were just six years old.

But he was no longer that boy with a gentle, innocent smile and dark hair grazing against his collars. He was almost a man now.

His hands had been sullied by blood far too many times and I knew that he was capable of doing things not even grown-up ninjas could dream of.

And yet…

"To me, you are just a human," I whispered. "I know that everyone else thinks of you as something else, a tool, a prodigy or an epitome of disgusting perfection or whatever the hell it is they think you are. You feel that you have to carry their burdens because you have been granted power. You think you have to protect everyone and sully your hands for the sake of others because it is your duty. But I don't see it… You don't have to be strong in front of me. To me, you will always be just a human!"

His long fingers curled around mine in response, stilling my therapeutic massage of his hands as his intense eyes bore into mine searchingly. This should have made me nervous but I didn't break the eye-contact.

For the first time, I could actually read what was swimming in their dark, fathomless depths, things I had never seen before; his eyes were like a mystifying kaleidoscope of his emotions, loneliness, sadness, gratitude…

But then his inscrutable mask was back, along with a faint hint of smirk tugging at his lips. "I don't know," he murmured silkily, "whether to be flattered or to be insulted that you see me as an ordinary human and nothing else."

I immediately let go of his hands and turned away from him, a bit hurt and embarrassed by his sarcastic tone. But seriously though, what was I thinking? Where did that hell of a speech come from? "Well," I said, scratching the back of my head, feeling even more awkward and sheepish as the moments went by, as if I had made a complete, utter fool out of myself. "Dawn is almost about to break. Maybe we should wake up others and—"

Suddenly his cold arms were around me and his icy cheek was cradled against the crook of my neck. _"Uchiha!_ " I choked out, stiffening as I felt his breath against the sensitive skin of my nape. The foreign sensation of his soft, silky hair tickling the side of my cheek made me go even more rigid. "What do you think you are doing?"

"I am still feeling a bit cold," he whispered in my ear and a sliver of chill ran through me.

"I didn't say that so you can go ahead and do… do something like this!"

His arms around me tightened. "Don't be so stingy. Share some of your warmth with me."

"But—"

"For a moment," he said. "Just for a moment, stay like this."

Something about his voice and this unusual display of his weakness made me relax. Tentatively, I glided my thin arms across his shoulders in a soothing gesture, trying to transfer some of my plentiful heat into him.

For some reasons, I felt so ineffably serene as I listened to his steady heartbeat against mine, almost as if he was the one comforting me, not the other way round. It was at this moment that I realized that no matter how hard I had tried to deny it, he had already become someone who would always be my biggest weakness, even though I would never say it out loud. I just wished I could make him spill out all his secrets and whatever it was that was making him this distant and lonely.

But more than that, I wished I could stop the time with my Teishi Jikan and stay with him like this forever over our wishing willow tree. But I knew that this moment wouldn't last.

Not when so many things stood between us.

"You have gotten even warmer," he observed. "In fact _… Are you blushing_?"

" _That does it!_ " I immediately shoved him away with a deathly glare, letting my hair slide down to cover my flaming cheeks. I could tell that he was amused and wondered, with some chagrin, why he found it so much fun to tease me and at such inopportune moment!

I was about to kick him off the branch but then I realized that his eyes were already growing cold and distant again, as if he had forgotten all about me. His halfhearted attempt at humor was obviously to hide something else.

"Are you okay?" I found the courage to ask him at last, the question I had been meaning to ask for a long time. "Something seems wrong. Is… Is everything alright at your home?"

But he had already retreated back behind those fortified, flinty walls he was always hiding behind nowadays. His implacable guard was up.

"Of course," he said smoothly. "What made you think otherwise?"

….

In the morning, just before resuming our journey, we burnt down our wishes until they were reduced to ashes and that was when it occurred to me that we were already leaving behind our wishes for the duty.

* * *

 **A/N:** Yes, this is a MASSACRE story. I don't think Itachi would be the Itachi we know without massacre, ne?

Thank you once again, for reading and let me know what you think!

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 16**

" _Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process, he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."_

 _-Friedrich Nietzsche_

* * *

In the end, it did turn into the S-ranked mission, just as Hokage had warned.

When we reached the cloud-shrouded Suzuki fortress, we realized that it was heavily guarded by several ANBUs and chunins who had probably expected that Konoha would try and free the slaves. Itachi had already interrogated one of the guards under his genjutsu. Measuring the situation quickly with the precocious mind which, unfortunately, only he possessed, he asked us to split.

"Yamanaka, Hyuuga, you two scale the eastern walls and go for the slaves that are being kept in the dungeons under the Eastern tower. Aburame and Fukuro, come with me. We are going after Hiroshi Suzuki himself. All of us will meet at the rendezvous point right here, is that clear?"

"Hai!"

Ryusei and Isamu immediately disappeared into the misty night, their faces dead serious; even Isamu was completely attentive now, with no signs of his earlier lightheartedness or lethargy. Itachi's inky hair fluttered fluidly in the cold breeze as he skipped over the slanted roofs with us in the tow, his hawk-like eyes focused and sharp.

I tried to control my accelerating heartbeat as he beckoned us to stop and hide instead. We sat there, pressed against the cold tiles of the roof, counting our breaths. His penetrating crimson eyes were trained at the shadowy row of the ninjas that were guarding the entrance, so it took me everything not to jump in surprise when his gloved hand touched my knee very deliberately.

"You ready?" he whispered, his eyes never moving away from the enemy.

I had been feeling a bit nervous a moment ago but looking at him this way, so calm and self-assured, all my uneasiness seemed to ebb away. Perhaps this was the reason why he was ranked best among the ANBU captains. It wasn't as if he was arrogant at all, but he unmistakably had an air of someone who couldn't possibly be conquered or vanquished. It was his deathly calm in the face of chaos. It was his confidence, as if he had everything under control, almost as if we had nothing to fear when he was there.

So I squared my shoulders. "Of course."

"It is the _Uchiha_!"

Several terrified screams resounded through the walls of the corridors. We easily incapacitated many Chunin-level Cloud nins that came charging our way from every corner, as if they were nothing but a swarm of mosquitoes and without too many difficulties, we managed to reach the main tower where Hiroshi Suzuki was hiding behind a wall of about ten ANBU members who sneered down at us.

"Itachi Uchiha," one of them said snidely. "Never thought I would have the pleasure of meeting the much feared Uchiha prodigy in flesh. Let's see if you are as good as they say."

For some reasons, it annoyed me a bit, although I betrayed no emotions as I stood behind Itachi's shoulder, with my Katana at ready. Uchiha's fierce and invincible reputation had apparently managed to spread its talons all the way to this far-off land and nobody seemed to even know what Fukuro was.

For a while, both parties stood, measuring each other and then I saw Itachi's gloved hand around his katana tighten and dark, foreboding chakra around him rise. " _Charge_!" he commanded, his crimson eyes swirling dangerously.

Ignoring the apprehension in the pit of my stomach, I swerved to the right side of ANBU wall and hurtled towards them like a kunai. " _Teishi Jikan_!" I shouted and immediately managed to get rid of first two members in the line, who were now bleeding profusely from their shoulders. "How d-did you…" one of them grimaced, coughing out blood. "S-So fast."

I knew I had caught them off-guard but now other members were more than just prepared to meet my attacks. So, I engaged in the battle of the swords and shurikens, dodging their attacks and parrying dexterously, looking for the opening to use my kekkei genkai once again without spilling all its secrets.

Beside me, Itachi had already immobilized most of the enemy ANBU members successfully with his deadly genjutsu and was now standing directly in front of the pudgy, overdressed feudal lord who was shivering with fear; his face was glowing several shades of purple as if he was choking on the gold and rubies choker he was wearing around his neck.

"Hiroshi Suzuki." Itachi's voice was cool yet lethal as he pressed his gleaming katana's blade against the man's several chins; his dark aura screamed of a predator and his blood-red eyes were devoid of even a sliver of mercy. He was a true assassin now and I could only stare at him helplessly with some kind of morbid fascination as he calmly prepared to take life of someone, as if were an angel of death. Was this someone Danzo wanted me to be?

"By the orders of Sandaime Hokage, I will now execute you. Any last words?"

" _M-Monster_!" The cowering feudal lord screeched out. " _Devil! Spawn of Satan!"_

"I hear that all the times," Itachi drawled sardonically, without batting an eye. "Anything else? Very well then, since you already wasted your last words, prepare to die now, for _Konoha!_ "

And then he struck, with speed and precision of a cobra and the deed was done.

…..

We waited for almost fifteen minutes at the rendezvous site before unease started gnawing at my stomach. "There must be something wrong," I muttered. "Shouldn't they be here by now?"

Itachi's eyes suddenly narrowed. "It seems like Hyuuga's chakra is fading fast… Aburame, come with me. You stay here, Fukuro."

"No, I will go with you," I said quickly.

"No, you will stay here!" he clipped. "That's an order. I only need a medic."

"Do you think I can't handle it?" I snarled and locked my feral gaze with him. "Do you think I will sit back and wait while Ryusei is in trouble?"

"…Fine." I could tell that he was irritated that I had just blatantly defied his authority; I knew that there would be retributions for it later on but I didn't care for now when I could almost sense that there was something terribly, terribly wrong.

So, I ignored Itachi and leapt off the roof, following Ryusei's ominously fluctuating chakra and found him sprawled facedown, bleeding heavily through a huge gash in his abdomen. "Ryusei!" I gasped out hoarsely, grabbing his wrist, my fingers fumbling frantically for his threadlike pulse, some sign of life. Sumiko immediately straightened him up and began pouring her healing chakra into him, her hands glowing green. Ryusei's dull white eyes fluttered open. "Tell me who did this to you," I demanded.

"No, Miyu-ki," he choked out. "Let… Let the captain handle this. S-Stay away from him... P-please."

I gnashed my teeth together with frustration. "Tell me who did this or I will kill you myself if you aren't already dead!"

"Don't worry," someone sneered maliciously. "I will make you join him soon enough."

My face whipped in the direction of the voice and I found myself staring at a tall, imposing ninja wearing an absolutely malignant smile. Beside him, I could see a row of Konoha slaves. Some of them were heavily injured and were whimpering, looking up at me with their pitiful eyes, as if I was their only tenuous hope. So the bastard had tried to use them as hostages.

" _You will pay for this!"_ I growled, charging at him, swinging my katana vengefully.

He dodged my attack easily although he did look a bit taken aback as he took in my face with his narrowed eyes. "I know these eyes," he said quietly, almost rhetorically. "The look in your eyes... that defiance, ferocity, vindictiveness. I remember it all too well even though the color of those eyes was quite different from yours. Yes, yes, do you happen to be related to Nagisa Fukuro?"

I halted abruptly in the mid-attack, with kunais clutched in between my fingers, thoroughly startled at hearing her name from his vile tongue. "How did you know my _mothe_ r?" I bit out.

His eyes widened for a second and then a sick, almost triumphant grin curled across his lips. "How do I know?" he leered. "I killed your mother, along with your pathetic excuse of a father. That's how!"

His words hit me like hurricane and for a moment, I just stood there in daze, too shocked to even move or utter a word. And then strong, restraining hands wrapped themselves around my shoulders and I felt myself being shoved back hard against someone's chest. "That's enough!" Itachi growled in my ear from behind. "Your emotions are all going haywire. Step back this instant. I will finish him."

His words made me jolt out of my bewildered stupor. " _Teishi Jikan_!" I shouted, freeing myself from the confines of his relentless grip. "Do you think I will let you kill the murderer of my own parents?" I hissed at him, as wrath enveloped me like a riptide. I realized that my voice was shaking with unadulterated, raw fury. "If you so much as dared to interfere in this fight, I will never forgive you! This is my vendetta, so _stay the hell out of this_!"

I didn't wait for his response and stomped on ahead instead, stopping when I was only a yard away from the killer of my parents. "Your name," I barked at him through clenched teeth.

"That would be Okita Katsuro," he drawled, acting oblivious to the thick, curdling killing intent I could feel wafting off of myself. "And just so there is no confusion, I _am_ the murderer of your parents, indeed. So come at me, little Fukuro, without holding anything back. This blade of mine is dying for the taste of another _delectable_ Fukuro." He unsheathed the sword with his teeth and held it out in front of me, his eyes narrowing with some sick, twisted pleasure and his long hair billowing around his face like a cloak of a phantom.

I had no threats on the tip of my tongue for this man; no words could convey the sheer detestation and revulsion I felt for him. So I simply lunged at him and met his blade with a metallic clang of my own. Sparks flew with the impact. " _Lightning dagger_!" he shouted, as glowing, blue lightning materialized in his one hand. Holding my arm a prisoner with his sword, he directed the lightning dagger towards my chest and I realized that I had no time to evade it unless I used Teishi Jikan.

I was forced away momentarily by the momentum of my jutsu but soon regained my bearings and charged at his still form once again, but the timeless-dimension had already closed and he was able to meet my attack easily. I gritted my teeth with frustration. Usually, when I used Teishi Jikan with full chakra reserves, my limit was seven seconds but now that my chakra was so low from all the prior fights, I could hardly maintain it for more than three seconds.

"Oh, I am guessing that you actually do have something up interesting up your sleeve, unlike your pitiful parents," he leered, wiggling his eyebrows provocatively at me. "But you can't use this little technique of yours if I stay a safe distance away from you, isn't that right? Good news is, I do happen to have many long-range attacks I could use to kill you in countless, horrific ways, my sweet."

" _Damn_!"

I glowered at him, wishing that he would just incinerate under my gaze.

"Your _mother_ ," he purred nauseatingly, "did not die an easy death. I made sure of it. I made my men torture her, for fifteen days. I made her go through unimaginable pain but even then, she never opened that goddamn hole of hers to spill the secrets of Konoha. Your father came to rescue her and got killed alongside her, like the fools that they were. Your mother's eyes remained like that till the very end—unbroken, indomitable, just like yours are right now. They were such a pleasure to behold in a very masochistic way. I was both infuriated and intrigued. She was the one who turned me into a monster that I have become right now. Before her, I had never imagined that I could go to these lengths, but the war, that God-damned war— and your God-damned mother— they both made me question all that I had ever known about myself. Your mother made me do inconceivable things, just so I could break her spirit. But that never worked out—and now, I have turned into someone detestable, someone I even hate myself. Your mother should have never challenged me!"

" _Shut up_!" I roared as I sent a spray of shurikens at him, glinting like stars through the night but he charged them with his lightning based attack and sent them back at me. Instinctively, I joined my hands together in the Rat seal. " _Wind release; Air current wild dance_!"

A small whirlpool of dust surrounded us both and many of the shurikens fell to the ground innocuously although some of them did manage to hit my crossed arms but I was too enraged to feel the pain at that moment. As my jutsu was dying, some of the dust lodged into Okita Katsuro's eyes and he shut them only for an infinitesimal moment. A mistake.

This time, he didn't see me coming as I emerged from the cloud of dust and hurtled towards him. He only saw me in the instant when I was just a foot away from him and immediately raised his hands together in a seal, no doubt to escape my attack, but it was already too late for him. "Teishi Jikan!" I screamed with all I had and the time stopped.

I whipped out my katana, my unbridled fury and my thirst for revenge guiding my hand as I drove its blade into his now unobstructed sternum. Warm, red blood splashed over me as the time returned and my eyes widened with shock. What had I done?

I realized he wasn't dead yet. He coughed out some blood and looked at me blankly. "What," I growled at him, "were their last words?"

" _Answer me_!" I hissed when he refused to answer, twisting the blade in his chest.

"The-their last words were not about you, kid," he smiled, almost victoriously. "They… They said ' _for Konoha_ ' just before they died. Yeah, that's… that's what they said. Disappointed? Perhaps… perhaps, they didn't love you as much as their precious village."

Something told me that he was telling the truth. I couldn't stop the torrents of my tears that flowed down my cheeks, unrestrained; my hands were shaking uncontrollably. "To tell you the truth," he wheezed out. "I am glad… glad that you are the one who killed me… I almost feel… like I have been liberated from my sins. _Almost_. Even as I am already on my way to… to hell."

" _Shut up._ " I realized I was sobbing now.

"This is your… your first kill, right?" He smiled; a twisted, unhinged smile that I was to remember for the rest of my life. "I can tell. You have… have called upon a big curse on yourself. Just… just make sure you don't end up my way. Once you start killing, you… you never stop."

" _Shut up_!" I snarled once again and then pulled out my katana, letting him fall at my feet, dead.

Only then did the tremendous weight of what I had done, buried me like an avalanche. I staggered over my feet as the talons of darkness reached out for me, like a flock of thousand crows but then I felt someone's arms around my waist, the only thing that was holding me over the edge, for I was already about to fall into the endless ocean of abyss.

" _Miyuki_."

And I fell into darkness, listening to the sound of my own name. Like a prayer.

…..

Constellations of little fireflies danced before my eyes and for a while, I just stared at them until they slowly chased away all the darkness. I blinked at the sudden brightness, my eyelashes fluttering against something. A patch of skin. Of someone's neck. Itachi.

"You are awake," he said and I could feel his voice reverberate soothingly against my chest. I lifted my head from his shoulder to realize that he was carrying me against his back with his hands around my knees. Mortified, I wanted to protest, to ask him to put me back down on the ground but for now, I felt too exhausted to even manage that. "Ryusei?" I asked, my drooping eyes suddenly snapping open as the image of him bleeding to his death flashed before my eyes.

"He lives," he confirmed. "Aburame healed most of his injuries and Yamanaka is carrying him right now."

I closed my eyes, burying my face into his rain-scented hair and reveling in the peace of the moment, his gentle, lulling movements as he walked lithely over the trail behind the long queue of the freed slaves. "Mission?" I mouthed.

"A success."

"Why didn't you stop me?" It was an accusation. "You could have knocked me out with your genjutsu but you didn't. You wanted me to kill him, didn't you? Why?"

He didn't answer for a long time. "Because I could sense it," he said at last. "That man wanted to die by your hands. That was the only way for him to atone for his sins."

I tightened my hold around his neck, swallowing back my tears. "So you don't care what I have become now, a monster of some sort? I gave in to _revenge._.. I never thought I could stoop this low and yet..."

" _Revenge_... is not always necessarily a bad thing," Itachi said. "Like he said, you liberated him. You freed him. You didn't take away an innocent life. He died without regrets. You gave him that chance... And besides…"

"And besides?" I prodded him.

"Sometimes, to defeat a monster, you have to become a monster yourself."

"Then what is the difference between him and me?" I asked sadly, closing my eyes.

"At this moment," he said after a while, "there are many people out there in the world who see me the same way you saw this man. I have killed too many to count, Fukuro."

"But you are nothing like him!" I contradicted heatedly. "You would never kill anyone for pleasure."

He didn't say anything.

"Would _you?_ " I asked, my voice shrill.

"…Didn't you feel it?" he whispered slowly, almost seductively. "The _power_ you feel when you kill someone?"

Inadvertently, I shuddered. "Uchiha, what are you—"

"Don't deny it," he said in his dark, low timbre voice; his words held this peculiar power in them and for some unfathomable reasons, they left me breathless. I felt numb down to my fingers. Was it how you felt after you killed someone?

"You tell yourself that it was your duty," he continued, "that you did it to protect the ones you hold precious, but nothing changes the fact that you took a human life. It is never simple, is it?"

"So are we all monsters then?" I muttered bitterly.

"We are all shinobis," he corrected.

We were all shinobis and hence, our choices are never simple.

I didn't know why it made me want to cry and yet, it made my heart feel lighter at the same time. "Sorry," I murmured. "For disobeying your orders earlier."

"You better be," he growled lowly in the back of his throat and again, the vibrations of his voice sent pleasant jolts against my body. "Next time, you will not disobey me."

"Or what?" I challenged.

"…Or I will make you train overtime."

"Well, you can't."

"Oh, I can." He smirked. "I am your captain."

I smiled as well.

"Aye, aye, captain!" I said sarcastically and then rested my forehead against his shoulder, marveling at the way his strong body felt against mine, at the way he made me feel so secure. I knew I was putting my burden on him, once again, even though I had already promised myself not to rely on him anymore. I knew that he was already carrying a tremendous weight on his shoulders and I didn't want to add mine on it as well to make it even harder for him.

 _This will be the last time_ , I vowed. _Next time around, I will be the one sharing his burdens._

"Thank you," I whispered softly. "…Itachi."

* * *

 **A/N:** Phew, I just got rid of the first round of my big, bad Chunin—oh wait, _college_ exams (how I wish they were _Chunin_ exams though! :-)) and finally got to write this chapter.

Yes, I do know that according to the calculations, Itachi was probably around 13 years old at the time of massacre, but let's be a bit logical here. Thirteen is way too young, even for Itachi. To anyone who didn't know any better, it would seem like Itachi killed his entire clan in a fit of angst-driven, teenage rebellion or something (of course, we know that's not the truth) So, I am postponing it for a bit... It will also allow Itachi and Miyuki to have more time together. I hope Kishimoto-sensei doesn't mind… Oh well, he messes up the timelines in his own manga all the times anyway… so it's fine, I suppose.

Thank you for reading and staying with me up till now! A review would be nice.

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 17**

" _I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary."_

 _-Margaret Atwood_

"Your parents really were true war heroes," Mikoto said, smiling wistfully as she did so. "You can see their names on the village's monument, right? I go there sometimes when I miss her... Your mother, that is. Is the tea to your liking, Miyuki-chan? Your mother always liked it sweet."

We were both sitting on the wooden porch of the Uchiha manor, with an elaborate view of an intricately managed Bonsai garden on one side. I took a dainty sip of my chrysanthemum tea, savoring its mild, soothing taste. "Yes, it is just the way I prefer it, thank you," I said politely. "Can I ask you a question, Mikoto-san?"

"Go ahead."

"Where were you during the third shinobi war? Did you stay at home or did you...?"

"I did take part in it, initially..." Faraway look entered her eyes. "The village could use all the help it could get. Those were the hard times and I was a jounin, after all... But then, I realized that this way, I was ignoring my duties as an Uchiha matriarch and as a mother. Itachi was really young at that time, even though he was already very strong. But still, it was my duty to protect him and be there for him. Your mother however was very powerful and a free spirited person who refused to be tied down to anything. She was there on the frontline with your father. Both of them fought valiantly for Konoha and died a glorious death."

"So, Konoha really did come first for my parents," I concluded, and even to my ears, my voice sounded so sad and forlorn.

"Of course not," she said. "Your parents loved you very dearly. I did ask your mother about it many times... why she didn't stay with you during the war. We used to argue about this a lot. You were so young, after all and you obviously needed her... But your mother had her own way of thinking. She just said that she was going to the war for your future, Miyuki-chan, so that Konoha could be a better and a secure place for the next generation to come. Do not ever doubt your parent's love for you, Miyuki-chan."

I fell into a contemplative silence. "I know that Konoha is very important to us and all... I know that it is a great honor for a shinobi to die for his village but sometimes, I do wish that one of them had stayed with me, that one of them had survived, that one of them had _lived_... just for _me_ and not the village. But I guess, I am just being selfish."

"No, you are not being selfish, Miyuki-chan." Mikoto took a sip of her chrysanthemum tea, her willowy fingers gripping the porcelain cup tightly. Her obsidian eyes, so much like Itachi's, suddenly shimmered with uncharacteristic ferocity and in that moment, I appreciated that she was, no doubt, a true Uchiha, through and through. "When I think about it, I feel like I could do _anything_ for Itachi or Sasuke, for my family... _Family_ is much more important than anything else. Blood is always thicker than water."

As I looked at her, I wondered what I was doing, fraternizing with someone from Uchiha clan, my sworn enemies, but then again, she had been really close to my mother once and was the only one who could actually tell me a little about her, since my grandmother wasn't someone who liked reminiscing about the 'good old days' with me. And also, like Itachi, all the Uchihas seemed to have this alluring aura around them which was hard to ignore and resist.

"It is a really good thing you decided to visit me, Miyuki-chan. I had wanted to meet you for a long time, in fact. I had wanted to ask you about… _Itachi_ for some time now."

My eyes narrowed as I placed down the tea-cup on the table, wondering if it would sound awfully rude to take my leave now. "Your son?" I asked, sounding genuinely perplexed.

"That boy," she sighed with exasperation. "He has been giving me lot of trouble lately. He seems to have gotten so aloof and brooding, always meditating, acting all secretive and taking walks all alone. I keep telling him that it isn't good to think so much… mostly it is better if you just accept the things the way they are and yet, thinking is all he ever does. Sometimes, I wonder…" she shook her head. "Do you know anything about this? He is your captain, isn't he?"

So, it wasn't just my imaginations, after all. "It is probably because he is a prodigy," I said carefully. "And that automatically makes him take things differently from others. I am sorry, Mikoto-san. Even though, your son and I are on the same team, we are not that close so I can't tell you anything about it."

She sighed sadly. "You two used to be such good friends."

I didn't say anything.

"So he has grown distant from you too. Well, I just hope that he knows how much he matters to us—his father, Sasuke and me."

My hands over my knees balled into fists. "Do you… do you care about his mental wellbeing more than his strength?" I found myself asking, almost accusingly. "Perhaps, it is because your clan demands too much from him."

"Of course I care about his mental wellbeing more," Mikoto said delicately, almost as if she wanted to convince herself of this fact more than she wanted to convince me. "But he has his duties as an Uchiha heir which I can't shield him from. He has always been very strong and capable… I am really proud of him but sometimes, I do wish that he was just an ordinary child who could share things with me, look up to me and expect me to protect him from all his fears. But he was never that kid… Well, sometimes, I do want to coddle him. I gave birth to him, after all, but even so… I feel like I don't understand what goes in the head of that boy at all."

…

I was in the process of making my way out of the Uchiha compound when a familiar voice stopped me. "Going without saying a word to your captain?" Itachi drawled from where he was sitting over a roof, apparently mediating. "That is pretty impolite."

"I didn't know you were home," I said honestly. I had, of course, carefully made sure that Itachi and his father were nowhere to be seen when I visited his mother but apparently, Itachi hadn't been on some mission as I had initially thought. "And besides, I came to talk to your mother, not you."

"Is that supposed to make me jealous?" he said dryly. "So what have you two been up to, backbiting about me?"

"Of course not!" I wondered why I felt so contrite, probably because I knew that he didn't enjoy people nosing around in his affairs. "It might come as a surprise for you, oh the great, mighty heir to the Uchiha clan but the world doesn't just revolve around you."

His eyes narrowed, almost as if he was annoyed and then he proceeded to appraise intently me from where he was sitting on the roof. "Your mother then," he concluded. "You came to talk to her about your mother." I was already fidgeting nervously at his spot on observation when he patted the space next to him. "Come on," he said. "The view from up here is not something you should miss."

He was right. I could see so many things from up there, the whole valley of Konoha, the distinctive architecture of the buildings; the people walking on the roads looked like small lady-birds over the ribbons. A channel emerging from the Naka River was shimmering like molten silver in the sunlight as it meandered down the slopes. The mountains flanked the village on two sides, their silhouettes standing majestically to purple heights, trimmed over by the conifer trees and far away, I could make out the Hokage Mountain with the chiseled faces of all the past Hokages watching over the village. The village, I realized, my parents gave their lives for. But what exactly did this village mean to me?

"Are you alright now?" he asked, making me snap out of my reverie.

I immediately knew what he was talking about. "Is that how you feel whenever you kill?" I whispered. "The nightmares… the emptiness. Is that how you feel each time?"

He shrugged. "Not really."

"What makes it easier?"

"…When you think that you did it for the village, then it makes it easier."

"But is Konoha worth it?"

He didn't answer and looked down at the valley of Konoha instead, his eyes indecipherable.

"I didn't do it only for Konoha though." I smiled bitterly. "Konoha might have just been an excuse for me to send the killer of my parents to hell… I am such a selfish person, huh?"

There was something steely, almost implacable in those black, black eyes then and I could tell that he agreed with me. I didn't know what it was; whether it was his callousness or his kindness, or both. He was full of contradictory paradoxes. "If you are looking for some reassurance or a justification to your crime, then I am not the right person," he said, at length. "I know that your… _selfishness_ had lot to with it but as long as it was in the best interest of the village, I don't really care."

I didn't deny it. Perhaps I really had been looking for a way to justify the murder I had committed. I had also known that Itachi wasn't someone who would sugarcoat the reality. I was actually glad that he didn't because that meant that he was aware of my imperfections and had accepted me for what I was, nevertheless.

"Why do you like heights so much?" I asked him quietly, changing the subject. Admittedly, I used to have an irrational fear of heights which I had vanquished a long time ago, but the heights still had tendency to make me apprehensive sometimes. Itachi however had always been very fond of high places.

"Probably because everything looks so small up here," he said, shrugging.

"Is that why?" I asked incredulously. "Because you like to feel _great_ yourself?"

He looked at me as if I had lost my mind. "It is because it helps me think. When I look at the village from up here, I realize how… _petty_ and insignificant some things are, the things that some people— my clan—would give their lives for. It is almost pitiful, that they care so much about these trivial things which hold no value whatsoever."

"What _things_?" I asked cautiously.

He smiled. "You do not need to know."

Something about his dismissive tone irritated me. "Why do you always treat people as if they are below you?" I blurted out. "Is there no limit to your contempt for people?"

" _Contempt,_ " he murmured, "is not the right word."

"Well, why should you open up to me anyway?" I huffed, ignoring his cryptic remark. "You even keep your mother at arm's length."

He smirked. "So I was right; you two were having a discussion about me, after all."

"Your mother is just worried about you!" I interjected.

"My mother," he drawled, "is too blinded by her _love_ for her family to see anything else. This kind of love limits you until you can no longer see the bigger picture. Perhaps civilians can afford this kind of love, but not us shinobis."

"Of all the pigheaded, nonsensical things—" I broke off incoherently. "Have you gone _insane_? Do you think that the love for your mother would _limit_ you? Is that why you are growing so distant, the reason why you are striving to cut ties with your family?"

"I never said that," he said sedately. "My family and my clan—both are very important to me but it is just that few things are even more important."

"Well, your priorities are all twisted!" I contradicted. "Perhaps it is high time you reevaluated them!"

"You don't understand," he said. I realized that his coal-black irises, hidden under his bangs had suddenly turned extremely cold and I could see the glint of icicles in them. "My relation with my family has nothing to do with you."

I had half mind to sock him in the nose so that he would go careening down the valley. But I resisted the temptation and reminded myself that I needed patience to deal with him. But geez, sometimes he acted so unbelievably obnoxious.

"Do you know why I became a ninja?" I asked him gently. "Not because I just wanted to protect Konoha; that wasn't the major part of it. I became a shinobi because my parents were shinobis… After they died, I wanted to feel closer to them and that was the only way for me to understand them more. I would give anything to just… just talk to them again, and _you_!" I gritted my teeth with vehemence, throwing caution to the wind as the anger got the best of me yet again. "You have _everything_ I had ever wanted, _a_ family _,_ a mother who cares about you and who says ' _Okaeri'_ to you when you get home. And still, you act like such an ungrateful brat! Honestly, all you needed was a good spanking—no, even spanking is too good for you!"

I had expected him to be furious with my outburst, to retort back scathingly but to my intense surprise, he actually _chuckled_. It was so reminiscent of the old Itachi who used to be my best friend that for a while, I could just gawk at him dumbly, enamored by his beautiful countenance in the sunlight, his captivating eyes full of rich amusement.

"That wasn't meant to be funny!" I huffed, both annoyed and relieved.

"Good to know that your violent streak is still there," he said sarcastically. "You think all my problems would have been solved if my clan-members had _spanked_ me more?"

"Of course!"

"Well, I was already too strong at six years of age for them to get away with even _touching_ me."

"Such cockiness," I snorted and then my shoulders slumped. "Well, I guess I can't really get through that thick head of yours, huh?"

He frowned now, all the sparks of humor abruptly disappearing from his onyx eyes. I realized that he had moved so subtly that I hadn't even noticed it, but suddenly, his handsome face was just few inches away from mine, his searching eyes boring into me with some kind of curiosity. My heart skipped a beat and something seemed to flutter in my stomach.

"On the contrary," he whispered, "you do make me doubt myself sometimes. Tell me, do I make you doubt yourself as well?"

I wondered at the power his enigmatic gaze seemed to hold on me. Why couldn't I breathe? Why couldn't I move even a muscle? Was it some kind of shadow possession jutsu like that of Shikaku-sensei? Why was I so conscious of his powerful body so close to mine?

"All the times," I found myself admitting.

He leaned back now, allowing me the possession of my personal space much to my relief, but I didn't miss that lazy, complacent smirk playing at his lips almost as if he was pleased by my reaction. "Good," he said. "So I am not the only one then. But regardless, I still believe that I am doing the right thing."

"How come are you always so calm?" I said sourly, feeling a bit embarrassed at my lapse in control. "It's like… like nothing can touch you. Even when we were children."

For a long time he sat there, staring at the haze surrounding the valley of Konoha. "When I was four," he said at last. "I briefly visited the frontlines. The shinobi war, that is."

My eye widened. "But you must have been so little!" I protested.

"There were bodies everywhere," he was saying softly, as if I wasn't even there. "You couldn't walk an inch without stepping over one. It was hell… There was famine, plaque outbreaks, misery all around. Those who were injured were begging others to kill them, to release them from their sufferings… But there was no mercy."

For a long time I sat there, gaping at him, aghast, my throat clogged and my chest tight. The peaceful, sun-kissed world in front of me was slowly blurring into a disjointed miasma and within the whirlpool of these dark sentiments, I felt something touch my cheek soothingly.

"Forgive me," he said kindly, tracing my cheekbone with his knuckles. "I made you recall bad things... I shouldn't have."

"It's alright." I shook his hand off and blinked away my tears, the telltale signs of weakness and forced myself to compose my expressions. After all, I had promised myself not to burden him with my weaknesses and insecurities anymore. "I'm… I am quite alright now. Don't worry."

I didn't think he was convinced but he retracted his hand and waited patiently for me to gather myself together. "Now you see why I find such things a bit trivial?" he asked, a bit hopefully.

"Actually," I said, "I do _not_ see it. If you have witnessed all that, shouldn't that make you want to be closer to the people around you?"

He merely sighed wearily. "I would appreciate it if you didn't nag me so much. As it happens, I get enough of all the nagging I can take from my clan-members anyway."

I was about to retort but just then Sasuke made an appearance; I realized that he was already trying to copy his brother's way of walking. "Nee-san!" he called with his cupped mouth, looking up at us. "Come down and help me with shuriken jutsu!"

I wondered why he didn't notice me; was it because Itachi was so bright that everything around him was rendered utterly inconspicuous in comparison? I resisted an urge to snort. "Kaa-san says that you are always meditating and it is not good for…" His voice trailed off when he belatedly realized that I was there in the picture as well. "I know you! You are the girl from next door who is always fighting with her grandmother!"

So this was the kind of reputation I had. "Well…"

"She saved your life when you were a kid, Sasuke," Itachi told him sternly.

"But she is not all that taller from me!" Sasuke protested. "And she looks weak!"

My eyes narrowed. My height—or lack of— had always been a very sensitive subject for me. Itachi seemed to know that as well for he said 'Sasuke' in this chiding tone of voice, flashing me a rueful glance for his younger brother's embarrassing lack of manners. I couldn't believe both brothers had turned into such brats; Mikoto had clearly spoilt them too much. "Look, kid," I scowled at Sasuke. "That tongue of yours is going to give you lot of trouble in the future, I am warning you. Honestly, you were way more adorable back then when you were just a baby and your vocalization abilities hadn't developed."

"How could you talk to an Uchiha like that?" Sasuke demanded, looking mortally offended.

I knew I was being really immature, picking fights with kids but I had never been a very rational person to start with. "Well, the great, mighty Uchiha, you literally peed your pants when—"

"I did _not_!" He looked thunderstruck now. "Nee-san, why don't you just kick her off our property?"

"You should actually learn to be more gracious, kid, or you are going to turn into another ungrateful Uchiha brat, just like your brother."

His eyes immediately lit up like candles as if I had just given him a big compliment. "Do you think I can be just like my brother when I grow up?" he asked eagerly.

So apparently, it was the matter of great pride for him. I almost scoffed.

"Sasuke," Itachi said reproachfully at last. "Like I said, she saved your life—don't make her regret it."

This time, Sasuke looked down at the ground, genuinely abashed. "Sorry," he muttered, pouting and not looking at me. "Well, Nee-san, can't you help me train now? You are just wasting your time anyway…"

So apparently talking to me was just a waste of time for the great Uchihas. I sighed, almost with exasperation and then leapt down, landing gracefully next to Sasuke, who blinked up at me a bit bemusedly, probably having just realized that I was a bit taller than he had assumed. "I will leave you to train with your Nee-san," I told him and then very deliberately, I reached forward to ruffle up the spiky mess of his raven hair, a shade lighter than his brother's.

"Hey!" he protested, angling his head away from me with his hands in his hair.

I laughed at the baffled and almost adorably mutinous expressions on his face. "See you."

…

I didn't see much of Itachi after that. He was always busy on the solo missions or the classified clan meetings, which was perfectly fine with me because I needed to clear my head anyway and think where our relation stood. Were we even friends or did he still consider me another teammate?

Also, the nightmares were inevitable occurring in the night. The killer of my parents had been right; once you start killing, you never stop. Because I had to have killed him thousand times over in my dreams and each time, I felt even hollower than the last time. Once when I woke up screaming, I found grandmother sitting next to my futon, her hand over my forehead and sadness etched deeply into her features. "I warned you," she said. "I asked you not to join ANBU. Did you listen?"

"I killed him," I said in a dead, shaky voice, still feeling delirious. "The person who killed Kaa-san and Oto-san. I killed him, Obaa-san. I killed him… killed him... killed…"

" _What?_ "

And then suddenly her thin, wiry arms were around me and my head was cradled in the crook of her ancient neck in an uncharacteristically comforting gesture. "Your parents," she said fiercely, "would have never approved of your actions. They would have never wanted you to avenge them."

"I know." I realized I was breaking the Shinobi rule no 25 and crying without restrain but for once, she didn't seem to mind.

"Your father asked me to protect you."

"I know."

"But I am glad that you killed them, Miyuki."

" _What?_ " I lifted my head from her bony shoulder to look into her green eyes, ferocious yet steadfast as ever against any kind of pain.

"Whole my life I couldn't sleep properly, knowing that the person who killed my son and his wife was free to roam on the same earth I lived in. How could I?" Her eyes were shivering with unshed tears. "How could any mother stand to see the mutilated corpse of her own son and not want revenge? If I was stronger and if I had a chance, I would have done this deed a long time ago. So don't feel the guilt, Miyuki. You only got rid of one of the monsters that exist in this world even when they obviously deserve to die."

Although the nightmares didn't go away, I felt considerably lighter after that; perhaps, I really had been looking for some kind of reassurance just as Itachi had said, which was pathetic. I was so full of imperfections that it disgusted me sometimes and that was probably the reason why it took me so long to visit my parents grave after that incident. I did however take many long walks in woods over the mountains with solitude and silence as company.

Once I was taking such walk when I discovered a new location. The music of gushing waters was loud in my ears as the Naka River dropped down in a splendid waterfall over the ravine, overlooking the sharp cliff and for a while, I could only stare at the endlessly cascading waters, mesmerized.

Then I realized that I could see someone lying down under the nearby cypress tree.

Itachi.

At first glance he looked like he was just having a nap with his head over his arm, but then I saw blood.

I sprung in his direction, terrified of the deathly pallor over his face, his closed eyes and the blood that was slowly pooling out from his arm.

" _Itachi!_ " I screeched out in panic as a wave of fear and dread washed over me. I frantically reached for his wrist, trying to feel for the pulse but just then, I felt myself being flipped over until I was lying on my back with my hands pinned at my sides. I met his terrifying crimson eyes, just few inches away as he hovered over me, his aura dark and foreboding and his hands tight around my wrists. But for a while I was so relieved to see him alive that I didn't even find our position intimidating as I would have under normal circumstances.

"It's just me!" I choked out. "And I mean no harm. Seriously… It's okay. Stop freaking out."

His hold around my wrists slackened but he didn't release me yet. He continued to stare at me instead with his intense, almost possessed eyes until I started feeling a bit uncomfortable and apprehensive under his extended, unnerving scrutiny. "You are bleeding," I said a bit tremulously. "What is wrong? Were you training? Anyhow, you need to go to hospital right now or you will bleed to death. I am not your enemy as you can see, so… so you can release me now."

"Miyuki." His voice was raw and hoarse, so unlike his usual smooth, controlled tone; there was a strange vulnerability in its inflection and almost unhinged sort of brokenness and urgency in his eyes which scared me more than anything else. He leaned forward until the ends of his midnight hair were brushing against my cheeks.

I swallowed. "What… what is wrong?" I asked, holding my breath.

Fearfully.

"You were right," he whispered so softly that I wouldn't have heard it if it wasn't for our proximity. "My father was the one. He killed your uncle."

…..

 **A/N:** Ok, I know this is a cliffhanger. X) I updated sooner than usual… For once, I was a little less busy and I love writing in the winters. I realized writing Itachi is a bit hard, probably because he is so multi-layered and the way Kishimoto made him, romance definitely doesn't seem like it would be the first thing on his mind, (but we love him anyway!) so, I need to be a bit careful with him... Well, this story is of 'romance' genre, after all. So we will get there soon!

Thank you all for your kind reviews! They are like the highlights of my day!

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER 18**

" _If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life, sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."  
_

― _Henry Wadsworth Longfellow_

* * *

" _Teishi Jikan_!"

And just like that, our positions were reversed. I realized I was sitting on Itachi's hip with my hands wrapped around his throat, his carotid pulse tapping insistently against my palms. I knew he could have easily broken me into half or trapped me in an eternal genjutsu if he had wanted to but he didn't do anything as he lay on the bed of turf and continued to stare at me with those fearless, red eyes of his, even as I had my hands over all his pressure points now.

" _Why?_ " I asked with tears dripping down from my face. "Why did your father kill my Uncle? Why?"

"I cannot tell you that," he said. "I do not want to give my father a reason to kill you as well."

I deliberately tightened my fingers around his neck. Did he believe that I didn't have it in me to kill him? _Fool!_ "Tell me, dammit!" I howled at him. "Or I will kill you right now! I really will… _Tell me!_ I deserve to know why my Uncle died! He was like a second father to me!"

Again, he didn't answer my question. "So, will you try to kill my father now as well?" he asked instead, without batting an eye, not at all perturbed that I was holding his life in my palms.

My eyes widened.

His father.

The murderer of my Uncle was Itachi's father. Was the thirst for revenge already swallowing me whole? Was I already turning into a monster, to even bring myself to imagine that I could harm the person who was so close to Itachi? Suddenly my hands started quavering and my grip on his throat loosened entirely as more tears trickled down my cheeks and dripped over Itachi's face like droplets of rain.

"No!" I whispered.

He frowned. "No?"

"Because he is your father!" I said. "I would never… I could never kill your father. I won't ever make you go through the same pain I did. I won't take your father away from you no matter how much I hate him!"

 _Because I care about you more than I hate him_.

I could tell that he had heard my unspoken words for the glowing red of his eyes slowly dissolved into obsidian. "Miyuki…" he whispered. "I am glad you made this decision. Because if you had come after my father, I would have stopped you, no matter what, even if it meant hurting you."

I squeezed my eyes shut because I had already known that. "Look," I said. "I will forget everything—this endless cycle of revenge, all the mistakes that brought us here... So can't we just go back to the way we used to be when we were children? Can't you just be Itachi and not Uchiha? Can't I just be Miyuki and not Fukuro? Can't we just forget everything?"

 _Because I want to be happy more than I want to be sad._

"No."

His clipped one word smacked me hard and I opened my eyes to look at him incredulously, suddenly feeling intensely betrayed by his rejection. Here I was, swallowing all my pride and going against all my values, just for him and he had an audacity to even—

"We cannot forget all that happened," he said quietly. "Those things are part of us. We are not what we used to be back then and Uchiha is who I am. But if you can accept me the way I am, even with my last name, then the things could be just like the way they used to be."

His hand lifted, almost lazily, to brush away the tears over my cheeks, almost as if he was apologizing. I knew he wasn't being fair at all, but I didn't want to lose him. Not again. It was almost pathetic how much control he had over me. But then again, I wasn't being fair to him either.

"If I accept you for what you are— the son of the killer of my Uncle— will you promise me then that things could be better then?"

"…Yes."

I realized that his eyes were sincere now and a small, reassuring smile was blooming across his lips. For a while I hung on to it, like a thirsty traveler would hang on to a mirage in the desert, as if it was the only thing that could save me, my only salvation.

Belatedly I realized that I was still straddling him and our positions could look quite inappropriate to some onlooker. I immediately blushed as red as his sharingan and unceremoniously lifted myself off of him, cringing with embarrassment at my earlier emphatic display of sentiments. Slowly, he lifted himself into the sitting position as well, his hand clutching his wounded arm. "You are bleeding," I said, nudging his hand away and pushing back his black sleeve to reveal the wound. Green light enveloped my hand as I began pouring the healing chakra into the gash.

"You know how to heal?" he asked quizzically.

"Just the basics," I affirmed. "I am Obaa-san's granddaughter, after all. She had tried to turn me into a Medic-nin like her at one point, although I didn't listen to her. You would still have to go to the hospital to get it checked after I am done with it because what I am doing is only temporary, okay?"

He nodded. I realized that his penetrating eyes never left mine, much to my increasing awkwardness. "How did you get this wound though?" I queried.

"I was training."

 _Training?_ It looked more like he had been trying to kill himself… "Be careful next time," I said as I untied my headband from my forehead and wrapped it around his bicep instead, using it to secure the half-healed wound since I didn't have any bandages with me. "You can return my headband later on." I tied the knot, biting my bottom lip contemplatively. "Say, weren't you worried at all that I could kill you? How could you allow yourself to be so defenseless in front of me? Weren't you scared?"

 _Because I am scared of myself_.

"Easy," he said, grinning almost smugly as he did so. "Because I could sense your anger, but no killing intent. You don't have it in you to kill me."

My eye twitched. "This overconfidence is going to be the death of you someday, you know that!"

"Not overconfidence," he said lightly. "On the contrary, I feel that I know you well. I am quite good at reading people, you see."

I opened my mouth to retort but then realized that he was absolutely right. Without saying a word, I stood up and walked away from him, balling my fists tightly at my sides, feeling as if I would buckle under the weight of the decision I had made. All because…

Because I no longer wanted to be lonely.

… _._

Whole my life, I had always vacillated between hating Uchihas based on what my grandmother had told me and having grudging admiration for them after what I had experienced by acquainting myself with them. But after the confirmation of the fact that they had, indeed, killed my Uncle, this halfhearted hatred of mine had turned into something much more solid, more palpable. But even after all this, I grudgingly found myself liking Itachi even more, probably because he refused to lie to me and had been nothing but honest, even to the point of cruelty.

Why, oh why did he have to be an Uchiha? I could pretend that he wasn't one but he had been the one who had stressed upon the fact that I should never forget who he was. But could I really accept him, even if his father had killed my Uncle, and his predecessors before had tormented my whole clan heinously and driven them almost to the brink of extinction? Even if Itachi was not linked to all these things directly, he was an Uchiha heir first and foremost and his priority would always be upholding Uchiha pride, even if it meant casting me aside like a thrash.

So of course, I ended up avoiding Itachi, not that he made it any easier for me in the start. He would always show up wherever I was unexpectedly and would look at me with those expectant eyes. But since he was smart, he obviously figured out my intentions after two times I blatantly ignored him and thankfully, didn't try to pursue me about it. But ANBU training sessions and meetings weren't something I could just ignore. So I showed up as late as possible and tried to stay inconspicuous during the whole meeting while other discussed the designs of the battle strategies, formations and combo stealth attacks.

"What do you think of this strategy?" I realized Itachi was actually speaking to me and I almost jumped, startled.

"What is wrong with you nowadays?" Isamu asked me rather suspiciously, frowning. "You barely talk anymore… You are not developing an Asperger's syndrome, are you?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. Dealing with a hypochondriac was not easy at all. From the past two months, I had been diagnosed with several diseases that included rickets, Parkinsonism and few others like akinesia and fibromyalgia which I had no idea about except that they sounded potentially lethal. I was about to snap at him but I had more pressing matters to attend to. "Yes, captain?" I turned to Itachi and said, knowing that deliberately ignoring him after he had addressed me so openly would not be appreciated.

"I asked what you think of this strategy," he said, patient as ever. "Do you wish to give a suggestion for improvement?"

"No," I said bluntly. "How could I ever hope to improve something that your brilliant mind has procured?"

He appraised me coolly, not reacting to my sarcasm and then turned to others. "Well, if there are no suggestions, then you all are dismissed. You stay back, Miyuki."

Everybody's mouths dropped open, including mine at the nonchalant way he spoke my first name when he had always called me by my last name in front of others. I glared at him, trying to ignore the curious and knowing glances I was getting from my other team-members. I thought I saw a hint of smirk on Isamu's face before they all disappeared, leaving me alone with Itachi.

"Why did you do that?" I seethed.

"Do what?" he asked innocently as he stood there leaning casually against the tree.

"Don't play dumb—you called me by my first name," I snapped. "Now others are going to get the wrong idea and..."

"But you were the one who asked me to."

"I did not!" I said heatedly. "I never—"

He suddenly straightened up from the tree and took a step towards me. "You were the one who asked me to see you as Miyuki and not a Fukuro."

"Don't manipulate my words. I didn't mean that you should start calling me by my name in public. I don't remember giving you the permission." For some reasons, I was extremely aware of his soft footfalls over the leaves as he neared me, one patient step after another with confidence and grace of a predator that had already trapped his prey.

"Why?" he said at last, when he was just three feet away from me. "Is it because 'Miyuki' sounds more, shall we say, _intimate_?"

The innuendo wasn't lost on me and I wondered, with some disbelief, if he was actually _flirting_ with me; I found myself gaping at him, speechless and dumbfounded, but I knew that I would only make it worse for myself if I reacted more than that, so I forced myself to hold my ground, modulating my expressions into semblance of calm. "What do you want, Uchiha? Stop wasting my time and spit it out."

He smirked. "Aren't you missing something?"

"What?"

"Your headband?" he stated as if it was obvious. "You are a ninja, aren't you? You must wear your forehead protector even during the training sessions."

"Oh." I found myself touching my bare forehead. Crap, I had literally forgotten all about it.

"Here." He handed me the headband and I was about to put it on when I realized something.

"This is not my headband," I said slowly, holding it out to him. "See, mine have my initials embroidered on its cloth by Obaa-san. Our headbands might have gotten swapped by mistake... Here, I think you must be wearing mine."

He looked at me as if I was being an idiot, making a mountain out of molehill. "I _know_ I am wearing yours."

"But…but…"

"Does it make any difference?" he said smoothly. "I thought you wouldn't mind—we both are Konoha shinobis, are we not?"

"Yes, but—"

"I thought you wouldn't like wearing your headband after I have used it as a bandage."

He was impossible to argue with. "Fine," I muttered, wrapping my fingers around its metal surface, the engraved Konoha's symbol digging into my skin. Then I realized he was probably expecting me to wear it right there and then. Feeling exceedingly foolish under his scrutiny, I quickly tied the damn headband under my ponytail the way I always wore it with my bangs framing my face.

"So, tell me something." I recognized that devastatingly teasing smirk creeping over his face and braced myself with bated breath. "Is wearing my headband more _intimate?_ "

This time I was sure that he really was flirting with me and my incredulity soon gave way to anger. "Shut up, Uchiha!" I growled, blushing scarlet with indignation. "Or I will shred your headband to pieces and feed it to wolves! And stop with your pathetic attempt at flirting; you are not your cousin Shisui Uchiha of the world!"

He frowned. "That wasn't _flirting_. That was… testing waters."

I looked at him, nonplussed. "What?"

"Should I be blunt then?" He shoved his hands in his pockets, his eyes turning grave. "Why are you avoiding me after you so ardently declared that you wanted the things go back to the way they were?"

I flushed at the reminder; part of the reason why I was avoiding him was because I was hell embarrassed of my earlier display of sentimentality. "Because you asked me not to forget that you were an Uchiha."

"Is that why you still call me _Uchiha_?" he asked.

I gave a stiff nod.

"Then I would prefer it if you started calling me Itachi." I almost cringed away from his smoldering, bold eyes that held me a prisoner. "Or is calling me by my name sounds too…"

" _Don't say it_!" I snarled.

"…Intimate?" he finished silkily, smirking with triumph yet again.

My mouth had gotten quite dry now and I knew I was blushing; if only Hana knew that he was even better at it than Shisui was. Or maybe I was affected this much only because it was Itachi. "Stop this… _testing waters_ or whatever it is. I don't like it."

"Spar with me then."

For a second I thought he was kidding but then I realized that his bland look was back which probably meant that he was dead serious.

"But—"

"Or are you afraid you will lose?" That teasing lilt in his tone was back and this time I met his challenge with a confident, cheeky smile of my own. But boy, he really did know how to push my buttons.

"You wish," I said. "Fine then… If I win, you will be eating hundred dangos as a punishment."

"And if I win…" A slow, impish grin dawned over his face, making his eyes gleam enigmatically and I knew I wouldn't like whatever it was he was about to suggest. "We will start calling each other by our first names. Deal?"

What was I getting myself into?

….

Itachi led me to the same secluded waterfall ravine where waters gurgled and sang in the background, adding to the atmosphere. I could see that this place had been used for training many times before because the foliage of some trees had either been singed or torn down and there were burn marks on the grass. "Is this where you train?" I asked curiously, my fingers tracing the kunai marks engraved in the tree barks.

"Yeah, Shisui and me," he said. "We come here often."

Wasting no time, I took up the fighting stance in front of him, my one hand on ninja gear.

"I won't use my sharingan," he said matter-of-factly.

My eyes narrowed. "Don't insult me. If you didn't use your kekkei genkai then I won't use mine either. That would make things fairer, won't it?"

"…Fine."

His onyx eyes melted almost languidly into crimson and I suppressed an unconscious shiver. I forced myself to stare into his unruffled hawk-like eyes instead, waiting, waiting, but then I realized he wasn't going to instigate anything. Since patience had never been my virtue, I charged on him, after sending a spray of kunais which he dodged deftly with no effort whatsoever. Anticipating where he would appear next, I used Teishi Jikan to materialize right behind him, aiming a kick at his torso, smirking when my foot actually collided with something solid.

But then Itachi's form just seemed to shatter into hundred crows which swirled all around me, their eyes glowed menacingly red and their wings were portentously dark as they cawed and pecked on my flesh. " _Wind release; Air current wild dance_!" I shouted and all the crows disappeared into a cloud of dust with Itachi nowhere to be seen.

I closed my eyes, integrating small pluses of my chakra in the wind and just then I sensed him—too late—for he had managed to appear right behind me without making a sound, almost like a ghost. I could feel the blade of his katana swishing through the air making its way towards me but I swerved to the side in the last moment, meeting his sword with my own.

"Interesting," he drawled. "You can sense disturbances in the air by sending out your chakra pulses. I didn't know you were the sensory type. You surprise me, each time."

"You underestimate me." My voice was strained with an effort to keep his sword away from the vicinity of my body; he was too strong and I could tell that this wasn't even his full power. "And that's why you are going to lose."

He quickly and dexterously maneuvered his blade away from my sword and swung it at me again but this time, I let it graze against my ear, ignoring the small sting and then swerved to the side, meeting his blade again with renewed determination. For a while we dodged, parried and swung our swords, anticipating each other's moves, trying to read each other's mind and I felt a strange, undeniable connection, almost as if we really were communicating somehow, as if we really were building something... Understanding and trust, with every burst of adrenaline that surged through our bodies, the music of the collision of metal against metal as our swords collided, along with our thoughts. I could feel it… I could actually keep up with him, his strength, his speed, his thoughts… We were matched evenly as we fell into this strange dance, a harmony and for a fleeting moment, I felt as if I could actually win… Yes, I could win.

Feeling much more confident, I crouched down and swung my katana, aiming at his Achilles tendon which was always my favorite area to attack. But he dissolved into crows yet again, much to my frustration.

"Too predictable." He appeared right before me and took me off guard, kicking at my flank.

All the wind was knocked out of my lungs as I went flying to my left, landing clumsily on the ground. Cursing, I anchored my hands in the grass, trying to ignore the pain as I glared up at him, taking in his complacent eyes and his midnight hair reflecting golden tinge of late-evening's sun. He had definitely gotten far stronger than the last time.

"You always target the same sites," he said. "Achilles tendon, eyes, shins, shoulders—all the places you can use to immobilize your opponent. You cannot win from me if you aren't aiming to kill."

"I don't want to accidentally kill you—"

"Oh, but you should feel the need to kill me," he drawled almost silkily. "Or seriously harm me at least. My father killed your Uncle, didn't he?"

I could feel my chakra react to his deliberate provocation. "I assure you, if I was fighting your father, I would have charged straight for his heart. But you were not involved in my Uncle's murder. You were… _innocent._ "

A strange emotion flitted across his face and though he was careful not to betray anything, I caught on a glimpse of storm that I knew he always had inside of him. His eyes narrowed and his jaw muscle twitched ominously. I could tell that he was angry, for some reasons; there was a tangible shift in the air and I could sense an attack coming.

"Teishi Jikan!"

Wasting none of my time, I lunged at his frozen form, aiming a kick at his shoulder. For a second, nothing happened but when the time returned, his form merely dissolved into more crows. _A clone_! Which meant—

This time I was ready to meet his attack headlong when the real Itachi came for me. "Teishi Jikan!" I yelled once again, and managed to land a punch in his solar plexus, taking him by surprise. He gave out a grunt of pain and staggered away from me. "You have… gotten stronger," he conceded, "but…" His hands were already folding into multiple hand-seals with blinding speed and I knew I couldn't let him complete his jutsu. He was serious now, no longer playing anymore.

"Teishi Jikan!"

This time, I held my sword against his neck, ignoring his red eyes that were burning holes into me even as his whole body remained still because the time had stopped for him. But then suddenly, Itachi's form melted away from my sword in a flock of crows and then materialized good ten feet away from me. _Genjutsu!_ "H-How?" I choked out, my eyes wide and my legs quivering with chakra drainage. Time had indeed returned, even though I hadn't even released my jutsu yet. "How did you manage to tamper with my Teishi Jikan's limit?"

He smirked. "I realize that if I use my genjutsu on you, I can force down the chakra you use to keep the gate to the timeless-dimension open. In other words—"

"You have already managed to find the weakness of my Teishi Jikan and so it is useless against you," I concluded with no inflection in my voice as a cool gust of wind swept by me and an icy blade of his katana grazed softly against the skin over my jugular. A wave of fear swept over me and my whole body stiffened when I realized that I was entirely at his mercy. Somehow, he had managed to appear right behind me, so soundlessly, almost in a blink of an eye. It was almost terrifying; he was the very definition of a silent killer.

"Fine, you win, as always." I closed my eyes in defeat, trying to ignore our proximity which always seemed to do strange things to me.

Suddenly, I felt a bit light-headed as a wave of dizziness and nausea gripped me; repercussions of using Teishi Jikan repeatedly. I stumbled forward and would have fallen over if Itachi's arm hadn't snaked out and wrapped around my midriff, holding me steady. I could feel him behind me, the front of his clothes whispering against the back of mine and his breath warm against the nape of my neck as I clung to his strong arm for support.

"You are fast and your chakra is strong," he observed almost clinically. "But you rely on Teishi Jikan too much. You should learn to conserve your chakra more so you don't end up like this after every fight."

He was absolutely right of course but I was feeling too vindictive and too tired to agree. Though I had long ago accepted that I would never be able to surpass the great, prodigious Uchiha Itachi with his incredible sharingan prowess and mind-blowing skills, it was still demoralizing. "Don't lecture me," I huffed, cursing my innate lack of physical strength as a Fukuro. "You are not my sensei."

"Che. Stubborn as always." He sheathed his sword indifferently and released me as soon I was stable on my feet again. He didn't even gloat to celebrate his victory the way I would have done which was utterly pathetic; but then again, winning probably came as a second nature to him. "I can train you if you want."

"I don't need your training," I muttered, stepping away from him. I ventured closer to the edge of the cliff instead and looked miles down at the ceaselessly frothing waters of the River Naka. "Can I ask you something? During the Chunin exams… why did you ask me to forfeit in the start? You certainly didn't have any problem kicking my ass now."

He took few steps forward as well until he was standing precariously on the edge of the cliff with his back to me. A sliver of fear ran down my back. My irrational fear of heights was back; if he fell down into the river now, he would certainly die, wouldn't he?

"Because of my mother," he said, at length. "She told me to go easy on you."

"I see…" I wondered why I felt the strong impulse to grab him by his high-collared shirt and pull him back, away from the endless, deadly ravine, but I balled my hands at my side instead, feeling strangely helpless as I focused on the prominent Uchiha crest on his back. "Does your mother know that your father killed my Uncle?"

"Of course, she does." I already knew this but still, I felt betrayed, crushingly so. "She is the clan's matriarch, after all."

"She knew he was my Uncle," I said in a soft, quivering voice. "And yet she allowed him to die?"

"Like I said, family is everything to her," he said. "The love of family is what stops her from seeing anything else. Your uncle was a threat to her family and so, she watched him die even though she knew what he meant to you. You see, that is how the love of family can bind us. She sees your mother—and her best friend— in you and that is why she is so very fond of you, always thinking of your wellbeing. She even sees you as a daughter sometimes and asks me to protect you on the missions, but even then, she did nothing to protect your uncle then." A bitter, humorless grin curled his lips. "We Uchihas are all really twisted, down to our cores, huh?"

I said nothing as I assimilated this.

Itachi lapsed into silence too as he stared at the forever running waters, his coal-black hair fluttering in the wind.

"I wish it wasn't like this," I said at last. "I wish you both had no redeeming quality whatsoever, so I could hate you with no regrets."

"Can I ask you something really selfish?" he said offhandedly.

Warily, I nodded. Selfishness meant humanness. "Go ahead."

"Can you be like a daughter to her? Because I can't ever be a son she wants me to be. And she likes you... a lot."

My eyes narrowed to slits as a wave of indignation surged through me, like a wildfire. "Don't you think you are asking too much?" I said through gritted teeth. "She did stand by and let my Uncle get killed! How can I like her after this?"

"She… regrets it," he said slowly, his eyes shadowed under his bangs. "Each and every day, she wallows in guilt. Your mother meant a lot to her. And also… I know you see your own mother in her sometimes."

This time I wanted to kick him myself so that he went rolling down the precipice to where the deadly waters of the river writhed and danced, eager to swallow something—or someone—in their chasms. My grandmother was right; all the Uchihas were nothing but cruel, manipulative, calculating bastards, who did nothing except for playing with people's feelings. But at the same time, they were all so beguiling, irresistible almost, and it wasn't fair at all. I knew I should stay away from them and yet… Defeated, I closed my eyes, feeling the cool, powdered spray of water from the running waterfall over my heated face.

"I wish I could hate you and your mother," I whispered.

He turned to face me this time, finally taking a step away from the edge of precipice, much to my obvious relief. He smiled then. "But you can't hate us, can you?"

"No," I agreed.

He was like the river sometimes, flowing incessantly and I was like a precipice in his way; his turbulent and ruthless waters laving around me, trying to erode me, and yet I stood adamantly, proudly. But I knew he was winning and soon, I would find myself flowing with him. I was losing.

Soon, I will be lost.

I turned around to walk away. "Let's go," I said over my shoulder. "We are going to the Dango shop."

He raised an aristocratic eyebrow. "I was under impression that I was the winner."

"Consider this your punishment—for winning against me." I smiled. "Now let's go; you have got hundred dangos to finish. And I sincerely hope that you get sick."

* * *

 **A/N:** Happy New Year everyone! And just like that, I am done with another year of my college as well!

I was so excited when I heard they were making a new anime over Itachi's life, but did they just cancel it? Why? (-_-!) I know, I know, I am also a bit tired of watching that scene where Itachi sits over a pole like a batman but I wouldn't say no to his exclusive anime!

Anyways, thank you so much, once again, for reading, following, favoriting and reviewing. You guys make me super happy!

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER 19**

 _"...so I wait for you like a lonely house_

 _till you will see me again and live in me._

 _Till then my windows ache."_

― _Pablo Neruda_

* * *

Although Itachi had warned me not to forget who he was, I would repeatedly find myself overlooking the fact that he was an Uchiha. Perhaps I really was developing Alzheimer's, just as Isamu had suggested.

Since we were assigned on many missions together as a squad, I could feel Itachi and I growing closer as we worked, watching each other's back, defending each other. Of course, I was nowhere close to Itachi in strength but I wasn't a complete weakling either. I was still however adamant in my refusal to kill anyone, even for Konoha, which obviously grated on Itachi's nerves sometimes.

He never said anything though, even as he dispassionately drove his swords through the throats of the enemies from Kirigakure I had incapacitated earlier. We had both stayed back to get rid of these Nins that had been following us back home even after the conclusion of our mission.

I immediately felt guilty, belatedly realizing that I was still trying to protect myself. "I am sorry," I said earnestly. "I just can't seem to…"

"It is fine," he said dismissively, sheathing his sword, as if he was used to of doing other people's dirty work. "Let's go. Others should be nearing Konoha by now, I think. This fight took longer than I anticipated." With that, he immediately hoisted himself up a tree and darted off while I followed after him, shamefaced.

I knew that the fight had been prolonged because of my obvious reluctance to kill. The guilt kept jabbing at me as my eyes followed Itachi's lithe, unfaltering movements through the trees, the man who was responsible for carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders without fail. And it was probably due to people like me that his burdens were increased many-folds.

Hours passed and we were still moving at breakneck pace even though we had to be nearing our destination now. Yet, Itachi showed no intentions of allowing me a break even though the mission had been quite tiring and idly, I wondered if he was doing this to punish me, not that I could complain about it.

He halted so abruptly that I almost ran into him. "We rest here for few hours," he said offhandedly, his fingers weaving into several hand-signs of a summoning jutsu. A beautiful, black crow appeared and perched on Itachi's shoulder, eyeing me lazily from there.

"But don't you need to reach Konoha as fast as you can?" I asked. "You need to notify Hokage on how the mission went personally… I am sure Isamu will mess it up with the long descriptions of his ailments and Ryusei will just make things up to make himself look more heroic… and Sumiko will just state few, inadequate facts."

Unfazed, Itachi reached with his finger to stroke the crow's dark, iridescent feathers before attaching a scroll on its large talons. "This should brief Hokage on how the mission went," he said, watching the crow as it disappeared into the night. He turned to me then. "You look like you are ready to pass out. Rest for a while."

"I am not," I protested but I was already reclining against the tree's trunk, almost sighing with relief as I let the aching muscles of my legs rest. We were deep in the land of fire, close to the border of Konoha so we didn't have to care much about the enemies finding us here. The air was filled with a familiar woodsy scent of the forest that I could always associate with home and I allowed myself to revel in the deep sense of peace and tranquility I always felt on the return journey of our missions, since I knew that the worst was already behind us. For now, at least. I took off my owl mask, letting the cool, refreshing breeze caress my cheeks.

Itachi settled merely a foot away from me with his one leg outstretched in front of him and the other bent on the knee, his arm resting casually on its top. Suddenly, I was extremely aware of the fact that we were alone now and my stomach started doing small flip-flops due to our proximity. Annoyed with myself, I glanced at Itachi who looked unperturbed as ever.

I realized that I noticed things about him a lot recently. His aristocratic hands, so much bigger and stronger than mine, his sinewy arms, his sleek, sculpted chest hidden under the ANBU vest that was a testament to all the harsh training he had undergone, but more than anything, his beautiful, captivating eyes, framed with thick eyelashes that rested like a feather over his cheekbone when he closed them. Yet again, I was glad for the presence of tear-troughs under his eyes because that served to remind me that he was only a human, and not some infallible, miraculous being like everyone was bent on believing he was.

Very surreptitiously, I scooted a comfortable distance away from his arm that had been resting so close to mine and finally surrendered myself to sleep.

When I woke up, I realized that I was far more comfortable than I had expected myself to be. Usually, sleeping against the tree trunk over the forest floor rendered my back painfully stiff when I woke up but this time, something was different. I blinked away the vestiges of sleep from my eyes to realize that my head was pillowed against Itachi's shoulder and his arm was draped around my waist, holding me in place. Startled, I jumped away from him as if he had singed me.

"Stop overreacting," he said dryly, his onyx eyes flickering slightly in my direction but never moving away from the pages of the book he was apparently reading in the weak morning light. "I didn't do anything inappropriate to you if you are worried about that."

"Says a person who is reading Icha Icha paradise near a sleeping girl!" I retorted, gesturing wildly to the small book in hand.

He stared at me as if I was a raving lunatic. " _Porn_ ," he said at last almost dangerously, disgust evident on his face. "You think I am into that?"

"All the boys read that shit," I scoffed. "Kakashi-senpai reads it openly all the times, remember? And once I saw its copy in Ryusei's satchel too, even though he denied having bought it quite fervently. But seriously, it is nothing to be embarrassed of, you know."

"Miyuki," he said menacingly, snapping his book shut.

He looked so mortally offended that I couldn't help snickering, which of course made him scowl at me almost vengefully. "I was just kidding," I relented at last before he became even more irritated. I hadn't realized it before but he was fun to tease. I made mental note of doing that more in the future. "So what exactly are you reading, if not Jiraiya-san's masterpiece?"

I quickly snatched the book away from his hands before he had a chance to hide it and read what was written over its cover out loud. "Sasuke Sarutobi; a biography. A brief look into the life of an exemplary shinobi, a legend and a hero." I sighed in dismay. "I guess I should have known, what with your ambition to become the most exemplary shinobi, a legend and a hero yourself in the future and all."

"On the contrary, I don't look for glory." Stiffly, he took the book back from me as if it was something sacred and I was defacing it. "I just happen to be interested in history, that's all."

"Sure, sure." I yawned and stretched my arms. "What time is it?"

"You have been asleep for three hours." He opened the book and disappeared behind it again. "You can sleep for an hour more if you wish."

"Why didn't you wake me up for the next watch?" I frowned. "Aren't you going to sleep?"

"I don't feel particularly tired."

I snorted. What happened to lack of stamina being his weakness when he wasn't even a bit exhausted after such an intense mission? Clearly having an Uchiha body had its advantages; the strength, incredible chakra, the sharingan, not to mention the looks and charisma. It wasn't even fair for one person to have all these qualities.

"So... at what part are you?" I asked conversationally, not wanting to go back to sleep again. "Have you already read the second shinobi war part?"

His eyes widened slightly. "You have read this book?" he demanded.

"Well yeah." I was a bit offended by the obvious note of surprise in his voice. "Not of my own volition, though. Obaa-san made me read it in the hopes that I would get inspired to become a legend or a Hokage myself. Needless to say, she is quite disappointed with how I turned out..." I let my voice trail off as I rested my chin over my knees and gave out a pensive sigh. "Although I don't understand why villages are so important..."

I realized Itachi was appraising at me peculiarly, having shut his book. "Villages are important because that is the only way we can have peace in this world."

I shook my head. "There are wars because there are villages," I contradicted. "Nobody is really evil. We are all loyal to our villages. We are only trying to protect what is ours and that is why, there are wars. If we cared about humans as individuals more then perhaps, these wars could be avoided."

"That," Itachi said, frowning a bit, "is a very idealistic view, Miyuki. Peace is not something that comes without a price. You have to lose many certain things to achieve something, and war is just an inevitable outcome. Loyalty to the village is not necessarily the cause of the war. If someone is happy, it is because somewhere, someone else is suffering because of it."

"What about humanity though?" I mused out loud. "Isn't it the most important thing? Whenever I think of killing someone, I start thinking that perhaps he has a family waiting for him at his home, that he has his life and his dreams. Perhaps he is a good person too, so what right do I have to end his life? Even if he is from another village." I wrapped my arms around my knees. "Well, maybe I really don't have any right to talk like this— I did avenge my parents by taking someone's life, whether it was justified or not..." My parent's faces flashed briefly in front of my eyes. "All I am saying is that perhaps loyalty to village might not the greatest thing if it leads to so many wars...and deaths."

"But your parents died for the village as heroes."

I bit my tongue from saying something selfish which I knew would make him mad. Of course, my parents wouldn't have been killed if it wasn't for the war. But I couldn't really expect him to empathize with me because his parents were still alive. "You don't understand what I am saying," I mumbled.

"But we shinobis need something to be loyal to," Itachi said slowly. I realized that his usually unruffled eyes were burning with strange kind of fire, like he really believed in what he was saying. "We cannot survive on humanity alone because like it or not, ninjas like conflict and domination above all else. You cannot keep them from fighting because they need to satiate their lust for power, Miyuki, so why not give them something good, a noble reason to fight for? Before villages, there were clan wars and that's what led to the eventual demise of the Fukuro clan."

"By the hands of Uchihas, no less," I couldn't help pointing out, smiling acerbically. "And here I am fraternizing with the enemy of my ancestors. I bet my Obaa-san will be even more proud of me now."

He scowled darkly and didn't say anything. I could see a flicker of displeasure flash in his eyes but it went away quickly and presently, he sat there impassively, staring at the chirpy, morning birds that basked in the morning sun.

"Don't worry," I said almost ruefully. "I don't particularly care for my ancestors and what your ancestors did in the past also has nothing to do with you. Unlike Obaa-san, I am not prejudiced enough to hold something like this against you."

"That's... good to hear, I suppose." He looked visibly relieved

"Although..." My fingers curled around my arms. "You won't betray me, would you? I know you will become an Uchiha's clan-leader someday and I trust that you won't turn out to be your father. You will change the things for the better, right?" Even to my own ears, I sounded pathetically hopeful. I stared searchingly into his inscrutable eyes then, trying to decipher what those enigmatic dark orbs were saying.

A mysterious, almost melancholy smile touched his lips. "We'll see," was all he said.

…..

Slowly but surely, we were growing closer.

I even offered to show him the legendary and highly revered Fukuro library that sat underneath the Nisshoku shrine to allow him to cultivate this bizarre interest he seemed to have in history, even though I knew that if Obaa-san found out about this, she would probably kill Itachi by the most torturous method available and then force me to commit Seppuku.

Sometimes, we sat for hours on the dusty floors between the endless shelves that stored countless memory-preserving scrolls. Itachi was a bit disconcerted to find how much material the library held on most of the noble clans of Konoha, especially the Uchiha clan. I didn't blame him; innumerable memories and secrets of the ancient Uchiha members were preserved in these scrolls and the amount of information they held was absolutely staggering. "I am surprised you haven't already found a way to take over Uchiha clan if you have all this information," he said.

"I don't care much about that." I shrugged. "I don't usually like visiting the memories of the Uchihas. They are too dark and bloody for my tastes. It is like your ancestors had nothing better to do other than drinking sake and planning which clan to annihilate and pillage next."

Unfazed by that, Itachi calmly made a memory-releasing seal with his hands the way I had showed him and then closed his eyes in concentration as the inky rune etched on the scroll began to swirl languidly in the air. I stared at the small furrow that appeared in his forehead as he assimilated whatever memory he was seeing at the moment. His chiseled face was softly lit up with the golden lantern light and I thought about how strange it was to see him sitting there so casually in the familiar library I had so spent much of my time in.

There was a comfortable kind of familiarity between us now, the same familiarity we used to have when we were children and although, it was enough for me, there were still times when I felt a bit unsatisfied when I looked at him. Sometimes I would get flustered when he stared at me for too long with his too intense eyes and sometimes I would find myself looking at his lips when he called my name… Almost as if I would have liked to get even closer to him. Was it possible that I liked him romantically?

 _No_! I told myself vehemently. My hormones—and the fact that he was so good-looking— were probably messing up with me. I knew I needed to put a reign on these particular feelings of mine… I didn't want anything to spoil the subtle, platonic relationship we had now for anything…

"Miyuki?" I immediately jolted out of my reverie at the sound of my name. He never called me by my surname anymore. "What are you daydreaming about?"

"Nothing," I said stiffly. "What is it?"

"Did you see this memory, about Seiichi Fukuro?"

"No," I admitted. "But I know that he used to be a very famous ancestor of the Fukuro clan and my grandmother always tells me these extraordinary tales about him, which is really annoying if you ask me. He just seems like a really supercilious, self-righteous—"

"I think you will be interested in this," Itachi interrupted my rant. "He knew how to transport other people into the timeless-dimension as well using his Teishi Jikan."

"Really?" I wasn't exactly too surprised. There were many things about my kekkei genkai which were still a mystery to me. "I didn't know that could be done with my kekkei genkai."

"If you learn how to do that, it will be very helpful in our missions," Itachi said slowly, trying to gauge my expression. "I will help you train—"

"You don't need to do that," I said quickly. "I will learn how to do it myself somehow, trust me."

"If you don't mind me asking," he drawled, "why exactly are so perverse to the idea of training with me, Miyuki?"

"And why exactly are you so adamant on training me anyway?"

His eyes narrowed slightly, whether with annoyance or concern I couldn't tell. "Because I know that I can't always be there to protect you—"

"Who said I need your protection?" I retorted, swelling with indignation.

"…And so, I need you to be able to protect yourself," he finished passively, ignoring my outburst. "If I help you train to become even stronger in the future, it will be like I am protecting you indirectly, right?"

I forced away the bout of irritation. " _Uchiha_ ," I said seriously. "Nice as it is that you are so bent on making me stronger, I don't think I need your protection, whether directly or indirectly. You don't have to burden yourself for me."

"Would you stop being so stubborn?" he snapped with some aggravation. "It is not a burden—"

"Yeah right," I scoffed. "You are doing the same thing again, taking everyone's burden on your shoulders just because you are a bit stronger than others. You need to trust other's strength as well."

"You misunderstand," he said coldly. "It's not because I don't trust your strength."

"But you still refuse to share your burdens with people, right?" I said. "But trust me; even you can't do everything by yourself no matter how strong you are. You don't have to act so damn noble all the times, trying to protect everyone without fail..."

"Quite the contrary, Miyuki Fukuro," he said cryptically. "I am not as noble as you think I am." Suddenly his aura had grown incredibly forbidding but I couldn't help but notice how his eyes flickered away almost evasively.

"You have… _changed_ ," I observed, hating the slight tinge of sadness and helplessness in my voice.

"Really?" he drawled silkily. "How so?"

"You are more distant now, like you are always guarding your emotions... It is almost as if nobody can really tell what you are thinking. As if you trust no one."

A dark, humorless grin spread across his lips. "We were children back then. You can hardly expect me to still be the same."

"Perhaps," I allowed. "But even so... There must be reason for this… _change_ in you. I am guessing it is your clan. Or is it your father?" I scowled darkly. "I knew he will make your life hell someday with his twisted morals and—"

"Miyuki," he warned icily and there was an inflection of finality in his tone that left no room for argument.

I sighed with resignation. "Look, if I manage to master Seiichi Fukuro's technique within four weeks, will you tell me what's going on with you then?"

"There is no way you can master this technique within four week notice," he said. His tone wasn't derisive; it was only matter-of-fact.

Instead of taking umbrage at his lack of confidence in my abilities, I smiled. After all, I liked proving people wrong more than anything. "Four weeks," I reiterated. "By then, be prepared to tell me who has been bullying you all this time."

" _Bullying_ me?" he repeated with a note of incredulity in his voice. "Do I look like the person who gets _bullied_ , Miyuki?"

"I wouldn't know," I said cautiously. "I do know, however, that some people can take advantage of you because of your unwavering strength and your inability to complain about anything, so..." My voice trailed off meekly as I took in his stormy obsidian eyes. He was immensely irritated and I could feel the waves of tension rolling off him. I decided that it wasn't a good idea to provoke him any further because then, he might fortify himself completely against me and just order me to stop nagging.

"So..." he said silkily. "What will you do if you catch my _bullies_?" To my bafflement, he was actually smirking right now as if he found this notion utterly absurd and vaguely amusing. I felt a bit unsettled by his unpredictability, his capricious change of moods.

"I will give them a piece of my mind," I said fiercely. "I will beat all your bullies into oblivion."

Now he was definitely amused. "You will _beat_ all my bullies into _oblivion_?" he repeated, chuckling a little.

I didn't think it was a laughing matter. "I will... I will protect you," I vowed solemnly, huffing a little.

At least that shut him up. "Miyuki—"

"I already know what you are going to say," I said hastily, holding up my hand. "That I am too weak to protect someone like you and that you don't need protection... But all the same. If you want to help me carry my burdens, then be ready to share some of yours as well."

"You are impossible." A strange emotion crossed his face and I found myself looking at the reflection of lantern light in those fathomless, dark orbs, like a faint glimmer of sun in the midnight. "...Fair enough," he said eventually. "I like this notion of being... protected, new as it is for me."

Just then I sensed another chakra enter the premises of the Nisshoku shrine, punctuated by a cough and someone calling my name rather eagerly. "Oh no," I muttered. "Obaa-san."

Itachi looked a bit miffed at the interruption and indolently proceeded to conceal his chakra when I flashed him a deathly glare. "Manners dictate that I pay her my regards," he drawled, acting oblivious to my panic attack.

"Are you _insane_?" I hissed, pushing him in the direction of a small trapdoor. "If she sees you here, she will skin you alive! You need to leave this instant."

Itachi refused to budge, much to my aggravation. "Oh, but I feel obligated to greet her." He smirked, obviously enjoying my misery. "It seems rather rude to leave without saying goodbye to an elder. You see I wasn't raised like—"

"I don't care how you were raised, Uchiha," I spat through clenched teeth, attempting to pinch his shoulder as hard as I could but he quickly slithered out of the way. "Just get lost or I will kill you myself— Good riddance to you!"

Hurriedly, I managed to shove him in the trapdoor that opened into a tunnel which led to outside. With deliberate slowness, he climbed two steps down the ladder before stopping. Suddenly I realized that his face was just few inches away from mine.

My chakra reacted instantly and wildly to his closeness and a telltale heat rose in my cheeks as he leaned even closer. He was certainly aware of the effect he had on me because he smirked. "What are you—?" I sputtered out.

"Goodbye," he whispered.

And then he just _teleported_ himself out.

Seriously, he didn't even have decency to use the trapdoor I had managed to open for him after taking so many pains. And what was he playing at anyway? That insufferable brat… It made me wonder why I put up with him at all.

I slammed the trapdoor shut rather vengefully just as grandmother's salt and pepper head peeked into the Nisshoku library.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded a bit suspiciously

"Just looking at the scrolls and cleaning up," I said with feigned nonchalance as I furtively stuffed few Uchiha scrolls into the shelf before she realized what they were.

Usually she could tell if I was hiding something but this time, for some unfathomable reasons, she looked a bit too excited and distracted to care "Miyuki!" she exclaimed almost elatedly and I scowled at the uncharacteristic expressions on her usually austere, stringent face. Was she drunk? "I will have you know that I have been officially accepted into Konoha's Council of the Elders."

So that's why.

I beamed at her proudly. "Well, that is not a surprise. Seeing as how the council is full of testy, senile, old people like you who have nothing better to do all day other than gossiping and finding faults with our generation—"

"Such impertinence," she thundered. "Maybe I should celebrate this special occasion by _caning_ you!"

I laughed. "No, Obaa-san. I am happy for you." So afraid I was that she might somehow sense that Itachi had been here, I quickly grabbed her by her bony elbow. "Come on, Obaa-san. This occasion and only for this occasion, I will make you your favorite cabbage onigiri." Inwardly, I cringed. Oh God, what was I saying?

Spending so much time with Itachi was clearly deleterious for my mental health.

I was meticulously slicing the cabbage with a sharp knife and ignoring its atrocious smell when I noticed it from the window. Dark tendrils of clouds that were crawling insidiously around the peaks of the mountains, almost as if in premonition to something. Something bad.

An icy finger of dread ran down my spine unconsciously.

Deep down, I already knew that it hadn't been a good idea for grandmother to have joined the Council.

...

I didn't see much of Itachi after that but tried not to dwell over it. He was obviously a very busy and important shinobi who spent most of his time, either undertaking first-class ANBU missions with Shisui or attending the confidential clan meetings, unlike me who had nothing better to do whole day other than training, sleeping and generally wasting time loitering around the woods when I wasn't on some mission.

Grandmother had started spending most of her time at her office in Hokage's headquarters, ready to assist Sandaime whenever a situation called for it and when she wasn't doing those duties, she was training Hana as her disciple. Ryusei was mostly preoccupied nowadays, training with his father and his clan-members, polishing his Hyuuga skills and this obviously meant that I was spending more and more of my time all by myself.

Sometimes a strange cloud of gloom and melancholy would climb over me when I ambled around the empty halls and courtyards of Nisshoku shrine, all alone, sometimes trailing my fingers aimlessly over the wooden walls and shogi screens, wishing that someone would just appear out of thin air to keep me accompanied and to distract me from my wayward thoughts when my mind ran thousand miles a second like this. Sometimes I wish I didn't think so much.

In the meantime, I was, of course, training to master Seiichi Fukuro's technique and spending lot of my time in the library, studying the ancient Fukuro skills, but even that didn't do much to dispel these feelings of pensive wistfulness. Tired of stagnancy, I decided to stop procrastinating and visit Mikoto after all, even though I still held a grudge against her for letting my Uncle die.

As always, seeing her affectionate, maternal smile immediately calmed down the sense of unease and hollowness brewing inside of me and I allowed myself to grow serene as I listened to Mikoto chatter aimlessly on and on about something inconsequential, about those little anecdotes from past that she shared with my mother. Apparently my mother had been the audacious one who took all the risks and got the prim and proper Mikoto in trouble all the times. I found myself laughing several times and wondered how lucky Itachi was if he had to come home to this each time; a happy mother and a happy brother.

Well, not that Sasuke seemed to like me much. He would scowl at me almost resentfully from behind the shogi-screens, which led me to think that he was jealous of me, because in his dictionary, I was probably diverting his brother's— and now his mother's— attentions from him. "When are you going to leave?" he asked me rudely as soon as his mother left us alone.

"Soon, brat," I said, smirking a bit at his dark gaze.

"You are Nee-san's girlfriend, aren't you?" he grumbled, pouting.

"I am not his girlfriend. Don't insult me—"

"You are the reason he is never home… right? Okaa-san and I miss him a lot and my father is always scolding him for being absent from the meetings all the times. You should just… just … leave him alone."

"He is absent from the meetings?" I asked, a bit perplexed.

Sasuke nodded fervently. "He never used to miss meetings before until last year. And now he doesn't even train me anymore, always poking my forehead and going off somewhere… But I did everything by myself and got the first position in my class again!" His chest swelled out proudly and I could tell that he had been dying to tell this to someone, most likely his brother who was currently on some mission unfortunately.

"Good for you, brat." I beamed at him, ruffling up his hair with my fingers.

"Hey!" he protested, finger his dark, riotous spikes into some semblance of order again. "You keep your hands away from my hair and stop treating me like a child! I am going to surpass Itachi nee-san someday. Just wait!"

For a second, he reminded me so much of my own self when I was at his age that I had to chuckle. Surpassing the great, prodigious Itachi had always been my pipe-dream and I had to learn the hard way that it was quite an impossible feat. Nevertheless, I didn't want to crush little Sasuke's hopes and dreams so ruthlessly and who knows? He might even surpass Itachi someday since his Uchiha's bloodline was just as pure as his brother's. So I just smiled and made an attempt to brush his hair again but he immediately stepped away from the vicinity of my hands and glared at me almost as if he was repulsed by the gesture. "If you want, I can train you," I offered offhandedly.

He looked affronted. "I am probably more powerful than you are!"

I laughed. "So why aren't you an ANBU member yet?"

"You are in ANBU?" He seemed to be looking at me in new light now. "Well, maybe I will _let_ you train me then," he said loftily.

My one eye started beating at his arrogance. Seriously, the gall of this boy... "Well, I won't train you if you didn't ask me nicely," I told him seriously. "Strength isn't everything. You know you need to get your manners fixed as well."

He glowered at me as if I had just asked him to walk off the cliff and then he just sighed. "Willyoupleasetrainme," he mumbled.

"Louder," I ordered, smiling encouragingly. "Didn't quite catch that."

"Will you please train me?" he enunciated, blushing furiously, a gesture which I found vaguely adorable probably because it was so unlike Itachi at this age.

I laughed and ruffled up his hair to my heart's content, much to his chagrin. "Sure, kid."

….

After a small training session with Sasuke, I was pleasantly surprised to see Ryusei leaning against the torri-gate of the Nisshoku shrine, apparently waiting for me. "Where is Hana?" I asked, jogging up to where he stood.

He shrugged nonchalantly but I could tell that he was concerned. "Off on some mission to collect medicinal herbs or something, I presume. Not like I care."

I frowned. "So… how is it going, lover-boy?"

"Don't call me that!" he snapped and then sighed. "Nothing much. My father has been thrashing me more than usual lately but when I train with him, I get to thrash him back which is a good thing, I suppose. And also, Hiashi-sama has put me in charge of training his daughter and his nephew. Neji is good, quite good, and could almost be considered a genius, considering that he is from the branch-house but Hinata-hime is another story… Everyone thinks she is too fragile and kind to lead the clan in the future."

"So, you think that _you_ should have been the rightful heir to Hyuuga clan instead?" I said derisively as I ascended up the endless stairs of the Nisshoku shrine.

"I never said that," he said sharply, running his fingers through his dark hair as he followed after me. "It is just that… it is a dog-eat-dog world out there and Hyuuga clan is the worst of all. I really want her to get stronger than Neji…"

"Don't worry," I said. "She is what just six years old right now? You can't really expect much at this age." Unless it is someone precocious like Itachi. "And meanwhile, do something about your unrequited feelings for Hana."

"I can't help it if the only person she ever sees is Shisui Uchiha!" he protested.

"The reason why she doesn't look at you," I said gravely, "is because you are too busy trying to beat Shisui Uchiha that you are not even really looking at her either. Don't focus on Uchiha, focus on _her!_ "

He folded his arms sulkily across his chest and gave me a sly, sidelong glance. "Shouldn't you be talking about yourself right now?" he said pointedly. "Don't think I didn't notice—"

Sirens of warnings rung in my mind and I hastily quickened my pace up the stairs. "I don't know what you are talking about."

He laughed. "So what exactly is going on between you and the captain, huh?"

I froze in mid-step and would have fallen off the stairs if I hadn't grabbed on to a stone owl gargoyle to steady myself. " _What?_ " I choked out.

"Surprised?" He smirked. "I saw you that night on our first mission as ANBU, locking arms with Uchiha Itachi. Before that, I had no idea why you would always get so worked up whenever the word Uchiha was mentioned."

For a while I just stood there with my arms around the gargoyle, blinking incomprehensibly. Then I stomped my way to where he stood and grabbed him by the collar. "Did you tell about this to Hana?" I growled at him.

He easily extricated himself from my grasp, pushing my fists away. "I am not a gossiper, so of course, I didn't tell it to anyone. Stop being so defensive. Are you having some kind of secret affair with him?"

"Of course not!" I said heatedly, unable to believe that I was actually having this conversation with him. "He… We are just friends."

He raised an eyebrow, looking thoroughly unconvinced. "I thought you hated all the Uchihas," he said almost bitterly.

"Yes, but Itachi is different…" My voice trailed off when I realized that I was using exactly the same words Hana had said about Shisui. No wonder he was standing there so stiffly, looking almost betrayed. I sighed. Uchihas really were a bone of contention everywhere.

"So…" He forced his lips into a brittle smile. "Are your feelings reciprocated or are you going to turn into a Wisteria maiden as well?"

"Hey!"

…

Itachi returned to Konoha the next day but I remained unaware of his arrival because I was too busy training. I sat cross-legged over the waterfall cliff with my hands folded into a special hand-sign as I tried to focus my chakra to make enough space in the gate for the two people to squeeze into the time-dimension. But no matter how hard I tried, those thin threads of my chakra I needed to grab on to kept eluding me… It was hard, so hard that I almost wanted to give up. But then I had to remind myself firmly that Itachi wouldn't ever take me seriously unless I mastered this technique. And also, I didn't think I would be able to stand that smug look on Itachi's face when he realized that I had failed. No, that would be a nightmare.

After five hours of meditating and focusing, I sighed with exhaustion, letting my chakra sink back into its reserves which were running extremely low right now. My head was throbbing with vengeance and my neck muscles were extremely strained but it felt good to just sit there over the soft, emerald-green grass and listen to the subtle melody of the gushing waters of the river in the background. For a while, I just let the cool spray of water wash over my flushed face and then opened my eyes blearily, blinking off the water droplets…

Only to find Itachi leaning casually against the trunk of a cypress tree, appraising me coolly.

It was surreal to see him like this, with glittery rays of the dying sun gently highlighting his attractive profile, bringing out the color in his flawless hair that was like a dash of midnight in the vermillion hues of the evening. The indolent breeze was tossing the stray leaves in small whirlpools around us, making my hair flutter over my eyes but I brushed the tresses away with my fingers, maintaining the eye-contact with his enthralling eyes. At times like this, he looked so unreal that I couldn't help but worry that he would just disappear into thin air someday.

"You are back," I said softly once I had ascertained that he really was there and not a hallucination my over-worked brain had conjured up.

"Don't stop on my account," he said. "Continue training."

I tried to uncross my legs unceremoniously but they seemed to have fallen asleep after sitting in one posture for so long. "I cannot train with you watching me like that," I muttered, rubbing my thighs vigorously, trying to restore some feelings into the now lifeless limbs.

"Why, is it because I make you nervous?" His voice carried a trace of amusement.

"Yeah right," I scoffed and immediately pulled myself up in a standing position; bad move, since my legs were still barely recovering from the effects of paresthesia and so, were unable to support my weight. I staggered forward but Itachi immediately appeared to my right and slinked an arm across my waist, letting me lean heavily against his chest. He smelt fresh—of pine and woodsy citrus, which I realized as I inhaled deeply, was probably his soap. His hair was semi-wet as if he had just taken shower before coming here and he was dressed in his casual black, high-collared shirt and gray slacks. "How did the mission go?" I asked.

"Success, as always."

"When did you return?"

"…Few minutes ago."

"Did you meet your family?"

An elongated silence indicated that he hadn't.

He let go of me as soon as the feelings returned in my legs. "What are you doing here?" I scowled. "Your mother had been waiting for you quite impatiently and Sasuke said that you had some sort of clan meeting to attend today."

He shrugged noncommittally and turned to look at the flowing waters of the Naka River almost as if he was trying to evade my eyes. "My clan-members will not miss me for a day, don't worry."

I pursed my lips and refrained from saying anything. For one thing; he looked terribly exhausted and a bit haggard; even the tear-troughs under his eyes had gotten more pronounced. "What are you doing here though? Are you going to commence your training so soon after the mission? You need sleep to regain your strength, you know."

"I did come here to sleep," he pointed out wryly, "not to get nagged. I hadn't realized that certain someone had already taken over my place."

I immediately felt a bit embarrassed. "I didn't mean to intrude or anything," I said in a hush. "It's just that it was a nice spot to meditate and since you and Shisui-san were out of the village, I thought you both wouldn't mind… Wait, you were going to _sleep_ here?"

He pointed to a small hillock under the shade of the oak tree which was amply covered with turf; it could be a very good alternative to a mattress, except that— "But you can't just sleep here," I said a bit sternly. "That's what your home is for!"

"I will be fine here," he said dryly. "Thank you for your concern."

"Have you eaten anything at all?" I asked, ignoring his sarcastic tone.

"I will take the food-pill later on."

My eyes narrowed as I took in his countenance; he looked his normal, complacent self but I could see how slumberous and how tired his eyes actually were. Shaking my head, I reached forward and grabbed his wrist firmly. "You are coming with me," I ordered, giving him a tug. "Come on!" I urged when he refused to budge.

"Where, may I ask, are we going?" he drawled.

"To my home," I said shortly. "Don't worry; Obaa-san won't be there. She spends most of her time at her fancy office nowadays, so we will be all alone."

"Do you realize what you seem to be insinuating?" He smirked a little as he let me drag him in the direction of the Nisshoku shrine.

My cheeks grew hot as I replayed my earlier words in my head. "I… I am not insinuating anything, you moron! Stop thinking ridiculous things— you just need something to eat because you look like you haven't had a decent meal in a while and I am just taking you to my place because it is the closest from here since you refuse to go to your own house to eat and—"

"Sure, sure, I get it. You can stop babbling now." The corners of his lips twitched upward as he looked at me meaningfully. "To your home then."

I made Itachi sit in the kitchen and then proceeded to take a quick shower, scrubbing off the grim my body had accumulated over the day as fast as I could. I let my wet hair ripple down my back loosely to let it dry on its own and then returned to the kitchen only to find Itachi sitting over the floor-cushion with his elbow wedged over the kotatsu-table and his chin propped in his one hand, his eyes closed as if he was dozing off. I couldn't help but feel a bit bad for him… he was obviously too tired to even keep his eyes open and yet his dictator of a father was expecting him to attend some useless, tedious clan meeting? And here I thought I had it bad.

Also, it was a novel experience to see him in his more vulnerable, more _human_ state when I had only ever seen him act all unconquerable the way he did on the missions as his position demanded. He obviously trusted me enough to drop down his guard. Just a human, a teenager, I thought sadly, being forced to do so much. It wasn't fair on him at all.

I left him to nap at the table for few more minutes and decided to make simple rice onigiri and miso soup that would be easy on his stomach after all the food-pills he had been consuming. I would have asked him to help me cook but if he hadn't looked on the brink of passing out.

He opened his eyes languidly in a gesture that was unconsciously elegant as soon as I placed the dishes on the table in front of him and then he blinked at me like a lazy lion almost as if he was bemused. "Eat," I told him. "You can go back to sleep later on."

I handed him the chopsticks and wondered what the hell I was doing. Wasn't he supposed to let his mother do these things for him? But then again, I knew that Mikoto couldn't possibly keep him away from the evil clutches of his father and that was probably why Itachi was in this condition right now.

He took one bite of my lopsided onigiri and shook his head. "Too bland," he said.

"Well, I am not your mother so don't expect the food to taste like hers," I snapped testily, highly affronted. "Good to know that you are still an ungrateful brat though."

"Too bland…" he repeated as he took another bite.

"Well, you can go hungry, by all means then," I said coldly.

"…but its taste," he went on rather enigmatically. "Strangely, it tastes more like home than anything else."

"Just shut up and eat," I said wearily as I took a sip of my own miso-soup. Then I realized that since he was in this almost drunken state, I might be able to wheedle some answers out of him.

"So," I said as nonchalantly as I could, "what exactly is going at your place? I heard from Sasuke that you have been avoiding your father. Not that I mind it though… Your father deserves to be shunned for all his crimes, in my opinion but still, he is your father. "

He stared at me for a long time with his suddenly awake and intense eyes until I started fidgeting under his extended scrutiny. His long fingers traced the chopsticks slowly, measuring their length. "Have you managed to master Seiichi Fukuro's technique yet?"

"No," I said guiltily.

His lips twitched. "Then I am not entitled to answer your question, am I?"

"I cooked for you, didn't I?" I protested, gesturing to the array of dishes in front of us. "You might as well answer my questions in gratitude."

"I had my doubts about why you were being so kind," he said wryly, "but I hadn't known that it was just so you could interrogate me."

I sighed. Last thing I wanted was to aggravate him in his already weakened state. "Just finish eating then. I will let you freeload here only for this night because Obaa-san never comes home anymore anyway. But tomorrow you have to face your family. Your mother has been worried sick."

"Fine," he said a bit stiffly, obviously annoyed by all my nagging.

"And one more thing," I said as I gathered up the empty dishes from the table. "I will soon be able to master Seiichi Fukuro's technique so be ready."

He murmured his acquiescence grudgingly as I loaded the dishes in the sink and turned on the water faucet. "And while you are at it, take care of yourself more, will you?" I went on as I started sponging a soup bowl. "Honestly, when I first saw you today, I was almost scared out of my wits because you looked like such a zombie. You cannot afford to look like that or your crazy fan-club in Konoha is going to ditch you soon. Like I said, you don't have to carry everyone's burden and ignore yourself like this. You are only a human after all…" I lapsed into silence when I realized that there was no answer on the other end. I sighed, deciding that the idiot had probably fallen asleep.

I wiped my wet hands on the towel and was about to turn around when, to my utter surprise, I felt him appear right behind me and his distinctive scent of pine invade my nose. My eyes widened when I felt his hands curl around my shoulders as he drew me against his chest, his face coming to rest atop my head. "Itachi?" I endeavored to whisper rather breathlessly.

He didn't respond.

That moment seemed to stretch on infinitely as we just stood there like this, so close together without saying anything. His steady heartbeat against my back marked that transient time and after a while, I lost track of it as well. The tranquil silence between us seemed to say all that our tongues couldn't and I was just content to listen to this endless song of silence, with him so close to me. A strange, aching pressure of yearnings bloomed over my chest. "Thank you," he whispered in the roots of my freshly shampooed, apple-scented hair. "For the food and for your feelings."

He released me then and stepped away from me as I turned around to face him, feeling an overwhelming urge to look into his eyes. Those same wintry yet surprisingly kind eyes that always seemed to be protecting me from all my fears. "At least now you won't be able to say that I am ungrateful," he said almost smugly.

I leaned against the counter on the opposite side and was about to give a witty rejoinder when he reached forward casually and rolled the ends of my hair around his graceful, slender fingers. Soon his fingertips were making their way up my hair to trace my scalp tenderly, almost tantalizingly. My eyes fluttered close at the lingering contact.

His eyes grew dark and hazy with some unfathomable emotion as he stepped forward, effectively trapping me against the counter and then leaned towards me as if it was the most natural thing for him to do. I immediately stiffened, feeling my heart palpitate wildly in my chest when I saw his eyes flicker towards my lips. My eyes widened slightly as I realized what his intentions were and I trembled inadvertently under his heavy gaze with anticipation mingled with dread and desire.

He was so close that I could almost feel his breath tingling over my lips.

And then suddenly, before I could even grab a fistful of his shirt, he was gone.

Just disappeared into thin air, leaving the lingering feelings in my lips as I blinked, a bit disoriented and dazed to find myself alone in the kitchen when just a second ago he had been on the verge of... _kissing_ me? I glared into space as a surge of anger, so quick to overpower me as always, washed over me. That… that _coward_! What was he playing at? Just what exactly did he think of me?

How dared he make me feel this way, so vulnerable and flustered and then just leave like that?

I was considering hunting him down like a pack of wolves when suddenly I sensed a familiar chakra entering the Nisshoku shrine. Obaa-san was back.

So that was the reason for his quick, untimely departure.

My fury melted away like snow as quickly as it had come and I took in deep breaths to stabilize myself. What had just happened? Had I been about to lose my first kiss? A furious blush flared across my cheeks and I pressed my cool hands over my flushed skin, feeling a bit light-headed. Was Itachi just going to… _kiss_ me before Obaa-san had interrupted? I wondered if I was relieved or disappointed at the intervention.

Definitely relieved, I decided at last because I wouldn't have known how to react if he really had kissed me anyway, having no prior experience in this field whatsoever. I would have made a complete fool out of myself. But though I tried to tell myself that, another part of me was feeling immensely disappointed… I touched my lips lightly, almost experimentally.

"What are you touching your lips for, girl?" Grandmother thundered, making me snap out of my reverie. "Are you growing a _furuncle_ over it?"

"No," I snapped almost wrathfully. Definitely disappointed.

Grandmother gave me a suspicious frown in response but I ignored it and trudged my way to my room, wondering what Itachi was doing at the moment and if he was thinking the same thoughts I was thinking. Had our near-kiss overwhelmed him as well? Was he disappointed too… or was he just regretting it?

Most importantly, was he getting the rest his body needed so badly?

I turned over on my futon, tucking my hand under my face and hoped that he was sleeping somewhere warm and snug and not on that hillock near the waterfall in the cold.

I wrapped my arms around my knees and huddled under my warm blanket as I looked outside the window, at the shimmery stars strewn over the black silk of the night sky, weaving into cryptic, celestial pathways of the constellations. The very same constellations we used to trace with our innocent, dream-filled eyes, when Itachi and I were just children. So much had happened since then.

But the sky was still the same.

* * *

 **A/N:** So sorry, guys, for all the wait. It's just that I have been much too busy. I don't want to whine about the pains of being a Medical student here, but man, this profession is much too hard. :-( But in between the breaks in the ward-duties, I managed to write this chapter down on my tab. I tried to make it a bit longer to make up for not updating earlier, so please let me know what you think of this!

Thank you so much, for waiting and reading this and for your wonderful reviews!

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER 20**

 _"Time is very slow for those who wait._

 _Very fast for those who are scared_

 _Very long for those who lament_

 _Very short for those who celebrate_

 _But for those who love, time is eternal."_

 _-William Shakespeare_

* * *

Itachi didn't bring up that near-kiss incident after that.

It made me feel almost like a pathetic fool for having spent so much time thinking and agonizing over it. That night, I had lain under covers, tossing and turning, thinking of the things to say to him or the ways to react when I saw him again to avoid any kind of awkwardness. But when he didn't even say a word about it and acted just the way he did usually, I didn't know what to make of it. I was confused and baffled, needless to say, and disappointed as well. Crushingly so. Had I really wanted him to kiss me?

Yes.

Even if he was an Uchiha, the person I had spent majority of my life trying to hate (and had failed miserably) Even after everything that had transpired between us... I would have wanted him to be the one. There was no point denying it anyway. But when he didn't even act out of ordinary after that strange event in the kitchen, I started to wonder if I had imagined it.

Or perhaps he had been feeling way too delusional and delirious himself in his sleep-deprived state and that was the reason why he had acted so out of character. Whatever the reason was, I knew it was behind us now and to evade the awkwardness interacting with him in the future, I needed to forget all about it.

But I couldn't.

Much to my chagrin, I would find myself thinking about it in random, inappropriate moments, wondering how his lips would feel like against mine… Even when I was training; it was extremely, hopelessly distracting. Stupid, stupid Itachi. It was all his fault for messing with me.

In the meanwhile, I could tell that he was deliberately trying to distract me from my training. Why else would he appear whenever I was doing something of utmost importance like learning how to mold my chakra or just meditating, and then try to allure me with a sparring match or a visit to Dango shop? "Stop it!" I told him for umpteenth time. "Can't you see I am training? Kindly leave when I am asking you nicely or I will drown you in the river myself."

He remained undeterred. "Now that is a very rude thing to say to a person who is obviously worried about your wellbeing."

"I can tell what you are doing!" I said. "You are trying to distract me."

"Why would I do that?" His eyes widened slightly in sham innocence but a small, sly smirk over his lips gave away his devious motives.

"So that you can make me lose my bet!" I clipped. "That way you won't have to be answerable to me for anything."

"Miyuki, Miyuki," he sighed with mock weariness. "I am merely here out of concern, because you look like on the brink of collapsing with all that training. It is entirely your fault if you find my presence so overwhelmingly distracting."

"I find your presence _irritating_ ," I corrected him. "So what do you want, Uchiha. You better have a good reason for interrupting my training session."

" _Itachi."_

"I know what your name is," I snapped testily.

"Then use it when you address me."

"No way."

"Why not, may I ask?"

"Because," I said with quiet resolve. "Because I need to keep reminding myself that you are an Uchiha."

A pause. "…That is very wise of you, indeed," he said at last. I could tell that his eyes had darkened to a stormy shade of black as if he was thinking something, something I didn't think I would like. It was almost terrifying how quickly the ambience around him tended to change... But then the moment had passed, thankfully, and he was back to his usual self. "So…" he said. "Can I tempt you? I could take you to a meal if you want... I owe you one anyway."

"No, you cannot tempt me!" I stipulated. "I need to train… I need to get this technique right no matter what. There isn't much time left…"

"Why are you adamant on mastering this technique anyway?"

I blinked. "I thought it was obvious. Because I need to win our bet at all costs. And also, I need to prove myself to you…"

"You don't need to prove anything to me," he interrupted quietly, his eyes shrouding with a nameless emotion. "I know how strong you are, and I know your weaknesses as well. I know you… inside and outside."

Unconsciously, I shuddered under his penetrating eyes. How he did that, I wondered… Sometimes, I feared that he could see with his eyes, the things hidden deep within the subconscious crevasses of my mind, the things even I myself wasn't aware of, the things I couldn't dare to admit even to myself. Was it because of his sharingan? For some inexplicable reason, I felt much too vulnerable under his unwavering gaze, in a very uncomfortable way, because I was usually an introspective person who didn't like it when people knew too much about me and that included Itachi. So, I managed to give a nonchalant scoff. "That's just absurd. I bet there are many things you don't know about me."

"Is that right?" he said rhetorically with a mysterious smile. "I am very perceptive, I am afraid."

"Well, so am I." I met his gaze defiantly, challenging him with my eyes.

"To an extent," he conceded. "You see me… differently from how most people perceive me. I will give you that. But I can also safely say that there are quite lot of things you don't know about me either."

"It is because you never say what you think," I said bluntly. "I don't beat around the bush, unlike you. I just make it easier for you to read me because I am not a conniving, underhanded person like you are."

"Calling me conniving and underhanded is a bit too harsh. You just read ulterior motives into everything I do or say because of your own paranoia."

"I am not paranoid," I snapped. "I know you are trying to sidetrack me on purpose, to make me lose the bet. Why else would you be here? Now go away. You are pestering me."

Before I could turn away from him and dismiss him for good, he stopped me with a slight but firm pressure of his fingers under my chin and forced me to meet his beautiful and slightly annoyed eyes. "Has it occurred to you," he drawled silkily, "that I might be here because I want to spend more time with you?"

My eyes locked with his in incredulity as I tried to search for the signs of deceit and mockery over his face but for the first time, he was completely earnest. "You... You want to spend more time with me?" I breathed softly, almost fearfully.

"Why is it so hard to believe? Your company is not all that bad."

It wasn't the first time he had caught me off-guard but this time, I was rendered unable to form even a single, coherent sentence.

"Also..." he said, still holding me a prisoner with his now intense, almost predatory gaze and his hold over my chin remained inexorable. "I know you have been running away from me, Miyuki. But this is as far as you go."

….

I couldn't believe I had let Itachi smooth-talk me into this. I knew he could be very persuasive when he wanted to be but I hadn't realized how incredibly silver-tongued he was. It had been a bad idea to roam around in Konoha streets with him because now everyone was giving me these long, judgmental looks no matter how inconspicuous I tried to be and Itachi's fan-girls were blatantly glaring at me for stealing away the attentions of the Konoha prodigy who, according to them, rightfully belonged only to them. But that wasn't what was bothering me.

As we turned towards an intersection, my worst fears were confirmed when we came face to face with Hana—along with Shisui Uchiha of body flicker, no less. Now Hana and I were gaping at each other with our mouths hanging open, Shisui was smirking as if he found the whole situation humorous and Itachi looked as unperturbed as ever.

Then finally, Shisui decided to break the uncomfortable silence. "So," he chuckled as he removed a hand from Hana's waist and swung it around Itachi's shoulders instead. "You finally decided that it was time for you to start dating. You have grown up nicely, O cousin of mine. I can tell that I have been a good influence on you."

"It is not a date!" I protested as my irrational dislike for Shisui resurfaced.

Hana looked unconvinced as she scowled back at me, obviously irritated that I had hidden this integral piece of information from her when she had been more than open about the big crush she had over Shisui.

"Shisui," Itachi said coldly. "Kindly refrain from jumping to conclusions."

"It is just a business dinner between the two teammates," I said hastily. "We were going to discuss strategies for the next mission while having dinner, right?" I elbowed Itachi desperately.

"You two were going to discuss the confidential battle strategies in the public place?" Shisui said slowly, chortling as he did so. "Nah, that is not Itachi's style." He winked at me. "Itachi is a very private person, aren't you O cousin of mine?"

"Shisui," Itachi clipped, easily maneuvering himself out of his cousin's grasp. "Do you have time to be loitering around yourself? I thought my father and Uchiha elders had assigned you on some special mission this morning."

"That's quite alright," Shisui said cheerfully, shrugging. "My mission is to keep an eye on you, so as long as I am with you, I won't be straying from my orders or 'loitering around' as you say."

A deathly silence followed.

"Shisui," Itachi warned at last, casting me a furtive, sidelong glance before locking his baleful eyes with Shisui. Again, I knew they were communicating without having a verbal conversation, almost as if they were telepathic. I could sense minuscule changes in Itachi's demeanor, slight tensing of a muscle in his cheek, his steely eyes and the way his tendons protruded out in his hands as he curled them into fists. Why had Uchiha clan asked Shisui to keep an eye on Itachi, clan's biggest asset and possibly their most formidable and resourceful heir to ever live?

The dark, feral tension between the two thickened almost to a tangible degree and I knew it was going to escalate into something unpleasant if someone didn't intervene soon but I was curious to see where it all went. Hana had sensed it as well because she was looking from Itachi to Shisui, nonplussed. "Um, Shisui-kun?" she asked tentatively, touching his arm.

This made both of them snap out of whatever trance they were in and Shisui smiled widely, probably to ameliorate the situation. "Let's go, Hana," he said amiably. "I think we should let these two enjoy their first date alone."

"You have lot of explaining to do," Hana hissed in my ear as she drifted away into the crowd, her hand in the crook of Shisui's arm.

I could think of another person who had lot of explaining to do, but something told me that Itachi wasn't going to be that compliant. Needless to say, the dinner passed in rather tense silence. Itachi was obviously angry at Shisui for spilling out clan's apparently clandestine secrets in front of Hana and me, but I could tell that that wasn't everything. I tried to make small, good-natured conversation which he didn't seem all that eager to take part in and chewed his share of nigiri sushi contemplatively instead, his midnight eyes faraway. So I lapsed into silence as well and forced myself to quell my curiosity and apprehension, allowing him to work out whatever he was thinking in peace. The food was delicious but it was a shame that none of us could savor its taste.

"Come on, I will walk you home," I said as soon as we exited the restaurant into the cool night.

"You will walk _me_ home?" he repeated, a bit skeptically. "I have been raised to walk girls home, not the other way round."

"It doesn't matter who is walking who, does it?" I said as he casually fell into step with me. "As long as we are walking together."

For the first time that night, he smiled a little. "I like the sound of that," he said. "Do forgive me for being so inattentive tonight though... I have been a bit over the edge lately but that's no excuse. "

I shrugged. "It's alright. I don't mind."

Soon, we had left behind the bustling village of Konoha and were walking over the familiar, meandering trail in the mountains with nothing but the pearlescent moon lighting up our path. The song of the crickets and of gushing waters in nearby water-channels and Naka River was a steady melody in the background against the soft crunching of our sandals over the pebbles and dried leaves. Sometimes, through the dark thickets of the spindly larch trees that lined our right, the whole valley of Konoha would appear. The twinkling night-lights of the buildings in the valley created an illusion of another starry night sky right there under our feet.

We walked in companionable silence, just the way we used to when we were children. With Itachi, there was never any need to fill in the air with pointless words. It was as if we understood each other completely without saying a thing, like we were each other's shadows in the night.

I was about to take the trail that led to our houses when Itachi stopped walking abruptly. "What made you think that I will be going home tonight?" he said cryptically.

My eyes snapped in his direction. His hands were shoved casually in his pockets and his eyes were carefully hidden under his long, raven bangs. He looked inscrutable as ever under the dim moonlight, but I could tell that something was bothering him. "I understand if you don't want to go home," I sighed, looking down. "I wouldn't want to go home either if my own father had asked someone to spy on me."

He didn't seem all that surprised that I had brought this up. In fact, he looked like he had been waiting for me to do so. He didn't say anything though and that bothered me a lot more than his occasional lies that everything was fine when it most certainly wasn't. I wondered if this was how it was going to be, with me prodding him with questions and him, responding with circumspective silences.

"So, I was right," I said softly. "Your clan has been bullying you."

A bitter smirk twisted his lips. "Do you think they can bully me when I am more powerful than any of them?" There was a hint of barely concealed, acerbic condescension in his voice which made my eyes narrow.

"Why did they ask Shisui-san to keep an eye on you?"

More silence.

So it was even more serious than I had thought. "Has… has your father lost trust in you?"

"It would seem," he agreed tersely.

"Why?" I whispered so softly that it might have been the wind but he caught it, as always, although he still refused to honor that with an answer. "Is it because you have been, you know, ignoring your filial duties and those kinds of things? Or is it because they are afraid of you?"

"My father's views and my views differ. That's all."

"What kind of _views_?" I demanded carefully. "Is it because you have finally seen the evil side of your clan? Was Obaa-san right? Are Uchihas really a threat to Konoha?"

He instantly reacted in a way I hadn't expected him to. His eyes immediately bled into ominous crimson, immobilizing me with a lethal glare and then he took a menacing step towards me. I inadvertently took a step back, fighting away a sliver of fear as I took in the two luminescent, blood-red orbs in the night. "It would be in your best interests to stay away from my clan's affairs," he said chillingly. "You don't understand anything."

I could see that he was using his sharingan as an intimidation tactic and I refused to be intimidated. "On the contrary," I said with renewed bout of courage, "I understand way more than you want me to, isn't that right? You say you want to spend time with me but you don't want to tell me anything of importance. It doesn't work that way."

He didn't say anything and kept glaring at me instead as the dark, forbidding aura around him intensified until it saturated the air, until it was impossible for me to breath. I wondered why his quiet fury was so petrifying. "Perhaps," he murmured as he took another step towards me in warning. "It would be better for both of us if we just stayed away from each other."

I scoffed, trying to keep away the hurt of rejection from my voice. "So who is running away now?"

"Why are you so interested in Uchiha's affair anyway?" His eyes narrowed to slits. "Is it still about revenge for what my father did to your Uncle? Perhaps, despite what you said, you still harbor—"

"Stop!" I seethed, momentarily blinded by the rage as my hand rose on its own volition but before I could give him a well-deserved backhand that sent him hurtling down the valley, he easily caught my wrist with his razor-sharp reflexes. "How could you even assume—" I broke off in anger. "You think I am doing all this because I am plotting revenge? You think all this is some kind of cunning ruse so that I could backstab you in the end?"

His fingers slackened on my wrist but he didn't relinquish his grip.

"I can't believe I actually cared for you, was worried sick— when all this time you thought I was some kind of sick, scheming avenger—"

"Miyuki—"

"You know what? You are not even worth my time and efforts!"

"Miyuki." I realized that his midnight-black irises were back and corners of his lips were tugging up in a... _smile_? Did he find my indignation amusing, a laughing matter? I gritted my teeth and tried to wrench my wrist away from his vicelike grip. "Let go, you _bastard_ —"

To my utter surprise, he gave me a small tug until his face was just inches away from me. "So you finally admitted that you cared for me, huh?"

I didn't know what to say to this and found that my anger had dissipated somewhat, replaced by confusion. For a while at least.

"I apologize. I didn't doubt you, not even once," he said. "I do not think you have the patience required to scheme something elaborate and underhanded like that anyway. And besides, I know backstabbing is not your ninja way."

"Then why...?" I whispered.

"I care about you too, Miyuki," he went on. "So, for your own sake, ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies."

"Not even if I mastered Seiichi Fukuro's technique?"

He let go of my wrist and stepped away from me. "No."

There was an absolute finality to his voice and I knew nothing I could do or say would change his mind but even then, for some reasons, I desperately wanted him to trust me. As he stood there with his hair covering his eyes, not looking in my direction, I wondered if he realized how his loneliness was encroaching over me until it was almost my own. Why though? Why did he not see what he was doing to me by keeping me in dark and suffering alone? Had I not promised him that I would do anything, _anything_ to share his burden and protect him?

Before I could stop myself, I stepped forward and grabbed his arm, forcing him to look into my eyes. "Itachi," I said and I could almost hear the beseeching edge to my forceful voice. "Do you trust me?"

His eyes finally found mine. "Yes," he replied easily and I tightened my grip around his hand.

"I hope you know," I whispered, "that I am your ally."

"Alliances can be changed easily," he said. "All shinobi know that."

"Not mine," I said, closing my eyes. "I will never betray you."

There was warm, gentle pressure at the side of my cheek then, where his hand came to rest, his fingers threading into hair behind my ear. He tilted my chin up until I was staring helplessly into his profound eyes, like oceans in the night and I stopped breathing, too afraid to fall into them.

"I know," he said.

"Then why won't you tell me what's hurting you?"

He didn't speak, but his eyes darkened. It was almost as if he was willing me to understand without saying a word, and the more I tried to understand, more the aching pressure of longing over my chest increased and tears began to sting my eyes.

"Miyuki," he whispered.

Suddenly, I was hyperaware of our proximity, his callused thumb resting a centimeter away from my lips. He tilted his head down slightly until his cool, inky hair was tickling my cheeks and his breath was whispering against my lips. I realized that he was watching me expectantly now with his sad, heavy-lidded eyes, as if he was waiting to see what I would do next. I trembled slightly under his hand with anticipation for I knew that I only had to move perhaps three inches and my lips would be touching his.

But before that, I wanted him to answer my question. And I knew that he wasn't going to.

So, I shook my head and slipped away from his fingers, extricating myself from his arms and cruelly crushing my desire to stay in them forever. I stepped away, with my fist to my chest. I was afraid, of giving myself to him, when he obviously wouldn't give himself to me. I was afraid of the power he had over me, when I had no power over him. I was afraid, and I wanted more.

So, I was going to deny him, because he had denied me first.

"Come on then," I said, trying to sound as casual as I could but my voice sounded suspiciously more high-pitched than usual. "You can stay the night at my place if you don't want to go home. We have empty guestrooms and you can transform into Hana if Obaa-san decides to come home, like the last time..." My voice trailed off and small blush colored my cheeks as I remembered the incident in the kitchen and what had happened between us just now… Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to invite him to Nisshoku shrine after all.

"It's alright," he said at last. "I think I will go home. I haven't spent time with Sasuke in a while anyway. And I need to stop running away and face the music, just like you said."

"Oh ok." I gave him a brittle smile and turned in the direction of Nisshoku shrine. "If that's what you want... Take care, then."

 _I will always be here._

As I walked away, I wished I could say that to him. Just when I was about to disappear around the bend in the trees, I turned around to look at him.

He hadn't moved an inch from where he stood with his hands in his pockets. I realized he was looking at the moon, like a lone wolf with shimmery moonlight glancing off the contours of his face, making his obsidian eyes glint eerily. Right now, he was amost hauntingly beautiful, like some kind of angel of the night. There was subtle sense of loneliness emanating from him and it was so tangible that I could feel it in my bones. And no matter how much I longed to alleviate it, I knew he wouldn't let me.

 _But I will always be here. I hope you know that... Itachi._

...

Itachi had made it quite clear that he wasn't going to open up to me. But that didn't stop me from training. In fact, it had made me start with renewed fervor. Perhaps I was just channeling my frustration and helplessness into it. Or perhaps it was because training helped put a reign on my thoughts; it was easier to forget when my chakra was sizzling in my muscles, on my fingertips like this and my body was covered in sweat from head to toe.

I mastered Seichi Fukuro's technique three days before the deadline. But the sense of achievement I usually felt when I finally reached the goal after a painstakingly hard training was just not there.

Itachi returned to Konoha two days later after some elite solo mission and was obviously a bit surprised to see me waiting there for him at Konoha gates holding a traditional, oil-paper umbrella with autumn leaves patterns. Slight, misty drizzle of late-summer was trickling down from the moonstone-gray sky, making everything shimmer wetly and heady scent of earth saturating the air was almost intoxicating.

"What are you doing here?" he asked smoothly as he leaned on the other side of the gate with his arms folded across his chest. He took off his ANBU mask to reveal his slightly tanned, handsome face.

"Is this something you say to someone who has been standing in the rain to welcome you home?" I replied chidingly, twirling the umbrella in my fingers, taking in his rain-drenched countenance. I tried not to notice how his wet shirt clung to his muscles.

"Sorry," he responded with dry sarcasm, smirking. "So, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I wanted to show you something," I admitted.

"And here I thought you just couldn't wait to see me."

"Dream on." I smiled. "Well then, I can tell that you are not injured, which means that your mission was obviously a success, as always. So come along, follow me."

"And you think that whatever you have to show me is more important than reporting to Hokage?"

"Are you coming or not?"

He heaved a sigh and lazily folded his hands into familiar seals of bunshin no jutsu. Another, rain-soaked Itachi appeared and then jumped off over the trees, disappearing into the rain. Of course, the missions always took priority for the youngest ANBU Captain but I was pleasantly surprised that he had decided to send a clone to Hokage's office while the real one had decided to stay with me.

I could tell that he was curious as he followed me and if he wasn't already drenched in rain from head to toe, I would have offered to share an umbrella with him. I led him over the mountains and stopped at our spot, the Naka waterfall cliff, feeling his footfalls as he landed softly and gracefully over the wet, green grass beside me.

The flow of water in the river and waterfall was heavier than usual due to the rainy season and for a while, I reveled in the sights and sounds of the rain, the glittery raindrops sparkling over the green leaves, the trees swaying gently to the music of the incessant, cascading waters.

"I know that our bet is invalid at this point," I started slowly, looking at him from under the brim of my umbrella. "I am not expecting anything, but I guess I just wanted to prove you wrong after all. You said I won't be able to master this technique in four-weeks time, but I promised to you that I will. And I don't go back on my promises. I thought it would be fun to make you eat your words."

He was looking at me with those same inscrutable, enigmatic eyes, so black against the resplendant greenness of the landscape. He didn't seem even the least bit surprised that I had mastered the technique, almost as if he had expected me to.

"And also," I went on as I started making the hand-seals. "I wanted to show you, how the world looks when the time stops. How peaceful it is when you are suspended in the timeless space like this... I know that time doesn't really stop: it is just an illusion. You can't ever stop the inevitable from happening, but...the beauty of a moment that doesn't last... It is out of this world."

 _Because that's what you are to me; an infinity trapped in a moment, a caprice.._

I let my umbrella fall to the ground, feeling the soothing rain envelop me as I held out my both hands to him, having completed the seal. He looked bemused for a moment before he grasped them firmly, his callused hands strong and warm around mine. I ignored the tendrils of yearnings the contact evoked in my chest and tried to focus on the thin, gossamer threads of chakra in my mind that were connected to the gate I needed to open. Focus, Miyuki, I told myself...Focus...Focus...

"Teishi jikan!"

And then suddenly, the time halted for both of us.

For a while, I just stared at the crystal-drops of rain suspended in the air in front of us, marvelling at the way a single sunray that had managed to penetrate the clouds, made them shimmer iridescently like diamonds. Then Itachi's hands tightened around mine slightly, bringing my attention back to his enthralled, obsidian eyes but to my astonishment, he wasn't looking at the magical, still world around us hanging in timelessness. He was looking at me.

His charcoal-black eyes were smoldering and I was almost unnerved by the heavy intensity in them, the unbridled urgency, the desire in their tumultous depths.

He leaned forward gently, pulling at my hands until we were so close that I could see the raindrops on his eyelashes, until I could smell his special scent, an amalgam of rain and fire. And then his lips touched mine.

It was very gentle at first, innocent, almost awkward, but it lasted an eternity as we stood there, suspended in time and silence. But then my jutsu was breaking and the rain started pelting us once again and we grew more desperate, more needy, because our infinitesimal moment was over and the time had indeed returned.

His one arm curled around my waist as he jerked me against his chest with unbridled need and his other hand traced the curve of my neck, leaving a trail of fire in its wake until it curled into my hair. I ran my fingers slowly up the sinewy muscles of his shoulders and arms, twisting my fingers in his black tresses as I kissed him back with no reservations.

And then I realized what I was doing, that he was an Uchiha and I was a Fukuro, that his father had killed my Uncle, that there were still so many things that were so unclear between us... Yet, it had to be wrong to feel so happy, so whole, because happiness is always so ephemeral...

And suddenly, these ineffable feelings were too much for me. I broke off the kiss and shaking my head emphatically, I stepped away from him before I lost my mind completely. My cheeks were feverish and my heart was thudding against my heaving chest like a wild bird struggling to be free. What had just happened?

I could feel Itachi's heavy gaze on me but I felt too shy, mortified, to face him right now.

"Miyuki." His voice was soft, yet relentless and it almost made me shiver how he said my name. "Look at me."

He stepped towards me but I immediately jumped back, maintaining the distance between us, the distance I needed for my sanity. "I...I need some time to think," I muttered hoarsely and then turned around in the direction of the trees, leaving him standing there in the rain with my umbrella at his feet.

* * *

 **A/N:** Not too late this time, am I? So they finally KISSED! I was very excited to write this chapter, and I would really really love your feedback.

And I am really sorry for making Sasuke call Itachi 'nee-san' instead of nii-san. Lots of people pointed it out and I will be more careful in the future. Although, I am pretty forgetful and really prone to making silly mistakes here and there, (endless ward rounds do that to you) but please, put up with me.

Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews! It's so nice to read them... Never underestimate the power of small gestures, like leaving a review. It takes nothing, but it makes the writer happy.

 **-AnEveningMoth**


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER 21**

 _If I lay here,_

 _If I just lay here,_

 _Would you lie with me, and just forget the world?_

 _-Chasing cars, Snow Patrol_

* * *

Perceptive as ever, Itachi knew that I was confused and allowed me some time alone to sort out the conundrum in my mind. But he was only this patient for two weeks. That day, when I was returning after a lunch with Shikaku-sensei, Ryusei and Hana, I found him standing against a tree lining the cobbled-stone pathway, obviously waiting for me. His hands were in the pockets of his slacks and his eyes were unhurried as ever, which meant that he probably wouldn't let me escape so easily this time

My heart immediately jumped in my throat at the sight of him and I had half mind to scamper off again like a coward, but I forced myself to keep walking in his direction instead with legs that had suddenly gone all wobbly. I wondered why I was feeling so ludicrously self-conscious under his steady gaze. Was it because our relationship had changed now?

"So," he said once I was within a comfortable distance for a conversation. "How long were you going to run away this time?"

I ignored his question and went to lean on the other side of his tree, squinting my eyes against the placid, golden sunshine that sieved down from the canopy. Itachi waited patiently for me to respond. "Why did you do it?" I asked at last.

"Why, indeed," he said and although I couldn't see his face, I could imagine a tight, humorless grin over his lips. "Why do people do it?"

Several words ran in my mind at his question, like swarm of butterflies, the words that were too grand, too superfluous, too cringe-worthy, words I had never given much thought to before, being a kunoichi. What makes people kiss? Love... Commitment... Marriage?

I shivered and shook my head, discarding such naive, redundant ideas. Hormones?

"We are not people, Itachi," I said quietly. "We face retribution for everything we do. So, if you were just experimenting-"

"You think," he said in a steely tone, "that it was an experiment? Why would I experiment on you?"

I forced away a bout of irritation and reminded myself that I had to do it the mature way. "Because I am the only girl you really talk to," I pointed out bitterly. I knew that no matter how precocious he was, he was still a teenager with special urges...

There was a deathly silence on the other side which made me fidget apprehensively and long to see his eyes. "You think I kissed you," he said slowly, icily, "because it was convenient?"

I almost winced at the latent fury in his low, dangerous voice. "Then why did you do it?" I challenged. "Do you like me... romantically or something?"

"...I honestly don't know."

This was the first time he had ever admitted to not knowing something. He sounded so genuinely bewildered that I sighed. This was going to be hard.

"I was hoping you would enlighten me."

My eyes widened. "You were hoping," I stated with some incredulity, "that I would enlighten you as to why you... you kissed me? How do you expect me to know what goes in that brain of yours when-"

"You kissed me back," he said simply.

Despite myself, I blushed profusely at the blunt reminder. "No, I didn't!" I snapped.

"But you did," he insisted, smooth as ever. "You could have pushed me away but you didn't. You are a partner in crime; you have no right to act this way."

I opened my mouth to say something but snapped it shut. He was absolutely right, of course. If there was a shade even redder than red, my face had to be that color. I couldn't believe we were having this mortifyingly awkward conversation. "B-But... But you were the one who instigated it," I spluttered out. "Now stop putting the blame on me and take some responsibility for your actions, you idiot!"

Well, so much for doing it the mature way.

"Oh, I am willing to take responsibility," he said silkily, "but something tells me that you would not like it if I did."

I shivered at the barely concealed insinuations in the tenor of his voice. _What are you thinking, Itachi?_ I forced myself to swallow an urge to turn around to look at him, to touch his hand and flattened my hands against the tree bark instead, trying to summon all my resolve and willpower.

"It doesn't matter," I said at last. "I... We can't do this. You see it too, don't you? If we did, my ancestors are going to rise from their graves and strangle me to death... I can't betray them...and Obaa-san-"

Suddenly, he appeared right in front of me with his lightning-quick speed and the sight of his swirling sharingan sent a jolt of nervousness in my chest.

"What about what you want, Miyuki?"

For a while, I could only blink stupidly at the mesmerizing picture he painted, standing there in front of me in dappled sunlight, his midnight hair gently billowing in the wind and the wayward leaves fluttering all around him like wings of dragonflies. It wasn't fair at all, because whatever speech I had rehearsed so many times before had been wiped blank from my mind. Belatedly I realized that he was still waiting for an answer and forced myself to come back to my senses.

"I don't like you that way..."

My voice trailed off as he deliberately stepped closer to me. My toes curled at the heavy intensity in his crimson eyes and I backed into the tree, trying to evade the proximity that was sending sirens of warning in my mind. He stopped until his lips were just a hair's breadth away from mine.

"Say that again," he whispered.

Flustered as I was, I responded by bringing my sandal down on his feet and crushing it. Brutally. "I am being serious here!" I hissed, feeling vindictive satisfaction at the way his face contorted slightly into grimace of pain. "Stop playing with me. You are the Uchiha heir and I am the Fukuro heiress. We both have duties and our paths are different. We both know that whether we like it or not, we need to uphold the pride and honor of our clans and-"

"Such heavy talk of pride and honor," he said sardonically, "all because of one kiss?"

Something about his dismissive tone irked me. Was that only a kiss to him? Something done in a spur of moment? He looked blasé enough, actually, quite unperturbed, not at all flustered the way I was. Was I the only one ridiculous enough to get this much affected? Was I the only one getting attached?

Was I the only one who would get hurt later on?

"Go ahead and laugh," I snapped, giving his chest a rough shove and flushing scarlet with indignation. "Call me old-fashioned for all I care. It might be just a kiss to you, but it's not like that for me. We obviously have no future together-"

"What future?" he said wryly, leaning against the tree, his arm resting an inch away from my head. "You are right, Miyuki. We are not people. We cannot afford to talk about things like future like it is a given. We are shinobi. We are not known for long lifespans and our future is merely an illusion that can change in a blink of an eye. That's why before that happens, we need to _live_ , without regrets."

His words had casted a strange spell on me. I could feel the searing tendrils of his loneliness reaching for my heart, constricting it and as I stared helplessly into the tumultuous oceans of his now black eyes, I began to feel the ache of my own yearning bloom in my chest and flutter in my stomach. What was I thinking? I didn't have it in me to deny this person.

"Not fair," I whispered. "Such heavy talk of lifespans and regrets, all because of a single kiss?"

Because now I knew that it hadn't been only a kiss. He knew it too, for he smiled a little, and there was truimph in that smile of his. Because now we both knew that he had successfully managed to circumvent all the hurdles, all the questions I had thrown in his way, to reach my vulnerable soul, which he now held in his palm, and I had no choice left but to concede.

"I will ask again then, Miyuki," he said in a bold tone of someone who knew that he had already won. "What is it that you want?"

"...I don't mind," I found myself saying, much to my own disbelief. "If it is you."

"Rethink," he ordered, narrowing his eyes. "We are from the noble clans and our words are set in stone. So, do not say something like that, unless you mean it. You will not be able to take your words back later on."

 _You will not be able to back out._

"I told you," I said, this time more firmly, "if it's you, I don't mind. Although I will probably regret it much more... I am pretty sure when I am dying, when it is finally time for me to meet my ancestors, I will regret it more than anything else."

"You overreact," he said, bringing his hand to cup my cheek. "That is just foolish, Miyuki. When your death is imminent," his voice became more intimate as his thumb brushed tantalizingly against my bottom lip, "you regret all the things you never got the chance to do much more. You will not regret _this_ , I assure you."

I was tempted to ask what 'this' was but my lips seemed unable to form any coherent word. Against my will, my eyes fluttered close in anticipation. My heart was slamming against my chest and I wondered, with some mortification, if he could hear it. "You have an answer ready for everything, don't you?" I whispered.

He smirked. "Very much so, I am afraid."

"But you didn't answer my question," I said, tilting my head slightly to one side. "Why me?"

"Because," he whispered against my ear, "you can stop the time."

 _You can stop the time_

" _What_?"

"With you," he said, "only with you, I don't have to think about the future. That's why."

...

"So, are you two dating?" Hana asked, frowning a little. I knew she didn't approve of my liaisons with Itachi any more than I approved of hers with Shisui, the incorrigible playboy. "It is alright, I suppose... He is one of the elites, probably one of the strongest ninjas in Konoha to ever exist, and he doesn't seem like he plays around... But he is an Uchiha heir and so, you obviously would have many obligations if you associate yourself with him. It could be very demanding, and honestly, I think it will encumber you. You don't like being tied down."

"For the last time, Hana," I said through clenched teeth. "We are not dating. This word doesn't define... our relationship."

She rolled her eyes. "Then which magical word does?"

"I can't really say," I said slowly. "Our relation... is a little strange. He is not just my boyfriend."

He was more, or maybe less. He hadn't promised me anything and I had demanded nothing in return, but we were there for each other, for the capricious present at least.

"You know you think too deeply into things."

I sighed. "I know... But we can't possibly announce that we are 'together' anyway. If Obaa-san catches a whiff of it, she will chop me up like sushi and disembowel him and feed his entails to wolves."

…..

Gradually, I was learning more about him and he was showing me the sides of him he had always kept hidden from most people, including his own family, up till now. He was like a waxing moon, slowly, slowly divulging more of the dazzling brightness I always knew he had inside of him.

"Fukuro-san! Would you care to play shogi?" Shisui waved at me from where he sat over the porch at Uchiha compound, along with Itachi with a shogi board in between them.

"Shogi?"

Shikaku-sensei had, of course, challenged me to a shogi match countless times before. Although I had never won from him even once, I was still an unbeaten champion when it came to playing with Hana or Ryusei. But that didn't necessarily mean I was good at it although I should have been. Fukuros were once known for their superior intelligence, rivalled only by the Nara clan. But when Obaa-san had realized that she wasn't good at shogi (unlike her ancestors) she had dubbed this game as 'waste of time' and 'a useless indulgence for lazy, good-for-nothing sluggards.'

To my surprise, I did manage to beat Shisui after a long, intense match, even though I was at disadvantage with Itachi's piercing eyes boring into me, which had been quite distracting frankly.

"I was going easy on you," Shisui said, chuckling, "because that's a gallant thing to do."

My eyes narrowed.

"She doesn't appreciate chivalry, Shisui," Itachi said dryly. "She thinks it is belittling to her."

"Well, I was just kidding. You beat me fair and square which is quite a feat." He winked. "Itachi has never beaten me once in shogi."

I smiled. "You are lying, aren't you?"

"Of course not! Don't I look smart to you?"

I bit my tongue, deciding that it probably wasn't a very good idea to be blunt. I didn't even for once believe that Shisui could win in a shogi match against Itachi, the strategist extraordinaire. But still, I was curious to see how Itachi played and so I challenged him to a match.

Shisui just shook his head. "Are you sure?" he said to Itachi. "The way you play… You will be crushed, dear cousin and in doing so, you will bring disgrace to our clan."

Wait, did he think that I could actually win from the great Uchiha Itachi?

"We will see," Itachi said, smiling slightly.

"You are joking, aren't you?" I said to Shisui, frowning severely. This chivalry of his was going way too far.

"Not at all," he drawled. "Well, I would have stayed to see you get annihilated, O cousin of mine, but as it happens, I have my duties as a ninja to attend to. Old geezer Sandaime is calling me. Gotta go. See you both!"

Itachi didn't last long, much to my bewilderment.

"Checkmate," I said just after ten minutes or so, toying with my Knight before finally placing it down on the board. Itachi looked unfazed as ever by his embarrassing defeat, bored even, as if he had expected me to win. But the sense of elation I might have felt after literally crushing Itachi in the match was just not there. "You let me win," I stated, glaring at him darkly.

"Whatever made you think that, Miyuki?"

"You didn't even try to win! I know you went easy on me."

"On the contrary," Itachi said coolly, "I do not like going easy on people. I feel like it is dishonorable to them."

I was still unconvinced. "You are lying. Do you expect me to believe that you are dumb enough to lose from me after few lousy moves? Do they call you a genius for nothing? This is quite a pathetic demonstration of your 'off-the-chart intelligence', I tell you. Don't expect me to buy it… I know you are probably doing this to make me drop down my guard around you."

"Again, I would say you are too paranoid," he scoffed. "You won, Miyuki. You should believe in your capabilities more."

"I want a rematch," I interjected, holding his gaze. "This time, don't you dare go easy on me."

Next match was longer than the last one but I found myself getting more and more frustrated rather than overjoyed when I realized that I was winning yet again. And quite effortlessly at that. Perhaps Itachi really was this pathetic at shogi and he wasn't just feigning it. Well, he had to have some flaw... Except that he had been well-known as a prodigious genius.

After few more moves, however, I began to detect a pattern. I blinked, stunned into speechlessness. How come I hadn't noticed it before? "You... You are not protecting the King!" I spluttered out. "All this time, you were protecting your Pawns!"

Itachi lazily fingered his Queen and dragged it languorously across the board, forcing me to retreat. "So you finally noticed, huh?" he said. "Good for you."

"But that's not the rule!" I protested. "Could it be that you don't know? You got it all wrong... You are supposed to protect the King, not the pawns!"

"Says who?" he challenged.

I gaped. "Well, that's the rule. You are supposed to checkmate the opponent's King. Pawns are just... _expendable._ "

"All the more reason why I should protect them, then," he said coolly, holding me with his burning gaze. "Why must they be sacrificed for the King who is hiding behind the Queen, the Knights, the Rooks and the others?"

"But the king is...precious! That's why you must protect him, not sacrifice him for the pawns!"

"Well, even if the King is more precious to me," Itachi countered, leaning forward, "why must I not sacrifice him for what is right? Sacrifice is, after all, shinobi's greatest virtue."

He locked his impenitent eyes steadily with mine and I could see the challenge written on his face, the way he clenched his jaw slightly. He was daring me to object him.

"Fine," I conceded. "We will play by your rules this time. Let's see who can save more Pawns... It will be fair and square then."

Well, needless to say, this time I wasn't that lucky and I bit my tongue, bristling with annoyance when he finally 'checkmated' all my pawns, smirking slowly, with his face cupped in his hand.

Damn, when he really put his mind into protecting someone, he did, without fail.

No matter what the sacrifice.

...

We were spending more and more time together. It was still a bit surreal and sometimes downright incredible to see him next to me. As much as I liked roaming around in Konoha with him, I was always much too conscious of the people's eyes and also of Obaa-san finding out, through some grapevine, that I was spending so much of my time with Itachi. The gossip had tendency to spread in Konoha very quickly, especially when the Uchiha heir was involved. I was forever trying to evade those vengeful fan-girls and those simpering, gossipy middle-aged women who, if they saw me with Itachi even once, would scamper off to Obaa-san to tell her everything in juicy, fabricated details.

So we were content to just take long walks in the woods in the peaceful seclusion of the mountains.

We were never quite as physical as most of the teenage couples around us were and we were definitely not the fans of public display of affection, but we had our moments in those rare instants of intimacy. Sometimes, his fingers would graze mine subtly, seeking me out, almost as if making sure I was really there. In those rare times, his lips would touch mine in a painstakingly soft caress, his touch lingering, but no matter how chaste our kisses were, they would always leave me breathless with galaxies exploding in my head, which was of course, utterly embarrassing. But I would end up laughing anyway, because, well, I was happy.

Happier than I had ever been.

But not everything was sunshine and rainbows.

I knew there were times— despite how much he genuinely seemed to enjoy my company— nevertheless, there were times when he just wanted to be left alone. As I only understood this desire for solitude all too well, I never disturbed him when I would find him sitting at high places, just meditating and exuding this aura of imperviousness. Sometimes, we would sit side by side, for hours, not saying a word, at times holding hands and working out our own thoughts in silent contemplation. But no matter how peaceful and harmonious these silences were, I still wished that he would just confide in me. Although I knew that his mind was brilliant in many ways (he wasn't called precocious for nothing) and perhaps there were many things no one, not not even I, could really understand about him.

Meanwhile, we were training together as well, trying to perfect our combo-attack with his complex Katon jutsu combined with my Teishi Jikan. As always, he was enamored by my ability to stop the time and would gawk around at the still world with barely concealed amazement. "Wouldn't it be better if the world stayed like this?" I said once, sighing at the sheer beauty of my own jutsu.

"But it can't," he said, with a hint of cynicism. It was funny how quickly those three words brought me back to reality. I glared at him. A way to destroy the moment, I thought bitterly.

"It would be better if you learn to extend the limit of your Teishi Jikan though," he said. "You know, hold off the world for a bit longer."

"Alright," I said and folded my hands folding into several hand-signs. "I would hold off the world for as long as you like."

Looking back at it now, I was forever glad that he never said the gallant, prince-like words like _'I will always protect you'_ because I knew he was not my prince, by any means. Because all those fairytales of valiant, chivalrous ninja warriors the girls of Konoha grew up listening to were not true and no matter how strong you were and no matter how hard you had tried to train yourself, there were still times when you just couldn't win the war from the fate. There were still times when you wouldn't be able to save someone no matter how much you wanted to and there were still times when nobody came to protect you no matter how much you screamed out their names.

There were times when you could rely solely on yourself and I knew that Itachi was preparing me for it.

I wondered, though, what was written in his eyes, the reason behind the lapses in his never-ending patience when he overestimated my abilities and the ghost of disappointment that would flicker over his face, when I didn't measure up to his expectations. Sometimes he forced me to train so relentlessly that my muscles would protest by cramping whenever I went to bed in the night. "You are a slave-driver, you know that?" I grumbled. "Even my grandmother never trained me like this!"

"You are going to thank me for it someday," he said adamantly, "when you are staring death in the face…"

I scoffed.

"…and this training comes to rescue you," he finished.

I just smiled. "Because you can't always be there for me, right?"

 _Because even after everything, I feel, sometimes that you are planning to leave me. That you will just walk away from me one day no matter what I say to you and that's what you are preparing me for._

Sometimes, I could swear that he knew what I was thinking.

He smirked though. "You said you will protect me once, didn't you?" he said teasingly, reaching out to poke me in the head. "You can't possibly protect me if you are weaker than me, right?"

"Fine!" I said with renewed burst of chakra. "But it isn't like you would let me protect you anyways."

"Why do you want to be my knight anyway?"

"Because," I paused. "When I was little and we both were kids, I used to have these fantasies."

He raised his eyebrow. "F _antasies?_ "

I chose to ignore the hidden implications in his tone and continued. "Yes, _fantasies._ That you would be standing there on some ninja mission, cowering in fear, as the enemy advances upon you but then suddenly, I would appear there, between you and the enemy in a puff of smoke and I would kick their asses. Then you would look at me all starry-eyed and admit that you had always been weaker than me and that I was the strongest ninja in Konoha to ever exist."

To my surprise, he chuckled at that. "That is one absurd fantasy."

"True," I admitted, laughing with nostalgia. "I can't really think of you like that now. But I was just a kid at that time. I used to imagine you cowering, sniveling and groveling in dirt all the times in the face of my great, invincible power." I sighed. "But I guess those were just fantasies doomed never to come true."

"Other girls would have very _different_ fantasies about me," he said cockily.

Uh-oh, this conversation was steering into dangerous direction.

Well, I have had _those_ kinds of fantasies too. It was, of course, really hard to control my thoughts when sometimes, on our missions together, I would catch glimpses of his skin, his impeccably toned abs or the rippling muscles of his biceps... Honestly, they were enough to corrupt the mind of a saintly nun even. And it was even harder, when we were so physically close together, to stop myself from running my hands over the contours of his shoulders and back...

But I wasn't just going to admit that to him.

…

Much to my puzzlement, he was spending lot of time in the Fukuro library too, always under my watchful eyes, of course, because even though I had no reason to doubt him at this point, I was still a bit uncomfortable by the idea of leaving him alone in the library which held all the precious, legendry secrets of my clan.

Forever curious, I usually liked to browse through the endless arcades of memory scrolls whenever I was bored, but I was careful not to go anywhere near the few dangerous ones, from the minds of the people who were thoroughly depraved with questionable sanity. Sometimes, it would leave me staggered, _scarred_ , just how evil, almost satanic a human mind could be. Even Obaa-san had warned me to stay away from such memories (which had initially led me to be attracted them anyway in the first place, with disastrous results). I remembered staying awake countless nights, disturbed to no end after my encounter with such memories.

Itachi, however, had no trouble plunging into them. I didn't understand his motives at all; I wondered if his interest was purely clinical, a mere curiosity, or if something else was involved. The later probably was true because lately, he did seem a bit unhinged, even when he was his usual teasing self. I didn't like the way he would choose the darkest scrolls of all, as if he couldn't wait to fathom just how insane, deplorable and profound a human mind could be. His eyes were mostly unreadable but sometimes, I could see a flicker of determination enter those obsidian orbs after he was done his 'studying' for the day, a kind of icy resolve that was hard to shake, almost as if he was planning to do something drastic... Sometimes, he would grow completely serene after these sessions were over and would sit there, staring into space with a strange cloud of tranquility over him. His composed face sometimes reminded me of an ivory-carved statue I had seen of Uchiha Madara once. At those times, I was almost scared of him.

"Um, you probably don't want to see this memory," I said to him in a grave voice once. "It's not a very pretty sight."

He stilled in the process of making a releasing hand-sign and raised an eyebrow at me. "Why?"

"This man was an absolute lunatic," I said darkly. "He killed his _parents_ , his own mother who gave birth to him and then he had an audacity to trap such horrid memory in the memory-preserving scroll for everyone to see, probably to show off... I don't think anything could be sicker than this. Seriously, if he was alive, I would have him quartered and feed his entails to—"

"It's fine," Itachi interrupted hastily. "Do you know why he killed his mother though?"

"Does that even matter?" I snapped. "There is no excuse for killing one's parents, is there?"

Suddenly, Itachi's eyes grew cold. "No," he said, rolling his words strangely over his tongue. "I suppose there isn't. He deserves to be quartered and his entails should definitely be fed to…?"

"The wolves."

Itachi just smirked, completed the hand-seal and leapt into the memory before I could stop him.

Muttering expletives under my breath, I plunged into my own memory, trying to distract myself from thinking about Itachi. I seriously needed some other topic to dwell on these days; it was almost as if Itachi was consuming me, and in a very unhealthy, almost toxic way. But this specific memory I had chosen was probably not a good idea. I was almost relieved when Itachi pulled me out of it few minutes later. "You looked… pained," he said, his eyes showing hint of concern, his arm supporting my shoulders. "What did you see?"

"War," I whispered, blinking up at the cobwebs that lined the ancient ceilings of the library. "They… they mutilated the girl's parents right before her eyes. I wonder… if my own parents…" I didn't complete the sentence and wrapped my arms around my knees instead.

His eyes grew heavier and darker. "I wonder…" he said, "what would you do if there was to be a war again."

I jerked away from his arm and latched my eyes with his, horror obviously etched over my face. "What are you saying?" I asked hoarsely. "Is there… _Are we going to have a war_?"

"That was merely a question of curiosity, Miyuki," he said coolly but I could see the evasion in his onyx eyes. Also, I didn't miss the way his hand curled into a fist, tendons tensing under the tanned skin.

"Why would you bring it up out of blue?" I hissed, pinning him down with my glower. "What are you hiding? Start talking this instant or you are never going to set foot in this library again."

"I am rather good at infiltrations," he said, grinning challengingly.

"We are in the same team, _captain,_ " I drawled with some confidence. "I have studied you. I know how you work by now… You won't be able to infiltrate so easily on my watch."

"That may be true, however," he smiled, "I am careful not to give away all my tricks, even to my own comrades."

"Then I will tell Obaa-san that you have been sneaking in her precious library!"

"Ouch," he said dryly. "That's mean. You wouldn't be heartless enough to subject me to something that now, would you?"

I sighed. "Just tell me what made you say it."

"I was… just curious," he said. "I was saying it hypothetically, of course. Wars and all its implications... We have been lucky that we are living in a rather peaceful era, are we not?"

"Of course," I said emphatically. "I think it would be really cruel, if this peace was to end, because that's what my parents sacrificed their lives for. So many innocent people will suffer. Millions will die. People spend decades to build their lives… Years and years of hard work, and all will be destroyed, reduced to ashes, within a second. It's not fair at all. War is… not an option."

"War is not an option," he repeated, almost as if to himself and then a peculiar, bone-tingling silence shrouded us like an evening mist. I realized that his eyes were far away from the confines of the library. He was no longer there with me.

Of course, we were both really small back then during the third shinobi war but the stories of sacrifice and gore were still there, fresh and unforgettable. The Konoha's soil was still damp and fertile from all the blood spilled and only from the seeds of sacrifice, the forest of peace had grown once again. War definitely was not an option, after all.

So, why were Itachi's eyes so cold, so… ominous, like calm before the storm?

"Itachi?" I whispered tentatively, almost fearfully, touching his sleeve.

"Don't worry," he vowed, still looking away, "I will make it so that you will never have to see a war in your lifetime."

There was ferocity in his voice that I had never heard before and something welled up in my chest. Before I knew it, I found myself reaching out for him. His smelled of fire and sun, as if he had been training before he had come here and I inhaled deeply in the promise he exuded. But then I realized that his body was still completely rigid in my embrace and his eyes were still unaffected and inconceivably cold.

Confused, I was about to pull away but then he heaved a soft sigh. His arms wrapped themselves around me and his face came to rest in the crook of my neck. His lips hovered over my ear for an infinitesimal moment and he whispered something so softly that it might have been a rustle of wind against the leaves.

 _Forgive me for what I am about to do._

 _..._

"Doesn't it scare you?" I asked him once.

We were lying over a small hillock under the vast black velvet of the starry sky, surrounded by the darkling mountains. He was idly tracing the pattern those faint, branching veins made over my wrist by the starlight, as if trying to decipher what the blood thrumming in them was saying.

"Hmm?" he said distractedly.

"You know, being like this," I said. "I feel it sometimes, that I am so happy right now, that I will have to lose something big sooner or later to pay for this."

His fingers stilled their ministrations.

"Why do you think that?"

I shrugged. "Isn't it always like that?"

"Is it?"

"You were the one who first said that. Remember? You said that if someone is happy, it means somewhere someone else is suffering because of it. I keep imagining us, maybe years in the future. What if the two of us, few years from now, would have to suffer because of the happiness we have now?"

 _Because happiness is always so ephemeral, Itachi, especially ours. You know it too, don't you?_

"So be it," he said.

His words sent a chill slithering down my back. There was boldness, _fearlessness_ in those three words, something which was so Itachi-like, that it made me excited. And it made me afraid.

He noticed it too, because fingers tightened around my wrist, almost as if he was preventing me from running away. He lifted my hand and brought it against his mouth, tracing the veins there with his lips now, making me tremble.

"I don't care," he said. "I will not regret what time we have now, even if I am going to hell for it someday."

 _Because you can stop the time._

Because we were suspended in this timelessness, a surreal dream, and this dream had no place in reality anyway. Or perhaps the thing called reality was actually just an elaborate dream and what we were having at that moment was much more powerful and real than those hundred realities. Perhaps, this moment was a tiny speck, frozen somewhere in time, and that was where we existed. In the reflections, not in the reality.

"Don't think about the future," he said, kissing the top of my hand. "Don't be scared. I am here with you now. Just let it be."

 _I am here with you now._

I smiled, a secret smile, which I hoped would remain a secret because such smiles were always connected to those wistful tears in my eyes. Sometimes, some moments were so beautiful, that they made you cry.

 _Just let it be._

You had to just let them be.

"Okay," I said.

* * *

 **A/N:** Well, the massacre is just around the corner now. You guys can sense it too, right? It is going to get darker soon... You have been warned. :-)

Thank you, for reading yet again. And Gold-wrapped thanks to all those who reviewed! Really, you guys put a smile on my face. ㈴2

 **~AnEveningMoth**


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER # 22**

" _I know no other way than this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close when I fall asleep."_

 _~Pablo Neruda_

* * *

I linked together my hands into several hand-signs and closed my eyes. Done with the seal, I knitted senbons in the spaces between my fingers. _Focus_ , I told myself, inhaling deeply in the heady, apple-scented air of the orchards. A moment later I heard several _thumps_ as about twenty apples rained down on the thick carpet of grass.

"Not bad," drawled the familiar voice. "You are able to tell the shapes of the objects only through your chakra-pulses without even having to use your eyes. An improvement, I must admit."

How long had he been here? Trying to ignore the effect of his unprecedented appearance on my heart, I continued to coolly gather the fallen apples into straw basket, making sure to leave no footprints in the grass.

"However I must ask you," he continued pleasantly, "are you, by any chance, _stealing_ those apples from Uchiha property?"

I took a crisp, juicy bite from one of the apples. "Yeah," I said, finally turning around to face him with an unrepentant smile. "Yeah, I am, in fact guilty of committing a capital offense; stealing from the Police Force. Are you going to send me to prison now, Itachi?"

A lazy, boyish smirk he gave me made me forget chewing and accidentally bite my own tongue. "I could..." he said slowly.

"Are you forgetting that these orchards used to be the Fukuro property once before your clan decided to steal them from us?" I trotted over to where he stood leaning against one of the apple trees, his arms bound across his chest. "So, I am just taking back what was supposed to be mine." I didn't know why his piercing onyx eyes riveted on me from under his longish bangs were making me nervous. "Want some?" I asked, just to dispel the charm his mere presence was casting in the air.

He deliberately ignored the outstretched basket full of fresh, untouched apples I was offering to him and reached instead for the half-bitten apple in my other hand. His fingers wrapped around my wrist, steadying my hand as took a bite, his lips brushing against my finger slightly as he did so, making me shiver.

I knew it shouldn't make me blush after all this time, but just like always, I felt a rush of heat in my cheeks and my ears. Damn him. Why was it only me getting flustered all the times? Damn him to hell!

"Sweet," he said.

"I thought I cured you of your phobia of eating sweet things," I grumbled. "And besides, I don't think Mikoto-san raised you to be a picky about food."

"Look who is talking" he said dryly, probably in reference to my aversion to cabbages. He let go of my wrist. "I am just not very hungry at the moment."

I stared at the apple he had bitten into before mentally shrugging and taking a bite from there. It felt much more intimate than it was supposed to and I hoped that I wasn't blushing yet again. "Let's leave," I said, "before that baldy comes. I don't want to get caught stealing apples from his orchard..."

"Too late," he said, nodding over my shoulder. "He is already here."

Trying to ignore the wave of panic, I turned around to find myself looking at the said baldy in face. Another constipated Uchiha in his fifties with a large shiny head was standing there in front of the apple tree grove. Judging from the way he was glaring down at me with utter contempt, I could tell that he had probably heard me calling him baldy. Crap. Crap. Crap. Why hadn't Itachi warned me? Surely he knew... That _demon_!

"Oji-sama," Itachi greeted respectfully although he didn't bow the way ordinary youngsters were expected to. Apparently Uchiha heirs didn't bow, even to their elders.

I threw Itachi surreptitious glare promising lethal consequences before remembering my manners and bowing down jerkily. "Uchiha-sama."

"You again!" he bellowed. "You little thief! I know you have been stealing apples from my orchards for a long time now. Do not make the mistake of assuming that I do not know just because I was ignoring it; I have already caught you red-handed. What have you got to say about yourself now, huh?"

For a while I didn't say anything. I could feel Itachi's eyes on me and I could tell that he was really amused. _What will you do now,_ he seemed to be saying with his twinkly eyes. That... that _spawn of Satan!_

"I have only one thing to say," I said, clearing my throat. "These apples you grow are really delicious."

"You impertinent-"

"But this soil needs more magnesium fertilizer," I continued spunkily. "See the leaves? They are turning all yellow and brittle. The soil here lacks in many nutrients, you see. But of course, you didn't know that when you stole these lands from us, did you?"

Beside me, I could almost feel Itachi smirking. He was obviously getting highly entertained. The Uchiha elder's face however turned scarlet and he looked like he was going to pop a vessel or two. "Take these apples," he said, "and get lost. I do not want to see you in the premises of my orchard ever again, you hear me? And you Itachi. What, may I ask, are you doing, spending all your time with low-lives like her? When are you going to get out of your rebellious phase? Your company reflects your status. Need I remind you that you are the Uchiha heir and that your blood is purer than any of us?"

Low-life.

He had called me a low-life! I could feel the familiar rage thrumming in my veins and I balled my fists, getting ready for a retort that would surely smack this baldy's old, miserable bones into oblivion. But then I noticed the sudden dark aura, like a thunder-cloud, climbing over Itachi.

He was angry. What's more, under his dark bangs, his eyes had turned blood-red and that seemed to happen only when Uchihas were unhinged and trying to make a point by intimidating someone. His anger wasn't like the thunder-cloud that roared; it was more dangerous, like an iceberg that appears suddenly and soundlessly in the middle of the night and swallows the entire ship within a second.

"The clan," he said coldly, menacingly, "the blood... What does any of this matter? In the end, all of us are going to our graves, aren't we? Did you think," his eyes narrowed, "that your bones wouldn't rot when you are dead just because your blood is more elite than others?"

Neither baldy nor I missed the undertone of threat in his voice.

"It-Itachi," stuttered the baldy, trying to sound severe but I could tell by the way his eyebrows were twitching that he was in reality scared of Itachi. "Your contempt for your own clan keeps on growing. Is your power getting to your head? What have you gotten in your mind, boy?"

Even as he said this, he glared at me as if I was the one stuffing Itachi's ears with nonsense and turning him against his own clan.

"Nothing," said Itachi and the sinister aura around him shifted slightly, thankfully so that I could breathe again. He could be terrifying when he wanted to be and I couldn't imagine what I would have done if this anger of his was directed at me. He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned to walk away. Not knowing what to do, I followed after him.

"Remember, Itachi," said the baldy, "blood is always thicker than water. We are your family, boy..."

Itachi stopped, although he didn't turn around.

"And your duty is to us. Do not miss the meeting tonight."

"That was interesting," I said when we were well away from those blasted orchards. Itachi, who had been walking briskly all this time without even acknowledging me, stopped and finally turned to look at me. He touched the nape of his neck with his hand, almost as if he was embarrassed.

"I... forgive me," he said. "I didn't mean to-"

"No," I interrupted hastily and then I burst into laughter, much to his astonishment. "All this time," I chortled, resting my hands on my knees, "his face when you said that... it was priceless! I was waiting for someone to show him his place!"

He just stared at me as if I had lost my mind.

"And you..." I said, straightening up, "you are really wise, Itachi. Did anyone ever tell you that? Really, really wise."

...

"Miyuki," Ryusei said in a long-suffering voice. "What are we doing here?"

"Shh. Be quiet and conceal your chakra, you idiot!" I hissed, pinching his arm until he winced with pain. "They are very perceptive. They are going to catch us."

"Miyuki," he said again in a very rational voice. "What, may I ask, are we doing in Uchiha's territory, in the _manhole_ of Naka shrine?"

"Shut up!" I whispered harshly. "We are here because this is where Uchihas hold their secret meetings. And this territory is not technically Uchiha's. They stole Naka shrine from the Fukuro clan when they invaded our lands, those pillagers."

"But that doesn't explain why we are here right now!"

"Are you really that dumb? I thought it was just the Hyuuga thing."

"I am leaving."

"Of course, we are here to spy on them, you fool. The secret meeting is going to be held anytime now."

"Why me?" he grumbled.

"Because you are an ANBU member and Hana isn't good at stealth or infiltrations. And I couldn't do this alone."

"I am leaving," he repeated firmly. "I will not be forced to take part in this absurdity. You can spy on them yourself to your heart's content. Good day!" With that, he whirled around and was in the process of running away when I grabbed him by his collar.

"Uchihas are your rivals, aren't they? I am pretty sure they are up to no good… And aren't you innately curious about what Uchihas discuss in their secret meetings? Maybe you will be able to pick up something that helps Hyuuga clan greatly—"

"Hyuugas don't need to reduce themselves to spying on Uchihas in order to be stronger," he said primly. "And besides, if my father or Captain found out that I have been caught doing something as uncouth and unscrupulous—"

"Shh, they are here," I whispered. "Now stop whining. You can leave after the meeting is over."

"But there are cockroaches here!" He shuddered. "I think one is crawling up my leg and—"

"Shut up!"

Making sure that my complex camouflage jutsu was in place, I stood on the tip-toe and peeked in from a small opening that gave me a slight view of the large, underground chamber where Uchihas held their meetings. Of course, it had taken me years to find out that this was indeed where Uchihas gathered together to plot and scheme—being neighbors to Uchihas and an ANBU member did have its advantages.

Now this chamber was lit up gloomily by torch-lights and several Uchihas had gathered, their faces turned towards their leader, Lord Fugaku Uchiha. He was definitely not as imposing or aristocratic-looking as Lord Hiashi of the Hyuuga clan and frankly, he seemed a bit haggard and aged beyond his years. But his eyes were sharp and intent as ever.

The boring formalities dragged on for a while and I just sat there, a bit impatiently. Few insults were hurled here and there and few crabby-looking elders were criticizing Fugaku for being too lenient on his firstborn. "He is an heir, Fugaku!" one of the elders with stringent lips and a bald head as shiny as duck's egg grumbled. "I say you are too lax. You need iron-fist to deal with rascals like him… Why, in my times, the wayward children were punished harshly if they so much as dared to stray an inch from their duties. I remember how your own father was hung upside down for days and lashed when he skipped meetings—"

"I apologize for my son's errant behavior," Fugaku said chillingly. "Hokage has been working him really hard and it is taking a toll on him."

"But this has happened too many times before for us to just ignore it!" another elder bellowed. "And look," he sneered, "the precious prodigy has skipped the meeting yet again today. Fugaku, I am afraid we cannot let this pass…"

"When Itachi returns," Fugaku said coldly, "I will see to it that he is punished sufficiently, as it is _my duty_ as the leader of the Uchiha clan."

Nobody could dare to disregard his authority after this proclamation but the belligerent elders glared daggers at him anyway, their Sharingans swirling.

"Let's proceed to more important matters at hand," Fugaku continued coolly, "but before that, we need to solicitously greet our guests who are so keen to join us that they are hiding in the manhole at this very moment…"

" _Shit,"_ Ryusei moaned, clutching my arm tightly.

"Come out, Fukuro Miyuki, Hyuuga Ryusei."

I briefly considered just making a run for it but since he already knew our names and location, it meant that I would have to deal with him anyhow. Better now. So with trembling legs, we made our way out of the manhole and came to stand in front of the chamber full of leering Uchihas who eyed us covetously like sharks that haven't had chance to eat anything in days.

"Are you spies sent by Hokage?" the duck-egg-head elder inquired snidely.

I was almost tempted say yes if it would save me from this humiliation. "No," I said dully. "We came on our own accord."

"Aren't you Hyuuga Ryusei?" Fugaku asked Ryusei severely. "I am sure Hiashi-sama will be very pleased to hear that you have been caught spying on us, unless of course, he had himself sent you both to spy on us in the first place."

"Leave Ryusei out of this!" I hissed, standing in front of him protectively. "He had nothing to do with any of this! I was the one who forced him to come with me. He is innocent; just let him go."

"That's not tr-" Ryusei started but Fugaku cut him off.

"Yes, Fukuro Miyuki," he drawled. "I am pretty sure you are the only culprit here. I know you have been sneaking around Uchiha compound a lot lately."

"And she is an ANBU member, isn't she?" Duck-egg-head elder spat. "That definitely means that Hokage sent her here. Isn't this a blatant breach of treaty? Hokage had already allowed us complete autonomy in our affairs... Is he planning to interfere now?"

"I told you," I hissed, gritting my teeth. "Hokage had nothing to do with it. I was just... curious."

"Curious?" Fugaku seethed. "You intend to tell me that you were spying on us because you were curious?"

"Well, well, well," drawled another elder. "Haven't you heard before? Curiosity killed the cat."

"I will ask again," Fugaku intoned. "Who sent you here? Tell me the truth."

"I told you, nobody sent me here!" I said vehemently. "I came here because I hold vendetta against the Uchiha clan. I have reasons to believe that you killed my Uncle, Daiichi Fukuro."

A deathly silence filled the chamber.

I locked my eyes defiantly with Fugaku Uchiha, and a wave of terrible revulsion rushed over me, hatred so strong that I couldn't help pulling my lips back into a snarl. I had realized that all the Uchihas were glaring at me with their glowing Sharingans and it was a bit daunting to find all their baleful eyes directed at me but I refused to show any signs of weakness.

"I see," Fugaku said at last. "I thought I had already established it with Lady Fukuro, your grandmother that Uchiha clan had no hand in your uncle's death. It was an unfortunate incident caused by the nine-tail fox and nothing more."

"We have no need to prove our innocence, Fugaku," said an elder maliciously. "This girl is a trespasser and there is only one way to deal with the spies and trespassers. We have every right."

At this, three Uchihas stepped forward, their Sharingans swirling with malice. Judging by the look in their eyes, they obviously intended to exterminate us.

I stepped back with Ryusei and my hand shot towards my ninja gear, my eyes riveted warily on the feet of the three Uchihas lest they decided to use genjutsu on me. Ryusei had already unleashed his Byakugan.

But before any of us could make a move, Itachi suddenly appeared between us and the three Uchihas. Looking at his familiar form like this, I realized how scared I actually had been by the prospect of facing so many Uchihas with Sharingans all alone with only Ryusei on my side.

"Captain," Ryusei croaked out in relief.

"Itachi!" Fugaku thundered. "Where have you been? I told you before, I do not tolerate tardiness."

"I was merely carrying out my duties," Itachi replied icily. "I apologize for the hold-up."

"Have you forgotten all about your duties as an Uchiha heir?" Fugaku chastised severely. "That should be your priority."

"I will be careful next time," Itachi intoned. "Also, I have a proposition to make, father."

Fugaku's tired eyes narrowed. "What proposition?" he demanded warily.

"You will release these two," Itachi said firmly, jerking his chin in our direction. "You will let them go unharmed."

"Let them go unharmed?" The Duck-egg-head elder roared. "Have you forgotten where your loyalties lie, you ungrateful brat? These two scoundrels have been spying on us!"

"Have they heard anything of importance?" Itachi inquired coolly.

"You are a fool if you think we would let them hear something of importance!"

"Very well," Itachi said. "Then you have no right to detain them if they know nothing."

"But that's not how it works! Have you sunk so low in doing the Hokage's bidding, you lapdog, that you have forgotten even-"

"These two are ANBU members under Hokage's wing," Itachi interrupted, not at all perturbed by being called a lapdog. "Moreover, they have been assigned to _my_ squad. I am afraid I cannot let you incarcerate these two. You have no authority."

I could see the tension in Itachi's shoulders and implacable ice in his voice. Though he seemed relatively composed on the surface, I could sense vengeful fury brewing underneath and it made my toes curl. He reminded me of a crouching tiger just before the attack.

"We have no authority!" The elder bit out. "Who the hell are you to say this to us? You are not a leader yet!"

"That's enough!" Fugaku's sharp, menacing voice rang out in the chamber like a whip. He turned towards us. "I will let you two go unharmed, only this time, because I remember that you once saved my second-born son's life. I do not forget such things, but next time, if I see you skulking around here, make no mistake, you will be dealt with. Harshly."

I did my best to glower at him with as much venom as I could muster in my eyes. If the looks could kill, he would have already shriveled up to ashes by now. It was only my promise to Itachi that day that kept me from surrendering to my carnal desire to harm this killer of my uncle in some way.

"Itachi," he said, ignoring my vengeful glare. "Show these two of our guests out."

Itachi wordlessly led us to the gates of Uchiha compound and though his eyes betrayed nothing, I could tell that something was building in there, waiting to be unleashed, on me.

"Well, I will just leave then," Ryusei said sheepishly, scratching the back of his hair. "I am sorry, captain. I didn't mean to eavesdrop on-"

"You don't need to apologize," Itachi said curtly. "At this point, I know quite well who the mastermind was."

Uh-oh.

"Right," Ryusei chuckled nervously and threw me a rueful look before he bolted off.

I slapped my forehead. "I just remembered I have to cover Obaa-san's herbal plants before it rains. Sorry, but this is goodbye... _Captain._ Good luck for the meeting," I added with a fake, placating smile and was about to scamper after Ryusei when Itachi grabbed me by wrist in a punishing grip.

"You," he clipped as he started dragging me somewhere, "are coming with me."

"But don't you have a meeting to attend?" I demanded, desperate as I was to evade this interrogation at all costs.

"That can wait."

"Are you sure?" I asked hesitantly as he led me towards the familiar oak grove just outside the Nisshoku shrine. "They didn't seem all that happy about you ditching the meeting. Next time, they might hang you upside down and whip you if-"

He gave my wrist a jerk until I was facing him and there was no way for me to escape his smoldering eyes. "What the hell," he growled, "was that?"

I had never seen him this blatantly angry in a while and it disconcerted me a bit. Nevertheless, my eyes immediately filled with defiance and I met his glare unflinchingly. "It's because you never tell me anything anyway!" I snarled. "What else am I supposed to do?"

"I told you," he said dangerously, gritting his teeth, "to stay away from Uchihas."

"And you think that just because you tell me to do something, I will do it without questioning?" I asked incredulously. "It doesn't work that way, Uchiha. I will spy on whoever the hell I want to."

He sighed and reached for the hair at the nape of his neck— sign of exasperation. "Nobody," he said coldly, " _nobody_ in their right mind would dare to spy on _my_ clan. You fail to realize how much danger you put yourself in today."

"I had it under-control! You didn't have to come and play the hero—"

"You had it under-control?" His glare was sharp as spikes of a mace. "Did you, perhaps, want to go down the same way as your uncle?"

My face jerked up in outrage and the familiar feelings of vengefulness in my fingertips were back. "Is that how they killed him...?" I swallowed. "So you turn a blind eye to all your father's crimes and expect me to the same?"

"I am not blind," he said rather darkly this time, with slow emphasis on each syllable. "I don't intend to do nothing. Leave this one to me, Fukuro."

There was a strange, black fire in his orbs but behind that, if I looked hard enough, I could see a gleam of raw sincerity. I immediately deflated and took a deep breath to steady myself. "Fine," I said grudgingly. "I trust you."

"Then do not ever go near Naka shrine again," he said, turning around. Before walking away though, he looked over his shoulder significantly, his eyes frigid. "Consider this a warning."

Something about his domineering, ANBU-captain tone of voice irked me. "I let you snoop around in Fukuro library, don't I?" I seethed. "Why won't you let me do the same?"

"Because," he said tonelessly, "it's not the same thing."

"Not the same thing?" I bit out. There was a sliver of condescension in his voice which seemed to belittle my clan, and I didn't like it one bit. "Don't forget you people stole Naka shrine from us!"

"Miyuki," he said wearily. "Let's not bicker about our ancestors. Can we not do this the mature way?"

So here he was, bent on treating me in that deplorable way yet again, as if he was an astute adult and I was some kind of silly, gullible hatchling who had no idea how the world worked. It made me want to throttle him, but I guessed it wouldn't be very 'mature' of me. "Look." I tried to keep my voice as reasonable as possible. "You cannot just expect me to sit quietly and do nothing when you are like this."

"Like what?"

"Like what?" I repeated incredulously. "It's like something is slowly eating you up from inside... I hate feeling like this, so helpless... like if I didn't find out what it is soon, it would be too late and..."

My hands balled into fists and I looked down at my sandaled feet, not wanting to say the words because then it would be too real. In two strides, Itachi had covered the distance between us and now stood toe-to-toe to me. "And?" he prompted.

"Something bad will happen," I whispered, squaring my shoulders to shake off a chill. "Something dark. Something black. I feel it all the times... It's coming."

Itachi didn't say anything for a while and just continued to appraise me with those inscrutable eyes that seemed to hide things in their profound depths I dared not speculate over. But I could tell that he had finally realized that nothing he could ever say had power to deter me now. "You are too smart for your own good," he said wryly and I stiffened because I could tell that it wasn't meant as a compliment. "Perhaps… it would be better if we just stayed away from each other from now on."

I immediately lifted my sandaled foot, but he was quicker this time and stepped away in one fluid motion before I could viciously crush his foot again. I proceeded to stamp furiously over the tufts of clovers growing there and glared up at him. Angry though I was at him, I was more furious at myself. Was it all one-sided? Was I the only one getting attached? Is that why he could say such things so... so casually?

"You were the one who said you wanted to be with me regardless of what the future held!"

"But we ultimately cannot ignore the future," he said quietly.

"I told you I don't care about the future!" I hissed, breathing hard.

"Really?" He smirked without any real humor. "What if something that isn't even in your wildest imaginations happens?"

 _"What?"_

"Tell me something." His eyes grew hazier, more intimate and his voice softened a tenor as he leaned closer to me again, his breath caressing the shell of my ear.

"What would you do," he said silkily, "if _I_ became your worst nightmare one day? Would you still want to be with me?"

Perplexed and baffled as I was by his words, I reached up to fist the sleeve of his shirt but instead of pushing him away, I pulled him closer so that he was looking directly into my eyes, so that he had nowhere to escape to, because one way or another, I knew that if I was to lose him, that would be my real nightmare.

"You can never be my nightmare," I said quietly, fiercely.

"You cannot see it now," he said and his long, slender fingers curled around my fist, "because you do not want to see it. You see an image of me, and you want to keep clinging to that kind image that may very well be an illusion. But I must warn you; appearances are always deceiving."

"Not you," I whispered, shaking my head with some conviction, "You will never deceive me. I know it."

He gave me a cold smile. "Maybe a time will come," he went on in that dark, alluring voice of his, "when you will regret ever having trusted me."

"I will never regret-"

"You will pray," he continued, " _desperately_ , that it is not real, that it is just a bad dream. You will hope that you only have to open your eyes, and everything will be alright. But it won't be. It will never be. Nothing will ever be the same again."

 _Nothing will ever be the same again._

"Itachi," I whispered, shaking away the waves of foreboding washing over me. "Wh-Where did you learn to talk like that? Are you drunk? Bipolar?"

But he continued to just stare at me coldly until I could no longer recognize the Itachi I had always known. Dread swelled in my heart like pyre's smoke. This was the Itachi who could slay ten people without batting an eye, not the kind Itachi who trained with me in the mountains and laughed at my jokes.

After a long, agonizing moment, however, he dipped his head down and sighed. "I apologize for scaring you," he said, all the gravity in his eyes suddenly dissipating. He reached for my face, this time ruefully, but I viciously slapped his hand away.

"Is that what you are doing?" I snapped, glaring at him. "Trying to scare me off? Well, it isn't going to work. I am warning you; I can be your worst nightmare too. Don't try to run from me. Since when did the great Uchiha Itachi become a coward?"

He blinked once, as if he wasn't sure what his ears were hearing and then he smiled, this time with genuine amusement. Relief flooded into me.

 _He's back._

"Fine then," he said, "you win this one. There was one other thing I meant to say to you."

"What other thing?"

"How could you be so incompetent?" he said chidingly.

"…"

"You are an ANBU member, are you not? And in my squad, at that. How could you allow yourself to get caught during something as simple as spying?"

"I... underestimated your father," I admitted, finally finding my voice. "But don't worry. It won't happen next time."

"There will be no next time."

Despite myself, I smiled. "We will see."

...

Itachi had always been a very vigilant sort of person and his guard was always up. So it took me by surprise whenever he allowed himself to fall sleep so easily and so soundly in my presence. In last few months, he seemed to have aged in years and even when he was his usual teasing self, there was this vast blue glacier inside of him that showed no signs of melting. I could tell that whatever was going on with his clan or with Hokage and the Council was _hounding_ him.

But it was so peaceful up here in these lonely mountains, as if no one could possibly find us here. Only in this place, that aggravating world of Konoha didn't exist. I would sit there just meditating or listening to the songs of chirpy skylarks and nightjars that flitted from branch to branch and eyed us curiously. Sometimes, I would stare at Itachi's beautiful, serene face while he slept, his hair so dark and fine as they fell over the strong planes of his forehead.

Other times, I would see his eyeballs move rapidly under the delicate membrane of his eyelids, as if he was trapped in some inescapable limbo, fighting some monster in the hidden realm only he could see. His eyebrows would pinch together in a frown and sweat would glisten over his temples. I would place my palm over his forehead and brush away his damp hair soothingly, as if this simple gesture could ease some of his tremendous pain.

"Wake up," I whispered to him once when it got too bad, gently coaxing him into the world that was probably as terrible to him as his nightmares.

The shutters of his eyelids lifted immediately to reveal the swirling sharingan, his tomoes spinning wildly. His hand unconsciously lunged for my throat. "It's me!" I said hastily, uncurling his fingers from my neck and guiding his hand to my warm laps. "You were just having a nightmare. It is over now."

But I knew it wasn't over.

Relief flickered over his face and his eyes melted back into black. Those irises searched my face for a long time, as if looking for something desperately, something I knew I couldn't give to him. He finally buried his perspiring face into his hand then, hiding his eyes from me. His other hand was unclenching and clenching in my laps with indecision and then he took a deep, shuddering breath before lapsing back into his usual stoicism.

"So, you are not going to tell me, are you?" I asked sadly, squeezing his hand for emphasis.

"No," he said offhandedly. "There is no point in asking me again and again. I have no intentions of yielding."

"I will go and ask Shisui-san then," I threatened. "At least he isn't as stubborn as you are."

"Be my guest. But he won't tell you anything either."

"Because I am not an Uchiha?"

"Right."

" _Uchihas_." I glared. "I am getting really sick of this word, you know."

A small, acerbic smile graced his lips. "That makes the two of us, at least."

"Why though?" I said carefully. "It's your own clan. Why are you getting sick of your own clan?"

"They are too… weak."

" _Weak?_ " I said incredulously. "What do you mean by that? Stupid, yes. Barbaric, yes. Assholes, yes. Hell, I can think of thousand such words for them, but nobody in their right mind would call Uchihas weak."

Silence.

"What's wrong?"

He chose not to reply and continue to glower at the feathery plumes of grass growing all around us. I tried to gauge the dark, baleful expressions in his eyes. There was an insurgent maelstrom hidden in there, deep in those fathomless depths, latent right now but definitely there. I knew it would come to surface one day and I was afraid of that time... Was it going to end in utter chaos? No matter how hard he was trying to hide it and keep me in the dark, I knew I was going to get caught in a tide.

"You won't tell me anything," I whispered, staring down at our entwined hands, at the way his fingers were interwoven firmly, almost desperately into mine, as if I was a safe harbor he was anchoring himself to. And yet… "You don't trust me, is that it?"

With an exasperated sigh, he tried to retract his hand but I held on fast. "It has nothing to do with you."

"It does," I contradicted firmly.

"Why?"

"Because…" Suddenly, I was unable to answer. I swallowed and my eyes flickered elsewhere, over the colorful array of the round rocks that lined the river, over the fringe of trees, everywhere but him. He would have none of that. He knuckles pressed under my chin as he tilted my face up so that I was forced to look at his inexorable eyes. "I asked you something; why?" he reiterated.

"You know."

"No, I don't know."

"Because..." I whispered, "You are a family."

To my surprise, his eyes remained impassive as ever. He smirked and I didn't miss the hint of derision in it. "What, is that a proposal, Miyuki?" His voice was silky, mocking and I didn't like it at all.

I jerked away my chin as if he had slapped me. "Of course not!" I snapped indignantly. "Quit playing with me, you moron. You know I didn't mean it that way. You know exactly what this word 'family' means to me."

"Forgive me," he sighed, straightening up. "I know what this word means to you. That's why you should know what this word means for Uchihas as well before you start spewing out such words at me."

"Well, what?" I demanded waspishly, feeling almost humiliated by his rejection. I couldn't believe I had said something so ridiculous... It was like I had no control over my tongue when I was with him, which was absolutely mortifying.

" _Family_ ," he started almost as if he was repulsed by the word, "to Uchihas, it just means _power._ Do you know what drives our sharingan?"

I shook my head.

"Pain," he said softly, almost as if telling a secret. "It's pain. For centuries, Uchihas have built bonds, only to break them in the end because that's what gives us power. Greater the pain, greater power we have."

"You are making no sense."

"Don't you get it?" he said rather impatiently, his eyes glinting with an eerie, covetous gleam I didn't know how to interpret. "If someone close to us is _hurt_ , the power of sharingan is unleashed. If someone close to us _dies_ , we get even stronger and if," he paused here. His voice grew darker and his eyes suddenly melted into diabolical crimson, "we _kill_ someone who is precious to us, we become _invincible._ "

I realized that the air around us had turned tangibly cold and I shuddered at this strange, unnerving revelation.

He smirked at my reaction. "Have you realized it yet? We are cursed, through and through."

Surreptitiously, I smoothed my hands over the goosebumps peppering my arms. "What," I choked out, "the hell does that mean? Why would anyone want to kill someone precious to them, just to get stronger? What's the point? We need power in the first place to protect those who are precious to us."

For a while he didn't say anything, but then he just closed his eyes and smiled. And such a bitter smile it was.

"You are too naive, Miyuki."

"Don't call me naïve!" I said. "At least I say what I am thinking. You deliberately beat around the bush and say cryptic things that don't make any sense. Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"To confuse me, is that it? But I can read you, you know, especially when you are silent, no matter how hard you try to hide it. But it doesn't even matter. Sometimes, I feel like I am just wasting my time on you."

There was a tense silence.

"Are you growing tired of me, Miyuki?"

"Maybe I am," I said, clenching my fists. "What are you implying by telling me all this crap about Uchihas and power anyway? I already told you that I don't give a damn about your pathetic clan. What do you want? Do you want more power?"

His extended silence frustrated me to no end.

"Just tell me my role in all this!" My nails dug into my palms. "I can't take this... Just what does this _bond_ mean to you? Why me?"

 _What am I to you?_

"Because," he said simply, raising his now earnest red eyes to meet my tempestuous ones, "you can stop time."

For a while I couldn't believe what I was hearing. At this point, I was seriously starting to doubt my ears. Was it about my kekkei genkai?

" _What?_ " Again that nonsense?

"You can stop the time," he repeated, " _for me_. You make me forget. That's why."

"That does it!" I stood up. "I make you forget _what_? Answer me!"

Anger flashed in his eyes and I knew that I had finally driven him to the edge as well, just like he had done to me. "I told you before," he said, gritting his teeth and enunciating each syllable clearly, "it is _none_ of your business. Why do I even have to repeat myself? Are you hard of hearing?"

I had not ever seen him lose his temper quite like this before. He had not raised his voice or anything just the way he never did, but it was his frigid, lethal tone of voice that made me flinch. I never thought I would feel this hurt, but it was my stupid pride acting up again that always caused me to take ten steps away from a person who took a single step away from me.

"Fine," I whispered, pressing my fist against my chest and trembling from head to toe. "I heard you loud and clear. Don't worry; I won't bother you again."

…

The following week was one of the hardest. The ice between us had not cracked at all and we had barely said a word to each other in days. For how long was it going to stay like this? That night, I kept tossing and turning in my futon, replaying the whole scene in my mind. Sometimes I would forget the words he had said to me that day, but I could not forget the look in his eyes even if I tried... so cold, so exasperated, as if I was nothing but a nuisance to him. I knew he was desperately trying to keep me way from something, most probably for my own good. Perhaps I shouldn't have blown my fuse like that... Perhaps I had nagged him too much. But wasn't he being much more unreasonable than me? I was worried for him... _and he just didn't get it!_ What was he called God-damn precocious genius for? Well, he could go fall off a cliff for all I care!

Itachi. Itachi. Itachi.

I punched my pillow and turned, marveling at my mind's vocabulary nowadays.

But why though?

I had always known that there was something _unhinged_ about him (which had led us both to feel a connection in the first place) but now, he just kept getting more and more deranged. I could barely understand a single word he spoke nowadays. Was he finally _fracturing_? I had read somewhere that exceptional people and geniuses had greater psychotic tendencies than ordinary people...

But then again, I was sure there was a good reason behind his change in behavior. What could it possibly be? All I knew was that it had something to do with Hokage, the Council and the Uchihas.

 _Stay away from Uchihas..._

 _...Consider this a warning._

Exhausted by my restless, incoherent train of thoughts, I managed to drift off into an agitated sleep only for a wink before something roused me. It was my honed ANBU skills that caused me to perceive the slightest disturbances in the stillness of air. I quickly reached for the kunai hidden away in the sleeve of my yukata and sprang out of my futon. Pale, surreal moonlight glinted off the contours of my room and chiffon curtains at the window billowed in the cool, night breeze. I clutched the kunai tightly with my clammy fingers and narrowed my eyes. I had made sure to shut the window tightly before going to sleep.

I now inched towards the said window and pressed my hand against the cold glass-pane, peering outside in the still, inky night when two terrifying, luminous red orbs materialized right in front of me in the darkness.

 _Sharingan!_

"Who is it?" I gasped out over the noise of my erratic heartbeat.

"Basic rule of stealth," he enunciated softly, "if the window is open, then the intruder is most definitely inside."

"Itachi?"

Sure enough, the red I was seeing in the glass was only a reflection and he was standing right beside me at the moment, his presence so overwhelming and tangible that it made me wonder how I could have missed it in the first place. It made fine hair at the back of my neck stand with awareness.

"What are you doing here in my room at this hour?" I hissed at his dark reflection. "Are you a crazy bat-stalker? Obaa-san is home tonight. If she caught a whiff of—"

He stepped forward so that not even an inch remained between us, effectively cutting me off and before I knew it, his both arms had slinked around my midriff and my whole back was pressed snugly against his chest.

" _Itachi?_ "

I didn't know why I should feel this mortified... Was it because he had never seen me quite like this before, with my auburn hair completely unbound and tumbling in loose waves over my shoulders? Or was it because I was clad only in my thin, wrinkled yukata through which I could feel all his strong muscles? It made me feel too vulnerable and I found myself desperately missing my ANBU armor.

"What are you doing?" I choked out, stiff as a plank. Could he hear the embarrassing rhythm of my heart dancing to our proximity?

I could feel his face pressed in my hair, his breath wafting in my roots and his heartbeat thrumming against my back, perhaps a bit fast, yet steady, and this meant that he knew what he was doing— and probably not sleepwalking as I would have expected. Itachi had always been a spontaneous kind of person, but it was still a bit rare, for him to seek out physical comfort like this and I was a bit unnerved and alarmed by the urgency and need I could feel in him.

"Just as I thought," he whispered in my hair. "I cannot seem to let you go."

His words, these words of his, made me unravel completely and I found myself melting in his arms. Floodgates of all the weeks' worth of aching and longing were crashed open and I could feel tears prick my eyes from the overflow of all my feral sentiments. Was this how we reconciled? With no apologies and no it's-okays?

Why was this person so precious to me?

"What can I do?" I asked, just as softly as he had spoken, so as not to stir the delicacy of the moment. "What can I do to help?"

"Nothing," he said. "You don't have to do a thing. You just have to be there."

"I am here."

He pulled me even closer in response until I could hardly breathe, almost as if he was ascertaining that my words weren't a lie and I wasn't some hallucination of his. A long moment passed between us and in that interim, I began to wonder about all the cherished moments like these... Does the time really stop when we are together like this? Where does it go? Sometimes I imagine it like water, slinking into some unseen well in the ground, never existing, not in past or the future. Just now.

Finally, some of his inexplicable need seemed to be satiated and his arms relaxed a bit. "You," he sighed, "are making me selfish."

"Good," I said, "I told you I will make a human out of you."

"You make me sound like an animal of some kind." He sounded a bit hurt. "I have always been a human, I believe."

"Hardly," I scoffed. "But you couldn't be selfish even if you tried."

"If you knew the extent of my selfishness, you would probably be scared."

Unable to suppress an urge to look into his eyes, I turned around in his loose embrace. Even though I had promised I would make a human out of him, this beguiling beauty of his face touched by the feather of moonlight had to be unearthly and his presence in my old, shabby room was downright magical. The smoldering heat in his eyes now as he looked at me captivated me almost as much as it disconcerted me. I wondered what his selfishness would be like. Would it be as intense as everything else about him? Would I be able to handle it? Would I be scared?

My hands lifted of their own volition and I found myself tracing his eyelids, his cheeks and jaw with my fingertips, trying to alleviate some of the tiredness on his face. His hair was smooth and cool against my hot skin.

"Turn off your Sharingan," I ordered, "you are not allowed to use it in Nisshoku shrine."

He complied without arguing.

"Your ears are cold," I whispered. "I didn't realize... it's almost autumn already." I tugged on his cold hands. "Come."

I made him sit over a porch overlooking the wild pond garden in front of my room and draped my warm blanket around his shoulders. As much as his vulnerable state made me wary, it made me smile too. Here he was, probably the strongest ninja of the village but perhaps even the strongest needed comfort every now and then.

Handing him a warm cup of lemongrass and thyme tea I had whipped up in an electric kettle in my room, I sat across him with my own cup and regarded him quietly. For a while we just listened to the crickets singing and frogs croaking in the background and watched the silvery cobwebs of steam rising from our cups and twirling in the air, hypnotized by the patterns they seemed to create.

"What—" I started but he cut me off.

"Don't ask anything," he said. "Please."

I smiled sadly and took a sip of my scalding tea, liking the way it warmed me up from inside. "You ask for too much, Itachi."

"I warned you about my selfishness, did I not?"

"Is that a challenge? I can handle your selfishness, you know."

"Then," he said, placing his teacup on the floor. Judging by the sudden, ominous intensity of his bold eyes as he watched me through the wraith-like swirls of steam, I could tell that he was going to say something that might just change my fate.

"If I asked you," he said, "to come away with me and leave everything behind, what would you say?"

I thought about it.

"...Okay."

His eyes widened.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Rethink," he ordered.

"I told you, I will come with you."

"Again."

"I am serious. Take me with you... before I change my mind."

"Your life here will be over for good. You might never be able to come back."

"It's... It's fine," I said, looking down, "I would rather be where you are."

 _Rather than being where you don't exist._

He closed his eyes wistfully, as if waiting for my words to sink under his skin, almost as if he didn't really believe me but was glad to hear it anyway, as if he knew something about me that I didn't. Perhaps we both were drunk on the ink and fragrance of the night and not really ourselves. At nights as unreal as these, everything seems possible and all sorts of miracles happen, but the daylight brings with it the bitter taste of sense and reality. Perhaps I might not mean it in the morning. Perhaps when the dawn comes, I would be scared of my own words spoken so fearlessly in the night. But at this moment that was purer than any, sitting across him in the moonlight with the scent of night-jasmines thick in the air, I really was willing to just abandon everything for him. I would probably wake up in the morning thinking what the hell made me agree to something like that, but for now nothing mattered to me more than him. Only him.

With my fingertips, I touched his hand tentatively, calling him back from wherever his mind was at the moment. He opened his eyes and his warm hand encased mine, fingers closely interwoven.

"Itachi-"

"This is enough," he said. "Thank you... Miyuki."

...

 **A/N:** This summer heat makes me really lazy somehow, and the net connection keeps betraying me… but I am glad I finally got to complete this chapter. :-) I will try updating the next one as soon as I can. We are about to embark on the darker parts of this story and I am kind of excited. (Yeah, I am that crazy X)) I don't like writing angst only for the sake of angst, but this _is_ the story of the tragic Itachi Uchiha after all... Angst is a must.

Thank you for reading this chapter! I hope you all have good vacations.

 **~AnEveningMoth**


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER 23**

 _"There's no doubt that he's heading straight for tragedy. It will be beautiful, of course, but should he throw his whole life away as a sacrificial offering to such a fleeting beauty- like a bird in flight glimpsed from the window?"_

 _~Yukio Mishima, Spring Snow_

* * *

Run away with Itachi and leave Nisshoku shrine and half-senile, arthritic grandmother all alone to fend for herself? Run away with Itachi and leave Hana, Ryusei and Shikaku-sensei behind even though they had saved my life countless times and had promised to always be with me through thick and thin? Run away with Itachi and abandon all my dreams of ever restoring Fukuro clan to its original status and being acknowledged as a strong, capable kunoichi of Konoha? Run away with Itachi and betray my clan _and_ my ancestors in the process, granted that they have been quite useless to me so far, sitting in their graves? Run away with Itachi and betray Konoha, the land I had vowed to protect with my life, the land my late parents gave up their lives for? Run away with Itachi and become a Rogue ninja with no home to go to?

 _God_.

What the _fuck_ was I thinking?

I kicked away the blankets unceremoniously and stumbled my way to the washroom. Milky pink light of the day-break streamed in from the window and lit up the permanent disillusionment and panic stamped over my features. I looked like I had just seen some wrathful ghost of my dead ancestor and wasn't going to shake away the horror of it anytime soon. Biting my lips, I dipped my hands in the basin of cool water that smelt of cucumbers, lemon and mint, left there by Obaa-san- _your skin needs a little glow, missy-_ \- and splashed it over my face.

Was I drunk last night? Was _he_ drunk? I had to tell him no. Now. I couldn't possibly do this... not even for him. Did he matter to me more than the life I had so meticulously created for myself here? He was just some guy... I couldn't possibly uproot and destroy my whole world for him... No, no, never...

Except that I knew that he wasn't just _some guy._

Except that I knew that I had already given him my words, and the words of those of the noble clans were set in stone.

Except that I knew that I couldn't really live without him anyway, because I had already, unconsciously built all of my world around him.

But... why the hell was he planning to _defect_ from Konoha in the first place?

And Itachi, of all people... after all his self-righteous and downright preachy and _annoying_ talk of selflessness, sacrifice, duty and honor of a Shinobi! If I hadn't known him any better, I would have probably thought of him as a hypocrite... Except that he wasn't some coward; that much I knew. Even if some impossible situation arised, he wouldn't just break down or run away from it; he would face it head on. That was the Itachi I knew in my heart. So just what had made him decide to say something like that to me last night? What the hell was going on?

But all things considered, if I really was going to abandon my home for him, I had the right to _know_ at least. Perhaps if I knew, I could stop this... this... _madness_ of his. Yes, I had to find out what was happening. At all costs now.

...

I had tried to scavenge for some of the intel from Mikoto-san, but either she had to be a really great actress or she truly didn't know anything. Unfortunately, Itachi had been sent off to some clandestine solo mission by Hokage and I had to accompany Ryusei and Isamu on an untimely mission to guard some fuedal lord. When I returned though, Itachi was still not back and I had already reached my limit.

This time I was careful and competent enough to conceal my chakra impeccably, as I sat there on a tree, hidden under the leaves, my eyes riveted upon the dark-haired patriarch of the Uchiha clan, Uchiha Fugaku.

He was all alone this time, taking a stroll under the fruit-trees in Uchiha compond, pondering over something. Very deliberately, I spiked my chakra and sure enough, his head whipped in my direction, his eyes immediately melting into his much-feared sharingan, glowing balefully in dark night.

"Come out, Fukuro Miyuki."

I jumped down from the tree and landed right in front of him in one fluid motion. "Uchiha-sama," I said as civilly as I could, trying to ignore the blood rushing in my ears at the sight of him.

He stood there, eyeing me with barely concealed contempt, his posture intimidating though not quite as regal as Hiashi Hyuuga. "I believe I told you that I do not wish to see you in premises of Uchiha compound ever again," he intoned coldly. "Had I not been clear enough, or do your liaisons with my son and my wife give you some false sense of security?"

Despite having rehearsed this hundred times before, I started shaking apprehensively, for I knew that I was playing with fire. It wasn't just a coincidence that Uchiha's signature jutsu was Katon. "If you know about my liaisons with your family, then it means that you have been spying on me as well," I said. "Dare I call us both even?"

"On the contrary, that does not make us even at all, Fukuro Miyuki."

"That day at the Naka shrine," I said, "I deliberately let you find out I was there. I have spied on you enough to know by now that you cast a special jutsu of soundlessness around the Naka shrine before you start discussing anything of utmost importance, so it is impossible for me to eavesdrop on you."

His lips curled snidely. "Very smart for realizing that on your own, Fukuro Miyuki. Then why were you there that day, may I ask?"

"I wanted to talk to you," I admitted. "I know something is happening in between the Uchiha clan. Your son wouldn't tell me anything- I congratulate you for raising him up to be just as tight-lipped as you had wanted him to be- but I am going to assume and come to my own conclusions. I have had my suspicions for a while now..." I made sure I was looking at him intently when I said this, "Do you plan to harm Konoha in some way?"

As I had expected, there was no reaction. "I see," he enunciated coolly. "So your grandmother, Lady Fukuro has been listening to her own prejudices and is trying, yet again, to sully our name by spreading such filthy rumors?"

"Obaa-san, has nothing to do with-"

"Well, I should be _concerned_ this time," he drawled. "She is a part of Konoha's council right now and holds a certain degree of influence, the influence I am afraid I do not hold... as of yet."

His choice of words sent a chill of foreboding slithering down my back. "So it doesn't just smell fishy... You really are plotting something, aren't you?"

"You have a good head on your shoulders, Fukuro Miyuki. I will give you that. Unfortunately," he added ominously, "these instincts of yours are only going to get you into trouble, not out of it. Just like someone I once knew."

Unconsciously, my hand twitched towards the katana at my back. "What do you plan to do about it?" I spat, unsettled to find that my voice was tremulous with anxiety. " _Kill_ me like my Uncle?"

To my extreme astonishment, he didn't deny it. "I had to kill him," he said impenitently. "He had no evidence, yet he accused us of the nine-tail incident all those years ago. Of course we had no part in it... But even without a single proof, he had already planned to deface our noble clan, tarnish its reputation and ruin us by such baseless accusations. So before he could do that, I had to get rid of him. You see, Konoha does not trust us at all, and would rather believe the outrageous lies of someone who is not even a shinobi, as long as those lies are against the Uchiha clan. So you see, why I had to do it? I have a duty as the leader of Uchiha to protect my clan at all costs. I will do my duty without fail."

He was right, to an extent. I wasn't oblivious to all the whispered words and dirty gossip that followed almost all the members of the Uchiha wherever they went. Even Itachi and Shisui, with all their heroic acts and devotion to Konoha, weren't exempt from it. But then again, most Uchihas, with their bloodthirsty and suspicious-of-everyone attitude, had only made it worse for themselves. Of course the seeds of this discord were sown a long time ago when Madara Uchiha had decided to attack Konoha in his madness, the very same village he had himself founded in the first place. Perhaps Uchihas would never really be free from his shadow.

That was still no excuse for murdering my Uncle in cold blood.

"But have you never wondered," I asked, clenching my fists, "why Konoha has lost trust in the Uchiha clan?"

"Do you intend to educate _me_?" he said icily. "What do you know about it anyway, girl? You have been sheltered and allowed to be spoilt whole your life. You know nothing about the darkness and gritty reality of the village you so foolishly vowed to protect with your life. But Itachi... I haven't kept my son as ignorant as you are right now. He knows things that would make your insides curl."

I squared my shoulders, trying to appear as daunting as I could with my short stature and pretending that his disdainful words had no effect on me. "I may be sheltered," I conceded through clenched teeth, "I may even be ignorant. But at least I know this; your son will never let you harm Konoha!"

"Harm Konoha?" he said calmly. "Konoha is as much of a village to us as it is to you. You forget, just like the rest of them, for some reasons, that this is our home as well. It is not our intention to _harm_ Konoha."

"Then are you going to kill me too for _doubting_ the Uchiha clan?"

I realized he was looking at me peculiarly. "How close are you to my son?"

My clammy fingers tightened over the handle of my sword until my knuckles turned white. "What kind of question is that?"

He smirked and for the first time, I appreciated the resemblance he shared with his first-born. "Pretty close," he concluded. "Or you wouldn't have come all the way here to confront me like this. You are bold; I will give you that."

"He is a comrade and a friend," I responded, choosing my words with caution. "Shinobi are trained to protect their friends, aren't they?"

"Does he see you the same way though?" he demanded derisively. "Do you think that you are just as important to him as he is to you?"

"I..." I realized I had no answer to this one, which was all wrong. My fists shook and I lowered my head. "I... I trust him," I murmured at last, because if I didn't, then all this, everything I had ever done for him, all my feelings for him, would have been for nothing and all my efforts would be reduced to dust.

"I will not be the one to kill you."

He turned around soundlessly and started walking away. I blinked at his back, confused.

"It would be such a waste..." he said, "If I kill you now. And you are wrong about my son. He cares nothing for the village or the clan. The only thing he desires... is _power_. The blood that runs in his veins is purer than even my own. Do not make the error of assuming that you know him more than I do. I am his father, after all."

...

I realized why Fugaku Uchiha had spared me that night, because the very next day, he sent Itachi to kill me.

I was surprisingly calm in the face of the news. We sat there with our feet dangling off the edge of the precipice, with our waterfall in front of us. The waters of the Naka River were dancing and singing almost madly after the rainy seasons were over. The air was heady with a faint scent of spider-lilies blooming all over the forest at this time of the year, tarnishing the luscious greenness of the land with the blood redness of their petals. I stared at the white-horses running over the waves miles below for a long time, almost hypnotized. It was strange that not even a trace of the fear of heights I used to have for as long as I could remember could dare to linger in my mind at this moment.

"How do you want to die?" Itachi asked at last and his question didn't startle me. Not even in the slightest.

"I... never gave it much of a thought," I admitted slowly.

"All the shinobi think about it."

"Well, have you thought about it then?" I asked, almost challengingly. "How would you want to die?"

"It's not the question of 'want' for me," he said.

He allowed his coal-black tresses to swivel forward and cover his darkling eyes as he sat there with his one arm resting casually atop his knee.

"What do you mean?" I asked, hooking my stray hair behind my ear a bit shakily. "Have you already somehow foreseen your own death?"

"Of course not," he said mysteriously, "but we all make plans."

"Well, I would want to die without any regrets," I mused out loud. "In my happiest moment. Yes, that's when I wouldn't mind if I die."

"In your happiest moment, huh?"

He leaned forward almost casually and before I could ascertain what was happening, his hand was cupping my neck, almost like shackles, preventing me from moving away and his lips were upon mine. There was no hesitance in him now. His lips were firm, hungry and painstakingly thorough, coaxing the desired response out of me, as if he knew exactly what he wanted. He was confident. He was relentless. And I found myself melting. I felt peculiarly, pleasantly limp and light-headed as I clung to his strong shoulders, almost as if I was losing all my power… Almost as if I was...

 _No!_

Suddenly my eyes snapped open and in my frantic desperation, I immediately freed my one arm from our embrace and reached for the kunai always hidden away in the sleeve of my gi. I swung it forward, breaking off the kiss and stopped when the sharp blade of the kunai was pressed snugly against Itachi's jugular.

He didn't even bat an eye, as if he hadn't even thought of defending himself against my attack. For a long time we stared at each other, him calm and impassive as ever and me panting for air, clutching the kunai tightly in my trembling hands.

"I kiss you," he said sardonically, "and you try to kill me? How very heartless of you, Miyuki."

"Were you going to try to kill me after this?" I spluttered out. "Answer me!"

What was I saying? This was Itachi! Itachi, my childhood friend, the only one I would have willingly abandoned Konoha for...

But he was an Uchiha too. And I was a Fukuro.

We were sworn enemies, no matter how hard I had tried to deny that.

Fear had rendered me unable to form any coherent word and my hands felt strangely numb even as I continued to hold kunai against his throat in what would have been a very intimidating stance if I wasn't shaking like a leaf.

 _If we kill someone who is precious to us, we become invincible..._

 _...the only thing he desires is power..._

 _Uchihas can only be our enemy... the blood-thirsty monsters... Never forget that, Miyuki._

 _What if I became your worst nightmare one day?_

But this was Itachi!

He closed his eyes and his lips curled into a smirk. "Why did you jump to a conclusion that I was going to kill you?"

"Because I said I wanted to die in my happiest moment!"

He opened his eyes and looked at me with amusement dancing in his eyes. He didn't even seem a least bit conscious of the kunai pressed against his throat. "So just now when we kissed..." He laughed quietly, teasingly almost as if everything was alright. "Was it your happiest moment?"

"Shut up!" I snarled. So furious and terrified I was that I couldn't even find my innate embarrassment. "I have no intentions to be killed by you!"

"Neither do I," he murmured, purposefully dragging his tantalizing fingertips up the sensitive skin of my arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake and then wrapping his hand around my wrist, forcing away the blade from his vital spot. He gently wrestled the kunai out of my hand but instead of letting it go, he brought it against the side of his face and leaned into my palm, his eyes flickering close almost as if he was savoring the touch, trying to etch it in his memory.

Slowly, my palpitating heartbeat slowed down.

Why did it feel so peaceful like this in the middle of chaos? In this eye of hurricane? Like I wanted to stay here forever with my hand against his face and just stare at his absurdly long eyelashes, resting against his sensitive skin like feathers?

"So..." he said. "Just yesterday you agreed to abandon Konoha for me, did you not?"

I opened my mouth to reply but no sound came out.

"Did you, for some reasons, lose your trust in me overnight?"

"I... I..." To my horror, I realized that I couldn't speak at all and my whole body was still quivering in the aftermath. Quickly before they became a waterfall, I wiped these tears away, not wanting him to see me like this and then I raised my eyes to his face in desperation. One way or another, he was the only one who could pull me out of this miasma.

"Stop screwing with me for once, Uchiha." I hated the beseeching edge to my voice. "I need answers. You owe this to me. Why are you planning to run away from Konoha, like some sort of coward? I told you I will come with you, and I will, when you ask me to. But... But it is not like you at all, Itachi. I sometimes feel as if... as if I don't know you anymore."

"On the contrary, you know me more than I would like you to," he commented, making me even more baffled than I already was. "Do you know why my father asked me to kill you?"

"Because he is a bastard," I said through gritted teeth. "Just because he thought I was going to spread some crazy rumors about your damned clan..."

"No, that's not it." Itachi lifted his eyelids to look at me, this time, with his smoldering, red sharingan that startled me so much that I immediately snatched away my hand from the side of his face. "He wanted me to kill you because we have a bond. Because killing you would inevitably give me an incredible power."

"What power?" I whispered.

"Mangekyou sharingan."

His sinister words floated in the air between us like a tendril of smoke. I swallowed.

"If I kill you now," he continued, "I would undoubtedly become the strongest Uchiha to ever live."

How nonchalantly he talked about killing me! I couldn't help but find this disconcerting. Fugaku's earlier words came crashing into my mind. Did Itachi care only for power and nothing else?

"That's... That's utter bullshit!" I sputtered out, moving away from him and standing up. "I don't believe it... How would murdering _me_ give _you_ more power? Your strength is your own!"

Itachi stood up as well and looked at me evenly. "I did warn you what the bonds meant to Uchihas, did I not?"

"But you are not like other Uchihas!"

Anger sparked in his eyes and the aura around him suddenly turned menacing. "Oh but you forget despite all my warnings," he said slowly, approaching me steadily, "that I _am_ an Uchiha, and all the Uchihas are ultimately in love with the power first and foremost. Family and the bonds are only means to an end. This is the curse I told you about."

Obaa-san's words were running rampant in my mind.

 _All Uchihas are cursed. They can only bring more bloodshed and devastation, even to the people they love..._

"No," I mouthed, shaking my head.

"Tell me, do you still think of me as a family?"

For a long time I didn't speak. "You won't do something like that," I said at last quietly, adamantly, almost childishly.

"You have _no idea_ what I am capable of."

His words though flippantly spoken carried a dark threat in them and inadvertently, I flinched. "Why are you doing this?"

He just appraised me dispassionately, acting oblivious to the raw desperation and impotence in my voice.

Emphatically, I shook my head again. I couldn't possibly allow him to tarnish our memories that had meant so much to me, the memories I had so cherishingly trapped in the memory-preserving scrolls, the memories that had kept me alive so many times before when I was so close to death.

"Then what was the point of it all?" I whispered achingly. I realized that my throat felt dangerously clogged. "Was everything all for this? In the end... is this what it all comes down to? Are you saying that... that our bond meant nothing to you?

"If it meant nothing to me," he said softly, "then I wouldn't be able to awaken the Mangekyou sharingan by killing you, now would I?"

I clenched my fists. "Then why did you ask me to run away with you that night, dammit?"

"Just a moment of weakness I am deeply ashamed of," he replied with a disturbing apathy. "The things have changed now; they changed the moment my father asked me to kill you. I must admit, you make me weak... No, you make me feel _okay_ with being weak and I cannot afford that."

"Why? Why do you have to be oh so God-damn perfect and strong all the times-"

"Don't try to change my mind, Miyuki. I cannot afford to be _selfish_ when so much is at stake."

I scoffed. "But that night you told me about your selfishness. And I told you I could handle it. Remember?"

His jaw tightened in response.

"You don't have to do this," I whispered. "You... We can run away, just like you said. Both of us... We-"

His eyes narrowed into an unmistakable glare and threatening glint in those orbs was back. "Do not delude yourself, Miyuki," he said coldly. "You have never been my first priority, and never will be. You have always known this. My duty comes first."

This time his cruel words shut me up. God, how well I had known this... But even then, I could not stop the slow, burning poison from spreading in my blood and rushing through my ears. I wrapped my arms around myself, almost as if to keep myself from breaking and I could feel my fingernails digging in my elbows and tears burning at the back of my throat.

"So... are you going to kill me?"

I sounded surprisingly calm. Resigned even. Never giving away the storm inside of me.

He just stared at me.

"All for _power?"_ I sneered. "If that happens, I swear I will kill you first! I told you I will protect you! I won't let you sink this low and turn into some power-hungry monster like your father. But… But something tells me that you won't do it... That you can't be that kind of person. You... you..."

"...Are you done?" he said offhandedly.

"You ungrateful bastard," I snarled through clenched teeth, taking a step towards him, unable to control my fury anymore. "I will _kill_ you now-"

"Do not bluff." His eyes had suddenly melted into that cruel Sharingan again, making me retreat. "You do not have the strength to kill me... Just like I do not have the strength to kill you today."

He turned around and started walking away, leaving me to stand there in horrified daze. I felt like my whole world was crashing, crumbling to dust around me and I could only watch as impotently as one watches a shipwreck from a distant island. I wondered why I wanted to scream out his name, to reach out and hold him tight, to make him promise that he would never let go of me no matter how dark his intentions were, but it was only the Uchiha crest emblazoned boldly over his back that prevented me from doing so.

Almost as if I had willed it, he stopped suddenly and inclined his face sideways to look at me from over his shoulder, his midnight hair moving sinuously in the wind. That hard, dangerous gleam in his one panther-like eye made me shiver and held me incapacitated to the spot. It was the look he gave to his victims before he sent them to their deaths.

"After this, do not associate yourself with me or any other Uchiha," he said icily. "You do not want to get involved, trust me. Stay far away from me this time, Miyuki."

"Funny," I spat out, somehow surprised to find my voice under the given circumstances. "And I remember how you once asked me to stop running away from you."

"It was all a mistake. You cannot protect me if you cannot protect yourself from me." He finally broke off the eye-contact. "You once told me that you do not want to be backstabbed... This is your only warning. Farewell... Miyuki."

...

I had always thought I was above crying the way some of those sniveling, silly girls did whenever their boyfriends broke up with them, so when I found few hot, stray tears trickling down my cheeks on my way back home after the incident, I was beyond indignant and furious at myself, which of course made me cry even harder until I was trapped in the vicious circle of crying and loathing myself for it and crying yet again for loathing myself in self-pity.

But had he even broken up with me? I knew that in his own, twisted way, he had admitted that he shared a strong bond with me but also, that he desired power and his duty much more than he cherished that bond. Of course, I had known he was an ambitious person and in spite of being a prodigy and gifted quite generously at birth, he had to have certain thirst, certain darkness, certain cruelty within him to be able to climb up all the way to where he was at that moment. But did I really believe that he would sacrifice me for it?

No.

Because even now, he had given me no reasons to believe that he had only created this bond with me just so he could gain more power even though I knew that he could be a very calculating person. But this was... beyond ridiculous, in my opinion and not something Itachi would do, a person who would save pawns instead of the king in shogi. But still, if he had really wanted me to stay away from him, I would do exactly that. I detested the feeling of being an unwanted burden on anyone and on him the most anyway. Perhaps, he just needed some time alone... And also, we had made no promises or commitments to each other so encumbering him by making him realize that he actually owed something to me was out of question. We had both been completely free...

Nevertheless, I still wanted to drill holes into that thick skull of his, rip him apart from limbs to limbs for abandoning me like this after everything we had been through...

 _That's enough!_ I told myself firmly. No more thinking about that asshole. He wasn't worth it.

Meanwhile, I could smell the change in the air, as if there was an earthquake brewing beneath the semblance of this calm, as if we were all precariously balanced over thin ice that could break any moment...

Autumn had brought a heavy chill that enveloped everything sometimes like a shroud of gloom. I was constantly alone... Obaa-san was never home and when she was, she would never talk anymore. At first, I thought it was a blessing that at last she had learnt to control that obnoxious mouth of hers and ceased her useless nagging and her favorite pastime of finding faults in me. But I began to worry when she no longer insisted that I cook cabbage-based feasts for her and would listlessly eat whatever I made, even if it was something sweet.

I could tell that something was happening at Hokage's office, as well. I was aware of the fact that Itachi was spending lot of his time there along with Obaa-san and my intuitions were wailing at me like a banshee that I probably should intervene and try finding out what was going on because if something bad was to happen, I would spend my whole life feeling the guilt of not doing something at this crucial moment.

But each time, my inherent pride would get in my way and it was something I just couldn't seem to swallow. I wondered if it was because I was a Fukuro... I realized that I was being selfish, that I could tell that something big was clearly hounding Itachi and yet, I couldn't seem to let go of my anger towards him for treating me like that to actually find out what was wrong.

So I would pass him in the streets wordlessly, without even looking up. I could only allow myself to watch helplessly from the sidelines as his eyes grew colder and darker as the days went by. It came to the point that sometimes they would stare right past me as if I wasn't even there, as if he was haunted by some terrible entity only he could see. In retrospect, I could probably tell that he was slowly breaking, collapsing like a star that has been through too much pressure, like a supernova.

I probably should have done something. Perhaps, I even had the power to change few things...

But I didn't.

And so, the regrets piled up, buried me like avalanche.

And I knew I would never be able to die a peaceful death now after this.

...

That night I woke up with a start.

I realized that my forehead was drenched in beads of perspiration and I was panting slightly, the after-effects of a terrible nightmare. Shimmery moonbeams streamed in from the window, bathing the familiar contours of my room in a ghostly glow that made me feel ominously uncomfortable. Something was terribly wrong tonight.

Closing my eyes and folding my hands into hand-signs, I sent slight pulses of chakra in the wind, feeling them soar in the dark, still mountains, over to the Uchiha manor where I hoped Itachi would be, but I wasn't too surprised when I didn't sense his chakra. Either he was concealing it for some reasons or he wasn't there to begin with. _Calm down_ , I told myself firmly. _He is probably on some mission._

But my heart was still restless, because deep down I knew that something was different that night. Focusing, I called forward more of my chakra and let the pulse brave the sinister winds of the night, over the tumultuous river meandering in the valleys, to the waterfall cliff six miles away from where I lay over my futon.

What I sensed there almost made me faint.

I immediately kicked aside my covers and reached for my ninja-gear, not even bothering to change my sheer sleeping-yukata. I jumped out of my window and took off in the dark, cold night, trying to ignore the way wings of foreboding were enveloping me and talons of dread were clawing at me. The dark silhouettes of trees around me seemed like monsters from my worst nightmares and the icy wind rustling against the leaves was portentous. All the while, I could feel that there was something sinister lurking in those shifting shadows of the woods.

 _Control your thoughts,_ I tried to tell myself. They were probably just training, but if so, then why was Shisui's chakra flickering like candle in the wind? Hanging on to almost insubstantial thread of his chakra, I quickened my pace, ignoring the way biting wind tore at my skin.

But in the end, I was too late.

When I finally reached there, Itachi was standing alone near the edge of precipice with his back to me. Few, black feathers of his crows were spiraling in the air and raining down on him almost like some dark omen and silvery moonlight lit up his familiar profile ethereally. For a second, he looked like some surreal apparition to me, something inhuman, perhaps an angel or a demon.

I could no longer sense Shisui's chakra or see his body anywhere but judging from the way Itachi was looking down the waterfall unwaveringly, I could tell that Shisui was already miles below, swallowed in the endless chasms of the waters, with the cruel waves tossing his body against the boulders, making his skin grow bloated, tearing him apart...

Unconsciously, I shuddered. Such a horrible way to die.

Even as I watched in petrified horror, Itachi stepped closer to the edge of precipice, not just to peer down as it would seem, but almost as if he was going to follow after his much cherished friend... and that was what made me snap out of the trance I was trapped in.

 _"Itachi!"_

My body seemed to move languidly, in slow motion, almost as if I was trapped in some terrible dream and the next thing I knew was that my arms were wrapped around Itachi's trembling form and my face was pressed against his back; I was hanging on to his erratic heartbeat, like an agonizing lament to his dead friend.

"No," I whimpered, clutching his shirt. "Don't."

For a long time he just stood there stiffly like a statue without acknowledging my presence, as if nothing could really bring him back from that dark realm where his thoughts were at the moment. I had a dreadful, uncanny feeling that he was just going to melt away from me like water and disappear forever into oblivion. Unconsciously, I tightened my arms around him almost in desperation. Then, slowly, finally, he unraveled a bit. "Miyuki?" he whispered.

I blinked open my eyes blearily. "I am here."

"Why are you here?"

"This is no time for that!" I said emphatically, letting go of him and stepping away. "Let's go and look for him. Perhaps, he is still alive… Maybe we can save him. Maybe—"

"Shisui is dead," he said flatly, with no inflection in his voice. "Nothing will wake him."

"But—"

"More importantly," Itachi finally turned around to face me and his eyes looked just as dead, cold and empty as his voice had and I couldn't help but take a step back, scared, because I had never seen him like this before and I was at the my wit's end with how to deal with all this. "Why are you here?"

"I…"

I couldn't finish the sentence because next moment, Itachi was upon me. I gasped and stumbled under his added weight and my knees buckled until both of us had sunk into the mattress of grass. His shivering arms were encasing me, his hands clutching my waist and my shoulders almost desperately and his face was buried in my hair. For a while I could do nothing except for just sitting there, too afraid to move or even utter a word, because I knew that he had already collapsed down to the point where I couldn't even see his pieces.

His grief was so overwhelming, so tangible that I could feel it in my skin, sinking deep into my bones like malignancy, until it became my own. Not bothering to wipe away the tears clinging to my eyelashes, I put my arms around him and pulled him closer. But in the end, despite how much I wanted to, I could do nothing except for holding him.

His skin was hot, feverish and I tried to extricate myself from his arms to fetch a water-soaked cloth to put it over his burning forehead but he shook his head slowly and tightened his grip around me until I couldn't breathe, almost if he wanted to merge me with him. "No," he whispered.

"I won't leave you," I vowed, running my fingers in his hair soothingly, trying to impart the promise in the gesture. "Not this time."

He released me completely at this.

I immediately made a small fire to ward off the cold by Katon technique Itachi had taught me once in our training session together and cradled his head gently in laps lest he had headache due to his fever. I peeled off the forehead protector which, I realized with a jolt, was actually mine and replaced it with a wet cloth. Itachi looked at me with slightly hazy, searching eyes and I stroked his hair. "You'll be okay," I whispered, feeling him relax under my ministrations. "I am here."

He reached up slowly to twirl around his fingers the tendrils of my hair that had cascaded off my shoulder. "Miyuki?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you forgive me?"

"Of course."

"Regardless of what happens?"

A pathetically brittle smile was all I could give him. "...Yeah."

He closed his eyes, as if finally at peace, even though I knew he would be getting no sleep that night. Around us, the air began to grow colder and portentously heavier. Dew continued to fall and I couldn't help but remember a stanza from an old poem my grandmother had read to me many times before.

Whole through the night, the lost Nightingale cried

And left its teardrops over the plum blossoms

So that the skylark could find where the Nightingale sleeps

By chasing the dewdrops in the morning sun

* * *

 _Do you know what I dreamt of that night?_

 _Perhaps, you do know because you were having the same dream as well._

 _We were both children again. Your hair was short at that time, barely grazing your collars and my knobby knees were forever scabby with my childish escapades. I was shuffling about in the woods, dragging my feet unwillingly and wading grumpily through the sea of ferns when you found me._

" _What are you up to?" you asked, as always with faint suspicion as if I couldn't possibly be doing anything right._

" _I am looking for acorns," I grumbled, combing the ferns to look for one. "Obaa-san said she wouldn't let me come home if I didn't gather ten acorns. She needs them for her remedial potions."_

" _But you won't find any acorn here, idiot," you said slowly with traces of amusement in your eyes._

 _As always, your tone annoyed me. "Why not?" I groused, kicking the ground, hoping some of the soil would get into your eyes and render you blind._

" _Because you are looking under a wrong tree," you said superiorly, like always, as if your knowledge far exceeded mine. "Acorns don't grow on pine trees."_

" _Then where do they grow?"_

" _Over the oak-trees, of course!" came another excited voice and I whirled around to find another boy sitting over a tree, who was also unmistakably an Uchiha with his dark hair and dark eyes even though his wide smile wasn't something you usually saw on Uchiha's faces._

" _Shisui," you said wearily but I saw the way your eyes lit up at the sight of that boy and I couldn't help but feel a sliver of jealousy because I finally realized that you had a friend other than me, someone who was not only obviously more likeable than the gloomy me but also belonged to your own clan._

" _Come on," the boy named Shisui laughed. "Let's look for the acorns together for your Obaa-san. I know just the place where they grow."_

 _So we ran over the slopes to the grove of the oak trees where acorns fell from the canopy like the rain and the sun was bright and dazzling as it shimmered down on us. I managed to gather more than enough acorns for my grandmother and then the three of us sat over a big, outstretched branch of the ancient oak tree, overlooking the valley of Konoha and the boy named Shisui told us a story about acorns._

" _Long ago," he said. "I heard from my father that witches used to keep acorns with them."_

" _But witches never existed!" I protested, glaring at him._

" _Did too!" he countered._

" _No they didn't! Obaa-san says that there were no such things as witches and magic. They were all ninjas doing strange things with their chakras."_

" _But witches did exist," the boy named Shisui said, smiling imperiously. "They were driven to extinction and burnt to death because ninjas didn't like them. Anyway, witches used to have acorns with them and they used acorns to communicate with other witches all the times. My father says that only witches understood other witches because ninjas liked to kill them and torture them. They were all lonely and oppressed but whenever they found an acorn or whenever another human gave them an acorn, they used to feel all better and little less lonely, because it meant that somewhere in the world, there was someone just like them. Pretty cool, right?"_

 _The boy named Shisui looked at us both eagerly, throwing up an acorn in the air and catching it in his palm. But his smile vanished and his face immediately became crestfallen when you and I looked unimpressed as ever. "Oh well," the boy named Shisui said, scratching his head. "Here, I will give this acorn to you, Itachi, because it means that I understand your loneliness and that you are just like me. Cool, huh?"_

" _God forbid if I am anything like you," you said sardonically, but I couldn't help but notice the way you smiled surreptitiously as you took the acorn from the boy named Shisui and pocketed it. And I was, of course, burning with jealousy, cursing myself for not having known that about acorns, because in my childish mind, I knew that you two shared a bond I couldn't even begin to fathom._

 _You two really did understand each other, even though you couldn't be more different from each other in mannerism. You made the most formidable and almost invincible pair in Konoha, the two prodigies, the envy of everyone. You two grew up together and were in the same genin team. You watched each other grow, saved each other countless times and came out stronger than ever from the life and death situations. He was your best friend._

 _So how can I believe that you killed the boy named Shisui?_

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm sorry for the delay... You know, life happens and all. Well, so Shisui is finally dead! Not that I enjoyed killing that guy off or anything, but he seems like the kind of character that gets killed off in a story... Oh well, so how was it?

This chapter was a bit hard for me to write, with everything going on in my life... I know it's a bit confusing so you are free to ask me if you have any questions. I will be happy to answer! Next chapter is going to be the most defining one, so stick with me!

And countless thanks to all of you who read/reviewed/favorited. And also for putting up with my erratic updates! Until next time!㈴2㈵7

 **~AnEveningMoth**


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER 24**

 _"You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star."_

 _-Friedrich Nietzsche_

* * *

When I opened my eyes, a linnet was trilling softly, melodically over some tree and there was general sense of tranquility in the air. But at the back of my mind, I knew that this linnet's song was the song of farewell. Autumn was already here and soon, all the birds would be gone. Perhaps that was why this song sounded so sad and plaintive that it brought tears to my eyes.

The fire I had made last night was reduced to embers in purple ashes and I immediately scrambled up in the sitting position when I realized that Itachi was nowhere around. I found him sitting over a boulder few yards away, much to my relief, his eyes closed as if he was meditating.

With horrible images of last night fresh in my mind, I approached him cautiously, slowly, so as not to startle him and placed my fingers tentatively over his wrist. "Your fever is gone," I muttered. "Good. Your pulse isn't that bad either."

But he stiffened and flinched away from my touch as if I had burnt him. "What are you doing here?" he asked coldly, much to my dazed astonishment.

I quickly retracted my hand and held it against my chest, shocked by his rebuff but recovered quickly. "Is that something you say to someone who played the nurse and took care of you the whole night, you ungrateful brat?"

"You are a fool, Miyuki," he said, standing up and moving away from me as if I was a leper.

"Oh am I now?" I sneered.

"I asked you, to stay away from me," he said in a soft, dangerous voice. "Did you forget?"

"Stay away from you?" I scoffed. "You sure didn't seem to be saying that last night. I thought you needed me, you asshole, because you were sick, because you were suffering..."

He started approaching me slowly with a mad look in his eyes and I couldn't help but feel slightly scared; his face carried none of the vulnerability he had shown last night and the planes of his face were hard, implacable like glaciers. "Are you telling me that smart mind of yours hasn't put it together yet? You really don't know what happened last night?"

"Last night, Shisui-san…" My eyes widened and I found that I couldn't complete the sentence.

"I killed him."

"You are lying," I said simply. "There is no way you could kill Shisui-san. You are saying that just to scare me off."

His lips curled into a smile that was dripping with unhinged sort of insanity and he stepped forward until we were just an inch apart, until I could feel the familiar heat emanating from his form. "You are an even bigger fool than I thought you were," he said derisively. "Do you require a proof, perhaps? Look straight into my eyes, Miyuki."

I watched with some trepidation, almost hypnotized as the tomoes in his eyes started spinning rapidly and then merged together to form a distinctive, three-pointed pinwheel pattern.

Mangekyou sharingan.

I realized that my knees had suddenly gone lifeless and my whole body was shuddering and yet, I shook my head vehemently, desperately denying what I could see so clearly. "No!"

"No?" Itachi said incredulously.

"I…I did some research," I gasped out, lurching away from him, "in the library. I… I found out that you can awaken this M-Mangekyou sharingan on your close friend's death. You don't necessarily have to _kill_ them, in order to awaken this power. It is the pain of the trauma that causes you to… to…"

"And who exactly is capable of killing the prodigious Shisui Uchiha of body flicker in Konoha, other than me?"

Who, indeed.

"...No."

"Still no? How far will you go to deny something that is so obvious?" he sneered. "When you were coming this way, you could sense Shisui's dying chakra."

I wrapped my hands around my trembling elbows and took another step back. "Stop."

 _Please_.

"You also knew that there was no one else here other than me. Do you still think it wasn't me?"

"Stop it!" I snarled, my hand automatically reaching for my ninja gear. I sent a spray of shurikens over him in frustration. "You are not the monster you are pretending to be. Just stop lying to me for once and tell me what is going on! I told you I won't leave you this time. You were _sick_ with grief last night…"

" _Grief_ ," he said mockingly, as he nimbly dodged my shurikens and then advanced upon me, forcing me back into a tree. "Whenever the Mangekyou Sharingan is awakened for the first time, the user goes through a painful phase of getting used to of the new power. That was the cause of my fever. _Grief_ had nothing to do with it."

I punched his cheekbone and he reeled back a bit in daze, as if he hadn't seen it coming.

"You were crying!" I shouted.

His luminous crimson eyes narrowed to slits. He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out.

I looked at him with my fierce eyes then, challenging him, daring him to deny it. "And you think I am a fool?" I said. "I would be a fool if I believed, even for once, that you killed Shisui because I know for sure that you didn't. Those new eyes of yours change nothing. Because I…"

"You what?" he whispered. "What, Miyuki?"

"I don't know what's happening," I admitted softly. "I don't even know what you are trying to achieve by acting like a madman. But I... I believe in you."

"Believe in me?" His tone acerbic.

"Because," I continued, "you are the only person I have ever seen who is completely selfless and self-sacrificial, to the point of idiocy!"

His eyes widened, as if he couldn't quite believe what was enfolding before his eyes.

"Still think I am a fool?" I tried to smile a little, reaching up slowly to cup his cheek with my trembling hand, getting ready to do this once again, for one last time. "Why do you think you have to carry all the burdens alone? I know I am not that strong or reliable but perhaps, I could help you with whatever it is... Maybe I can save you."

Once again, for one last time.

I waited with bated breath even though I already knew what he was going to say. Still, I was surprised when he didn't pull away. "Too late," he whispered, closing his eyes. "I have burnt all the bridges. I am already past the point of no-return. There is no going back... Nothing can change that, not even you."

Somehow, these cruel yet candid words of his spoken so achingly pained me more than anything else. He really was slipping away from me, just like sand from my fingers and there was nothing I could do except for watching him fall. I stifled back the tears that were threatening to show up any moment and held his unwavering, intense gaze.

"I will stay away and never cross your path again if that's what you want me to do." I traced his cheek softly for one last time, my touch lingering and wistful. "Do what you have to do... Itachi."

 _I believe in you._

Or I thought I did.

…

Shisui Uchiha's funeral was conducted in mournful silence, just like any other funeral in Konoha. The body was never recovered from the Nakano River and so the coffin carried some of his precious items, including his Konoha headband. But what unsettled me was that Itachi was nowhere to be seen even though he had to be somewhere in Konoha.

I was pretty sure that Uchiha members found this to be suspicious too because they kept exchanging these long, circumspective glances with each other, as if they were plotting something. I knew they weren't wrong to suspect Itachi because honestly, all the evidence pointed towards him, including his untimely absence from his best friend's funeral.

Itachi was the only one strong enough in Konoha to have landed fatal blow on the legendary Shisui Uchiha of the body flicker. He was also aware of the fact that Uchihas had asked Shisui to spy on him. Itachi's behavior had, no doubt, changed a lot recently. His blatant contempt for his own clan had increased a lot more and he had been skipping many of the Uchiha's confidential meetings without any regard, which was, of course, enough to land him into suspicion. Also that night, I had sensed Shisui's chakra fluctuate as if he had been engaged in some battle, and there had been no one else there except for Itachi.

But even so, why couldn't I still believe that Itachi could have killed Shisui, even after Itachi had himself confessed to this so adamantly? Why did I still think that he was lying? Was I _blind_?

I knew I had promised him that I would stay away from him after this, but that didn't mean I would cease trying to find out what was happening, especially when I knew that things were turning quite gruesome in my own neighborhood. I found myself spying on Uchihas even more and my impeccable ANBU training in stealth came in really handy.

That morning, I was camouflaged over a roof with my chakra concealed immaculately when I saw three of the Uchihas from the police force arrive at the doorstep of Uchiha manor.

"Is Itachi there?" One of them exclaimed impatiently. "Get out of there. We need to talk."

Now, of course I knew that Itachi had been sitting outside in the porch with Sasuke so I was a bit apprehensive when he came out to stand in front of the three obviously antagonistic Uchihas who were probably there to apprehend him. "Why are you here?" he asked coolly, face betraying no emotions.

"Only two people didn't show up for the last night's meeting," one of the policemen said coldly, glaring. "Why didn't you show up?"

Itachi didn't reply and just appraised them, unruffled as ever but I wondered if he was replaying last night's horrific events in his mind.

"We get that you have been busy working with ANBU and your father keeps telling us the same thing, that he has been watching over you. But we don't plan to treat you differently just because of that."

Still no emotion on Itachi's face. "I understand," he intoned. "I will be more careful from now on. Now, I must ask you to leave."

"I guess that's fine," one of them said warily. "But before we leave, there is something we would like to ask you, regarding the suicide drowning of Uchiha Shisui in Nakano River last night."

This time Itachi looked up at them resolutely, an almost imperceptible emotion ghosting over his face at the mention of his now dead friend. So had it really been a suicide? I dug my nails into the tiles of the roof because of what was coming now.

"If my memory serves me right, you looked up to him as your own big brother, didn't you?" the Uchiha spat out, scrutinizing Itachi vigilantly, no doubt, looking for some signs of weakness.

"…Is that so?" Itachi said tonelessly. "I haven't seen him recently. How unfortunate."

My eyes narrowed. It was almost as if Itachi was talking about some stranger and not his own best friend.

"So, we at police force decided to launch out an all-out investigation."

"Investigation?"

One of the three Uchiha took out a small piece of paper which he handed out to Itachi. "This is a suicide note written by Shisui Uchiha. The handwriting analysis shows that it is definitely his but to someone with sharingan, it would be easy to mimic his handwriting perfectly."

Itachi took the paper from the man's hand.

"He was one of the most talented members of Uchiha, also feared as Shisui of mirage. He was the kind of person who would do anything for the clan—"

I gritted my teeth, detesting their imperious tone of voice. As if any of them knew Shisui the way Itachi did…

"I am not buying that a person like him would leave behind something like this and commit suicide just like that."

For a while Itachi just stared at the piece of paper in his hand that might have been one last souvenir his friend left behind and then he raised his condescending eyes to the three Uchihas in front of him. "It is not wise to judge people based on your own preconception and by their appearances," he said cryptically.

They were obviously annoyed by Itachi's words. "I'll be leaving that with you!" one of them growled, pointing at Shisui's suicide note. "Take it to ANBU and request that they help out with this investigation."

"Understood."

Still wary, the three of the Police forced turned around to walk away but I could detect subtle change in Itachi's chakra—it became colder, more foreboding, almost out of control and the composed expressions over his face changed. "Why don't you just come out and say it?" he said slowly with a menacing growl rumbling at the back of his throat. "You all suspect me, don't you?"

They all stopped at turned to face him with their eyes automatically bleeding into Sharingans. "Damn right, you brat," one of them snapped.

 _Mistake,_ I thought, balling my hands into fists with dread.

Itachi's eyes narrowed with wrath and then he merely disappeared from where he was standing. A moment later, the three of the police force members were lying in the dirt, coughing out blood while Itachi stood above them with malicious, spiteful aura surrounding him. I had never seen him like this before, and it unnerved me.

"Like I said earlier," Itachi said in a dangerous tone of voice, "it is not wise to judge people on your own preconceptions and their appearances." He straightened up and eyed their twitching forms dispassionately. "For example, you assume that I am a patient man and therefore, you underestimate me. It's always the clan, the clan… You fail to measure your capacity and are unable to see the depth of mine. Now you lay before me, groveling in dirt."

"Shisui was asked," one the Uchihas whimpered, "to keep an eye on you. After years of working with the ANBU, your actions and manner of speech are stranger than ever… What is going on in that head of yours?"

"You hold onto your organization, your clan, one's name but these are the things that limit us and our capacities," Itachi said, no longer bothering to hide the madness and contempt which seeped into his tone effortlessly. "We should detach ourselves from such trivial things. It's foolish to fear what we have yet to see and comprehend."

Despite myself, I shuddered at his words. At the back of my mind, I knew he was going too far with this and if someone didn't intervene soon, it was going to turn really ugly—

"Cut it out, Itachi!" said Fugaku sternly and I almost heaved a sigh of relief at his appearance. "Calm down. What in the world is going on here?"

Nobody said a word.

"Itachi, you have been acting strange lately."

"Nothing is wrong," intoned Itachi at last, almost derisively. "I am merely carrying out my duties."

"Then why didn't you show up for the meeting?" his father demanded.

For a while, Itachi didn't respond, almost as if he wasn't really listening. "In order to reach the height…" he said at last in a low, sinister voice.

"What are you talking about?"

Suddenly, Itachi turned, his eyes taking the portentous red of the sharingan as he swung out his arm with a kunai in his hand. I almost winced, barely taking in his father's startled expressions, as the kunai whizzed an inch past his head and embedded into the Uchiha symbol over the wall. I realized I was panting heavily in the aftermath, almost as if I had expected Itachi to actually hit his own father with the kunai because his dark bloodlust was swirling in the air, almost to a tangible degree. He was taking it too far, almost as if he was finally embracing the insanity he had always kept deeply hidden underneath the demeanor of calmness, as if he no longer cared what anyone thought of him anymore. Didn't he know that by acting like this, people would assume without a doubt that he really was a murderer? Didn't he know how dangerous it was to act like this at such crucial time?

 _Stop it, Itachi._

"The height of my capacity," Itachi went on almost cruelly. "I have lost all the hope for this pathetic clan!"

 _Stop it already!_

"You forget what is important and cling to something as insignificant as the clan. True changes cannot be made by laws, limitation, prediction or imagination."

 _You are going too far!_

I realized my fingernails were digging into my skin. Should I intervene?

"What arrogance!" Fugaku said, almost stunned by his son's behavior.

"That's enough," one of the members from the police force growled, finally getting up after their momentary incapacitation and glaring up at Itachi. "If you keep this up, we will take you to jail. I can't put up with this anymore. Captain, order the arrest!"

Itachi's eyes narrowed and his hands balled into fists as he took his familiar offensive stance, like that of a crouching tiger. I tensed in fear and dread when I realized that his chakra had already spiraled out of control; that he was so riled up that he did, without a doubt, intend to fight these measly Uchihas and show them their place…

Somebody needed to stop him soon before it got out of hand.

I was prepared to reveal myself if it came to that and then…

"Stop it, nee-san!"

It was little Sasuke, standing there behind the door, looking at his brother sadly and his voice had immediate effect on Itachi. Those scornful expressions melted away from his face abruptly, replaced by shock at his own behavior and then he dropped down on his knees, much to my astonishment, into an unmistakable bow of someone asking for forgiveness.

"It is not I who killed Shisui," he said in a rueful, humbled voice. "But for my words, I apologize deeply."

The abrupt change in his demeanor was startling. For him to swallow his pride like this… I had never seen him like this before.

I almost sighed when everything calmed although I felt no relief. Still, it was somewhat placating to see that even now, Sasuke held this much power over Itachi and could keep him in check should the need arise. But I couldn't even begin to imagine what would have happened if Sasuke hadn't intervened… It was almost as if Itachi was burning all the bridges… As if he was not ever going back. As if he intended to drown.

 _I am already past the point of no return._

I stared at the kunai lodged into the Uchiha symbol over the wall, cracks spreading over the crest, ensnaring it like cobwebs. Like a dark omen.

…..

They sent our ANBU squad # 4 on a simple B-ranked mission, which was fishy to begin with, since ANBU members weren't usually sent on missions like this. Even fishier was the fact that our captain, Itachi, was not with us and they had chosen Isamu Yamanaka as the squad-leader owing to his seniority. "So I have finally been made the captain," he said cockily, beaming as he stood there on the gates of Konoha with his chest thrown out. "They finally decided to give me the position I have always deserved! Even the disabling pains of my fibromyalgia can't dampen my happiness!"

"Stop being so excited," Sumiko said exasperatedly. "It is just a small B-ranked mission. We are not even conducting this mission as ANBU."

"What could hokage be thinking, sending us on this mission?" Ryusei thundered in distaste, fingering his headband. "Waste of time… It's a simple mission any Chunin squad could have done with ease. Are we being demoted here?"

"It is a bit degrading," I muttered, "but let's just get it over with. It will be finished in two days."

"Right," Sumiko and Ryusei said in unison with no excitement whatsoever.

After three hours of venturing into the forest uphill, my heart began to feel heavier in my chest, almost as if there was a stifling knot there in my ribcage. I stopped over the tallest tree and turned around to look back in the direction of Konoha. The forest was peaceful, with no signs of any suspicious activity; few late birds were chirping and trilling over the branches but their songs seemed a bit more high-pitched, on the edge, as if they were trying to tell me something. Inhaling deeply, I tried to picture the last time I had seen Itachi in the corridor of Hokage's building, his stride purposeful and strong, his eyes impassive as ever. He had stopped abruptly when he had seen me standing there in his way and for a moment, his eyes had wavered a bit. "You going on a mission?" he had asked coolly but I could detect the elusion in the way he held himself.

"Yeah," I had responded, surprised that he was actually talking to me when lately he had been going out of his way to avoid me.

He had expelled the breath almost as if with relief. "Good," was all he said.

"So you are finally talking to me, huh?" I couldn't help asking sarcastically.

His eyes narrowed. "Don't get ideas. This isn't _talking_."

"Are you," I had said hesitantly. "You won't be coming with us on this mission, captain?"

"No, I have another mission," he had replied apathetically, brushing against me a little as he walked past me.

My hands balled into fists at my sides. "What mission?"

"You should know better than asking me that," he had replied coldly. "Of course it is confidential,"

"Right, sorry."

I was about to stalk off when he had called my name, hesitantly, softly like a whisper of the night-breeze. There was urgency in his voice, a kind of pensiveness, a sadness that got to me. I whirled around with my hand over my chest, my heartbeat accelerating in anticipation. He looked a bit startled, as if he himself hadn't realized that he had called me but then he recovered quickly, his eyes turning a shade darker and colder, all the wistfulness evaporating.

"Goodbye, Miyuki."

In retrospect, as I thought about it, the things seemed far worse than they had initially. Itachi had seemed a bit deranged and unpredictable lately but the way he had called my name the last time I had seen him, it was almost as if he had needed me. Almost as if his eyes had been imploring me to stay, even when he was asking me to leave.

"What's wrong?" Ryusei asked me, furrowing his brow in concern.

"I…I think I will go back home," I mumbled.

"Go back? What about the mission?"

"You guys can handle the mission without me, can't you?" I said a bit testily. "It is a simple mission. Besides, I don't feel too good."

"You don't feel good?" Isamu exclaimed, clasping his hands together almost as if with delight. "What could it be? Are you having one of those 'women' problems, perhaps? Dysmenorrhea? First day of your menstrual cycle—"

"Shut up, it's not that!" I growled, resisting an urge to pummel him into the ground. Seriously, who made this clown a captain anyway? At this rate, he was going to mess up even a simple mission like this. "I am going back. You guys go on ahead. I will notify the Hokage myself."

"Aright," Ryusei nodded solemnly. "Go. Take care of yourself."

"Goodbye, and don't forget to use hot packs!" Isamu said cheerfully. "I have heard that they work wonders with the cramps and—Ow!" he cried out when Sumiko whacked him in the head.

I almost flew on my way back to Konoha and when I finally reached the gates, the dusk had begun to paint the world in its dark purple and vermillion hues. From the perimeter of horizons, the harvest moon was rising, surprisingly big and whole, fuller and rounder than I had ever seen it before. It was slightly tinged with red of sharingan and that was what unnerved me a bit. There was dark tranquility in the air that almost reminded me of the day before the Nine-tail attack, an ominous calm in the face of calamity. Something was definitely wrong.

The streets of Konoha seemed just like they always did. Nothing was out of place. Everyone was preparing for the Mid-autumn festival and the markets were more vivacious and colorful than ever. Vendors were selling mooncakes, calling out to the customers like always as if nothing was wrong. Maybe I was just getting paranoid, letting my thoughts run away with me. Maybe I didn't have to return after all.

Still feeling a bit wary, I climbed over the mountain all the way to Uchiha compound and heaved a sigh of relief when everything seemed to be normal there as well. I couldn't sense Itachi's chakra anywhere but he had probably left on that 'confidential' mission of his so I didn't need to worry too much about that. He was more than capable of handling it, although, without Shisui as his partner, things probably could get a bit rough for him… But there was nothing I could do about that.

Feeling considerably lighter, I trudged my way to Nisshoku shrine, relieved to find it empty because Obaa-san would have thrown a tantrum if she knew I was ditching my mission. So I sat over the roof with dango-stick in my hand, eating my dangos, and watching the reddish full-moon as it climbed higher in the dark celestial realms and became pearlescent silver once again.

That's when I heard first of the screams. Long, bloodcurdling and full of agony.

I immediately threw aside my dango-stick and with one hand on the ninja-gear, I sprinted in the direction of the sounds of screams, my heart thudding heavily in my chest with dread and foreboding. Instincts were wailing a warning in my mind, asking me to run away in another direction because one way or another, I wasn't meant to see this; there was a reason why I had been sent out on a mission tonight and deep down, I already knew what I was going to find there. Yet, my legs were taking me there, almost as if I was trapped in some terrifying dream. The wind whipping across my face was icy and carried a portent of doom.

When I reached there, I was already too late.

Blood. So much blood, glittering horrifically in the moonlight. Bodies lay there on the streets, in the houses, draped over the walls, with their faces twisted grotesquely in silent screams of terror, their fingers twisted into claws as if they had been trying, in their desperation, to land one blow on the monster who had done this to them. I could even see the faces of few Uchiha elders, those arrogant ones, so pitiful in their deaths. Dead mothers, curled around their dead children, the undried tears in their eyes flickering like stars. Even though this wasn't something new for me as a kunoichi, I still felt numb as I stumbled my way between the bodies with my lifeless legs, almost as if I wasn't really there, as if all this was just a terrible dream, but the wind—and the moonlight—seemed too real.

There was no chakra here, no survivors. Whoever had done this, he had been accomplished in the ways of killing, effectively and silently, almost like… I gulped in a mouthful of cold, raw air and scampered in the direction where I could still sense some chakra, but the screams, the terrorized shrieks preceded me and so did the killer. He was unbelievably fast and his chakra was completely hidden, almost as if he was some kind of phantom from nightmares.

I realized that I was headed closer to Itachi's house and my heart palpitated so wildly that it was almost out of control. Fear and terror had rendered me almost unable to think coherently and all I knew was that I had to go there before…before…

But that monster was so much faster than I could ever be and when I finally reached the Uchiha manor, I could sense no chakra. Everything was deathly still and screams had finally silenced, but the air was heavy, too heavy, with the stench of the blood and death. No longer bothering to swallow my trepidation, I inched closer, closer to the familiar house I had visited so many times before, the house where I have had few memories I could cherish—now, it was bathed in abysmal darkness. With sounds of my pants loud in my ears, I slid open the shogi-screen with trembling hands, to find two bodies on the floor.

Mikoto Uchiha, along with her husband draped over her body, as if he had been trying to protect her from the fiend who had done this. Her lifeless eyes stared back at me, the very same eyes where, I had seen so many times before, the traces of maternal affection and warmth, now all cold and dead. I clamped my hand tightly over my mouth, trying to swallow back the nausea that threatened to overpower me but just then, I sensed a chakra, slight and flickering, but definitely there. A little boy.

Sasuke!

I bolted from the house, as another wave of unadulterated fear ricocheted through my body. I scrambled out in the cold night again and found Sasuke's figure standing there in the middle of the street, shuddering heavily, his eyes wide with terror and panic, fixated over another figure standing not too far away from him, shadowed ominously in the dark night.

"You-You can't be my brother!" Sasuke stammered pitifully. "How…How could you kill Oto-san, Kaa-san? How…?"

My whole body quivered violently when the shadow stepped into the moonlight, ink-black hair fluttering around the familiar, handsome face, intense eyes glowing crimson, like some malicious, demonic being. Was this what he truly had been all along?

 _No!_ It had to be some kind of impersonator... It couldn't be him! It couldn't be him!

"Killing you now would just be a waste of time, foolish little brother," Itachi was saying in a cold, ruthless voice I didn't recognize at all. "If you wish to kill me, hate me, detest me and live in an unsightly way. Run… and keep running. Cling to your wretched life. And one day when you have same eyes as mine, come before me."

In his desperation, Sasuke clumsily flung a shuriken at his brother, to no avail, and then dropped down on the cold concrete, finally succumbing to the fear, losing his grip on reality.

Itachi turned around dispassionately without a glance at the brother he had claimed to love whole his life, because in reality, he had just been pretending to love him, just as he had been pretending in front of me as well, all this time, my whole life.

That terrible, terrible fear that had been embedded deep in my body like an icicle and had almost rendered me incapacitated, transformed into something else— raw, feral, unbridled rage.

 _Teishi Jikan!_

 _"Itachi!"_

With an aggrieved howl, I lunged forward and within a second, I was upon him. I barely took notice of the hot tears of betrayal streaming down my face, sobs raking my body as I swung my katana with vengeance, but he was faster, as always and had immediately blocked my blow with his own blade that was glinting sinisterly in the moonlight, with the blood of all he had slain tonight.

Even through the red haze of fury, I could see his eyes widen infinitesimally, almost as if in shock and then with a flick of his wrist, he drove me back, effectively trapping me with his strength. "I must admit," he said calmly, too calmly for a person who had just murdered his entire family, a traitor of his own blood, a savage _monster_ — "I am a bit surprised to see you. I was hoping we wouldn't meet tonight."

" _How could you_!" I wailed out and with a renewed burst of strength, I freed my blade and charged on him once again, this time with more precision and control. He was caught off-guard momentarily and my kick landed on his abdomen. He staggered back a bit, the distance between us restored.

He stood there; appraising me like a hawk would its prey, not saying anything, even as I continued to shiver almost pathetically under his cold, apathetic gaze. "Go. Run away," he said softly. "Pretend you didn't see anything. I do not intend to spill any more blood tonight."

"Spill more blood!" I spluttered out, panting heavily. "You killed your own mother, your own family! You _monster_ , you filthy coward... You…" There was no word in my dictionary that could convey the absolute, utter loathe I felt for him at that moment. "Is there anything left?" I whimpered brokenly. "You might as well kill the whole humanity and be done with it!"

"If you came after me, I will kill you," he said slowly, mercilessly. "I already slaughtered my entire family. Next to that, killing you would be nothing."

I dived at him again, not heeding his warning at all. Perhaps, I truly wanted him to kill me, because he had already destroyed everything else anyway. I did not—could not— continue to exist anymore because I had built my world around something that had been a lie to begin with and if that didn't exist, then how could I still continue to be?

"I will kill you myself!" I hissed with a swipe of my katana which he blocked yet again effortlessly and as our metal blades connected forcefully, sparks flew in the dark night, startling me. "I vowed to never let you become a monster!"

 _I will kill you…_

 _And then kill myself._

Dropping down my sword, I immediately skidded away from him, getting my bearing, and clapped my hands together. " _Gale palm_!" I yelled and then there was a huge blast of wind, laced with my chakra. Through the flurry of dust and leaves, I could see Itachi scrambling back, taken aback by my jutsu and wasting no time, I used Teishi Jikan to appear right before him, kicking his cheek nastily. The blood trickling down the side of mouth gave me little to no satisfaction, because I really did want him to suffer— _horrifically_ —I wanted him to suffer from thousand years of agony of betrayal he had inflicted on everyone tonight.

With a kunai in my hand, I came at him again, using my Teishi Jikan without restraint, feeling my fingers sizzle with anticipation as my blade neared his throat… But just then his hand shot out and imprisoned my wrist in a punishing grip with my hand an inch away from my jugular.

"I approve," he said, mocking me. "You really did intend to kill me with this last attack of yours, however…"

Callously, he kicked me in the stomach and I flew backward, landing indecorously on the hard concrete, clutching my abdomen in pain. I tasted the metal stench of blood on my tongue and gagged. Pushing away the wisps of my hair, I watched him as he stood there, eyes shimmering red of blood.

"You will not be the one to kill me," he said menacingly. "It would be in your best interest to never appear in front of me again. This is your only warning."

" _Why?"_

Wrapping my arms around my shuddering form, I sat there on my knees. Suddenly I felt too exhausted, almost unable to move, with my limbs so heavy... so damn cold and heavy. I couldn't bear to look in his eyes, those cold, callous, cruel eyes, impervious to anything and everything that I was, everything that had existed between us—nothing mattered to him anymore. "Why…" It was all I seemed capable of saying. "Why?"

"For the greater good."

His words didn't make any sense to me. He turned around and I stared at his retreating back until tears blurred my vision.

"Why?" I snarled, my fingers clawing at the concrete in panic that he was leaving, just like that. "All this time _, everything_ —it meant nothing to you? I believed in you! I would have died for you! I… I _loved_ you!"

Suddenly, I felt myself being lifted off the ground and the wind was roaring in my ears— Itachi slammed me hard against the wall, his hand tight around my throat, his whole body pressed against mine. He finally seemed to have lost all his composure. I took a look at his eyes, the dark intensity, uncontainable fury—Mangekyou sharingan. I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to look any more, as if closing my eyes like this would shut out this terrifying reality, as if it would save me from the truth.

"Look at me," he said.

Quietly, insistently, relentlessly.

My eyes remained close.

I could feel him against me, his familiar scent of fire and rain, his breath against the shell of my ear, sending icy chills down my back, his heartbeat thrumming erratically against my chest. He was so tangible at that moment. Despite everything, he was still the same Itachi... He was the same. Yes, I could feel him there... Almost...

His fingers dug painfully in my throat until I winced. "Open your eyes," he growled; his voice acerbic, scornful. "Look at the monster you so loved."

Slowly, achingly, my eyelids fluttered open and I took in his familiar face, the face that once had ability to make me smile for no reason by the kindness and sincerity I always saw there, the eyes that had protected me from all my fears... But now, there was only cruelty etched in there, hardening its beautiful contours. He carried only darkness within him, almost as if he was the very personification of all my fears.

"No," I whispered almost wearily.

"You are a fool, Miyuki," he said scathingly. "All this time, you were in love with nothing but an illusion."

I shook my head vehemently, hoping it would pass quickly, whatever it was. "No."

His eyes widened in disbelief and his fingers around my neck tightened marginally until I started coughing. "No?" he spat out. "Can you not see my family's blood on my hands? Did you not hear them scream as I drove my blade into their chests? I could kill you right now, with no remorse whatsoever." His thumbnail dug into my flesh. "Will you understand then?"

His fingers around my throat squeezed with unrelenting pressure now and I reached up to claw his fingers away. Gasping for breath, I slammed my knee hard into his flank. Taken by surprise, he let go of my throat for a fleeting moment but that was all I needed to gather my sanity and make hand-signs for Teishi Jikan.

It would be over soon. I could feel it in my bones...

The moment the time stood still, I flew to my left to retrieve my fallen katana lying on the concrete. But I was still too deep in emotional turmoil to maintain Teishi Jikan for long.

When the time returned, I saw Itachi standing there with his sword already unsheathed and drawn, his blood-red eyes more focused than ever and his coal-black hair fluttering gently in the poison air. I clutched the handle of my sword tightly. How beautiful he looked even now.

"It's really not the death I had wanted for either of us," I said, raising my sword and levelling it with his- signature ANBU stance. I felt much more composed now that I had already accepted my fate. "But as a kunoichi of Konoha and as someone who had always been sincere to you, I can't let you walk away. One of us has to die tonight."

He narrowed his eyes. "It will be you. I can promise you that."

Not bothering to hide how much his words wounded me, I charged at him with an anguished howl. But just then, the world around me seemed to spin like a red kaleidoscope before it shattered into million pieces. _Mangekyou Sharingan!_ The night melted away. I heard crows wailing like a siren over my head and then cacophony of thousand human screams of terrible agony, filling me from inside before I felt the actual pain. So much pain, terrible, searing white agony...I had been stabbed several times before, but nothing could possibly compare to the pain of being stabbed by someone you had always believed in and loved, to the point that you would have readily died for him a thousand times over. I could feel my sword bury into his flesh too but I could tell that it wasn't enough to kill him.

He had won.

I blinked open my eyes glazed with tears and pain to meet his red one, so close to me now. I felt like I was looking at him underwater and I desperately wished that I could see his eyes more clearly in these most defining moments of my life.

"Itachi." A prayer.

I could feel his hand around my shoulder, supporting my limp body as he lowered me to the ground. My mouth filled with blood and I coughed. I could tell that I was losing blood fast and soon... soon... I blinked again and again, fighting away the talons of unconsciousness. If I only I could see his face...

I felt his hair cascade against my forehead as he leaned down, the texture cool and smooth. His warm breath brushed against my cold, quivering lips and for the moment, my vision cleared. He was saying something and I had to strain my ears to hear it.

"Miyuki." Just my name. A whisper. An echo.

I reached out with tremulous hand and ran my fingers up his cheek, reaching the corner of his eyes, until my skin caught the wetness there. A single tear glistened over my fingertips, like a small diamond caught in the moonlight.

For a second, our eyes connected. But then those pinwheels of his Sharingan were swirling yet again until I could feel his fury, his desperation, his grief…

His _pain. E_ xcruciating pain, surging through me.

Then everything went black.

 _Forgive me, Miyuki._

* * *

 _..._

 _Shisui,_

 _I do not know what madness drove me to write your name on the top of this page, when I can hardly even remember your face. I know that these words will never reach you, or any other soul for that matter, and I also know that I must burn this letter after I have written it and watch as the tongues of flames lick away and purge the thoughts that must never come to surface._

 _Like I said, I cannot picture yours or anyone's face anymore for that matter. Some nights when I sit here alone under a willow tree with a waning moon swimming in my sake cup, I remember few details. I remember how we first learnt to drink together. I remember Sasuke's smile. I remember Miyuki's touch. I suppose memory works in the most mystifying ways; you cannot help but remember what you want to forget the most and you forget what you truly want to remember._

 _You know why I chose a sword as a weapon of my choice that night, don't you? You might think me a sick bastard for this, but I wanted to_ feel _their death-rattle in my arm each time I drove my blade into their hearts; I wanted the spray of their blood to taint my hands... You see, I had to make them see my face clearly before I sent them each to their graves. I needed their tortured souls to curse me till the very end of my miserable life. As a heartless slayer of my own kin and a traitor to my own blood, I owed it to them- to my mother- to make the deed as hard for myself as possible. I must suffer... For the happiness I stole from them._

 _And cursed I am, for their faces are the only faces I do remember- the faces of the dead. I cannot picture you, or Miyuki, or Sasuke, or even Konoha for that matter. Why, Shisui, when everything I did was for Konoha and all of you? But it is always only,_ only _their damn corpses. Everything I drink or taste reeks of blood and decay. Hell, even the ink I am using to write these words with looks red to me, each sentence a string of barbed wire. All I see is their dead eyes, telling me all the times that I have no right to even seek out atonement. And tell me, with what face can I ask for forgiveness, Shisui, when my sin is already beyond it? Why, Shisui, when even in hell a sinner is allowed to repent? Am I in a place that exists even beyond hell?_

 _And what is beyond hell?_

 _What place is there for a man like me? An agent of chaos? A monster beyond salvation?_

 _Where do I go from here, Shisui?_

 _If I cannot even hope for atonement, then what awaits me at the end of this journey? I know why I feel so lost all the times. If you were alive, you would perhaps laugh at me and then challenge me to a spar or a drinking contest. But you are no longer here._

 _I suppose I don't have the right to complain. I chose this loneliness after all, even though she said she would come with me. Even though she said that she loved me. That she would have died for a man as hollow as me. When I was in Konoha, she wasn't the first person that came to my mind when I woke up in the morning, but she was always there in the aftermath when everything was over. My last thought. Always at the end of my journey._

 _Miyuki._

 _And even now, perhaps, I am still foolishly searching for her._

 _But I, who is beyond redemption, should not have the luxury to even think about her in this bleak moment of my life. Does my selfishness know no limits? She is nothing to me but a dream of salvation that is no longer mine to seek. Yet, I continue to hang on to her, just the way she selflessly continues to hang on to me. Why is it that only in her eyes was I ever forgiven? Even after she witnessed me slaughter my entire clan that night. Even after she saw me at my worst. Even then._

 _But like I said, I am already on a road that exists beyond hell. I have no right to revel in the simple contentment a mere memory of her face or her touch brings to my mind. I must not look for her at the end of this journey; she is no longer my destination._

 _And so, I will forget her and bear this burden alone. I only ask you to lend me more strength, Shisui. Please, watch over me._

 _Itachi._

* * *

 **A/N** : I am so so sorry for the late update. Life has been too hectic lately, but I won't make any excuses. Literally, I had to write few paragraphs of this in the labor room, surrounded by all the pregnant women... Oh well. This chapter was like a huge serpent... so hard to write! I even considered making Miyuki go with him, just like many of you wanted me to but in the end, I believe that Itachi MUST massacre his clan and this is one journey he must make ALONE because this is what defines him. Don't you think? I know I am being cruel, but let's face it. The dude just massacred his entire clan. He needs some time alone to gather his thoughts and decide what he can do to atone for his sins and move over such tragedy, because I believe that when you are going through hard time, only you and only you can truly rescue yourself no matter how many sincere people you surround yourself with (oh yeah, this is my life philosophy). But don't lose hope yet, because I got plans for my Miyuki as well. ㈴1 Just wait. You will see.

Thank you for waiting so patiently and reading up till now. You have no idea how happy I am that you stuck around. Let me know what you think.

 **~AnEveningMoth**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

" _Anger is like flowing water; there's nothing wrong with it as long as you let it flow. Hate is like stagnant water; anger that you denied yourself the freedom to feel, the freedom to flow; water that you gathered in one place and left to forget. Stagnant water becomes dirty, stinky, disease-ridden, poisonous, deadly; that is your hate. On flowing water travels little paper boats; paper boats of forgiveness. Allow yourself to feel anger, allow your waters to flow, along with all the paper boats of forgiveness. Be human."  
― C. JoyBell C._

* * *

 _I remember the first time you said my name._

 _It was snowing._

 _Konoha isn't known for the coldest winters but whenever the sky finally shatters and falls down on us in one of those unprecedented moments, in form of tiny, glittery fluffs, it is like magic. As if a miracle is happening._

 _Just like the snowflakes, you were a miracle too._

 _Back then, we were both so tiny and our faces were flushed scarlet with biting cold. We sat over the hills as the snow began to pile on us. I laughed with excitement as more pieces of the sky trickled down and I caught them over my tongue; pure was the taste of the moment. White extended from horizon to horizon, down the slopes; white crystals froze over the branches of the silent trees and winked and shimmered, like our dreams. White was everywhere._

 _White was our life then, the pages blank, unwritten at that time._

 _Who was to know that the words would soon be written in ink of blood?_

 _That thaw will break one day and the trail of little footsteps we had made together in the snow would disappear forever?_

" _Miyuki," you said suddenly, spontaneously and I looked at you in pleasant surprise._

 _But you weren't looking at me. You were looking up at the snow as it fell and I knew at that moment that our lives were going to be entwined. Irrevocably._

 _And I made a vow; no matter how many times the skies fell, I would stand by you._

 _I smiled widely._

 _Miyuki._

 _Deep snow._

 _My name surrounded us._

 _I wondered why I was so happy, even when the sky over us was slowly shattering._

* * *

I don't live in the past anymore; I can't afford to.

But sometimes I remember.

Reminiscence is like a ride down a waterfall. At first, it is beautiful; there are rainbows and the sunlight shimmers so beguilingly over the droplets and the song of the waters is sweet. But as I fall deeper under gravity, these waters start sucking me in, like a black-hole; the music of nature transform into countless screams of agony and at the very end, I hit the rock-bottom. My whole body breaks, shatters into million pieces and poisonous, black waters enter me from every orifice. Cruel arms of those clandestine monsters of my fate ensnare me and submerge me in.

Then there is only darkness.

….

"Miyuki?"

My eyeballs moved slightly under my eyelids but I didn't open them yet. I felt strangely woozy and light, recognizing the disabling effects of sleeping drugs Hana had injected into my veins. I moaned slightly, voicing my indignation, my hands twitching towards the IV-cannula I could feel over my arm but I didn't have enough strength to yank it off.

"Fainted again," I could hear Hana sighing. "Malnutrition and overwork… has not been eating, training relentlessly to make it worse. Not enough sleep either."

"What are we going to do with her?" Ryusei groaned. "She trains as if she wants to kill herself. It's not doing any good to her, you know."

"…Post-traumatic-stress syndrome? All because of that _bastard_. Wait till I get my hands on him…"

"…got loads of bounty over his head. We will be rich!"

"Ryusei! As if you aren't already rich enough!"

"I can hear you, you know," I said dully, finally lifting my heavy eyelids to look at their alarmed faces. They exchanged wary glances with each other, the way they always did, as if I was something unstable, grenade about to blast any moment.

"Why do you train so much?" Ryusei demanded, his tone chiding, lined with concern. "You have already surpassed me a long time ago. Isn't that enough for you?"

I closed my eyes again. "I… I need to get stronger," I said lamely.

"Stronger?" Hana scoffed. "Hate to break it to you but you won't be getting any stronger if you don't eat anything. You are suffering from Grade I malnutrition; it is impossible for you to have any real tone in your muscles at this moment!"

I felt too tired to dig for witty rejoinders so I settled for an unrepentant apology; I just didn't feel like dealing with their endless nagging right now. They didn't get it. I wasn't training to get stronger anyway.

"It has already been a year," Hana said cautiously. "Forget everything... You are still _alive._ You still have life ahead of you. You don't have to ruin yourself for _him_. He isn't worth it."

"…I know."

Hana and Ryusei both took audible sighs of relief; it irked me but I didn't let it show.

"I will be making your diet plan this time," Hana said fiercely. "I will make sure you eat every single damn thing I ask you to eat, even if I have to ram everything down your throat. And if you resist, I am going to knock you out and put you on NG-tube!"

My eyes immediately snapped open. "You wouldn't dare!"

"I can and I will," she said smugly, folding her arms across her chest. "I am a doctor and I have the authority. Moreover, I don't give a shit about your dignity."

They made me stay at Konoha hospital for few days, during which Hana diligently pumped supplements into my system intravenously and forced me to eat, resorting to threatening me with scary things like NG-tube or urinary catheters whenever I complained. Her Haimaru brothers kept me accompanied whenever she was busy with other patients or animals (since she was a veterinarian as well) and sometimes, Ryusei would drop by to see me.

Sometimes, I would just sit, reclining against the white pillows, staring unseeingly out of the window, my eyes faraway. Other times, the cloud of gloom would pass and I would pay more attention to my surroundings. I would allow myself to grow serene and would laugh and respond as Hana and Ryusei chattered on incessantly, filling me in with details of mundane, inconsequential events happening in Konoha, which was really nice and all but did they seriously think that I cared about who was dating who? They bickered a lot, just the way they always did and that kept me amused. I could tell that they had grown much closer after Shisui's death and at times, their relationship made me jealous; they couldn't possibly understand the loneliness that was embedded deep into me like an icicle, a physical thing.

I genuinely tried to overcome the distance between us, just the way they tried as well, but it just wasn't that easy. Sometimes when I was in their presence, laughing and chatting, I would start forgetting… but when the night came and all was still and silent, everything would return, in more intense form. Sometimes it would leave me paralyzed.

"Miyuki?" Hana said my name tremulously on the seventh day, standing there with a stethoscope around her neck. I immediately recognized the guilt written all over her face.

I groaned. "What did you do?"

"Um, I might have mentioned to my mother that you were admitted in the hospital due to malnutrition."

I gulped warily. "And?"

"And she is on her way here with a hot pot."

Ryusei, who had been leaning against the wall, straightened up abruptly, his eyes flickering towards the window, the nearest escape.

I grabbed the head-board of my bed, trying to stabilize myself from the shock. "Discharge me right now!"

"Too late," she said contritely. "I am really sorry but she is already—"

Just then, the door flew open, nearly unhinged with the force being applied to it from outside. Tsume Inuzuka stood there in all her glory, with her wild, unruly hair framing the harsh lines of her face and her eyes narrowing with displeasure at us. "Look at you three!" she laughed and her voice was like a bark of hyenas. "Scared out of your wits! Don't worry; I don't bite as hard as my Kuromaru!"

Hana immediately flashed us both rueful looks.

Kiba, Hana's eight-years-old brother, gave me a long, disgruntled look from where he stood in the doorway, since I was the reason why he had been dragged here against his will when he could have been playing ninja with his friends outside.

"Oh look at you, poor little thing!" Hana's mother boomed as she took me in. "So thin and slight! How can you be a ninja if you don't even have girth around your muscles?" She slammed the hotpot down hard on the table in front of me. "Not to worry though! One bite of my special beef onigiri and egg-rolls you will be up in no time! I took the recipe from Aoi Akimichi, my good friend!"

"Thank you for your effort," I mumbled with some embarrassment, flashing furtive glare at Hana who cowered back, genuinely apologetic.

At least I could get something out of this; Tsume Inuzuka was a wonderful cook and her food tasted almost divine after all the days of stress-induced anorexia I had been through but after a while of chewing, it started to lose its taste somewhat. I sat there, scowling at the food… _No don't think about it,_ I told myself firmly. _Not now_. _Not here_.

"So tell me, Ryusei!" Tsume bellowed, slapping him on his back so hard that a chicken wing he had been trying to chew flew out of his mouth like a bullet. "When are you going to ask for my daughter's hand in marriage?"

I almost choked on my onigiri, coughing to clear up my obstructed pathways while Ryusei just stood there in daze, looking as if he had been struck by lightning.

" _Kaa-san_!" Hana moaned, her face flaring hundred shades of red with mortification. "What are you saying? I am just seventeen!"

"Ryusei is of age, isn't he?" she shot back as she voraciously ripped through the roasted beef with her sharp, pointed teeth. "Aren't you? Answer me boy!"

"I…" Ryusei started but then he clamped his mouth shut; I had a feeling that he was going into shock.

"You like my daughter, don't you?"

" _Kaa-san_!" Hana squealed, going even more scarlet in face if that was even possible. "We don't have anything going on! He doesn't like me _that_ way."

"Nonsense!" she barked. "I can see the way he looks at you… When are you going to man up and confess, Ryusei, huh? Are you scared of my daughter?"

"Okaa-san," Kiba said exasperatedly. "You are going to scare him off too, just like you scared off Oto-san."

"You brat! How dare you even suggest such a thing? Your father ran away because he was a coward and consequently not even worthy of my time! Are you going to be a coward as well, Ryusei?"

"Keep it down!" Hana snapped at her mother. "This is hospital. All this yelling isn't good for the patients!"

"Fine, young lady! But we will be continuing with this conversation at home!"

….

They discharged me ten days later and I could feel the familiar bleakness encroaching as I walked my way uphill on the familiar trail to Nisshoku shrine. Too many memories were etched here in every corner and they lingered, like ghosts, like dust. Brutally, I forced myself not to think about it and focused on my stride; one lethargic step after another.

Uchiha compound was like a retreat for bats and spiders that had spun their gossamer cobwebs everywhere; the air was always chilly here as if the people who had lost their lives here that fateful night never really left this place. The autumn-kissed, star-shaped leaves patrolled the deserted streets wistfully, thrown about by the idle gusts of wind and for a while I just stood there, staring plaintively at the Uchiha symbol engraved over the wall, cracked, where _his_ kunai had struck it a year ago.

That's what he left behind. Cracks.

Forcing back a wave of nausea, I purposefully strode up at the Uchiha main-house and knocked the door gingerly. For a long time, nobody answered and then I heard soft, listless footfall, echoing in the silence of the house. The door creaked open and two grumpy-looking yet terrifyingly familiar onyx eyes peered up at me. "Miyuki?" he said sourly, "What are you doing here? I thought you were gone for good."

I immediately recovered from the unnerving spell his eyes had casted on me and managed a chastising glare. "Is that something you say to someone who came all the way here to see you?" I said. "Your manners are bad as ever, Sasuke."

"Stop acting like my mom!" he snapped, scowling. "You are not… _her._ "

This time, he was firmly looking away from me, his eyes darkening, eyes that had already seen too much, eyes that no longer carried the innocence I had always found there, eyes that were utterly lost. "That's right, you brat, I am not your mother," I scoffed. "If I was your mother, I would have spanked you for your bad behavior."

"My mother never spanked me!"

My eyes softened. "I know," I sighed, reaching forward to ruffle up his hair but over the years, he had learnt quite dexterously the tricks to avoid the hand that would always grope at his hair. "I brought you a bento box. Hana's mother made it and I can't eat it all… So, how about we eat it together?"

"I am going to train," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "Kids like you don't train. They _play._ "

"I am not like others… I need to train. I need to get stronger to…to be able to…"

Suddenly his stomach gave a loud growl and all the intensity disappeared from his eyes; he looked faintly embarrassed and scowled when I started laughing. "Let's go, brat. You are eating, like it or not… Or I will knock you out and put you on NG tube."

"What's that?"

"Hana says it's a long snake that apparently crawls into your stomach through your nose and pukes out stuff you can digest."

He gave me a death glare. "Miyuki," he said. "I am not a child."

"Sure you are not, brat," I chortled. "Tell you what; let's eat together. Then I will help you with your little training too."

He finally acquiesced and led me outside on a pier over a lake, never inside, never where his family once used to have meals and though his eyes had lit up once over the aspect of getting to train with me, presently, he sat there chewing robotically with a deadened look in his eyes. That overwhelming pity I had always felt for this boy would sometimes be overpowered by intense jealousy, because he still had something to live for; he existed as an empty shell, only so that he could bring the demise of a brother who had betrayed him and had crushed any chance of happiness he could have had. At least, he could live for revenge. I couldn't even do that.

What did I live for?

" _You won't be the one who kills me."_

But Lord, how much I wanted to… Sometimes, I would dream about it, not striking him down with kunai from far away, but something more _intimate_ , like wrapping my hands around his neck and squeezing the very life out of him, letting him see my eyes as I killed him…

He had not killed me that night. Probably because I was not an Uchiha and so consequently, not even worth killing.

This revenge was Sasuke's, not mine.

I tried to tell myself that.

Yet, I didn't think I would care if I ever saw those damned, blood-red eyes of his again.

After the small training session with Sasuke, I slowly, finally decided to make my way back to Nisshoku shrine, trying to force away another wave of bleakness that started gnawing at my stomach as I languidly climbed up the long staircase with hundred owl-gargoyles staring at me. The house was all silent but that was to be expected. I found Obaa-san sitting over a porch, staring into space with a profound, haunted look in her eyes.

"Tadaima," I said, trying to force my lips into a wide smile.

"Okairi," she said monotonously. "How was the mission?"

She didn't even realize that I had just been admitted to Konoha hospital and had just assumed that I had been on some mission due to my absence from home. Well, I planned to keep it that way. "It went fine," I lied.

It was surprising that after the Uchiha massacre, she seemed to have gone into an even bigger trance than I was in. Not only had she resigned from the Konoha's council, she had even stopped practicing medicine and had given up on her healing entirely. She no longer found faults in me and no longer bothered to nag me. All day long, she would sit there silently in the lonely corners of Nisshoku shrine, eyes staring at nothing, almost as if she had already given up on life. That scared me the most.

I was done losing people.

"Obaa-san," I said. "Aren't you going to eat? I will make your favorite cabbage onigiri."

"No, child," she said wearily. "I am not hungry."

"Obaa-san," I whined. "Why are you always sitting there like this, like an old ghoul? Are you going through your old-age rebellious stage or something?"

She lifted her deadened eyes at me. "Miyuki," she said sharply. "Go take a bath. You are filthy. And stop pestering me."

Like a child who had been chastised, I stomped to my room and slid the shogi screen shut with enough force to rattle the whole wall. As always, my heart sank as I took in the familiar contours of the room, bathed in pale, cold twilight. For a while, I felt as if the loneliness was almost a physical thing, sitting there on my futon, always waiting for me like some persistent ghost, to haunt me, to embrace me whenever I was alone like this. Sometimes, I welcomed it but other times, it just left me cold and chilled to my bones.

I looked myself in the mirror, at the dark shadows under my eyes, my skin tight over my cheekbones, my eyes hollow, my ribs visible under my skin and my arms twig-like. I was anything but pretty. Sighing, I took off the Konoha headband, which ironically enough, had once been Itachi's. It was unscratched, unmarred and pristine, so unlike its owner once.

I wondered why I didn't throw it away in the Naka River and asked for the new one.

There were, of course, several reasons for that.

It was to remind me of that night, of the death, of the pain, of that inconceivable betrayal when all I had ever done was to trust in him blindly, so gullibly until I had descended into abyss. Until he had burnt me down into my madness.

That was why I kept it on my forehead, to rise from ashes like a phoenix. Or so I told myself.

But other times, I would find myself forgetting, slipping into that hazy time when he really was unmarred and sincere, just like this headband, when our memories were untarnished by blood, when my heart would fill with warm feelings whenever I saw his face, when the sounds of his companionable footsteps were as familiar to me as my own heartbeat… It was so easy to forget then, to long to see his face, just _once more_. As if he could save me from this excruciating pain and loneliness, even when he was the cause of it in the first place.

 _You have never meant anything to me._

… _Foolish, Miyuki._

 _No!_

For the umpteenth time, I wrapped my arms around my trembling knees and tried to summon the unbridled rage, that would usually subdue all the grief and pain, but today, I had no energy. Tomorrow, I would put an end to this shameful weakness.

Tomorrow, I would rise.

But not today.

…...

"Fukuro," I heard Isamu's 'captain' voice in my earpiece, strong, clear and unwavering, so unlike his usual clownish voice. "You and Hyuuga will go after those Kirigakure strays. They are currently fleeing with the forbidden Kuro scroll towards the western border. Do not let them escape with it and do whatever it takes to stop them, even if it means killing them. Do you copy?"

"Hai, captain."

I took a swoop down the tree and sent my chakra pulses through the wind, already on the trail of the enemy with Ryusei close behind me. We increased our speed three-folds, concealed our chakra impeccably and soon, we were met with enemy's retreating backs with the scroll tucked in one's elbow.

"Take three on the left," I shouted to Ryusei. "I will get rid of three on right and get the scroll."

Five minutes later, the three on the right were on the ground; two of them were already dead while one was looking back at me with his eyes wide and full of terror. "Y-You are the F-Fukuro demoness."

"That's right," I said coolly and then drove my sword through his chest, watching him as he let out a pained, guttural cry and for a moment, _his_ face superimposed over this man's; his beautiful, haunting face twisting in agony as I killed him…

"Miyuki!" Ryusei thundered. "You killed their leader as well? Are you out of your mind?"

"I couldn't let him live."

"But we needed him for interrogation!" he protested. "We could have captured him alive and gathered more Intel and you killed him?"

"He tortured and killed ten children and then tried to steal their kekkei genkai with that forbidden scroll," I snarled indignantly, glaring at Ryusei's ANBU mask. "I couldn't risk him escaping... Moreover, I cannot allow such monsters to walk this earth and…" I let my voice trail off.

"You have gotten heartless, Miyuki," Ryusei said quietly. "Few years ago, you couldn't take anyone's life and now…"

I sheathed my sword, trying not to wince as pain shot in my broken wrist. I tried to force back a wave of nausea and dizziness as I took in the blood marring my clothes, of the men I had just taken lives of, but then my eyes hardened.

"Some people deserve to die," I said simply. We both knew who I was talking about.

"We humans have no right to pass judgments."

I froze in midstride. Was I losing my moral compass too now? How much more was I going to lose because of him?

"Miyuki…" Ryusei said. "It has already been years. Are you still thinking about _him?_ "

"…Of course not."

"Then—"

"Let's hurry back," I said firmly, cutting him off. "I promised Sasuke I will make it back in time for his match in Chunin exams."

When we reached Konoha, the whole valley was shrouded in smoke. Towers of fire stood, looming towards the hazy skies where embers fluttered like fireflies and under the earth-shattering sounds of explosions, I could hear cacophony of screams, resounding through every corner. I stood there over a tree, yards away from the confines of the village, frozen and petrified, my heartbeat accelerating to a point that I could almost hear the blood pumping in my ears.

" _What's happening_?"

"I don't know!" Ryusei muttered, his pearl-white eyes immediately transforming into his Byakugan. A moment later, his eyes widened with fright. "It… It's Orochimaru!" he stammered. "He is fighting the Lord Sandaime and—"

Suddenly, Sumiko appeared in the thin air right in front of us. "My beetles sensed that you were near," she said with urgency in her voice. "Let's go. Follow me. Our squad has been stationed at Zone 3. That's where we need to fight."

"What's happening?"

"Our allies Sunagakure betrayed us," she said. "They sided with Orochimaru and attacked us in the middle of the Chunin exams. It's a war."

 _War._

" _I will make it so that you will never have to see a war in your lifetime."_

 _Liar._

I didn't know why his words suddenly struck my mind, almost like lightning. He had gone back on every promise that he had ever made to me and at this point, I wouldn't have been surprised if he was directly behind this war. My parent's faces flashed briefly in my mind.

 _Few years of peace,_ I thought sadly. _That's all you bought with your lives as price. That's all your life was worth._

In me, awoke a strange, powerful emotion as I walked through the demolished streets of Konoha with few corpses littering the streets, dead to the world as the stench of blood and singed flesh saturated the air. For a while, I was transported back into that fateful night, when I had seen so many slaughtered bodies lying on the cold concrete like this and the man who had been responsible for that catastrophe, had been no other than my childhood friend who I had trusted implicitly. I could feel the fury tingling in my fingertips, like an insurgence shuddering through my entity, almost as if the years of repressed pain and vengefulness were finally surfacing, in an even uglier, viler form.

There was no humanity left in this world.

The realization struck me. If the world was still like this, then what did my parents give up their lives for?

"Let's go," I could hear the spiteful, acerbic growl in my voice. "I will show no mercy to those who do harm to Konoha!"

Just then I realized that I had sounded just like Itachi…

Before he had gone and betrayed Konoha and his clan in the worst possible way and had become an S-class missing-nin.

….

"So the great, mighty Uchiha is jealous of Naruto," I noted dryly as I sat there, taking a spoonful of my miso-soup.

"No I am not!" Sasuke protested indignantly. "That usuratonkachi just got lucky."

"You know that wasn't the case," I said calmly. "You lost to Gaara of the Sand, and so consequently, to Naruto because of your curse mark. You failed to keep it under control."

"I have been trying," he muttered.

"To think that Orochimaru put something as disgusting and vile as that on you..." I shuddered. "And to think that you actually managed to catch fancy of that sick bastard. Well, it is not a surprise… I heard all about it from Anko. Orochimaru is known to have perverse tastes and borderline pedophilic tendencies. His favorite pastime is going after young, fresh bodies like yours…"

"Miyuki!" he winced. "Shut up already. That's disgusting."

I smiled. "So, I am creeping you out, eh? Well, you better watch out. That curse seal he placed on you is no small deal... He will offer you power and come after you. You need to stay true to yourself."

"I know," he mumbled. "Kakashi told me all about it."

"That's Kakashi-sensei, you brat, and it is already bad enough that you don't call me senpai even though I am older than you. When are you going to learn some manners?"

"I don't manners to defeat him."

Suddenly, the ambience shifted and light air between us turned heavier and colder. "Right," I said slowly. "You don't need manners to defeat him, but what about after you have taken your revenge? Don't you need to get on with your life? You can't stay like this forever."

"Speak for yourself!" he snapped.

"There is nothing wrong with me," I insisted obstinately.

"Nothing wrong with you!" he retorted. "Take a good look at yourself before lecturing me. All you ever do is train and go on missions, like a zombie."

"At least I have better manners than you do, brat," I scoffed, as always, resorting to childish bickering, even though I knew I was too old for that. "Besides, weren't you going to restore your clan? You need a girl for that, you know."

"I know," he muttered testily, angling his face away, obviously embarrassed.

"Well, than you should also know that no girl is going to like you with that attitude of yours."

That wasn't entirely true, judging from the number of fangirls he had in Konoha, despite his uncouth mouth and aloof demeanor. The number almost rivaled Itachi's fangirls back then and Itachi had at least been polite. But I knew that it wasn't his looks or even his status as the last Uchiha that drew girls to him like ants to sugar; it was pity.

"Hn," he snorted but I could still sense his embarrassment. "Stop talking nonsense, Miyuki."

I heaved a sigh and went on to sip my soup, finally a bit at peace after the war was over. Presently, I realized that Sasuke was balling his hands into fists, his tendons protruding and his lips pushed into hard line. "Spit it out, Sasuke," I said wearily.

"Why do you care?" he whispered. "Why can't you all just leave me be? Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, you... I am an avenger. I can't afford these bonds. These are just going to make me weak... You know I need strength to defeat him, so why do you keep hanging on to me? I don't need any of you... You are not my mother. She is dead."

"I never said I was your mother and I certainly never thought of you as my son," I said coolly. "I am too young for that anyway. Perhaps, you are the one confusing me with your mother? Don't get carried away, brat. I only do this, because you are the only one who understands me, because you were also betrayed by him... And we share the same dream of watching him die a horrible death... There is nothing more, nothing less to it."

"If you want to see him dead so badly then why don't you seek him out and kill him yourself?" I didn't miss the note of derision in his voice. "Is it because you think you are too weak, or is it because you actually don't really want to see him die? You had feelings for him, didn't you?"

"Not anymore," I responded dispassionately. "I assure you, little Sasuke, whatever feelings I might have had for him once have been transformed into hate and only hate."

"Then why won't you seek him out?"

"It's because I have already been in the boat of revenge once. You see, I already killed the murderer of my parents. Honestly, I don't think I can do it again… It's tiring."

Suddenly, he seemed to be looking at me in the new light and his expressions were enthralled, as if he was beholding his long-cherished hero and role-model. "How did you feel after that?" he asked eagerly as he leaned forward. I didn't miss a covetous gleam in his eyes.

"Dead," I said. "Empty. Cold."

"...Was it still worth it?"

"Yes," I answered truthfully. "Of course it was worth it... Revenge is almost always worth it even if it lands you in hell."

"Kakashi says that I should give up on it," Sasuke said. "But he just doesn't understand... None of them will, until it happened to them."

For some reasons, it made a demented sort of laughter escape my lips. "No, Sasuke," I said, still chortling. " _We_ who don't understand. In reality, we are the ones foolish and mad enough to be seeking revenge... Your brother screwed us up real bad, to the point that we can only think of him all day long. If we were wise, we wouldn't have given up on our lives for him. We would have forgotten all about him and wasted no time or thought on him, because that's what he truly deserves. But here we are, destroying our lives for him once again... He _possesses_ us even now, just the way he always did back then. He will _always_ possess us. Do you see it now? We are both pathetic, aren't we?"

I realized that Sasuke was scowling hard at his balled hands. "I don't know about that," he said. "All I know is that I have to kill him. I am an avenger, after all."

"Oi, Sasuke!" A loud, deafening voice resonated through the Ichiraku's and Sasuke grimaced. "Here you are! We have been looking all over for you, dattebayo! Good thing you are here at Ichiraku's. Now you can pay for my ramen."

"Shut up, Naruto!" A strawberry-milk haired Sakura hissed and whacked his sunshiny head. "You cannot make Sasuke-kun pay for your ramen all the times."

Sasuke heaved a tired sigh. "I am out of here," he announced.

"Where do you think you are going, you miserly asshole?" Naruto called out. "Pay for my ramen first! I am hungry!"

"Don't call Sasuke-kun miserly!" Sakura yelled and then proceeded to look at Sasuke with sparkly, admiring eyes, which unmistakably belonged to a fangirl.

"Pay yourself!" Sasuke snapped at Naruto. "I am leaving."

Sakura too bolted after Sasuke, leaving Naruto to stand there alone in Ichiraku's stall. He scratched his head sheepishly and grinned at me.

"Don't worry," I told him. "I will pay for you."

"Really?" His eyes lit up and he proceeded to sit beside me. "It seems like you are always paying for my food. I won't forget this kindness, dattebayo! Just wait till I become Hokage! I will repay you."

I was obviously delaying going home even though the sky had darkened to ink-black shade outside. I sat there idly, watching Naruto as he finished his third bowl of ramen, burped heartily and then with a contented sigh, he had fallen asleep right there and then.

"I am sorry my dear protégés are so much trouble," drawled a familiar voice and I turned around to find myself looking at the silver-haired ninja, his mask barely hiding the handsome countenance of his face. His eyes were smiling kindly.

"Kakashi-san!" I exclaimed in surprise. "Don't worry; they are not trouble at all. They are just pain in the ass."

His eyes crinkled. "True."

"So… you been stalking your dear protégés again?" I couldn't keep the note of accusation from my tone although I wasn't really annoyed by it.

"You noticed? As expected of a young and aspiring ANBU member like you," he sighed as he came to slump down on a stool next to me. "Kids these days… It's been so long since my ANBU days. My stealth skills have gotten rusty since then, I suppose."

"I bet they have. So, do I have to pay for you as well? What will you eat?"

"I am not hungry," he said.

"I insist that you try their new sashimi ramen. It's really—"

"Give it up," he said with an eye-smile. "You are not catching a glimpse of my face tonight."

I was a bit crestfallen. "Darn."

"Good thing you have started eating a little yourself though and put on some weight. Actually, I came here to talk to you… about Sasuke, that is."

"What is it?" I heaved a weary sigh, not really wanting to continue this conversation because I knew where it was going. Admittedly, Kakashi and I had gotten a bit closer in the last two years due to our constant interaction whenever Sasuke was involved but I still didn't feel entirely comfortable in his presence because he was way too shrewd and perceptive for my liking, despite his insouciant demeanor. I had grown to prefer the company of the people who were less observant and overbearing, probably because I had one or two skeletons hidden in my closet which I didn't like people digging up.

"I will be blunt. Why do you encourage him to take revenge on his brother?" he said. "You already know that this will destroy him. A path to revenge is never easy… You prove nothing by taking eye for an eye. It's just a never-ending, vicious cycle that breeds only hatred. Both of us as experienced shinobi know this."

I smiled wryly. "I know what you want to say. You want me to free Sasuke from the burden of this revenge, as his guardian, and kill Itachi myself. Isn't that right?"

"Perhaps," he admitted, unrepentant.

"Do you seriously think I am powerful enough though?" I said bitterly. "None of us can take on Itachi… Sasuke might have that capability though. He is his brother after all."

"But this thirst for revenge is going to blind him one day," Kakashi said gravely. "By this revenge, whose desires are you trying to fulfil, Sasuke's, your own… or Itachi's?"

For a while, I stared at the empty bowl of my soup, not answering. "Sasuke won't be able to live a peaceful life until he has killed Itachi," I said. "And Itachi won't be able to die peacefully until Sasuke is the one who kills him."

"So, it's for both of them, huh?" he sighed. "Then where do you come in all this?"

"I won't be at peace in the world where he is still alive. Itachi… won't let me kill him. I know this much… Sasuke will be the one who kills him. Sasuke will become my will. That's why; I have to let him take my revenge for me."

"Then, what do you live for?" I didn't miss the insinuations of challenge in his tone.

"I will find something to live for," I said tersely. "Perhaps, I already have, after so many years of thinking and searching."

"Yeah? What would that be?"

I shrugged. "The war is over now, but it made me realize something. When I saw Konoha on fire like that, the only thing I could think about was how I had to protect it. For the first time in a while, I wasn't thinking about Itachi or my screwed up life. I was thinking about my parents; I could almost hear their thoughts in my mind and I could finally understand why they gave up their lives for this village… I was no longer lonely this way. I was almost at peace. Perhaps, it is a signal. Maybe that's what I should live for… Believe me, that's the only thing the three of us want from our lives now, Itachi, Sasuke and me… We all want peace. That's why you will have to let Sasuke get his revenge."

"I see." He was smiling cryptically now. "Interesting. You want Itachi to die a peaceful death, even though he destroyed your peace in the first place, huh?"

I balled my hands into fists. "I let the murderer of my parents redeem himself in the end," I said silently, cupping my neck. "Even after all that happened, I should allow Itachi an opportunity to redeem himself in the end too, don't you think? I am quite sure he is living a pretty miserable and lonely life right now, wherever he is. At least I hope so…"

Kakashi said nothing as he stood up. Just when I thought he was about to leave, his heavy hand pressed over my head in an affectionate gesture, a gesture that was so kind and compassionate that I couldn't help leaning into his touch a bit as he ruffled my hair. "Whatever you say, Miyuki," he said tenderly. "I will still try to stop Sasuke. You see, I just can't see my comrades fall. But I am glad you have found something to live for. I myself was lost once, but I found it in the end as well. I hope that Sasuke too will find it one day."

"Kakashi-san… Is Konoha worth it?"

"Of course."

…

For the first time in a while, I was feeling a bit lighter. I was noticing so many things about the village that I hadn't noticed before. Were there always so many children playing in the streets, laughing with delight as they zigzagged around us? Were there always so many mothers here, running after their children, shouting at them to wear their socks or to eat the cabbage? Were the skies here always this blue?

Admittedly, this last war had ended rather quickly and hadn't escalated to another shinobi world war as everyone had feared initially, especially when Sandaime Hokage had lost his life. The peaceful times were restored. The forever moving, bustling village was back, the hospitals were tranquil again and the buildings that suffered the damage had been reconstructed. The vendors lined the streets once again and called out to us to try their delicious _Gyoza_ or _Yakitori_ whenever we passed them.

Finally, after so many years, I picked up the courage and found an appetite to treat myself to my favorite Dangos once again after years of abstinence. It felt strange as I took a familiar turn to the Dango shop, sitting at the end of the market street and I almost started hyperventilating when I climbed up its stairs but then I forced myself to calm down. _Memories are mere memories_ , I told myself firmly. _They must hold no power over you. You already decided to let everything go._

Dango tasted better than I remembered and I felt almost sinful as I sat there on the stool, indulging, savoring its juicy sweetness in my mouth. Nothing could be better than this…

Just then, I felt peculiar heaviness descend over the warm, aromatic air of the dango shop. I turned around, a bit warily, to see two highly suspicious and extremely conspicuous figures enter the Dango-shop, swathed in long, black cloaks with red clouds over them. I couldn't see their faces because they were shadowed under those large conical straw hats they wore. Even though their chakras were well-concealed; their presence was almost tangible and spread in the entire shop like a sinister cloud. Also their gait was fluid, graceful as they glided through the sea of crowd, fearless and confident… hallmark of a powerful shinobi.

Very surreptitiously, I too concealed my chakra until it was indistinguishable from the civilians around me and sat there, watching them from the corner of my eye as I pretended to eat my dango and mind my own business. They ordered dangos as well as the tea. Something about the way shorter one was sitting over the table was vaguely familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it. I stared at his hand for a while… nails painted purple, a signet ring with a crimson garnet studded in it. I didn't know why the familiar color made me uneasy.

The other one had blue hands. _Blue?_

The reason why they were sitting there so boldly like that was probably because they had been granted permission to enter Konoha, but I hadn't ever seen anyone looking like that in Konoha in a while. They were obviously foreigners…

Just then I realized that the shorter one of the two was looking in my direction and even though I couldn't see his face, his penetrating eyes were definitely trained on me. I could feel his heavy, intense gaze, burning holes in my skin. I tried my best to ignore him, squaring my thin shoulders but no matter how much I tried, I couldn't seem to ignore the icy chill that raced down my back. Involuntarily, I shivered. Why did I feel so unnerved, so uneasy? Why did I feel an undeniable connection between us?

No longer able to ignore it, I lifted my eyes to meet his gaze head on, trying not to cower under his unseen yet daunting eyes. I stared hard and in the dim lights of the shop, I saw a glint of red, where his eyes should be.

I froze.

 _No!_

Just before I could even blink, the two figures had disappeared into a thin air, almost as if they had been phantoms of my imagination, but just before they had left, I had heard it… a soft, enchanting tingle of bells hanging from the hat of the shorter figure, the very same sound I had been hearing since the gray, misty morning had dawned on the village.

 _It couldn't be…_

I scrambled up in the standing position and squeezed my way through the crowd unceremoniously until I was standing in front of the table they had just vacated.

"I swear to God I sure as hell not selling anything to those ninjas again!" the owner of the dango shop was wailing at the top of his lungs. "They left without paying… _Again!_ You can't even hold them back because they just _teleport_ themselves out. Those rascals… The number of crimes these ninjas commit is much more than the civilians they are supposed to protect. Seriously!"

The dango was half-eaten but I recognized the flavor. Hanami dango, along with the rain-flower tea. The way he had always preferred.

 _Itachi._

* * *

 **A/N:** Hello there! If you are still reading this, you have no idea how grateful I am. I know it's been way too long and most of you might have forgotten all about this story but hell, here I am. I had MAJOR exams to give (the scariest of my lifetime) and now finally, finally, I have moved on from being just a medical student to a doctor!

I have not written this story in a long time so I apologize if the writing is a bit stilted. I know this chapter isn't exciting but it was needed. And also, I need to loosen my pen a bit before I can write the next chapter which would be far more exciting, I promise!

I know I don't deserve it, but please review!

 **~AnEveningMoth**


	26. Chapter 26

**CHAPTER 26**

" _It's wrong what they say about the past, I've learned, about how you can bury it. Because the past claws its way out."_

 _~Khaled Hosseini_

* * *

I swept away the flap of the stall with trembling fingers and skidded to stop just outside the Dango-shop, my desperate, wild eyes barely taking in Kakashi, Kurenai and Asuma standing right in front of me with expressions so grave and somber. So they knew.

Trying to ignore my choppy breathing and the way my heart was almost jumping in my throat, I opened my mouth to say something but then I noticed another smaller figure making its way down the street to catch up with us.

Sasuke.

I clamped my mouth shut, mentally shaking my head.

Sasuke couldn't meet Itachi, not now. It would jeopardize everything and inevitably end in another catastrophe. I had to stop this encounter first and foremost.

"Kakashi?" Sasuke asked, a bit bemusedly. "What are you doing here? It's not like you to arrive early anywhere."

"Well, sometimes I do," Kakashi drawled, almost lazily.

"Miyuki?" Sasuke called, making me wince, as he peered past Kakashi to look at me. "You are here as well? I thought you no longer liked Dangos."

"Well, sometimes I do," I automatically repeated Kakashi's reply.

Sasuke scowled at both of us, obviously a bit suspicious. "Well, let's go somewhere else to eat. I don't have much of a sweet tooth."

"As you wish, brat." My voice sounded strangely high-pitched and brittle, as if it wasn't really coming out from my mouth. "Let's go somewhere else."

I wondered if he noticed the tremors in my body or the stifling pressure over my chest that seemed to have condensed into a physical thing, compressing my heart. I couldn't believe that I was sitting there in ramen stall, watching that brat Sasuke as he slurped his noodles as if nothing was wrong when Itachi was actually within only few miles of us. Before I had left with Sasuke, I had seen Kakashi, Kurenai and Asuma exchange ominous glances with each other which obviously meant they were going after him, but it only served to make me feel even more anxious.

Even though the three of them were jounin-leveled ninjas, I knew they were no match against Itachi… Why was he here though? Was he here to cause another avalanche? Why now? Why here? I realized I was gritting my teeth and my breath was coming out quickly, making slow, hissing sounds. What was I doing, sitting like this when he was so close, _so close_ that I could almost _feel_ him in the air, as if he was a sizzling, charged presence in there?

When my eyes were dying to take in his familiar face again, when my ears only wanted to hear that familiar voice of his _once again_ , when my hands were itching to wrap themselves around his throat…

" _Miyuki?"_ Sasuke's hesitant voice drifted through my thoughts. "Are you okay? You don't look good, even by your standards."

"Shut up and eat!" I seethed, uncharacteristically furious at him; after all, he was the reason why I was sitting here like this, unable to do anything when all I wanted to do was to just go and kill, _destroy_ a certain someone… I wondered if he could feel the bloodlust radiating from me, steadily rising in intensity as seconds ticked by.

"But—"

"Don't say a word or I will strangle you myself and dump your remains in the river!"

"Miyuki?" Sasuke tried again, undeterred by my atypical hostility. His eyes narrowed with resolve. "What gives? You are not acting yourself—"

"I said shut the hell up, brat! You are starting to annoy me."

"Something is wrong," he said slowly, peculiarly almost. "I can feel it in the air… And I am going to find out what it is."

"That does it!" Before he could move away, I struck with lightning-speed and immediately pressed the pressure points at his neck. "Sleep," I whispered as he slumped forward over the table, knocked out for few hours. After all, ignorance was bliss.

Then I was running.

My mind was unbelievably blank and for a while all I could feel was the sharp, cutting wind over my face and the pressure of concrete under my sandals as I jumped from roof to roof, towards the woods, beyond them, where I could feel _his_ chakra. As I neared him, thousand words ran through my mind, impaling me like jagged, serrated edges of rocks, accompanied by the visions of all those powerful, overwhelming memories, of his smile, so kind and sincere, of his eyes, so profound and enthralling, glinting like black diamonds, of his face so beguilingly beautiful…

" _Look at the monster you so loved."_

"… _You are a fool, Miyuki."_

"… _You never meant anything to me."_

"… _I could kill you right now, without blinking. Would you understand then?"_

Suddenly, I slipped over a bizarrely angled branch of a tree and then I was falling miles below, onto the forest floor. Wincing, I somersaulted through the air and landed on the grass on my feet just in time. I realized that my whole body was shuddering under the onslaught of the emotions so powerful that they almost rendered me unable to move or to think coherently. I could feel him, just a mile away from me and yet, I didn't want to move.

All the feelings of murderous, unadulterated rage, that had given me so much strength before and had drove my feet to this point, had suddenly abandoned my body, replaced by pure dread and fear. When did I become such a coward? _Move!_ I ordered myself. _Move, you coward! Face him! Show him that he means nothing to you now. Make him suffer as much as he made you suffer… Go and hurt him. Go and tear him apart. Go and make him regret the day he was born. Move, dammit!_

Yet, I couldn't.

Because it had taken me years to recover, to pick up my pieces back again. The wounds he had inflicted on me were still tender and his sight would only serve to make things worse. Why was he here though, so close that I could almost feel his tangible aura, malicious and foreboding, so unlike what he used to be? I could tell that he was engaged in a battle with someone… Kakashi most probably, whose chakra drained drastically and dropped down to almost critical zero within a second; it terrified me. A shinobi of Kakashi Hatake's caliber, one of the most renowned and strongest jounins of Konoha, was _nothing_ in front of him. What had he done? Just how powerful had he gotten since the last time I had seen him?

Shaking my head vehemently, I crouched down; ready to move once again, if not to face Itachi, then to protect Kakashi because, I could not, would not allow him harm anyone in Konoha ever again. But just then I sensed another chakra join the fray… Might Guy. I relaxed somewhat; Kurenai and Asuma were still there as well… They would save Kakashi. Yet, I had to hurry.

But just then, I sensed Itachi's and his partner's chakras flicker and then vanish from the scene completely.

I blinked, overwhelmed, as a tumultuous wave of panic and desperation submerged me in. Was he just going to leave like that? Without even—

"Hello, Miyuki."

I froze and the breath that had been stuck in my lungs expelled suddenly with an audible gasp, as if the wind had been knocked out from me. My eyes widened… That flawless voice—deeper and silkier, though now it was than it used to be— without a doubt, belonged to him. There was no mistaking that familiar cadence in the way he spoke my name, rolling it over his tongue almost analytically, as if he was trying to check if he still had that power over me.

All my muscles strained with an effort to keep myself together and the fist of my right hand clenched at my chest where I could feel my heart palpitating erratically.

 _If I turned around now…_

"How long were you going to just stand there?"

 _If I turned around now, what would I see?_

My lips curled. "Itachi Uchiha," I spat.

Slowly, tremulously, I whirled around to face him.

It was surreal to see him standing there in the middle of the forest, with stray leaves raining all around him. He had changed a lot— time had been bountiful on him; he was taller than I remembered, his frame broader, his midnight hair longer and finer in texture. Few strands fluttered around his now more chiseled, handsome face. He stood there silently, almost nonchalantly with a quiet, deadly grace of panther, a predator who was scrutinizing his prey before making an attack. His black cloak was unzipped from the middle and his one arm rested there lazily, almost as if he had no desire to fight. It was his eyes that had changed the most though—those enticing crimson eyes, so powerful and mesmerizing in their intensity, were now unbelievably cold, cruel and dead. I could feel icy tendrils reaching for my core as I looked into their fathomless depths; he was beautiful and terrifying, and seeing him like this only made me think of that terrible night when he had slaughtered so many.

 _Monster._

That's all he was.

"You cut your hair," he noted, eyeing my now unruly, neck-length hair that I had sheared myself with a kunai in one of my fits of insanity and bleakness.

My fists shook. "How _dare_ you!" I hissed lowly. "How dare you show your face here? How dare you stand there and comment on me, like this, as if you actually know something about me!"

He said nothing and continued to appraise me coolly.

I realized that my whole body was shivering and my one arm was still raised in front of my chest in an almost vulnerable posture. "Why are you here now?" I whispered. "After everything you did…"

"That's none of your business. My plans do not concern you."

"Well, it doesn't really matter, does it?" I said. "I am going to kill you, before you can carry out those so-called plans of yours anyways… Tell me," I unsheathed my katana from the scabbard, "How have you lived all these years after killing your own mother? Has the world been kind to you? Is the life as brilliant now as you had hoped it would be after slaughtering everyone you ever knew? Is it fun, prancing around in that God-awful cloak of yours?" I realized that I was no longer scared; that demented rage and madness was already taking over me.

He closed his eyes and smirked. "As if you can even touch me," he said. "Do not make threats you cannot carry out. Fighting you is not my intention."

"Well, it is _my_ intention!" I snarled, charging at him. "Scratch that, my intention is to _kill_ you!" I was dimly aware of my promise to Sasuke that I would leave Itachi for him but in that moment, it didn't seem to matter. All I wanted to see right now was Itachi dying. _Painfully._

"Why do you want to kill me?" he inquired, almost curiously. "I thought you hated all the Uchihas. You wanted revenge on us for the near-extinction of your clan. You wanted your lands back and now, you have them back, don't you?"

"Shut the hell up!" I yelled as he fluidly dodged my kunais, his eyes sharper than ever. "I never wanted—" I shook my head emphatically. "You are an S-class criminal, listed in every bingo book. It is my duty as a shinobi to kill you. Moreover, I told you I hate backstabbers and traitors!"

"Again, I would advise you not to make threats you cannot carry out, Fukuro Miyuki," he said, dodging another rain of my shurikens. "It would only make you look bad. I already told you—I have no desire to be killed by you."

"Then why did you come all the way here to see me?" I said. "Did you want to see how I have been living after you left? Were you hoping that I would have died by now because of your betrayal or something? Well, as you can see I have been doing just fine!"

"Just fine?" Suddenly, he appeared right in front of me and our unexpected proximity threw me. I stood there paralyzed as he reached out slowly with his long index finger and traced the headband over my forehead. Although he hadn't even touched my skin, it sent chills slithering down my spine. "Don't think so… You are still wearing my headband, I see." He grinned a little, almost victoriously.

As he was wearing mine. As I watched the scratch that ran through the shiny metal plate, dividing the Konoha symbol into two, another surge of fury raced through me. It had been my headband! And now it only represented betrayal and disloyalty, misery and death while his real headband remained pristine. How ironic.

He inclined his head to one side, training his menacing, red eyes on me, ignoring my glare full of loathing. "How is my foolish little brother?" he asked casually. "Have you been taking care of him?"

"You—" I sputtered out and then I realized it was useless to speak to him. "Teishi Jikan!" I yelled instead and folded my hands into a seal.

He promptly vanished and reappeared meters away just before the time stopped for him. I darted after him, my fury guiding my sword but just before I could reach him, he had already stepped forward and taken hold of my hand with the sword in vicelike grip. I threw my sword on the ground and spun in his grip, using his arm as a leverage to aim a kick at his shins. He quickly released me and stepped away with a sinuous grace, the tomoes in his eyes swirling menacingly.

Genjutsu!

" _Gale palm_!" I growled, clapping my hands together.

A strong gust of wind filled the forest, uprooting few saplings in the way, making the dust and leaves rise and swirl around Itachi in small tornadoes, who stood there in the middle like an apparition, hardly affected. "You have no right to call Sasuke your brother with your filthy tongue!" I was wailing over the sound of the gale. "You _destroyed_ him! He is all empty… Why didn't you just kill him then? Why didn't you just kill _me_? You killed everyone else… You even killed Shisui!"

"Don't flatter yourself. Killing you would have no meaning for me," he said icily as he appeared just behind me, twisting my arms and wrenching them behind my back almost painfully just before I could make a swipe for my fallen katana. "I never cared about you enough to benefit from your death."

Suddenly, I felt all the fight drain from me, until he was the only one holding my wilted, trembling body up. I could feel him, so close behind me, his familiar warmth, his breath ghosting over the nape of my neck… I wondered why my mind chose this imperative moment to relive all those memories I had once cherished so much, so foolishly, those peaceful morning walks when we were mere children, all those times we spent together in the library, over the hilltops, by the river… These visions almost smothered me and I was surprised that after all this time, after all that had happened, his words still had power to hurt me. I was angry at myself, in that pathetic moment of my weakness, even more angry than I was at him. I bowed down my head, hoping that my hair would cover my eyes and hide it from him.

"Why?" I said. "You have to have a reason. That night… you planned all of it; you probably spent nights thinking over it. It was not on an impulse. There must have been a reason… You wouldn't just—"

 _Please give me something._

"Do not presume to know me," he warned, "and most of all, do not presume to understand me, if you do not wish to die."

I could almost feel the tears stinging my eyes but I viciously blinked them away.

"Then why are you here now?" I said. "You could have avoided this meeting easily…"

"I wanted to see you…" he said, softening his voice a tenor. "On a whim."

" _A whim_?" I whispered. That's all I had been to him, a whim, a caprice?

He leaned closer until I could feel his breath over my ear, his lips so close... Until I could feel goosebumps pepper my arms. "Yes, a whim," he said, "I wanted to see your hatred. Somehow it is… reassuring."

"Reassuring?" I was incredulous.

"You," he said, "must have really loved me, to be able to hate me with this much passion."

With a howl, I twisted in his grasp, gripping his wrists tightly in my hands and swung a kick in his abdomen. He staggered back, obviously taken aback with my blow and my renewed burst of strength. Taking advantage of his momentary incapacitation, I took out my kunais and lunged for him with my honed ANBU reflexes. This time, without a hesitation, barely taking in his widened eyes, I shoved the kunai in his unobstructed chest, feeling a cruel, vindictive satisfaction as I felt his sternum caving in, and my kunai digging deeper and deeper into his the black caverns of his heart, if he even had a heart in there to start with…

 _Now you know how it feels._

"You are right," I spat at him. "There was a time I would have died for you, and that is exactly why I am able to kill you now. I have no regrets."

But his eyes showed no trace of pain and his lips wore a smirk that was almost triumphant. He reached up and touched my cheek almost too gently for a beast like him, in some kind of mockery of comfort, but I couldn't pull away. "You have gotten more heartless… Miyuki," he said too steadily for someone with a kunai in his chest. "Your intention to kill me is real. I approve, but like I said, it's not time for me to die yet, and certainly not by your hands. So don't waste yourself in trying to kill me."

"No," I whispered, fighting back an impulse to hold his hand.

"Live your life, instead, in that illusion of the world and forget everything. This is the last time… Farewell, Miyuki."

" _No_!" I cried out, but his body had already transformed into a flock of hundred crows that spiraled around me, cawing and cawing until my ears felt like they would explode. It had only been a clone. I stood there, raising my face towards the skies as thousand black feathers rained over me, reminding me of the night when he had killed Shisui and I had comforted him, believing fiercely, destructively that he could do no wrong… When he had cried in my arms for the first time, when his pain had been so tangible that it was almost mine.

 _After all this time, nothing has changed._

…..

Itachi left both Kakashi and Sasuke in a pitiful condition. Both of them were sporting no apparent physical wounds; it was the genjutsu so powerful that had devastated their mind to the point that they were in coma for weeks. It was staggering and terrifying almost, that he knew something of this caliber, that within a second, he could reduce even a jounin and ex-ANBU to this.

They called it the _Tsukuyomi_ , his greatest weapon, the power he wielded with his Mangekyou sharingan, the power he had gained by so killing so many. Obviously, we were no match for him, possibly because he no longer had a heart. He had been after Naruto, or more precisely, the Kyuubi sealed inside of him, as I found out, using my ANBU influence and connections. The only other thing I found out about him was that he had been traveling with Kisame Hoshikage, the S-class criminal from Kirigakure, also listed in our bingo books. So apparently, he had made pals with someone just as warped up as him. I let a humorless smile touch my lips. I hoped that killing Kisame Hoshikage would give him _some_ benefit, at least, since that was what he ever made bonds for… So that he could kill them in the end and gain more power. Just how twisted was he?

I looked at Sasuke's unmoving body on the hospital's bed, his forehead perspiring, as if he was having some terrible nightmare. I wondered if he was still trapped in the genjutsu… I already knew what Itachi would have shown Sasuke… his parent's and his clan's death, over and over again, just the way he had shown him on that night of tragedy.

I had been wrong about him; all this time, I had been thinking that deep inside of him, he might have an ounce of humanity left in him that had made him decide to die by Sasuke's hands but now seeing Sasuke like this, I realized just how merciless and cruel he had become. He felt nothing for Sasuke he had claimed to love once… So why did he allow Sasuke to live?

"Miyuki-san?"

I shot out of my reverie to see Sakura looking at me warily, holding a bouquet of white daffodils in her hands, which were wasted on someone like Sasuke, in my opinion, just like this girl's devotion for him; he didn't care for flowers. In fact, I very much doubted if he ever saw anything other than his revenge.

"Are you alright, Miyuki-san?"

"Yeah, of course," I said distractedly. "You brought flowers again. Sweet."

She promptly went pink until her hair and her face were indistinguishable and placed the flowers in the vase by the window. Presently, she sat on the bench next to me with her hands curled into fists over her knees, her face bowing down. "I didn't know anything," she whimpered, her eyes fixed on Sasuke's face. "I didn't know Sasuke-kun was going through so much pain…"

 _Crap_. I hoped she wasn't going to have an imminent mental breakdown. I wasn't good at dealing with overly sentimental adolescent fangirls-turned-into-teammates with pink hair, crying for their tragic, young love. This girl obviously didn't know anything about the love of her life and was just realizing that. She was in the same boat as me and I couldn't hate her more for it. The world was cruel that way.

"Don't worry," I said. "Your Sasuke-kun will be up in no time. Naruto and Jiraiya-san went to find some really renowned medic, didn't they?"

"Yes, but—"

Just then, the door burst open and a boy with whiskers and sunshine hair walked in with a vibrant smile on his face, followed by a rather busty and beauteous woman with blond hair, who was no doubt, one of the three legendary sannins, Tsunade.

"Naruto?" Sakura said.

I was relieved to see him alive and well, his contagious smile still unaffected as ever, even after his close encounter with Itachi as I had heard… "Don't worry, Sakura, Miyuki-san," he said. "I brought this old granny with me. She is going to make everything alright in no time."

That 'old granny', who also happened to be the world's best medic with a face of twenty-year-old, went and placed her hand on Sasuke's forehead. After few moments, Sasuke woke up, albeit a bit groggily, still disoriented. His eyes looked dead and stared unseeingly at his surroundings… I could barely suppress the pity I felt for him then. Nevertheless, I was grateful to find him up and well.

"Yo, little brat," I said, smiling at him. "Welcome back to the world."

Sakura threw herself at him tearfully while Naruto stood there, greeting his friend with a sheepish yet excited look on his face. I left Sasuke to deal with his overjoyed teammates and jumped out of the window, sending my chakra pulse in the wind and letting it float in Konoha until I found him.

He was leaning against the bridge railing with a pair of binoculars over his eyes, spying on the Konoha beauties who were taking bath in the river. I couldn't believe it… I was trying very hard not to think of him as a dirty, old lecher but seriously, he was fifty-something and yet his hormones were still rampant as that of a pubescent boy. Shaking my head in disapproval, I stepped beside him. "Jiraiya-san," I said, sounding thoroughly disgruntled. "Would you kindly stop indulging in such immature things and act more as befits your reputation as the legendary sannin?"

"Ah, Miyuki," he sighed, turning to look at me with red cheeks, not at all abashed. "I am just collecting material for the new installment of my Icha Icha paradise series. Can't let my fans down, you see. Hope you will understand."

"I do _not_ understand."

"You will, if you give my novels a try," he said slyly. "They are wonderful piece of literature, even if I say so myself. In fact, the newest book is getting a movie with Yuko Nakamura as heroine. Oh, I can't wait to see her dressed as—"

"No thanks, please spare me," I interrupted dryly. "I kind of value my innocence."

He smiled covetously. "I do approve of innocence in young girls such as you… You grow more and more beautiful each day, Miyuki, just like your grandmother. I remember her… she was fifteen years elder than me of course, but still quite ravishing to the young me all the same. Managed to take my breath away with those icy, beautiful green eyes of hers and stole my heart in two heartbeats. Although she stamped on it quite cruelly several times by her constant rejection, if I may add... How is she, by the way?"

My shoulders slumped. "She has been a bit sick lately," I admitted. "I keep trying to convince her to get herself checked but she says it goes against her pride."

"Oh, I must definitely pay her a visit then," he said, with a finger under his chin. "Maybe I can charm her into getting herself checked with my disarmingly chivalrous skills."

I very much doubted it. If he went to visit her in Nisshoku shrine, chances were that she was probably going to kick him off the mountain but I didn't say that. "Please do," I said.

"So," he said amiably, "to what do I owe the pleasure of this unprecedented visit from you?"

"I wanted to ask you about this organization Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshikage belong to," I said. "Those tacky, black cloaks with red clouds, the rings on their hands, those gaudy nail-polishes… it all points towards some kind of group or a cult. I know you must know something about it, seeing as how you travel all the times, gathering information…"

"You are right," he said, all the traces of lightness vanishing from his face. "The name of the organization is Akatsuki."

Dawn.

I smiled with irony. "I see. So does this organization comprise of all the mentally deranged criminals and murderers with bounty on their heads?"

"In essence, yes. Orochimaru was once the part of this organization as well, and now Uchiha Itachi has joined it. You get the picture. They are all after the tailed beasts and are still somewhat dormant but they are probably planning the world domination in the near future, although in their own twisted way, they are probably trying to make this world a better place."

World domination.

To think that Itachi had fallen so low. In all honesty, I would have imagined something more original from Itachi than all this usual I-am-a-villain-so-I-must-rule-the-world bullshit, if that was what he was after. The Itachi I knew… I shook my head. I no longer knew him, after all, and the only thing I felt for him at that moment was burning hatred and disdain.

"Thank you for the information, Jiraiya-san."

He smiled. "Anything for a strong, beautiful girl like you."

Nobody had really called me 'beautiful' before but then again, he probably said that to every girl that crossed his path. I smiled sadly. "No more peeking at those women, Jiraiya-san. I am serious."

…

Deep in my mind, I knew that Itachi's untimely visit would lead to this. I probably should have paid more attention to Sasuke in the past two weeks but I had been distracted by Obaa-san ailment and sudden exacerbation of her symptoms. _Damn it all!_ I flitted from roof to roof in that moonlit night, berating myself in my mind for ignoring something like this as I made my way to Konoha's main-gate.

I found Sasuke standing there with a backpack, all ready to leave. _Ungrateful brat_ , I thought, seething silently as I squatted on the branch hidden from his view. His teammate with pink hair stood there behind him, tearfully declaring her undying devotion to him and asking him to stay by her side. _Silly girl_ , I thought scathingly. You needed iron-hand to deal with Uchihas because words, no matter how sincere they were, never held the power to move their stony hearts. I had learnt that the hard way.

Sure enough, Sasuke disappeared from where he was standing, looking slightly miffed, only to appear just behind her. In a second, he had knocked her out, although I didn't miss his whispered _Thank-you_. Well, he couldn't be as heartless as his brother anyway, even if he tried.

I decided to make my presence known. "It's rude to leave girls on bench alone at night, even if they are fangirls," I said coolly as I came to lean against a tree, making him stiffen. "I am pretty sure that Mikoto-san taught you the basic rules of chivalry."

"Miyuki," he said calmly and I could see the flinty resolve in his eyes; I knew he would not be swayed easily. "I am leaving."

"Without even saying goodbye?" I smiled. "Che… after all the time I wasted on you, you impertinent, ungrateful brat. Just like your brother."

The effect was instantaneous. His coal-black eyes immediately melted into crimson which I hated so much and his glare could have made a lesser mortal shrivel up. "Don't you dare compare me to him! I am nothing like him!"

"Well, you are abandoning the village and plan to defect from Konoha." I shrugged. "To anyone it would look like you are following after his footsteps."

Slowly, his laborious breathing calmed down and I could tell that he had realized that I was deliberately trying to provoke him. "I am leaving," he said again, without a trace of hesitation. "You can't stop me."

"Oh yeah?

I disappeared from where I was standing and in a second I was upon him. I shoved his face on the cobbled-stone pathway with firm hand on the back of his neck and sat on his backpack, immobilizing his body. He immediately started thrashing around like a fish out of water, his hands clawing at the concrete in his struggle to make me let go of him and then I realized that he was making hand-signs for chidori. I casually took out my kunai and placed it against jugular. "Hold still!" I hissed at him. "You know you are no match for me. I will not hesitate to hurt you. I will not kill you, but I can easily tear this bundles of nerves at your spinal cord so that you are rendered paralyzed for life. I will throw you in the dungeons of Konoha to keep you from leaving if I have to. Your revenge be damned."

" _Get off_!" he growled with some indignation and mortification.

Belatedly I realized that it was probably not a good idea to make him feel helpless and humiliated like this since it would only fuel his desire to leave even more. I heaved a sigh, removing kunai from his cervical spine. "Why do you think you have to leave?" I asked, trying to sound reasonable.

"I have to get stronger," he muttered, trying to use his elbows as leverage to raise himself enough to look at me, his red eyes swirling with ferocity. "I have to get stronger than him! I can't afford to stay here and get distracted from my goal… I am an avenger. This is no place for me…"

"Stop being so melodramatic," I drawled, letting derision color my voice. "Did you forget that your brother too gained all his strength in Konoha?"

"And he ended up killing everyone!"

That made me let go of him immediately. I raised myself up in the standing position, shivering slightly.

Sasuke stood up as well, in a very dignified manner and continued to glare at me. "That night…" he whispered. "I remember it every moment, every second. It is the first thing I think of when I wake up… He asked me to kill my best friend. He said it would give me same eyes as his, unbelievable power, but to Naruto, I can't… I won't…"

My eyes widened with the realization. As long as he thirsted for the power he needed for his revenge, his teammates weren't safe. Because bonds meant something very different to Uchihas than they did to normal people. Very often, Uchihas would turn on the people they were supposed to protect, people precious to them; their history, heavily drenched in blood, was the testament to it.

"So let me go, Miyuki." His eyes were imploring yet defiant; he knew he didn't have strength to fight me yet but he also knew that I never even once tried to coerce him into giving up on his revenge. In fact, I had always encouraged it.

"Fine…" I said at last, although my heart seemed to constrict in my chest. "Do what you have to do, little brat."

Sasuke's eyes slipped back into obsidian and his face softened at my acceptance of him. He looked at me sadly now.

"Stay away from those groping hands of Orochimaru, because I don't think those rumors of his pedophilic tendencies should to be taken lightly."

He scoffed.

"Eat a lot too. You need food to gain more strength, you know, so don't ignore it for the training, little brat."

"Speak for yourself," he said. "Miyuki… for the last time, you are not my big sister. You don't have to make it up for… for _him_ , you know."

"I am not." I smiled and reached forward to ruffle up his hair and for the first time, he didn't pull away. "Stay true to yourself, no matter what you see there and no matter what he does to you, okay? So… this is goodbye."

…

Sasuke's team had, of course, reacted with outrage at his departure and after the failure of Sasuke's retrieval mission led by Shikamaru, they all seemed to be blaming me for it somehow.

"You!" Naruto snarled at me. "Why did you let him go? You could have stopped him, right? You were the last person who saw him before he left!"

I heaved a sigh. I couldn't believe that Sasuke had left behind his annoying, overly sentimental pests of teammates for me to deal with. "Look, kid," I said to Naruto in my most reasonable tone of voice. "Sasuke left on his own accord. I did ask him to come back but he refused. What was I supposed to do, _beg_ him?"

At this, Sakura ceased her endless crying and threw me a dirty, indignant look.

"You could have knocked him out and dragged him back!" Naruto yelled so loudly that I felt like my ears would shrivel off. "He would have been match for you!"

"He would have tried to escape again, the first chance he got," I said. "What were you going to do, chain him forever in Konoha?"

"If it would stop him from betraying Konoha then I would!"

"Look, it was going to be his decision in the end," I said in a placating tone of voice, placing my hand soothingly on Naruto's garish, orange jumpsuit but he shrugged it off. Great, that's what I got for buying him ramen so many times.

"You always encouraged him to go on ahead with his revenge!" Sakura declared emphatically, throwing me an accusing glare. "Sasuke-kun would have been happier if he had stayed with us, with _me_ … If only we were together as teammates for a bit longer, he would have forgotten all about it and…"

Great, so I was the bad guy here. "Would you two trust your friend a bit more?" I bit out, telling myself firmly for the hundredth time to rein my temper because it wouldn't do to lose it on them. They had every right to blame me. "Perhaps he knows what he is doing…"

"I am going to bring him back one day!" Naruto declared, ignoring me, his cobalt-blue eyes shining with resolve. "I will take him away from that snake bastard. Even if it takes me years, even if I have to break every bone in his body, I _will_ bring him back to Konoha, dattebayo!"

I sighed. How did Sasuke manage teammates like this?

After that, things quietened down somewhat and Konoha got monotonous, stagnant even. Uchiha compound became even more desolate after Sasuke's departure and in those nights when the howling wind prowled its bleak, abandoned corners like ghosts of the dead, I would put my pillow over my head and try to forget that fateful night that still haunted me. My nightmares always ended with a dark shadow, his callous, red eyes, watching me from like a Shinigami, almost as if I was staring at my own death. I would wake up, shuddering heavily.

Nisshoku shrine was always shrouded in darkness nowadays. Obaa-san had made it quite clear that she hated the bright lights anywhere in the confines of the house because it hurt her head. She had retreated into her own room like some kind of hermit and was seldom seen out of it. No matter how many times Hana and I tried to convince her, she still refused to leave the shrine, let alone go to the Konoha hospital. She didn't allow any other medic to touch her for diagnosis either, not even Hana, her own apprentice and protégé.

"At this rate," I bit out testily, "you are going to die soon, Obaa-san! Is that what you want?"

Her emerald eyes almost shimmered with an idea and that was when I realized it; she had already given up on everything. I tried to blackmail her, of course. "I am not ever going to get married," I announced one day when she was lying on her futon, staring outside the window with her dead eyes. "Our Fukuro line is going to die out with me, Obaa-san. Do you want that?"

Languidly, she raised her cold, flinty eyes to look at me. "I doubt anyone is ever going to marry you anyway with that uncouth tongue and that unladylike attitude of yours," she said. "But it's fine... I have abandoned any desire to see my great-grand-children a long time ago."

Other day, I slipped into her room, threw out my chest and proclaimed that I was going to auction all of the contents of library to the highest bidder in Konoha.

"That's alright, I suppose," she said wearily and laid her head down on her pillow, tired. "I have realized that knowledge must be shared with others. It is not noble to keep such massive treasure of knowledge hidden away like this or it will be forsaken."

"Are you fine with everyone knowing every single, ancient, revered secret of the legendary Fukuro clan that you had spent whole your life protecting? Obaa-san, are you out of your mind? Have you totally lost it?"

"Such impertinence!" I was almost relieved to hear those words from her mouth again although her voice now sounded weak and lacked that rumbling ferocity it always had in it.

I had tried to appeal to her innate pride yet again. "What will our ancestors say?"

She just smiled jadedly. "I will deal with them when I meet them."

Her words disturbed me.

I found myself growing more and more desperate as the days passed, going far enough to call a whole team of Konoha's most renowned doctors and medics, including Shizune at the shrine but Obaa-san scared them all away with that icy dragon glare of hers that was somehow, still as effective as ever despite her ailment. She would sit there all day long, never uttering a word, listening to the nightingales and linnets that twittered and trilled outside her window. Sometimes, I would sit there wordlessly, trying to soak in her familiar presence. As she stared unseeingly at the very first soft and virgin plum blossoms of the springs, suddenly, she started talking. "I have been thinking about him a lot lately," she said.

My arms around my legs tightened and I lifted my head from my knees to stare at her. "Who?"

A wistful smile appeared on her lips. "He was my first love," she sighed. "These plum blossoms remind me of him. That day is still fresh in my mind… I remember the frost that had settled over trees and grass in that serene, blue morning. He had come to me with a plum blossom that had bloomed first after a long winter. I still remember how cold that flower was, yet under the thin layer of ice, its petals were velvety and vibrant as ever. He was just like that plum blossom."

I smiled. "So grandfather was like that?"

"No, silly girl!" she said suddenly. "My first love was not your grandfather. He was someone else… He was an Uchiha."

My mouth dropped open. "You… You were in love with an Uchiha once?" I said. "Didn't our ancestors forsake you and brand you or something?"

"They would have…" she said pensively. "They would have killed us both for it."

"So you ditched him and married grandfather instead?"

"No, before I could do that, he died on a mission, as a shinobi," she said, her eyes strangely blank. "He died for Konoha."

For a while I was unable to say anything. "But they why do you hate Uchihas so much?"

"Because Uchihas killed both my parents in the warring period," she said bitterly. "I found that out later on and told myself I was a fool to have fallen in love with an Uchiha. I crushed any feeling I might have had for him once; I was glad that he had died… I then married the one I had been betrothed to whole my life, your grandfather and forgot all about the man I truly loved and now…"

I didn't miss the tears shimmering unshed in her citrine-green eyes even though she tried to hide them from me by turning away. "I wondered how it would have turned out if he hadn't died. Could we have eloped, left everything behind? Could the things have been different? I have made many mistakes in my life, Miyuki. So many regrets… so much guilt... I would never be able to die a peaceful death now. I wonder if he could have saved me from all this."

"Obaa-san… what are you saying?"

"Nothing," she said, her eyes hardening once again and I realized that she had once again retreated behind her fortress. "Go and train, Miyuki, or your skills will get rusty if you kept sitting here with me like this."

I was not remotely surprised when it happened; I had already foreseen it, of course, yet knowing about it beforehand didn't make it any less difficult or painful for me. As I looked frantically at her sweat covered, parchment forehead, the wrinkles and grooves deepening in her neck with every arduous breath she took, I already knew. I could already see it.

I held her shriveled hand in my both of mine, unmindful of the torrents of tears spurting from my eyes. "Death," she gasped out. "As I expected, it is not peaceful… not… not peaceful at all."

"Tell me what I can do to make it easier," I sobbed.

"I made a very grave mistake, M-Miyuki," she stammered with her last breaths. "Th-That is what is killing me right n-now."

" _What?"_

"That boy…" she whimpered. "I remember his eyes. Those fierce, dark eyes of his as we ordered him. When w-we asked him to do something so inhuman, the unthinkable, the im-impossible…"

" _Who? What?"_

"…Heinous… monstrous…unforgivable."

" _What are you talking about, Obaa-san?"_

"His sacrifice… his pain…" she sobbed tiredly. "It won't let me live. It won't even let me die either. Miyuki… you will find a green scroll on the third row, fifth shelf of the library."

"What… What is in that scroll, Obaa-san?"

"Everything… The truth." She reached forward and touched my chin gently with his thin, trembling fingers. "You have been a good grand-daughter to me, Miyuki, and that's why… I must… I must ask you to do this. Bring that boy to justice. Make everyone acknowledge his sacrifice. Now that I have told you about this, your life will be full of hardships and pain. Danzo… Danzo Shimura… he'll hunt you down. But you must persevere. You must stand strong, by that boy's side. This truth… shall not be buried with me… do you hear… understand?"

" _Obaa-san!"_ I wailed in desperation.

"I c-can't die peacefully until I have your promise."

I closed my tear-filled eyes. "I promise."

Her eyes softened and finally grew serene. "You… you don't have much time. Now that I have told another, the curse-seal will be activated soon. He will come after you. Go quickly… Miyuki, and leave me. Farewell. I… want to meet the death alone."

….

Obaa-san's death had rendered me unable to think coherently and the fresh agony of it had numbed me down to my fingertips, so I had no idea what to expect when I made the seal with trembling fingers. I had watched plaintively as the rune wafted off into smoke and the familiar library around me disappeared.

I was in impersonal-looking Hokage's office, watching everything from Obaa-san's eyes. Lord Sandaime sat in the front on his desk with his ancient chin propped over his interlaced fingers while Danzo sat on the other side of Obaa-san, his snide, calculating eyes full of malice.

"Uchihas are assembling again tonight," Danzo said spitefully.

"I know about it as well" Hokage sad, "but you already know that we cannot interfere with their rituals."

"Rituals indeed," Danzo scoffed. "They are going to incite the flames of suspicion against us and use it to unite the clan. They are preparing for coup d'état."

"Have you acquired the proof of it, Danzo?" Obaa-san inquired evenly. "It is true that they have been having these confidential meeting since a long time but, to accuse them of such a thing…"

"Lady Fukuro," Danzo said sordidly. "Soon I will have that proof. It would not take long now…"

"Well," Obaa-san said with a flinty look in her eyes. "If that is the case, if Fugaku Uchiha does, indeed, plan to revolt against Konoha and harm even more people than he already did, like in that Nine-tail thirteen years ago…"

"Lady Fukuro," Sandaime interjected. "We do not have any proof that Uchihas really were behind that attack. We cannot make such assumptions based on these suspicions and rumors…"

"That's because they killed the one who did have a proof," Obaa-san shot back. " _My own son_! Well, I am telling you, Hiruzen, if Uchiha tried to revolt, I will do whatever it takes, no matter how drastic it is, to stop them."

Danzo smiled thinly.

The scene changed. Sandaime Hokage along with the council of elders was sitting over the table and it seemed like they were waiting for someone. Obaa-san kept tapping her thin, ancient fingers lightly on the table in impatience. The whole atmosphere was dark and tense.

"Come in," Sandaime said.

The door opened and fifteen years old Itachi appeared, wearing his ANBU outfit, his mask pushed back on the side of his ear to reveal his handsome, aloof yet determined face. He crouched down on one knee with an arm resting over it and bowed proudly.

"Speak, Itachi," Sandaime said. "What report do you have today?"

"Uchiha clan plans to revolt against the Konoha," Itachi said impassively. "They are planning coup d'état on 15th of October this year."

"Have you acquired the proof of that?" Danzo asked, obviously simpering inside.

"Hai."

Deathly silence filled the office.

"We cannot allow such a thing," hissed another elder, a woman with gray hair who was sitting next to Obaa-san. "If they plan to start a revolution and usurp our power, we have no choice but to judge Uchiha as traitors of the Leaf."

"Wait Koharu, don't rush to that decision," Hokage said, trying to ameliorate the situation. "Maybe we can still solve this by negotiation."

"Negotiations are wasted on Uchihas, Hiruzen," Obaa-san stipulated. "You already know this. Fugaku Uchiha would not listen to us, if his mind is already made. He will not be dissuaded."

"We must take radical measures to avoid mayhem," Danzo said, training his devious eyes on Itachi, "and that includes innocent children."

"Don't say such things in front of Itachi," Hokage chastised Danzo. "Beside, taking on Uchihas will be no easy task. There's got to be some strategy we can use."

"We have no time to waste," Obaa-san said.

"We must strike preemptively," Danzo agreed.

….

"You already know there is no other way, Lady Fukuro," Danzo said. "If killing ten would save lives of hundred, then I would kill those ten without blinking. It is the only way to avoid chaos in Konoha and keep our reputation untarnished."

"But to ask such a thing from a fifteen-year-old…" Obaa-san said dubiously. "If we involve whole ANBU force, then this task would still be completed successfully. Let the boy side with his clan. No matter how much I detest Uchihas, he has every right to defend his family and fight alongside it."

"But if Konoha ANBU force carries out this mission, our name will be tainted," Danzo interrupted. "People will lose trust in us."

"But I cannot ask him to carry this tremendous burden alone, Danzo. He is just a boy!"

"It is the only way, Lady Fukuro. And though he might only be fifteen years old, he already has the wisdom and mental capacity of a Hokage. Moreover, his loyalty for the village is immeasurable and unquestionable."

"And you thought you could use it to manipulate him, did you now?" Obaa-san said derisively. "Nevertheless, it doesn't sit well with my conscience. I must discuss this with Sandaime. We must not act alone."

Suddenly the expressions over Danzo's usually unemotional, simpering face twisted into something more dangerous, lethal. "You will not utter a word of this to Hokage!" he seethed. "This mission _will_ be carried out. You will not stop me. I will protect Konoha and the name of this council."

"You are a coward then!" Obaa-san snarled, looking at him as if he was some insect crawling beneath her feet. "You cannot stop me either, Danzo. I am going to notify Hiruzen right now—"

Suddenly, about ten ANBU members of the root appeared and circled Obaa-san threateningly. "What is the meaning of this, Danzo?" she demanded in her most dignified, thunderous voice.

"I am going to brandish you with a curse-mark," Danzo said with barely-concealed relish. "If you told anyone about this, I _will_ find out. Your granddaughter… Fukuro Miyuki, right? I did already ask her to join the Root. Sadly, she refused."

"Just what I would expect from my granddaughter!"

"It is very unfortunate, indeed," Danzo said. "It would be even more unfortunate if something was to happen to her, just because her grandmother couldn't keep her mouth shut..."

" _You will not touch my granddaughter, you swine! You will keep your claws away from her!"_

"And you will tell no one about this," Danzo said darkly. "The truth must be buried with me, you and that boy. Do we have a deal?"

…..

The scene changed again. Now, there were two figures standing in the dark night, washed over sinisterly by the cold moonlight. Two massive, stone statues stood against the building, surveying the scene in front of them with their eerie, hollow eyes.

"Despite what Sandaime said, he will move to protect Konoha if push comes to shove," Danzo was saying. "That's the kind of man he is. In this case, even Hiruzen as a hokage will have no choice but to take decisive measures. Whether it results in war or not, when coup d'état happens, the Uchiha will inevitably lock themselves in fate of annihilation, including your innocent, little brother. He will have to die as well."

"Is that a threat?" Itachi said slowly, quietly, the way he always spoke in times like this, like a still surface of the lake with a tempest hidden in its depths.

"No, I want you to make a choice," Danzo said.

Itachi said nothing and his eyes remained cold and impassive as ever, never betraying anything.

"Either align with Uchiha, launch coup d'état and die along with your clan. Or side with the Leaf, save your little brother before coup d'état and help us annihilate all the other Uchihas. The only shinobi that can be entrusted with this mission is you, the double agent for both Uchiha and the Leaf. There is no one else, Itachi."

The wind sighed plaintively, finding no mercy in the cold stone contours of the building. It made Itachi's midnight-black hair flutter softly, almost as if it was pleading with him. Still, he said nothing and continued to stand there silently, proudly even. Even when all his skies were shattering down upon him.

"This will be the most painful mission for you," Danzo was saying in a soft yet firm voice. "But on the other hand, it will allow your little brother to be spared. I know you care about the village as much as I do. Will you accept this mission?"

* * *

 _There are times my feelings sway, Shisui. There are times when I can no longer see the peace when I close my eyes. Did I do the right thing? Should I have just killed Sasuke that night instead of subjecting him to a fate like this? He is still so weak, too weak, and that is because I am not strong enough._

 _I thought that their hatred and disdain would be my penance, but that is not really true, is it? It was just my arrogance speaking. They do not hate me, Shisui; they fear me as one fears God or the devil. They fear me as one must never fear a human. Should I laugh? I am a monster, Shisui. Why must I be a monster in my own hometown, my Konoha, the place I gave up my everything for? I would be lying if I said I did not detest the fear and revulsion in their eyes. I would be lying if I denied ever having a compulsion to stand on my mother's grave and yell at them that everything I did was only for them and their peace. That if the heaven exists, it can only exist in an eye of hurricane, surrounded by inferno of hell. There are times, Shisui, dark times when my resolve weakens. I want to kill them, kill them all and spill as much blood as it takes, if it would resurrect my mother, my father, my clan… I am as weak as I am strong, as pathetic as I am proud, as broken as I am invincible._

 _My own little brother doesn't hate me either, not the way I want him to, at least. To him, I might as well be a God._

 _No one asked me why. No one. Except for her._

 _Why._

 _A foolish question really. It changes nothing; nothing at all. In fact, I don't even know why our language allowed such a useless word to be invented; if it was up to me I would probably ban the damned word. But… why did it mean so much to me that she still trusted me enough to ask it? Am I truly that selfish, still craving for the things that would shatter with a slight touch of my hand, like dandelion in the wind?_

 _I had not intended to see her but my feet had carried me to her, like iron to magnet. Like I said, she is there at the end of everything. She does not fear me. She hates me, Shisui, and her hatred tells me that I am redeemable, that I am still a human. In her eyes at least. She hasn't forgotten me nor am I dead to her. Hell, you may think I am mad, but the fact that she wants to end me with her own hands is also a comfort. Selfish, yes, cruel, yes, masochistic even perhaps, but a comfort nonetheless. The reason she wants to kill me is because she wants to forgive me. She never gave up on me, Shisui… She is still mine._

* * *

 **A/N:** Hello! I hope I didn't make you wait too long. So... lots going on in this chapter, hm? It was definitely one of the more daunting chapters to write and I would really appreciate your feedback. I wonder what would Miyuki do now that she knows the truth. :-) Itachi's letters to Shisui are really difficult to write as well. I know they portray him as a saint or an angel, but I never saw him that way. I mean, the dude killed his own parents. No matter what the reason, he must have had a certain darkness in him to be able to do something like this. Don't know if I am doing him justice though. Really, please review and let me know how I am doing. Thank you so much for reading.

 _ **~AnEveningMoth**_


	27. Chapter 27

**CHAPTER 27**

" _Do not go gentle into that good night_

 _Rage, rage against the dying of light"_

 _~Dylan Thomas_

* * *

When my eyes opened, I realized that I was staring at the cracked, dusty ceilings of the library lit up by murky candle light. The tears were still streaming down my face, unrestrained and for a while, _his_ was the only face I would see. "Not now," I said to myself brokenly, shaking my head, because I knew if I started thinking about it now, it would submerge me in, it would drown me till I am unable to surface. I needed to be more level-headed right now. I needed to think… My first impulse was to leave everything and just fly to the Root headquarter so that I could wrap my hands around his ugly, ancient neck and watch him choke and beg for his life. Or better yet, I wanted to cut his every finger off, rip his limbs apart and kill him in the most torturous ways I knew of… Yet, I knew that Danzo had an army of ANBU underneath him and if I went there stumbling in this condition, with rage and my excruciating need for revenge guiding me, I would only end up losing my life. He would win.

And the truth will be lost forever.

Moreover, I knew he would be sending his forces after me soon since the curse seal he had put on Obaa-san undoubtedly would have informed him by now that his secret was already out. Grandmother had already given it away. He would hunt me down now, just like Obaa-san had said he would.

I had no choice but to leave Konoha right now.

Thinking about Obaa-san made my heart wrench painfully and another sob raked through me. "Not now," I whispered to myself over and over again like a mantra, hanging on to my own words, as if they were the only thing that could save me. "Not now. Think about it later. Later, not now."

So, numbing myself to this unbearable pain transiently, I staggered my way to my room instead, threw few important things haphazardly in my backpack and gathered my ninja gear.

Just before I could leave though, I furtively slipped into grandmother's room. Her still body stretched over her futon was already getting cold although rigor mortis had not set in yet. Her eyes were closed and she looked finally at peace, free of her burden. "Sorry," I whispered. "I wouldn't be there for your funeral. Goodbye, Obaa-san."

….

I was already about fifty miles away from Konoha. I had used another hidden trail over the mountains to escape rather than the main-gate because I didn't want to set foot in the main confines of the village. There the life went on, the people lived happily, and they smiled and laughed, all at the price of someone else's pain. They were privileged enough to be able to hate someone like Itachi with clear conscience. God, how I hated them. Them and myself. My mind was a dark and cold place. I wanted to kill them all. I wanted to burn the whole village down. I wanted them to suffer along with myself… I wanted…

" _If someone is happy, it is because somewhere, someone else is suffering for it."_

With an aggrieved cry, I found myself falling down into the forest floor and straightened myself up just in time. Earlier, I had sensed ANBU members' chakra spread across the entire forest; they were, no doubt, scavenging the whole area for me, but I had enough presence of mind at that time to conceal my chakra completely. Now, I could tell that no one was on my trail and they had finally lost me. I knew I still couldn't allow myself to drop my guard yet but I could only be strong for so long.

This time, I didn't fight the tears as they came and grief broke me like a glass hourglass. I wrapped my arms around my quivering body and fell to my knees. I was glad that the night had finally fallen dark, cold and merciless. Few stars flickered plaintively over the celestial realms with a saturating loneliness, almost as if they were singing a lament of sacrifice for all those people who had suffered in silence. My thoughts were tumultuous. Names and words ran through my mind like autumn storm of leaves, dead and lifeless. Oba-san, whose blood still ran like an oozing sap from a decaying tree; my mother, my father, my Uncle… Itachi.

"… _Even if the King is more precious to me, why must I not sacrifice him for what is right? Sacrifice is, after all, shinobi's greatest virtue."_

" _You have to lose many certain things in order to achieve something..."_

"… _You must not judge people based on your own preconception and their appearances."_

"… _Live your life, instead, in that illusion of the world and forget everything."_

"Itachi," I whispered as if this pitiless wind could carry my selfish voice to him.

 _How did you live, all these years? How did you live?_

 _Why did you not retaliate? Why did you not retaliate?_

"I am sorry… Oba-san… Itachi."

I fell asleep, curled up there over a branch of a cedar tree and when I woke up in the blue, hazy morning, my mind was clearer than ever. As I took a dip in cold lake nearby, I started making all the plans in my mind. It was possible that I would never be able to return to Konoha now because Danzo's henchmen were going to chase me down and kill me in order to keep me from spilling out the truth. I was probably labeled the Missing-nin at this point… Not that I wanted any ties or connections with that damned village anymore anyway.

There was only one path for me to take now.

I had to find Itachi.

…

It wasn't as easy as it sounded. For starters, I didn't have a clue where Akatsuki headquarters could be or what Akatsuki even did; all I knew was that they were called Akatsuki and they were a highly secretive organization that left no trace whatsoever whenever they made any movement, which of course made it almost impossible to find them. On the tenth day of searching meticulously and wandering around in various disguises for the information, I managed to find some leads. Although, nobody seemed to know much about Itachi, one of the villagers had presumably seen a blue man with a huge sword somewhere near Amegakure.

As I neared the border of Amegakure, the steady drizzle of the rain falling incessantly from the heavy, moonstone sky soaked deep into my clothes and began to slow me down. There was general despondency and gloom in the misty air and I found myself wondering how people lived here in a place where the sun almost never shone. Realizing that I only had a stale bread to eat in the morning, I used transformation jutsu to disguise myself and entered a small, dingy tavern for something to eat.

Next to me, a boy, about eighteen years of age, kept prattling about how he had seen an angel hovering in the air with his own eyes, not two days ago. "You are making that up," the pub-owner sneered as he wiped the glass bottle with a dusty cloth.

"No, I am not!" the boy declared emphatically. "She was an angel… or a goddess maybe? Her eyes were like two great seas of loneliness collapsing together. And her hair! Her beautiful blue hair and her large wings—"

The tavern-owner barked with laughter. "Don't be a fool, lad, had the angels and goddesses really existed then people like Hanzo would never have been sent to this earth."

"I am telling you the truth!" he insisted hotly. "She really did have wings, and she was wearing a black cloak, with red clouds over it—"

I immediately spilled the water I was trying to drink over the table. "Where did you see her?" I demanded severely, grabbing him by his collar. "Answer me right now!"

He blinked at me fearfully. I didn't blame him; I was impersonating some old, grubby hermit I had seen in one of the villages that nobody dared to come close to. "I…I saw her near the slums, on the western side of Amegakure..."

I was already out of the tavern a second later and was running at full speed towards the village hidden in the rain. In my eagerness, I had failed to notice about ten hunter-nins on my trail, their malicious chakras immaculately hidden.

I could almost feel the excitement tingling in my fingertips; somehow, I could tell that I was close to him now, so close… _so close_ …

Just then I found myself surrounded by ten ANBU members, their faces concealed behind their animal masks, but being an ANBU member myself, I could tell that they belonged to the Foundation and worked under Danzo.

" _Damn!_ " I hissed as I swung out my sword, berating myself for not having concealed myself as vigilantly as I had before. I had been careless, had allowed myself to drop down my guard in the last moment in my excitement, my anticipation to see Itachi. Despite the dire situation, I almost felt _honored_ that Danzo had thought of sending so many after me. Did he think that it would take these many to incapacitate an old, ordinary me?

"Stay back!" I said, bending one of my knees, taking on a defensive stance. "Stay the hell back or I am going to gut you all and hang your entails on the trees as a special treat for hawks!"

Nobody reacted to my extraordinary threat. My legs trembled, for I knew that I was no match for ten of them. But I also knew that I couldn't allow myself to get caught like this. Not like this… Not when I had already made it so far. Not when I still had so much to do… so many promises to keep… things to set right…

"Fukuro Miyuki," their leader enunciated. "Turn yourself in quietly, or we will disable you and drag you back, even if we have to break a limb or two. It is nothing personal."

"The hell you will!" I dexterously disemboweled the two of them with a single strike of my katana and sent another flying towards a tree with a kick in his abdomen. "Go and tell this to your god-damned leader… He will never best me or my Obaa-san! _Teishi Jikan!"_

I fought desperately, and with every blow they landed on me, I couldn't help but think how close I had been, to Itachi. If only I had been a bit more cautious… I had already made it this far… But now, I was getting too exhausted; I was running out of options and my moves were slowing down. The days of sleeplessness and exhaustion were finally encroaching on me, rendering all my moves ineffective. Finally, a single, hard blow on my head blackened my world and I was sent hurtling into abysmal darkness.

 _Forgive me… Obaa-san… Itachi._

….

When I drifted back into consciousness again, I realized that my whole body was stiff and sore and my wrists and arms were shackled by chakra ropes against cold, concrete brick wall. Instinctively, I tried to do the technique to break free of the chakra-ropes but then I realized that those bastards had probably given me a chakra-eating pill that Hana always kept with her, that had power to block every chakra receptor in the body. "Damn," I whispered, trying to rely on my muscle strength to break through the shackles but I might have been trying to move a mountain in vain.

"Struggling is futile, Fukuro Miyuki," said a cold, familiar voice that raised goosebumps over my skin.

"Danzo Shimura," I spat. My hands curled into fists and a wave of intense loathing washed over me as I watched him appear in front of me, his beetle-like eyes appraising me dispassionately. It made me think of graves full of maggots and black-holes. I suppressed a shudder, looking at him with more courage than I felt.

"I had once offered you a place in Foundation," he said. "Pity you refused. I will be merciful enough to make that offer once again. Your kekkei genkai is too unique to waste, Fukuro Miyuki, and it could be put to a great use in assassination missions. In case you agree to collaborate with me, I will put a curse-mark on you, just like I did to your grandmother."

" _Go to hell_!" I hissed. "I will sooner commit seppuku rather than becoming the Root's dog!"

His lips curled, the cross-shaped scar over his skin deepening in vile, disgusting manner. "Very well then, I cannot, in good conscience, allow you to live, especially not after your grandmother's betrayal… Such a pity, to die as a traitor to Konoha..."

"Don't speak a word about her from your vile tongue! I will rip it out of your mouth and feed it to sharks! You and your fucking loyalty to that damned village doesn't even amount to one-hundredth of the person she was!"

"First and foremost duty of a shinobi is to be able to keep important secrets of the village," he said. "And your grandmother broke this very basic—"

" _Afraid_ , aren't you?" A grotesque smirk twisted my lips. "You are a coward, Danzo. That's all you are and have always been. You hide behind that sick organization of yours. You said you didn't care for your reputation yet you were willing to tarnish the _village's hero—_ you were willing to sacrifice the most loyal shinobi of the village and make him do all your dirty work, just so the pigs like you can sit on your throne of bones and skulls, and talk about fancy words like loyalties as if you actually understand what it means! You are just a coward and filthy hypocrite! And know this, Danzo," I leaned towards him and said slowly. "I am going to _reveal_ you for what you are, even if I have to _burn down_ this whole village of yours to make people see!"

"Enough!" he spoke calmly but I could sense a sliver of fear enter his eyes. "Sorry to disappoint you, Fukuro Miyuki, but your life ends here. You will not be able to do anything. You will die here, knowing that you are a failure, a worthless human who protected no one—neither your lover, nor your grandmother's body."

My blood ran cold. "What did you do to her body?"

Why didn't I think of that? Someone as proud and dignified as Obaa-san, lying there so peacefully on her deathbed; her face had been so calm, so undefeated... The possibility of mutilation had never even crossed my mind. I thought she had been invincible even in her death.

"You don't need to know. You will be joining her soon anyway—"

" _I said what did you do to her body, you bastard?"_

"You die here," he intoned. "It's over for you."

"You think it is over, huh?" I smiled again, so widely, so insanely that my jaw cracked. "Has it not occurred to you that I might still have a scroll hidden somewhere, waiting to be revealed to the world? You don't know us Fukuros, do you? They say knowledge is our greatest weapon or have you not heard? I took all the necessary precautions, Danzo. It will not be over just because you kill me. That secret of yours will _not_ die here. I made sure of it."

This time, I could see astonishment, mingled with unadulterated fear enter his single, black eye. He obviously hadn't expected that. "Where is that scroll, Fukuro Miyuki?" he said and I could perceive raw fury in his voice. He was afraid. He was desperate. He was unsettled. I could sense it and it made me smirk. Unhinged as I was.

"You think I will just tell you, just because you ask me?"

"I will make you go through the pain you cannot even imagine," he said. "You do realize that the Root specializes in interrogation, don't you? Before long, you will be spilling out all the secrets yourself and begging me to kill you."

My fingers tightened in my fists until my nails dug into my palms. Of course, I knew that was where it was going to lead to, but it had been an imprudent impulse; human's innate desire to survive, to keep living, to keep breathing, even if the existence is nothing but scarlet agony of burning coals and in contrast, death is like a warm, comforting blanket. But if I died now, nothing would change. Because if I died now, I would be a worthless failure, just like Danzo had said I would be. So I tried to fight the fear away and looked at him boldly.

"Do your worse."

…

There had been mandatory lectures on the physiology of pain I had attended as a part of my ANBU training in dealing with pain and torture. The pain was cumulative; it amplified. It wasn't something you just got used to of, even if it was steadily increased, unlike other things; the pain lowered the threshold of the body's ability to withstand it and so, increasing the intensity of the pain only made you more sensitive to it, which, of course made it very hard to deal with.

At first, I remembered what I had learnt in that brutal training and tried to deal with it that way. _Keep yourself from biting your tongue, cough out loudly so that it would distract you from the pain of the blow, don't stiffen your muscles because it would make it worse, and relax instead to allow more oxygen to perfuse your muscles… Count your breaths… count the raindrops falling outside this dungeon… Anything is achievable if you just control your thoughts... Mind over matter. Think… focus… this pain is not real… this pain is not real…_

But it was really real.

 _This is your punishment, for not believing in him, even when you promised you would stand by him, no matter how many times the sky fell, no matter what he had to go through, no matter how many enemies he made, even if it led you to the bowels of hell, you promised… to protect him… Yet, you called him a monster when you last met him. Do you think this little pain of yours can even compare to what he went through?_

"I am sorry, Itachi!"

I realized I was sobbing. This sheer pain was overpowering my mind…. My head, my chest, my arms, down to my littlest fingers and the roots of my hair, throbbed, hurt and burnt. And my remorse and guilt only made it worse.

Did I really deserve this?

 _Of course_ , said a relentless voice inside of me. _How many people have you killed in your lifetime? Did you think you would suffer no retribution? Did you think that their tortured souls would not one day seek their revenge? Did you think your karma would not find you?_

"But… But it was for the village!"

 _What village?_ A voice laughed in my head with derision. _You tainted yourself, spilled so much blood and killed so many, for a village that would not hesitate to brandish an innocent with a sin? A village that only plays with people's loyalties and allegiances? A village that soaks up all the gore sacrificed for it as if it is nothing and leaves people desolate and barren as a desert? A village whose soil is drenched in blood of all the innocent people massacred for it and yet it grows no tree? Is this the village you are trying to protect?_

"No…No…" I shook my head, as another wave of white, hot agony overwhelmed me and vanquished me until my whole body was cracking open.

"Where is that scroll?" they said. "This pain won't subside unless you tell us where you have hidden it."

I wanted to beg them just to kill me. Anything… Anything, to end this pain… to make it go away… " _Go to hell!"_ I choked out instead, but I knew I was losing my mind soon. I was so close to surrendering… so close…

They left me sometimes and the effect of narcotics they gave me often would wear off a little. I realized I was in some cold, dark cell in a dungeon with a small window on the wall to my left. I was also aware of the fact that it had rained here incessantly for days, which meant that this hideout of the Root was established somewhere near the border of Amegakure, and not in Konoha as I had initially thought. It made me feel even lonelier somehow…

I had been remembering Ryusei, Hana and Shikaku-sensei a lot as well, their winsome, kind smiles, always there to welcome me with open arms and accept me unconditionally for who I was. Were they trying to find me? What would they do if they knew that I was tied somewhere in a desolate cell, being tortured on daily bases… But then again, I had been the one who had walked out on them, not giving them a single thought when I had left the village in the heat of moment, as if the bond that had taken years to be forged had suddenly meant nothing to me. Just how ungrateful and selfish was I? Maybe I really did deserve all this…

I knew that I was giving in to the most vicious monster of all, according to grandmother; the _self-pity_. _It destroyed you slowly, insidiously_ , she would say. _It makes you die several deaths before you have truly died. Do not, under any circumstances, ever let it subjugate you._

"Obaa-san," I whimpered. "Save me."

But she didn't come. Nobody did.

I knew that in the end, you had to save yourself. These were the times when nobody came to your rescue, no matter how much they truly loved you. And as a shinobi, you had to learn to believe only in yourself because only you could be your greatest hero. But right now, I didn't even have the strength to open my eyes. Sometimes, when my world was black, I would focus on the steady _drip drip_ of the rain outside my window to mark the time, every agonizing moment of my life that felt like an eternity of hell in here. Sometimes, that was the only thing that kept me sane.

But it hurt.

But it hurt so much.

I was suspended in the bottomless depths of an ocean, drowning and drowning, over and over, again and again in those cruel waters, with not even a gossamer-thin thread to be my redemption. There was no harbor, no island and these cruel, black waters extended from horizons to horizons.

"Itachi…"

 _You can be my only salvation._

…..

" _Itachi? I want you to show me how to kill myself."_

 _His eyes had widened slightly before he composed himself. "Kill yourself?"_

" _You know that suicide-explosion technique?" I clarified casually. We had been having an intense training session in preparation for a rather dangerous ANBU mission in the coming week and were now sitting on the grass near our waterfall, exhausted with the entire excursion. "We both know that this mission is not like other missions… They might capture any of us. We need to be prepared if such a thing happens, just in case."_

" _It won't happen," he said flatly. "Not on my watch."_

 _I rolled my eyes. "Anything can happen," I said with quiet emphasis. "We, as shinobi, have long accepted the fact that we can die anytime, at any moment, at any place. That we can't always be there to protect each other no matter how much we want to, right? So stop being such a stubborn ass and just show it to me!"_

" _No," he said succinctly, with absolute finality to his voice and firm resolve in his implacable eyes. I knew he wouldn't be swayed so easily. He sheathed his katana and stood up, obviously to leave._

" _Itachi!" I said. "What if they captured me and tortured me until I spilled out all the integral secrets of Konoha and died as some kind of a failure? Is that what you want?"_

" _Then don't give in to torture," he said, looking at me from over his shoulder. "Fight till your last breath. Don't die, no matter what, you hear me? You can't die. That's an order from your captain."_

" _Easy for you to say," I scoffed._

" _Lately…" he hesitated. "When you send your chakra pulse in the wind, I can sense it… I am pretty sure nobody else can—it's too slight for that— but for some reasons I can, probably because I am always_ _paying attention to you. Or maybe because I am just good at tracking people down by their chakras, due to my bloodlines..."_

 _When I started to protest, he suddenly appeared right in front of me, crouched on the ground on his one knee. I blinked at him, bemused. He raised his hand to my cheek, his thumb tracing my cheekbone tenderly as his bold, sincere eyes held mine. "So, if you are in trouble," he said softly, "just send your chakra pulse in the wind… No matter where you are, no matter how far away, I will find you."_

…

When I opened my eyes, I realized that for the first time, I could see a single, evening star in the small patch of plum-purple sky visible from my window, winking almost auspiciously. The rain had finally stopped. For a while at least, and just how the clouds had finally left the silky skies so clear, the miasma in my mind had been lifted somewhat as well. For the first time in a while, I could see a sliver of hope, although I dared not acknowledge it for the fear that it would vanish, just like a mirage in the desert, if I focused on it too much.

The usual beatings and the drugs had sucked out most of my chakra and strength but I wouldn't need much of it for what I had in mind anyway. So I gave up struggling in the torture sessions and tried to hang on to a little shred of sanity I had still left inside of me to try and conserve as much chakra as I could. When they finally left me for the night, I would slowly, surreptitiously, send a chakra-pulse in the wind and let it soar outside; hoping the current of breeze would take it away and find him. All the torture was almost worth this.

Sometimes, I would find myself reminiscing my carefree times… Having lunch with Itachi and Mikoto with gurgling Sasuke playing in the background in their sleepy, languorous house… Itachi and I training with our small shurikens in a field full of white clover… My first mission with Ryusei and Hana… Those happy times and the memories were probably no more real than the sun at midnight. They belonged to the spring, so resplendent and bright, full of glittering sunshine… They belonged to the other side of the earth, in another universe.

Yet, these memories had power to make me feel a bit more hopeful. But other times, when the pain was too unbearable, when it was so close to crushing any spirit I might have left in me, the heavy clouds of hopelessness would inevitably descend down upon me once again.

He wasn't coming.

Nobody was coming.

I was all—

"You are all alone!" My tormentor hissed in my ear as he grabbed me by my hair and then delivered a punch in my already heavily lacerated abdomen until I winced in pain. "Give up already and tell us where you have hidden that god-damned scroll. Nobody is coming after you. Maybe they no longer care for you, huh? You ran away from Konoha. You are a traitor to all of them!"

He was right.

"You already know, you cannot win from Danzo-sama. Just tell us where that fucking scroll is and put yourself out of this misery."

In the end, I couldn't win from Danzo.

Because I could feel the fire inside of me extinguishing. I had been surprised that I had survived for so long but now, I could feel it… Everything was already slipping away… I was already falling into perpetual darkness and nobody was coming. It was almost funny that it had to end this way. And here I had always wanted to die a meaningful death with no regrets. But in the end, I couldn't even be my own hero, let alone anyone else's. I was an absolute failure.

"Forgive me… everyone."

But just when I thought I was already far too gone, I heard several new voices. A sound of an explosion and wall crumbling away, rubble raining down and then came the enraged shouts.

"Who the hell is it?"

"How dare you interfere—"

" _Get away from her."_

That voice… Suddenly, I stiffened, not daring to crack open my eyes, for what would I do if it was just another of my hallucinations? I couldn't get my hopes high yet, because the realization that it was nothing, would hurt me more than any torture at this rate… It would _annihilate_ me.

There were sounds of pained screams, a blast of searing heat, and then putrid smell of the singed flesh… Then someone stepped close to me and slashed off the chains holding me up against the wall with a kunai until I collapsed down, hissing in pain as the action jostled several of my injuries. I could feel slight draft of cool wind wash over me from a swish of his clothing as he crouched down in front of him. A hand reached out to touch my cheek with gentle fingertips but I flinched and gasped, automatically curling away from the touch, memories of torture still fresh in my mind.

"It's ok," he said softly. "I won't hurt you. You are safe now."

That voice again…

 _Even after I had lost everything and even when I thought everybody had abandoned me…._

Slowly, I opened my eyes.

" _Itachi?"_

 _You found me._

… _._

Even though, I was still surrounded by gray haze from horizons to horizons, I knew I was no longer chained to a wall. Once I had drifted out of my troubled sleep to find myself lying on the warm, comfortable bed and it had almost made me cry with relief, that I was safe, that I was alive, but then the talons of my nightmares had come for me again and swallowed me whole. I was still dreaming about the torture, thinking of my worthlessness, the remorse, the guilt, the pain… Yet I knew I was safe, wherever I was.

Sometimes I would hear voices, other than those of my nightmares…

"…Why did you bring her here, Itachi-san? Akatsuki doesn't just accept every vagabond or a missing-nin roaming around. You already know that we..."

"…Not here to join Akatsuki, Konan-san, I assure you. She is just here because she requires Medical attention…"

"…Her level of injuries requires special medics. I can only help as much… And why do you want this girl healed?"

"…interrogate her about something."

"Who is she anyway, Itachi-san, I wonder? Literally, the look on your face when you first saw her all tortured and pained… It was quite _scary_ , even by your standards. I hope she isn't your only _weakness_ that you had been trying so hard to hide. After all, you were the one who said that even the strongest shinobis have _some_ weakness. And if she truly is your weakness…"

"Kisame-san, you know what they say? Those who bark seldom bite."

"…Well, since you killed your whole clan, everyone who was important to you just so you won't have any weakness left, she must not be all that important. Yet, your _expressions_ , Itachi-san… I haven't ever seen you slip like that. Also, you opted straight for Amaterasu even though you know it taxes your…"

"What are you getting at, Kisame?"

"Also, it was quite creepy in my opinion, how you knew just where she would be. Even my Samehada had sensed no chakra and yet you knew… It's pretty… _concerning_. I sure hope she doesn't make you _weak_."

"Kisame-san."

"Now, now, don't show me that Sharingan of yours, Itachi-san. It's just all very interesting to me. That's all I am saying… Very _interesting_ , indeed…"

Just when I drifted back into sleep, I realized that they were probably talking about me… And that was just absurd. Itachi didn't have a weakness. And even if he did, I certainly wasn't the one. That honor belonged to Sasuke and Sasuke alone. Even though that brat didn't even know anything about Itachi, the whole truth…

One night, for the first time, I felt strong enough to be able to open my eyes. For a while, I saw nothing even though I blinked desperately, trying to escape the dark realm of my nightmares and in my panic-stricken state, I feared that they had _blinded_ me… But then those hazy cobwebs left my eyes and the room came into focus. It was bathed eerily in soft glimmer of moonlight. My eyes raked over each and every contour of the room and then a movement in my peripheral vision startled me.

Itachi was leaning against the window, just beyond the silvery rectangle casted on the floor by the moonlight streaming in. For a while, we just looked at each other, his eyes inscrutable as ever as he stood there in a halo, dressed in black with moonlight glancing off his powerful form and highlighting the side of his face, making his sharingan shimmer eerily in the night. The whole room had an air of unreality to it, as if it was just another one of my incongruous dreams and he was some kind of angel of deliverance.

"You are awake," he stated at last.

"Where…" I cleared my throat. "Where am I?"

"Akatsuki Headquarters," he said. "However, do not make the mistake of thinking that you are any safer here than you were in that dungeon."

I just smiled faintly at that. His threats no longer scared me. "Of course," I whispered.

His eyes narrowed at my uncharacteristic response. "How did you know I was here?" he inquired coolly although I could sense his mounting frustration underneath.

"I… _didn't,_ " I said, too serenely. "I just _hoped_ you would be there… and you were."

"You sent your chakra pulses in the wind," he said slowly. "That was used once as a signal between us… Why did you think of calling me?"

"You once said… that if I did that, you would find me."

His lips curled into a mocking smirk although it no longer had power to disturb me. "And what made you think I would _try_ to find you? That I would come to your rescue?"

I met his unnerving gaze unflinchingly. "You did."

"I could have easily left you there," he pointed out and I could see his hands clenching into fists. "I could have easily ignored your signal."

"But you didn't."

"There was a reason for that," he snapped, lapsing back into his usual icy stoicism. "Don't presume, even for a second, that I saved you because I still have some lingering feelings for you, Miyuki. That would be very foolish."

"Then why did you come?" I whispered, closing my eyes wearily. I could almost feel the drowsiness settling over me again like warm, lulling waves of summer sea. Perhaps all the analgesics and sedatives they had pumped into my veins were making me feel all somnolent and light. But I forced myself to keep my eyes open because I didn't want to stop talking to Itachi just yet, not after all that had happened…

"I wanted to interrogate you," he said. "Why have you abandoned the village? And what business do you have with Danzo?"

 _Danzo._

Suddenly, what little grip I had on reality slackened and then I was falling again, into that perpetual abyss. I heard my own screams, full of agony, as I _begged_ them to kill me just the way he had said I would, in the most humiliating, the most pathetic moments of my life, when the pain was too unbearable, and now, nothing remained but self-disgust and self-abhorrence… And he was there, all that time, observing me with his repulsive beetle-like eye.

Danzo Shimura.

He had almost won. And even now, he was winning.

I realized I was hyperventilating and the tears were streaming down on both sides of my face as my hands clutched at the sheets tightly as a wave of fresh agony shuddered through my whole being. I was drowning once again and trying desperately to hold on to something, _anything_. My chest felt too tight, as if I was buried under some avalanche.

"Miyuki—"

"No!" I snarled, wildly slapping away the hands that reached for my face and curling away into a ball, wrapping my arms around my knees and retreating into a dark place where I continued to shudder. "Get away from me! I will kill you! I will kill you like a pig for slaughter—"

"Miyuki?"

I opened my eyes blearily and realized that it was Itachi, sitting there on the side of my bed, his powerful body so close to mine, almost as if it was shielding me from my worst fears and Danzo Shimura was nowhere to be seen. He had not won.

Itachi was here. Itachi was still here.

He had found me.

I was still breathing.

Danzo had _not_ won.

Looking up at him like that—his familiar midnight hair framing the contours of his chiseled face and his eyes so black and profound, so giving and kind, like oceans—I couldn't help but think that his face was the most beautiful one I had seen in ages. In me arose a desire and longing so strong that it almost manifested into a physical pressure over my chest. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I feared that he would ripple away, just like all my hallucinations, because to me, he still seemed like a surreal dream after all I had went through. So I tightened my shivering arms around my knees instead and squeezed my wet eyes shut.

Slowly, he lifted his hand and touched my cheek.

This time I didn't flinch away as he traced down the path my tears had taken with his thumb and his fingers found my hair, his fingertips soothing against my scalp. "Miyuki," he whispered, closing his eyes, and I could almost hear all his tangible sadness and pain in his voice. For some reasons, it seemed to alleviate the incredible, stifling weight over my chest.

I uncurled my one arm from my knee and touched his hand, holding it tighter over my cheek. "Please… stay this time," I whispered.

Although I didn't hear his reply, the feeling of the callused skin of his palm remained there against the side of my face, warm and reassuring. Suddenly, all my fears seemed almost silly and trivial, just because he was here. Finally, I lost the battle to darkness yet again, and for the first time in a while, my sleep was dreamless.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Here it goes! Reunion! This chapter was bleak, I know, but thanks for putting up with me and reading it till the end. You guys have no idea how nice it is to hear from you nowadays, when the things are so hectic and just a tad harder for me than I expected. So, do let me hear what you think, and thank you yet again :-)_

 _ **~AnEveningMoth**_


	28. Chapter 28

**CHAPTER 28**

I realized that I was in a small room adjoining the infirmary obviously located in the Akatsuki hideout which was run by apathetic, stern-looking woman in her forties, named Nori-san. She was assisted sometimes by a beauteous woman named Konan, with blue hair and an ornamental paper rose in her hair. I could tell that she wasn't exactly a licensed doctor even though she was somewhat proficient in Medical ninjutsu. Sometimes, next door in the main infirmary, I would hear several Akatsuki members grousing and moaning with pain. They were not exactly the definition of silent killers as one would expect them to be but were rather a boisterous, rowdy bunch who frequently indulged in cussing out loudly or just whining about the missions their 'leader' apparently sent them to. I was not allowed to even peek at them, since the door was always locked from outside and barbed with chakra threads and seals. Even so, I tried to gather as much information as I could by just sitting there on the bed and listening, trying to acclimate myself to the new surroundings.

Even though I didn't know much about Akatsuki at this point, I did know that so many missing-nins, listed in bingo books for some unspeakably heinous crimes couldn't be up to any good if they were gathered together like this. However, right now I could care less about their motives. I was just too relieved for having narrowly escaped Danzo to be anxious of anything else. In my opinion, people like Danzo who were actually wolves hiding behind the mask of goodness were far more dangerous than those who were blatantly evil. Itachi had been right; appearances were always deceiving.

He didn't come to visit me again but I knew that it was only due to his influence that I was being allowed to be kept in here, relatively unharmed. And now that I had successfully managed to infiltrate the Akatsuki hideout and get this close to him, I needed to put my plans to work. But I knew it wasn't going to be easy since my body was no longer what it used to be. Even after almost a whole month of recuperating, my muscles still tired easily and I had widespread pains in several parts of my body that refused to go away with any rest or medication. But I knew that slowly I was gaining back my strength and in all honestly, I was lucky to have survived the torture without any major disability, other than the huge scars over my abdomen and back, and loss of two fingers in my left hand; although this would interfere with handseals and my grip over kunais, I would still manage.

One day, Konan opened the locked door and appeared in the small room I was being kept in. I allowed her to do her usual procedure of checking the vitals but just when I thought she would leave, she started talking for the first time.

"Fukuro Miyuki from Konoha, isn't that right?" she inquired.

"Hai," I confirmed, automatically putting my guard up. I wasn't at all surprised that she had done her homework.

"Would you like to come outside?" she said. "Your injuries have healed sufficiently. I imagine you would like stretching your limbs."

"Yeah, okay."

Inside, I was elated at having being given a chance to escape that small, whitewashed room that had been my new prison, if only for a while. My innately keen, curious mind was already trying to soak in as much information as it could, although I tried to appear apathetic as she led me through series of murky stone hallways, simply furnished and lit up by flame torches. I could tell that this hideout was located inside a mountain because of the stone interior.

Wordlessly, we walked into the porch surrounding the peculiarly shaped building of the hideout and the sudden view of open skies startled me after a month of being confined to a small room. The clouds looked gray and impervious as ever and the rain continued to fall. Judging from that, I could tell that we were still somewhere near Amegakure.

She leaned against a wall and for a while, we just scrutinized each other. She was tall, lithe and her frame was strong; her calm, unhurried demeanor implied that she was a powerful, steadfast kind of kunoichi, which wasn't at all surprising since she was a part of Akatsuki, although I had never seen her in our bingo book. A single rose nestling in her hair gave her a look of vulnerability and belied the hardness in her otherwise implacable appearance. But I knew I could never take her lightly.

"I will not beat around the bush," she intoned. "Why haven't you tried to escape yet?"

"I am no fool," I said dryly. "I know you all are bunch of some lunatic S-class criminals and I am not stupid enough to think that you would just let me leave quietly after healing me so kindly like you have. You people obviously want something from me."

"Wise, Fukuro-san," she said, unsmiling. "Yet at the same time, it concerns me that you are taking your captivity so well. I am beginning to think that you might have some ulterior motive. Forgive me, but I have to make sure that you aren't a spy."

"I am no spy," I said, trying to appear as calm as I could even though the anxiety was already trickling inside of me. "I am a rogue ninja now and I no longer have to report to Konoha. I hold no allegiance to any village, so you can rest assured that I won't try anything stupid. Trust me; I wouldn't want to get on the bad side of the cult of psychopaths when I don't even have a village to protect me."

"Then what relation do you have with Itachi-san?"

I paused, making sure that my body language and my expressions betrayed nothing. "He was the captain of my ANBU squad."

"I see," she said, still eyeing me dubiously. I knew she could tell that I wasn't giving away all the information. "Then why did he bring you here?"

Now, I couldn't possibly tell her that I had been the one who had sent him the signal. "How am I supposed to know?" I said with sham innocence. "Ask _him_!"

 _Where is he anyway? Has he forgotten all about me?_

She sighed softly. "Then what do you intend to do now that you are a rogue ninja? I did some research on your kekkei genkai—again, forgive me for prying— but where do you intend to put it to use?"

I shrugged.

Her eyes narrowed at my nonchalant gesture. "Fukuro-san," she said in a soft, chilling voice. "Do not make the mistake of taking Akatsuki lightly. You will regret it… If you tried anything, I will hunt you down and kill you myself."

I just smiled. "Don't worry. I have already been warned. You don't need to—" My voice trailed off and my heart started thudding loudly in my chest when I realized that two cloaked figures were making their way towards us from the other side of a porch, obviously engaged in a heated argument.

"…I am telling you, Kakuzo. Money is not God. There is no fucking chance in hell I will take this mission. You can just—"

"…don't remember giving you a choice, Hidan."

"Look here, you fool! There is nothing Jashin-sama likes more than to see blasphemous bastards like you writhing in pain and if you had any blood in that body of yours, I swear I would have sacrificed your miserly ass a long time ago for my sacred—"

"…Shut up, Hidan. Your old Jashin doesn't scare me. We are taking this mission, like it or not. All the money involved… You are a fool if you think I would just—"

My eyes widened when I realized that these two were listed in our bingo books as well—Kakuzo and Hidan. I pressed myself against the stone wall, trying to be as inconspicuous as I could and for a while, it felt like they would just pass by me without noticing. But then Kakuzo turned to observe me with blatant malice in his anomalous green irises lined with dark sclera.

"Fukuro Miyuki," he said with some sick relish and my eyes widened. I obviously hadn't expected an S-class criminal to know my name.

"Well, well, well," he said. "I had never expected that my prey would just come to me on a silver platter like this. Well, less work for me, I suppose."

"You know this puny, little bitch?" Hidan asked, looking at me with disgusted expressions on his face. "What did she do—stole your precious money and ran away with it?"

"Don't underestimate her," Kakuzo said, eyeing me covetously. "She has lot of bounty over her head, Hidan. That old fool Danzo is willing to pay a lot for her and if you think that I would just let the opportunity of making so much money pass—"

For a while, I was unable to form a single coherent thought in my mind. There was bounty over my head now? What was this world coming to?

"Well," Hidan said with a cringe-worthy smirk as he brought the blade of the scythe, he had been holding, close to his lips and gave it a lick. "She probably has only two pints of blood in her body but I don't think Jashin-sama would mind her as a sacrifice. She looks like she _knows_ pain—"

"I don't think that would be very wise," Konan said. "This girl is Itachi-san's prisoner."

"Uchiha can get another whore if he wants!" Hidan growled, taking a threatening step towards me.

I gave an imploring look to Konan but she just shrugged. "Don't say I didn't warn you two," she said and stepped back. I realized I was on my own against two possibly the most violent pair I had ever come across. Odds definitely weren't in my favor.

Before I could even blink, Hidan brought his scythe down on me in a single, powerful swipe. I barely managed to stagger away just in the nick of time. "Just a drop is all I want," he leered, swinging his scythe again.

I couldn't believe it; my body still hadn't recovered and I was currently out of weapons. Teishi Jikan was the only thing I could use to escape his next attack. This time, Hidan flashed me another repulsive, greedy smile. "Not bad," he said. "Jashin-sama would be pleased."

He swung his scythe again and feeling dizzy with sudden excessive use of my chakra, I remained rooted to the spot as the gray mists shrouded my vision momentarily. I stood there in daze, expecting the worst but the impact never came and when my vision returned, I realized that someone was standing in front of me, holding a kunai against Hidan's scythe.

My heartbeat accelerated wildly when my eyes followed the path up my savior's cloaked shoulder and finally to the familiar midnight tresses of his hair.

 _Itachi._

For a while, I just stood there, frozen—because this was so reminiscent of our ANBU days, when he was our captain, reliable and unbelievably strong, who would always protect us all unfalteringly, no matter what… For some reasons, it also made me remember the first time he had awakened his sharingan, when he had only been a child. When he had still managed to appear between me, Sasuke and the danger just like this, like some unprecedented miracle. That was another era and seemed like million years ago. Yet here he was again.

He turned over his shoulder to give me a steely, rather annoyed look, his sharingan swirling blood-red. "Step back," he said.

I immediately complied, retreating to the safety while he turned to face Hidan again. "What is the meaning of this?" he said in a dark, dangerous voice.

"Get out of the fucking way, Uchiha," Hidan hissed, his vicious eyes fixated on me from over Itachi's shoulder. "You already know how much Jashin-sama thirsts for your fucking _elite_ blood so don't tempt me, Uchiha. If you dared to interfere with my religious matters again, I will gouge those pretty, red eyes of your out and—"

Itachi completely ignored Hidan as if he was just a raving nuisance and turned to Kakuzo. "I would have expected you to be more mature than your partner, Kakuzo-san."

"She has lot of bounty over her head," Kakuzo responded, unrepentant. "You cannot just keep her all to yourself without giving us a share, Uchiha-san. Now that would be very selfish, don't you think?"

"Don't worry," Itachi said dispassionately. "I merely wish to interrogate her about few things. If I kill her later on, I will be sure to give you her head so that you can collect your bounty. Money does not interest me."

To my horror, I could almost hear laughter bubbling in my chest which I stifled hastily, just in time. Itachi's already impeccable acting skills had apparently reached a whole new level and for some reasons, seeing him like this was almost hilarious, because now I knew, for sure, that Itachi wouldn't hurt me—not when he had been considerable enough to stay with me the whole night just to ward off my nightmares.

Hidan unwillingly removed his scythe from Itachi's kunai and swung it over his shoulder, looking thoroughly disgruntled, cussing in a colorful language underneath his breath. Itachi turned around to grab my wrist and I couldn't help but notice how tight his grip actually was.

"Come with me," he said.

As he wordlessly dragged me along, I didn't protest and stared at his back instead. I couldn't help but notice that he had now gotten taller and his frame was broader, but the way his coal-black hair moved slightly, gracefully with every step he took was still the same. Although he appeared calm on the surface, I could tell, just the way I had always been able to, that he was frustrated about something, as if he really was worried that Hidan could have hurt me just a moment ago. His grip on my wrist was unrelenting, almost desperate as if he never wanted to let go and for a moment, I couldn't help but think that it was the only absolute and unequivocally sincere thing in the world that had always been a lie to start with.

That aching pressure of longing over my chest was back and I wondered, yet again, how he had survived in this place… Wasn't putting up a pretense so tiring? Was he really okay with the fact that no one knew the true him? How did he stand all the loneliness? Why had he condemned himself to this hell?

He finally stopped in front of a door within a labyrinth of tunnels and pushed me inside the room before locking the door with decisive _snap._ Unconsciously, I began to shiver in anticipation as he turned to regard me with his familiar crimson eyes.

"Why are you—" he started but I didn't give him a chance to finish. I leapt forward, barely taking in his widened eyes, as I wrapped my arms around him, no longer able to control the insuppressible yearning that was making my blood so hot, just by the sight of him; perhaps I just wanted to be sure that he really was there…

"Miyuki," he said icily, shock evident in his voice, his arms unmoving at his side. "What do you think you are doing? Have you already forgotten—?"

" _I know everything_."

Although it was just a whisper, spoken so achingly in the folds of his cloak, I could tell that he had heard it clearly. His whole body went rigid in my embrace for a moment and then his hand crept up to my wrist. He jerked me away from him and looked straight into my eyes, his own irises gleaming with intensity like smoldering coals.

"Know _what_?" he demanded and underneath all the urgency, I could sense a sliver of fear.

"The truth," I said. "About why you killed your clan."

He merely appraised me impassively, never betraying what he was thinking but his grip over my arm tightened to a degree that it was almost painful. "Oh really?" he said at last, sounding almost bored. "And what exactly is the _truth_? Enlighten me."

Bafflement and anger flared inside of me but I forced myself to suppress it. "It was Danzo," I said. "He was the one who ordered you to slaughter your entire clan in cold blood to prevent coup d'état, wasn't he?" I looked straight at him as I said this because one way or another, I was still looking for the confirmation of this statement.

He remained blank as ever, never allowing even a trace of emotion to enter his eyes but the way his fingers tightened around my wrist, to the point that I could almost feel my bones snapping, was a confirmation enough. "Did Danzo tell you that?" he demanded flatly.

"I saw it with my own eyes."

His eyes widened with incredulity. "You _saw_ it?"

"Memory-preserving scroll," I clarified. "You, Itachi, of all people should know that the truth has a way of revealing itself in the end no matter how much you try to bury it. You... You don't have to pretend in front of me anymore."

He didn't respond. I feared he was going into shock.

"…And you are cutting off my circulation, you know." I gestured towards my hand meaningfully which was turning bloated blue. He immediately let go of my wrist and stepped away from me as if I had burnt him.

"Itachi…"

" _No._ "

His voice was like thunderclap, absolute and final. He retreated further away until he was standing in front of the window on the other side of the room, almost as if he was trying to put as much distance between us as possible, as if I was something potentially toxic.

"The truth," he said finally, "changes nothing."

"It changes _everything_!" I protested, taking a step towards him. I couldn't believe he was acting this way, after all that we had both been through.

"Forget it," he said. "Forget about it all. Like I said, it doesn't matter."

My hands balled into fists at my sides. "How can you ask me to forget about it?" I cried out, letting my fury take over me. "How can I forget…? Now that I _know_ everything you went through… After I know the extent of your pain? Do you think I can just go ahead and _live_ with it, without doing anything about it? The truth changes everything… _I_ will change everything myself!"

"You," he seethed, "will be doing nothing of that sort."

I took a shuddering breath, forcing myself to calm down. Fighting was certainly not what I had planned for our most awaited reunion. "Itachi… Come back with me to Konoha. We will tell everyone… If they know the truth, they will forgive you and accept you for it. I _know_ they will— we have to reveal Danzo for what and who is. Moreover, you don't belong here in this crappy place, Itachi. You sacrificed everything for Konoha… That's where you belong."

For a while he didn't say anything but then his lips curled into a humorless smirk. "Do you think you can just barge in here and tell me what to do and where I belong?"

" _Uchiha_ —"

"Leave, Miyuki," he said softly. "You cannot change my mind. I already told you to forget all about me. Everything, all the torture you went through— it was for nothing. _I_ will personally make sure you cannot change anything. You will only exhaust and destroy yourself in the end if you walk down this path."

We engaged in the battle of wills, our eyes colliding with each other as we glared until I could almost feel the sizzling electricity emanating from both our eyes; his inexorable, steely Sharingan and my fierce, tempestuous hazel-green.

"Fine then!" I snarled at last when he refused to yield. I had obviously known that it wouldn't be that easy but I hadn't expected this much antipathy from him when I was doing all this for his sake in the first place. When the only thought that had kept me alive and breathing when I was in that hellhole had been of this single truth. "It is not like I even need your _endorsement_ for this," I said stiffly. "You can just stay here, wearing that hideous cloak of yours and that tacky nail-polish... Keep on acting all comically evil for all I care. I am going to go and tell everyone the truth myself, even if it is the last thing I do. I am going to bring Danzo down and I will bring you to justice all by myself."

He didn't speak and his eyes seemed to stare past me. "Don't you see?" he said at last, his tone almost imploring. "If people of Konoha learnt about this, they will lose trust in the Council. It will all inevitably lead to another civil war and then Konoha will be destroyed… I cannot allow that to happen."

"I don't care about the war! People of Konoha are all living in a lie anyway… They don't even realize it. I am going to make them see. You just wait— I am going to escape this place and—"

Suddenly, I was roughly shoved against the wall with Itachi's body looming threateningly just an inch away from mine. "What the hell—"

My blood ran cold when I felt his hand slide around my throat portentously and whatever I was going to say flew out of my mouth. As he stared down at me mercilessly with his eyes glowing ominous crimson, I could almost feel the tangible killing intent wafting off him. I had almost never been on the receiving end of his thirst for murder and I learnt that it was a petrifying experience.

"Then I am afraid," he leaned down to whisper in my ear, making me shiver, "I cannot allow you to live."

" _Itachi,_ " I gasped out, punching his chest feebly with my fists as his threatening fingers tightened around my neck. "Are you insane? Let g-go this instant!"

"I already killed my whole clan to prevent this, all of the people I _cared_ for… even the woman who gave birth to me," he said; his breath was harsh against my neck and his grip on my throat unyielding as ever. "What makes you think you should be spared?"

"S-Stop it—"

"Forgive me, Miyuki," he whispered, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead against mine in mock comfort. He was so close now that our breaths were mingling and his hair was sliding against my cheeks, yet our proximity only left me chilled down to my core. There was raw, sheer powerlessness in his voice and that was what scared me the most; I wondered if that was what he said to his parents when he had taken their lives…

He tightened his grip and I started choking and clawing at his unremitting fingers frantically with my nails because I knew that this time, for sure, he really did mean to kill me, just like he had his entire clan. Fear, in its unadulterated form washed over me like a riptide as I continued to struggle and flail about. But my muscles were still atrophied and I hadn't even regained quarter of my normal chakra reserves after all the torture I had been through and who was I kidding anyway? Even with my full strength, I knew that I wouldn't be able to fight him off.

So was it going to end like this? It was ironic almost… The one I would have willingly given my life for was actually the one killing me right now for some God-forsaken village. If his hand wasn't choking the very life out of me, I would have laughed even… And despite myself, I couldn't stop the tears that erupted from my eyes, the tears of betrayal, tears of rage. How _could_ he, after everything I went through for him? How _could_ he—

As the last ditch effort, I lifted my sandaled foot and brought it down over his in a feeble attempt to crush his feet. _"Itachi!"_

Suddenly, his eyes widened as if he had just realized what he was doing. Immediately, his grip over my throat disappeared and he stepped away from me. I was a bit surprised that this gesture that had been used only as joke between us in our better years had actually got through him. I staggered away from him, wheezing and choking for quick mouthfuls of air which burnt my now lacerated airways as it made its entry into my gasping lungs.

"Miyuki…"

"They all _detest_ you in Konoha…" I whispered, with my hand still clutching at my aching throat, my whole body still quivering. "And you _kill_ the ones who love you for those who think you are a monster?"

He continued to stand there almost as if he didn't know what to do. I could see his hands clenching into fists, his tendons protruding.

"…Why," he said in a thick, husky voice I had never heard him use before, "when I have repeatedly warned you; there is only hell for people who care for me."

"I don't know why!" I snarled, clasping my raw throat, not bothering to stop my tears or control my shuddering. "You think I don't know that the way to you is paved with nothing but hurt and pain and hell? You think that I don't know that there is nothing you can give me except sorrow and anguish? I have always known it! But… But I keep coming back to you anyway."

Now he looked at me as if I was a raving lunatic runaway from some asylum.

"You are not the only one, Uchiha," I continued bitterly. "Don't be so full of yourself. I have a duty too. I could kill you too without batting an eye, just like you almost killed me today. I swear I would myself nail you to the tallest tree in Konoha if it would bring you to justice, if it would make them see, if it would stop you from destroying yourself for people who don't give a shit about you… if it means that I could defeat Danzo."

As he looked at me now through his coal-black tresses, his eyes were sad. Incredibly sad. Beseeching, almost.

"Don't," he whispered, "do this."

 _Because you can see it too that I really will have to kill you then._

In spite of the tears and all the insanity, in spite of the fact that his soft words were eating away my heart like vultures picking at carrion, I smiled at him. Somewhere in the back of mind, I had known it always, that it would end like this. If he was the relentless sea in the night, then I was the cliff he broke against. If he was the wildfire, then I was the storm. We were both cruel.

"Forgive me too," I said. "Itachi."

 _If this is to end in fire, then we shall both burn together._

* * *

 _Harbinger made of hemlock and heartache,_

 _Hurricane made of hurt and heartbreak,_

 _You were Hera's lesson of harm and habit,_

 _You were impossible to break,_

 _But I too, like you,_

 _have hidden the strength of Hercules_

 _somewhere inside this harbor body,_

 _that used to welcome hurricanes._

 _I too have always known siren songs that have bewitched men_

 _with more ancient madness than you could ever imagine._

 _I too have spoken words that dripped with cruelty_

 _like a soldier's sword in a battlefield,_

 _I do not use these abilities against you_

 _because I have learned,_

 _I have learned that when you destroy someone you love…_

 _there is no coming back from that._

~Lessons from Hera and Hercules, Nikita Gill.

* * *

 **A/N:** _I am sorry if you have waited long. I have been terribly busy, and still am. Man, hospital seriously sucks the soul out of you. I know this chapter has lots of angst. I know, I too miss the old Itachi and old Miyuki when they were children, young, wild and innocent, but hey, no Itachi story can possibly be complete without angst, could it? Pity we all have to grow up though._

 _Thank you so much all, for your wonderful reviews and for sticking with me till now._

 _Until next time..._

 _ **~AnEveningMoth**_ _just fluttering by..._


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